COLLEGE LIFE
A return to monogamy is most
pronounced among gay males
mg emphasis, says Michael ( arrera, t he sex educator But
it s really not sex-positive messages; it’s sex-negative mes
sages. \N hat I m concerned about is t hat t he young people on
college campuses simply not he left with tear about sexual
ity. hear of disease can lead to exaggerated responses
Ellen, a 26-year-old graduate student at the University of
Maryland, always uses a cont raceptive sponge when she and
her boyfriend Mark make love; he wears two condoms for
double protection. "I'm totally terrified of diseases and
pregnancy,” says Kllen. I’d like to make people wear a total
body condom if I could."
Fear shows up in ot her forms as well ()n some campuses,
anti-gay feelings are exhibited openly—as if AIDS were an
affliction wreaked by gays. Rock Hudson and I a Ik* race
jokes were in vogue after those entertainers died of AIDS
Fraternities and sororities at Dartmouth and I’enn. among
other places, have held parties with distinctly anti-gay
overtones that made fun of AIDS. Some straight students
admit that AIDS has increased homophobia on campus.
Not only for me but for a lot of jicople. AIDS is like a huge
block," says Brian, a Columbia freshman "You had
enough trouble dealing with [gays) anyway, and AIDS just
makes it harder to accept them It just sort of reinforces the
idea of them as outcasts.”
Knowledgeable advisers: At t he same time, some gay students
say that the AIDS crisis has brought gays and straights
together Since gay organizations have had todeal with the
disease for years, they are often good sources of accurate
information Terry Weisser, a 1985 Berkeley graduate, has
lectured frequently at colleges throughout the San Francis
co area since his lover, Paul, died of AIDS in 1985 "People
listen to me because I’ve had a personal experience," he
says. "I'm credible in that sense." Some educators think
that, as more straight students get to know gay students,
understanding will follow "One of the great functions of
college is to encourage the acceptance of diversity," Kee
ling says "As horrible as AIDS is, I hope that one of
the good things I hat may come out of our response to AIDS
Dr. Ruth on the
New Pillow Talk
The fear of AIDS and other sexually
transmitted diseases has changed the rules
of the matin# #ume. But how to balance the
need to be safe with the desire to be sportta
neons' Karen Spnripen of Nkwswkkk On
C ampus asked everyone s favorite sex theru
just. I)r. Ruth Westheirner. about the new
sexual etiquette:
Newsweek On Campus: How are sexual practices
changing on campuses, it at all?
Dr. Ruth: I would say it brought a change
People are going to be more careful about
having a relationship before they have sex.
I can’t say if students are having less sex,
but I can say there certainly is a lot of
discussion.
Q. Is there a fear of sex on campuses—or at least a
fear of promiscuous sex?
A. Absolutely. That fits into what I’ve been
saying all along: most people do not want to
engage in one-night stands. It’s concern,
not fear. 1 don’t think that horror adver
tisements and frightening movies are go
ing to help.
0. How should the new sexual etiquette work?
Who asks about condoms, the woman or the
man? Any suggestions as to how and when
students can tastefully bring up the subject?
A. I favingtoask a partner before thesexual
episode, "What was your past love life
like.’’' and using a condom are difficult for
young people One shouldn't underesti
mate that, but it has to be done. 1 don’t
know what sale sex is. but I'm sure that
using a condom is safer sex I would not
make a blanket statement about who
should ask Make sure there’s a box of con
doms right next to your bed They should be
in all colors.
Q. But how can a couple keep these technicalities
from killing a romantic mood?
Keep the spark twinkling': The therapist
STK\ KN KHIKDM \\
A. If the woman places the condom on the
man as part of foreplay, then that is going
to keep the spark twinkling.
0 What is the best way—and the most appropriate
time—for gay and straight men and women to bring
up the topic of AIDS?
A. 1 don’t think we can give a time Any
time is appropriate before that first sexual
encounter That doesn't mean that some
one should say in a bar, "What's your
name, your occupation, and do you have
a condom'.’"
Q. Do you find that college students who are virgins
are no longer afraid to admit it?
A. I would say that somebody who is not
sexually act ive should not he embarrassed
My opinion on that has not changed.
Q. Have STD's and AIDS done some damage to the
image of campus studs'?
A. I never thought that a campus stud was
an attractive picture in any case.
Q. What should colleges be doing to ensure their
students safety?
A. I believe t hat every single campus ought
to have an Awareness Week, not only for
SI D’s but also about the importance of
using contracept ives and for talking about
relationships in general—not forgetting
about love And it would he nice if we could
get our young people interested in fund
raising for research into AIDS, just as
President Kennedy inspired young people
about space research.