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Video postcards: a high-tech 'hello'
By Frale de Guzman
(M Dm hwiiM
A new gift idt*a is now out on th*» market
— vfdoti (Mijtli.ards
"It's an opportunity to send « pieto of
yourself to someone." said Howard Wade
creator of Video Postcards
For $1^. people t an send a three to five
minute postage paid, videotaped message or
skit to family and friends.
Like postcards, the videotaped messages
are short, but are personalized and sometimes
funny greetings to loved ones when "a phone
call nr a letter jus! isn’t enough.”
"It’s fun to watch people you know on
TV, especially if you haven’t seen them for
awhile." Wade said.
"A lot of the students at the University
have parents that have never been out to the
University," he said "This is a way for them
to see the dorm their children live in or to see a
little bit of the campus."
The idea for Video Postcards began in
1983 when Wade and Chris Powers worked
together on a weekly comedy/variety show
that relied on man-on-the street’ interviews.
The popularity of the show gave Wade and
Powers additional insight into human
behavior and convinced them of the idea's
tuber. Wade and partners K.«p Richards and
Powers have made a total of about 100
videotaped massages
The public's first response to the idea is.
“Video postcards — what a great idea*" Wad**
said.
Outside the studio. Wade and his partners
i harge $25 to videotape weddings, anniver
saries, family reunions, holiday gatherings
and to make video inventories of homes and
businesses.
Part of the attraction of Vldao Postcards is
that the videos are packaged for mailing and
Video Postcards pays the postage cost. Wade
said
•■ft’s great to be able to go out and get a
present tor somebody and drop it in the mail
the same day without having to stand in line.'’
he added.
‘ It's a great present.** said Leslie Glasses.
31. a Eugene resident who sent a video
postcard of hat children to their grandparents.
Tfs a great deal, and it’s really different ’’
A section of Gleaner's video showed her
children fighting with each other, end the
children’s grandparents loved it. Cleaser said.
Through the video postcard, they “get to see
the children end have e record of them.”
Stepfamily
Continued from Page 14
Another problem area outlin
ed in a recent SAA seminar is
maintaining a livable relation
ship with a former spouse.
It is essential for the parents
to communicate with each other
without making any hostility
apparent to the children, Dwan
said. One common pitfall is us
ing the children as messengers
in disputes between the
biological parents, she said.
While tempting, this is a
method of communication that
must be avoided, she said.
"When you say to a child,
‘Remind your father that he has
to give me his child support
payment,' what you’re really
saying to the child is, ‘Your
daddy is not a good daddy,’ ”
Dwan said.
Indeed, most problems tacea
by stepfemilies deal directly
with their children, she said.
After a divorce, children
maintain hope that their parents
will reconcile their differences
and get back together. Dwan
said. When a parent remarries,
children realize that the
likelihood of that is seriously
diminished, she said.
Because of this, children will
often show hostility toward
their new parent, not only to
vent the anger they feel for the
loss of the original family unit,
but also to try to create a divi
sion within their household.
Dwan said.
“The child will often try to
create a wedge between their
parent tfeid new stepparent,
thinking that they can get their
parents back together." said
Dwan. "These feelings go away
in time. The hostility is usually
gone by the time the children
are about 16 or 17."
Of course, hostility is not
always present In a stepfamlly.
as University sophomore Chris
Nolan points out. Nolan has
been a member of two step
families for eight years
‘Tve gotten along really well
with my stepparents." said
Nolan. "My attitude from the
start has been, 'Well, my
parents are married to them, 1 m
not.' My stepparents are both
super people, so we've gotten
along great."
Problems often arise when
people remarry and bring
together teen-age. opposite sex
children. Dwan said. Sexual in
volvement between stepsiblings
is much more common than in
volvement between biological
siblings, she said.
"The incest taboos haven't
had a chance to develop."
Dwan explained.
In an article for "Remar
riage," a national newsletter for
stepfamilies. New Mexico fami
ly therapist Dr. David Baptiste.
Jr. outlined the typical cir
cumstances under which such
involvement often takes place.
Remarried parents are troubl
ed when opposite sex siblings
seem cold and distant, accor
ding to Baptiste. They try to br
ing the stepsiblings together —
often much closer than the rela
tionship biological siblings
share.
Because of the "absence of
the incest taboo in step
families." this pressure for
closeness may lead to sexual in
volvement. he wrote.
Stepparents can take
measures to avoid this, accor
ding to Baptiste. They have to
realize that it is possible for sex
ual involvement to develop in a
stepfamily and be careful not to
allow opportunities under
which a sexual relationship
may develop and be inadver
tently encouraged.
Stepparents must also avoid
pushing stepsiblings closer
"than they want or can tolerate
at the time," he added
In some instances, there are
more problems between same
sex stepsiblings than opposite
sex stepsiblings, Nolan said. He
has one biological sister.
Stephanie, and a stepsister.
Nicole.
"My stepsister and I have
always had a pretty good rela
tionship," Nolan said, "but she
can drive my sister up the wall.
"Nicole has always used my
sister as a role model. When
Stephanie started playing the
flute. Nicole had to learn how to
play the flute. H got pretty bad
sometimes.” he said. “Even
that's gotten better over the
years though.”
The holiday season is often a
critical time for stepfamilies.
Dwan said. Christmastime
brings thoughts of family and
tradition and can make the go
ing rough when the family is
new and the old traditions are
gone, she said.
To combat this, she suggested
creating new traditions. Step
families can brighten their
holidays by starting their own
yearly rituals, she said.
The holidays can be much
easier on the children of step
families if the biological parents
still live near each other. Dwan
said.
"I'm lucky — my parents on
ly live two blocks away from
each other.'‘ Nolan said. "I can
celebrate Christmas at one
house, then walk over and
celebrate it at the other house.”
AH in all. many people find
that being in a stepfamily is a
joyful, enriching experience.
“I think I'm a lot happier now
than 1 would have been without
the stepfamilies." Nolan said.
"I've always had two super peo
ple for parents Now I have
four.”
People interested in learning
more about the SAA can find
out about the group and their
activities in a variety of ways
such as public service an
nouncements and school
newsletters. They also are refer
red to the SAA by groups like
the Sacred Heart Women's Aux
iliary and by lawyers familiar
with the group.
The SAA is active on a na
tional scale and is head
quartered in Baltimore. Md.
Members receive the "Step
family Bulletin." a quarterly
magazine containing articles,
news briefs, book reviews and
other things pertaining to step
families.
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