THE STUDENT HEALTH CENTER NEWSLETTER
BAD “CONNECTION?”
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but
I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not really what I
meant."
Communication is essentia! to an intimate rela
tionship. Let’s start then with "intimacy.” Accor
ding to most dictionaries, intimate means:
"characterized by pronounced closeness of
friendship or association: deeply personal." So in
timacy only vaguely hints physical relations with
another, and closeness of friendship, well, that re
quires communication.
where both players lose. Game playing begins
when you bait another by asking loaded questions
or playing “Poor Pitiful Pearl”, the victim of
neglect or wrong-doing. If you “win" the game,
you successfully dump guilt and resent on your
opponent and master the skill of manipulation.
Leave the games in the play pen, please, and read
on!
communication is a paradigm or nits and
misses. Often communication is better called
miscommunication, misinterpretation or missing
all together! There are a few short circuits at work
here in crossing communication wires: assuming
we can adequately read one’s mind and assuming
another can read our minds; fear of becoming
vulnerable and the big “P” word: pride. Do you
identify with any of these? If so, read on!
Monologue is a speech given in a play or movie
where a character explains an essential portion of
the plot. Between friends or lovers, monologue
means I talk AT you, you talk AT me and neither is
heard so we either talk louder or quit talking.
Dialogue is different. Dialogue is a communica
tion of presence and non-judgmental listen
ing — talking TO someone. Dialogue includes
those "secret” things that are difficult to
share — feelings. By expressing your feelings you
add honesty and presence to your words. By non
judgmental listening, you allow another to share
theirs and if the signals are vague you ask ques
tions, hold the judgment please.
Game playing is deceitful communicatio
Assertiveness is a skill vital to opening com
munication lines. The problem with assertiveness
is it is often confused with aggression. The first is
true and firm, the second is hostile. To be asser
tive means to gain ownership of your rights as a
human being: to feel and to think and to let these
be known. Being assertive means taking the risk
to unravel a few of your psychological layers and
let another see what is inside. This also means
saying no when you mean no and saying yes when
you mean yes. Being assertive means sopneone
may disagree with you or you may experience
some pain in allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It
also clears a path for intimacy where you won't
continually scramble to keep your facade intact.
Communication is a skill, perhaps even an art
and because of that, it takes practice. The starting
point is looking inward and reacquainting yourself
with "yourself”: your feelings, values and beliefs.
The reward of true communication is setting aside
defense mechanisms and cover-ups to share the
profound closeness of friendship, honesty and as
a friend or lover — intimacy. _^
By Beth Gaiser
INSIDE:
DATE RAPE
Contraceptaphobia
The fear of protection?
More on Aids
Sexual Wellness
NEED SOME
HEALTH INFOR
MATION FOR
THAT PAPER YOU
ARE WRITING????
Come by the Health
Education Center, Mon
day through Friday bet
ween 9 am and 2:30 pm.
You'll find a variety ol
books and audio casset
tes to check out, plus
educational pamphlets
and handouts on many
different health
topics — free!
DID YOU KNOW...
that 43 million people
in the U S. stopped
smoking in the last 25
years? Make It 43 million
and one by joining the
Fresh Start smoking
cessation classes at the
Student Health Center.
For more Information,
call the Health Educa
tion Center at 666-4456
M-F 9-2:30.
SEXUAL HEALTH
MEANS...
Knowing how to do a
breast self-exam or
testicular self
exam...going in for your
annual check-ups with
your health care practi
tioner, making responsi
ble choices and en
couraging others to as
well. To meet with a cam
pus health expert, call
the Student Health
Center at x4441 or x4456.
WHAT IF I AM
AFRAID...
that I'll lose him/her if I
don't have sex ... that I'm
pregnant or that my part
ner Is pregnant... that I
have something wrong
with me.. don't let fear
stop you. Call 686-4441
to set up an appointment
at the Student Health
Center.