Herpes
Continued from Page 1
or two per week,” she said.
Ann discovered her herpes in
.September of 1985. "I thought
sure there must have been some
mistake. I had been seeing the
same person...! just kept
thinking. ‘God, this can't be
happening to me ' "
Mary, an upper-income pro
fessional. contracted herpes
over the summer and searched
their greatest time of need.
Simon said.
A question Pursley and
Simon find common with
herpes sufferers is how to deal
with their sexuality in conjunc
tion with the disease.
Ron says he was a fairly pro
miscuous person before he con
tracted herpes six years ago. “I
was due for a case of herpes. I
‘There is such a God-awful stigma attached
to the virus, yet it's not fatal, and it’s not
extremely infectious. *
Carolyn Pursley
out a support group after receiv
ing inadequate attention from
her doctor. "He was not very
helpful. I was depressed, and
my social life was a disaster. My
boyfriend wouldn't talk to me.
He basically abandoned me.”
she said.
It was at this point that Mary
contacted Simon, whose name
appeared on a flyer for the sup
port group. "1 called Sharlene
in tears. She was wonderful —
she told me 1 would make it."
Mary said.
And slowly but surely, Mary
is making it. With the help of
the support group, she is gain
ing confidence about her
disease and has been able to
discuss and examine her rela
tionship with her boyfriend, she
said.
He no longer avoids her and
the two are taking an extended
vacation together over
Christmas.
But many who contract the
virus are single with no
established partner. It is these
people who need information as
soon as they find out, Sitnon
said. The support group has
distributed flyers about the
group to local gynecologists in
hopes of attracting people in
was pretty loose and easy
going. I dated a lot. then people
started noticing that I was
showing up stag to
everything.”
Now things are different for
Kon, who has abstained from
sex for six years. And it isn't
just society's reaction to herpes
that makes it difficult hut also
women's negative reactions. "I
usually anticipate rejection, and
you usually get what you
anticipate.
“I’ve been out of circulation
so long that I’ve become kind of
asceptic. I'd probably get scared
if something came along.” Kon
said.
The problem lies in finding a
delicate way to tell a potential
partner of the disease. “It's all
in how people perceive
themselves. I'd always relied on
being sexually competent. Now
I don't have that strong carpet of
self-esteem,” Ron said.
Pursley agrees that the
answer lies with how a person
deals with it themselves. "I
have fairly frequent outbreaks,
but I haven’t had a man not
want to be with me for a long
time. When you accept it
yourself is when others accept
it." she said
But there is a tendency for
people to be emharrased and
tentative telling partners
especially when they are first
confronting the situation
themselves. "It's easy for so
meone to turn you down when
you say. Oh God, you really
won't want me when I tell you
this.." Simon said.
The real crime lies with those
who know they have herpes but
continue sexual relations
without alerting their partners
Ron says it takes a lot of courage
to begin to address the illness
"Some people won't tell
anyone they have it. They carry
it and are so egocentric that they
give no thought at all beyond
satisfying their own animalistic
urges," ho said.
"It takes a lot of responsibili
ty because outbreaks aren’t
always visible.” Pursley said.
"You make a choice within
yourself. It's better to deal with
it than to carry around the guilt
and fear. It's better than having
a wonderful night on the
weekend, then waking up the
next day thinking. ‘Oh God. am
I going to get a phone call?' "
But in some cases, talking
with partners about having
herpes acts as a strange sort of
screening tool, according to
Simon. If someone with the
virus is meeting new people
and is rejected because of it. this
may put up a warning flag about
that person, Simon said. "How
would that person deal with a
crisis in life?"
Most herpes sufferers agree
this is the most difficult aspect
of the disease to deal with. "It
isn't the physical symptoms
that are hard. I get outbreaks
every two or three months when
I'm under extreme stress, but
they are usually very mild,"
Ann said.
After initial outbreaks, which
are usually in the form of pain
Office
Continued from Page 1
oversees the OAA, to allow the OAA to take on
sexual orientation cases from start to finish.
Without such a mandate, the OAA was only
able to give general counseling and pointers to
students with a sexual orientation grievance.
Kaplan said.
The OAA could not represent students with
sexual orientation disputes fully because the ma
jority of students with such disputes have
student-against-student complaints, and since
the OAA is funded by incidental fee money, it
cannot take on such complaints.
“Not only am I burred from representing one
student against another, but if the discrimination
took the form of a conduct code violation, this of
fice would have to provide defense services to the
alleged discriminator, so I obviously could not
help advance a grievance against someone my of
fice was going to be representing.” Kaplan said.
Lucille Seibert, equal education specialist
from the OAA, said while sexual orientation was
in the OAA Equal Opportunity in Education and
Employment policy, the office could not process
a formal sexual orientation grievance.
“Years ago, when it was listed by the Univer
sity that it was prohibited to discriminate against
a person because of their sexual orientation, the
University looked at our caseload and decided
that we were already handling many discrimina
tion complaints based on race, gender and
disability, so it was decided that we wouldn't
take on the additional grievances that came
through that would lie based on sexual orienta
tion." Seibert said.
“Lucy Kaplan did an excellent job of bring
ing this to everyone's attention. Sexual orienta
tion grievants had nowhere to go for formal
resolution until now," she added.
Students with sexual orientation grievances
can go to the OAA and receive advice on how to
respond to a person they feel is discriminating
against them on their own or can ask the OAA to
talk to the person for them.
"If the discrimination was based on a
misunderstanding or ignorance, I would work to
educate the people involved and let them know
that their action is considered prohibited
discrimination," Seibert said.
"If the student doesn't really think that will
resolve the situation, then I can assist them in
writing up a formal complaint." Seibert added.
A formal grievance complaint involves the
student writing down what happened to him or
her and signing the complaint.
The OAA sends the student's letter along
with a letter of transmission to Olum. The letter of
transmission lists the authority by which the
grievance is sent and the basis for the complaint,
such as race. age. religion or sexual orientation.
Olum then gives the letter to the appropriate
vice president who appoints an investigation of
ficer. who is given 30 days to investigate the com
plaint and write a report of the findings of the
investigation.
Olum, or the appropriate vice president, will
determine what sanctions will be imposed. Sanc
tions can range from a letter in a personnel file, or
a letter to the student, to termination or suspen
sion. Seibert said.
A student can go to the OAA with an infor
mal grievance and ask that an informal resolution
take place without his or her name being
mentioned.
"This method tends to l>e the one that works
best when the alleged harusser was ignorant of
how their actions were being perceived —- in ef
fect. if it was unintentional." Seibert said.
A person can also call for advice on how to
handle a situation without giving their name.
Once a student dues give his or her name,
confidentiality is assured by the OAA. Seibert
said.
If a student feels he or she has been treated
differently because of sexual orientation, they
should document when and where it happened
Also, they should list any witnesses, Seibert said.
ful sores or blisters in the
genital area, the herpes virus
migrates to groups of nerve cells
called ganglia near the spinal
column or brain. When the
body is under stress, the virus
causes new lesions or out
breaks. It is at this time that
genital herpes is highly
contagious.
There is often confusion bet
ween herpes simplex virus 1
(HSV-1) and herpes simplex
virus 2 (HSV-2). HSV-1 usually
surfaces as the common cold
sore, but can be transmitted to
the genitals through seif
innoculation or oral sex
Ann got genital herpes this
way. "Most people have no idea
that they can get genital herpes
if their partner has a coldsore on
their mouth," she said.
She feels it was her own ig
norance about the virus that got
her into "this mess." as she
calls it. and she sometimes
wishes she could make people
understand how painful unkind
remarks and jokes about herpes
are.
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Try U9!
884 East 13th st
“People should be very
candid where and when they
make fun of herpes because a lot
of people have it. My feelings
have been hurt by people who
are friends of mine who don't
know I have it. People an* in
considerate that way." Ann
said
Others seek help thnnigh the
support gnnip to combat self
destructive feelings after getting
herpes.
Dave got herpes 14 months
ago and went into "total seclu
sion" for the first five months.
"I still get to feeling down
sometimes, so I go down to the
gym and kill myself. It's almost
like I don’t care if I hurt
myself." Dave said.
In the welding shop when* he
works. Dave says he is aware of
prejudices toward other people
that make him wonder how his
co-workers would react to his
virus. "YVe hinul a fellow who
had an earring, and they made
all kinds of comments about
that, so I wonder what they’d
say if they knew?"
Turn to Herpes. Page 15
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