% Off the Cuff
For the Eyes Only
I'm a people watcher. Have
been for years Most people arc.
hut I'm one of the ones who con
sider it an an form. No. I
haven't been racking up convic
tions for peeping through the
windows at young girls, but 1 do
watch for people who don't
think that they arc being watch
ed Or care.
Universities arc a good place
to start University students are
7rmirth >*>.*/ / r
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focused on pouring information
into the inaw of their young and
lender minds, and don't seem to
care that they arc entertaining
others m the process. Like the
older student leaving the child
care center at the EMU on her
bicycle in the rain with her
daughter on the hack holding an
umbrella over them both Ihese
are times when I would kill for
an Instamatic.
The Chiles Center, the
multimillion dollar addition to
the business school, provides a
fascinating study of the narrow
hand of the human comfort
/one Equipped with
ergonomically designed seating,
specifically designed to correct
college student slump, the padd
ed. raised front edge of the seats
is tint high, causing the legs of
anyone under 5*10” to fall
asleep 15 minutes into class But
your back is straight, by God!
The temperature in Chiles is
controlled by a computer which
tells everyone via l.EI) readouts
in every room that it is set for 70
degrees The problem is that it
only knows that 70 degrees lies
si a new here between 60 and HO
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That means that the class en
masse un/ips their coats or takes
off their sweaters, and then
redoes the whole process 10
minutes later when the computer
decides that is is too warm and
turns on the air conditioner,
layering is an important con
up on a bench in Seattle beside
an Army surplus duffel bag held
shut at the neck by a gaudy 1973
vintage tie — tied in a perfect
Windsor. A former advertising
representative of a national
magazine turned burned out
alcoholic.
People read — everything from the
Wall Street Journal to Harlequin
romances. Somehow that seems
dangerous. One good love scene or
market rally and into the guardrail
you go.
ccpt. Amusing unless you have
three classes a day there.
Exams are a good time to peo
ple watch too. The law school or
something like the CPA exam
are the best Here the pressure is
really on and you can observe
humanity's differing responses
to stress While waiting, some
practice yoga, some sit silently
with their head in their hands,
and others talk incessantly to
complete strangers There are
those joking with friends, Iran
tically reviewing last minute
details, smoking, pacing like
caged tigers, or practicing Tai
Chi under the stairs Ami the
procession • to the restroom is
endless.
Any major test, be it the bar or
the CPA exam, will have its
share of repeaters. These people
have failed this particular test
before, and by this time they are
usually vegetables. They are the
ones w ith an entire shoe box fill
ed with 3 X 5 cards They scare
the hell out of the people there
for the first tune They're afraid
to talk to anyone because they
might add something to short
term memory, causing
something that they've carefully
stored there to fall out
The world is larger than just
the University, but there are
people to be w atched
everywhere
The homeless, in more cruel
times called street people, are
far less amusing, but even more
watchable just because most
people studiously avoid looking
at them The tall thin man curled
Cars arc my latest discovery.
Yes, I know they’ve been
around for years, but did you
know that everyone picks their
nose when they're alone in the
car at a stop light? I call it the
Ostrich Syndrome — I’m in my
car and no one can see me.
You'd better hope that’s not the
case, or you’ll never survive Los
Angeles traffic. Do you brush
your teeth while driving to
school in the morning? Lots of
people do. Or shave? Apply
your makeup? Drink coffee? 1
do too But the guy driving
down 1-5 with his coffee maker
plugged into the cigarette lighter
was a bit tix> addicted even by
my standards. And people read
— everything from the Wall
Street Journal to Harlequin
romances Somehow that seems
dangerous One good love scene
or market rally and into the
guardrail you go. The ones that
really worry me are the mothers
turned completely around in the
driver's seat. Hailing at their
children cowering in the back
while their 1977 Ford station
wagon hurdles unattended down
the road at 92 feet per second
The opportunities are
limitless. Colleges are perfect
training grounds for people wat
chers The best prexvf is that the
CIA comes recruiting every
year Thirteenth and Kincaid is
highly recommended for begin
ners. Tolerance is critical
Iax>k, don’t judge This is
humanity.
- L.S. LEUTHOLD
Spectrum_
A publication of the Oregon Daily Emerald
Editor . Stephen Maher
Assictant Editor . Tim Chauran
Photo Editor . John Giustina
Contributors: Shu-Shmg Chen, Finn John, Carl
Kokensparger, L.S. Leuthold, Stanley Nelson, Lorraine
Rath, Melissa Schukar
Cover Illustration by Shu-Shing Chen
The editors will not he responsible tor unsolicited manuscripts or
artwork. Submissions must include a stamped, self addressed envelope.
Writer’s guidelines may be picked up at the Oregon Daily Emerald
office, Rm. RX\ Erb Memorial Union Mailing address for Sjvvtrum
magazine is P O. Box )1$9, Eugene, Oregon 9740).