Womenspace offers shelter, support
for battered women and their children
By Frale de Guzman
Emerald Reporter
Escape. For battered women and their
children trapped in an unending cycle of
violence in the home, freedom is not an
alternative. It’s a choice between life and
death.
For these women and children who
have nowhere else to run, Womenspace is
there. This non-profit organization, which
has been serving Lane County since 1977,
has sheltered more than 500 physically and
emotionally abused women and children.
In addition, the shelter has responded to
5,516 calls on the crisis line, which
operates 24 hours a day.
Volunteer workers oner social service
assistance, crisis counseling and emotional
encouragement to battered women.
Through these programs, workers attempt
to re-instill a feeling of self-confidence and
self-worth to these women and their
children, said Alissa Joerger, volunteer
coordinator of Womenspace.
“A woman in an abusive relationship
who reveals her feelings often gets hit,”
Joerger said. "So what a lot of abused
women do is turn off their feelings or stuff
them. It's only after they've been out of a
situation long enough that they become
angry or cry."
However, battered women have to feel
safe before these feelings can be expressed
and Womenspace attempts to reinforce this
sense of safety by giving these women
"time and space to make personal deci
sions." she added.
Battered women who first come to the
shelter are "emotionally numb." Joerger
said. Although many of these women are
extremely competent, running away from
their spouses places them in a risky posi
tion and those who decide to return to their
husbands often will be abused again, she
said.
However, many battered women still
choose to return home
"It's hard to be alone and single
parent." said loerger. "It's lonely and it's
scary Lots of times the partner will make tt
token gesture of change and will catch the
woman at a lonely moment, and she'll go
back to him thinking things have changed.
But things don’t change and she'll get hit
again."
Because many women do return to
their spouses, intervention plays a very im
portant role in many of the programs of
fered by Womens pace.
“We want to reach people before things
get so bad that all we can do is to pick up
the pieces that remain after the relation
ship,” said Joerger.
For many volunteers, volunteering
time at Womenspace gives them a deeper
awareness of the problems that face abused
women.
"1 was the first one to blame the vic
tim." said volunteer trainee |udi Noel, a
resident of (unction City. However she add
ed. "I've learned a lot about the patterns of
abuse and can understand why (battered)
women do not get themselves out of their
home situations."
Unfortunately, many of the women
who take refuge in the shelter already are
established victims of abuse
"By the time we see women, things
have gotten so bad that there's not a real
good chance that the relationship will
heal.” (oerger said.
In addition to its counseling services.
Womenspace also offers additional social
services They include 24-hour emergency
transportation, counseling, women's sup
port groups, legal and financial advocacy,
play therapy for children, and men's anger
management
Programs like the children's program
often attract volunteer workers to
Womenspace These volunteers undergo a
14-hour orientation masting, which is
followed by individual training sessions
The training sessions may consist of six
to 15 additional hours of training time
However, (he need to help often outweigh*
these slight inconveniences.
“The shelter serves a real need in the
community and I want to be a part of it."
said Falise Hadron, volunteer trainee and
sophomore criminal justice major at lame
Community College. "I am more conscious
of what iNittered women go through. The
training sessions sensitizes you to these
women's needs and to the reasons why
many of them return to their hustiands ."
Woman remembers life as an abused wife
By Shelly Kehm
Emerald Contributor
“II was like being lost in a
tunnel without a light at the
end. I wasn't even aware the
way we were living wasn't nor
mal because I had nothing to
compare it to," remembered
Mary Beth Barkley, whose hus
band beat her for 18 years before
she escaped to Kugene, changed
her name and began a new life
Barkley didn't do all this on
her own. however. She had
help from Wo me ns pace, a Lane
County shelter for women and
children who are victims of
domestic abuse and violence
Now an ambitious college
student and loving mother,
Barkley recalled a very different
past:
“It was a dark August night
when my daughter and I walked
up the street hand in hand, con
stantly looking over our
shoulders. We each carried a
suitcase, and our hearts were
full of hope and fear for an
uncertain future."
In 1980, Barkley was living in
a slate of hopelessness and
abuse. Her husband threatened
to kill her if she ever left him.
and he packed a gun to rein
force this promise.
"I never dreamed of a way
out.” she said, although she
and her daughter tried more
than once to escape But her
husband always caught up with
them
Once after leaving him, she
entrusted her new address with
her pastor Her determined hus
band convinced the pastor that
he was a changed man.
however.
Her husband lound the two
und brought them lwck to
Tacoma. Wash., where they
were residing at the time. At
this point. Barkely divorced
him. She remembered thinking
at the time the legal break
would hopefully keep him
away, keep him from further
harming her mentally and
physically
Barkley said her husband
pleaded for her forgiveness,
claiming that he had changed
for the better. She was so
physically and mentally ex
hausted and insecure, she col
lapsed into the marriage once
again.
Within three days of their
remarriage, her "new'' husband
was once more swearing he
would kill her if she ever tried
to escape again, liarkley said
"I was a part of the 'battered
women syndrome.' " she said
"It's not easy to leave once
you're in It A Iwttnred woman
is a battered woman. It's not just
what she is. it is her It's her
life. It's who she is."
Barkley decided it was time to
put an end to the syndrome
when her husband beat her in
their own trout yarn. knocking
her down to the grass and injur
ing both her hack, and her neck.
That was the straw that lucki
ly broke the camel's back and
not her own. she said.
Barkley contacted
Womenspace, who arranged for
her "big escape." On that
night. She and her daughter
knew little about who would
help and where they would go.
They met Womenipaca
representatives near a 7-11 stunt
and were driven to a bus
station.
Approaching the station they
caught a glimpse of her hus
t>and driving around and look
ing for them. The fear was in
tense. she said
Aided by the bus drivers and
VVomenspace representatives.
Barkley and her daughter sneak
ed onto one bus while her hus
band searched with his gun.
Turn to Womenspate, Page b
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