A book for brains
"Brainstorm"
|im Blashfield, Gideon Bosker
Marble Press, Portland, 1983
$4.95, unpaged
In one of your more lame
brained moments, have you ever
imagined what a map of Nancy
Reagan's brain would look like?
According to Portland authors Jim
Blashfield and Gideon Bosker, 70
percent of Mrs. Reagan's cerebral
mass would be devoted to an ap
preciation of fine china, five per
cent would house the "de la Renta
zone with Bloomingdale Abberra
tion," 15 percent would cover
"smiling” (subdivided into smil
ing while listening, while talking,
while sleeping) and the remaining
10 percent would be surrendered
to the First lady’s "love of small
sandwiches."
Don't worry, though. Blashfield
and Bosker don't limit their
elucidation of the brain to public
figures and politicians. These guys
have written and illustrated a little
cartoon-style book that takes a
humorous look at the chief
mystery of human anatomy.
Artist Jim Blashfield — who also
edits the well designed Portland
newsmagazine, The Clinton St.
Quarterly, writes and stays away
from tull-time advertising jobs —
has always had a fascination for
the brain.
"I've always wondered how
brains realiy worked," Blashfield
said. "From a distance I'm
fascinated by the ideas that minds
can shape. Brains are like so many
radios that are wired differently.
For instance, I just wonder how
somebody on a bus could spend
time counting all the people with
lipstick on."
Blashfield says we're all a little
afraid of the brain. It's the seat of
our anxieties about the universe,
but as "Brainstorm" whimsically
illustrates, it's also a very
understandable mechanism. It's
built like a percolator. It has a
deep, dark area like a basement
that stores up information. It
moves, sometimes like a lazy
susan, and explodes sometimes,
like an angry machine.
According to the authors' zany
analysis, the lumpy grey mass was
discovered in 1955 by, Mrs. Elaine
Bevis who was brushing her hair
at the time. Much later, in the year
one million six hundred four, ail
brains marched into the sea, were
picked up by a group of martian
fishermen and were later sold
throughout the solar system as in
dustrial sponges.
That was Blashfield's ending.
Bosker insisted that the book end
on a note of hope. It does. Shelv
ed in a supermarket, the brain is
preparing for reconnection with a
subhuman world. The grey mass
is last seen whispering to a
martian-like kid, suggesting that
he could start a Little league team
or invent linoleum.
Though the unpaged book
could read like a spate of brain
jokes and brain teasers, it's better
read from start to finish, Blashfield
said.
"There's a lot of cultural com
mentary going on that's beside
the point," Blashfield said. "You
might miss the point if you just
read it like a bunch of brain jokes
An illustration of "screwing your
brains out, " according to authors
lim Blashfield and Gideon Itosker.
tor people who can't think of any
new ways to abuse cats.”
Though Blashfield admits to
having been a compulsive joker in
his long-past teen-aged days (and
to having worn a Halloween
costume this year that tagged him
as the Rod Stewart of the Animal
World), he rejects the funny-man
stereotype.
And he denies having co
authored the book for some quick
and dirty laughs.
Instead, when Bosker (who is
also an Emergency Room physi
• cian and columnist on the side)
suggested doing the brain book, a
fascination turned into a labor of
love.
"You do the things that you're
interested in,” Blashfield said. "I
figured that some other peoples'
brains would have the same-sized
holes and we would connect."
Angela Allen Morgan
Roseanne funnier on screen
"Roseanne Roseannadanna's
‘Get Back to Work' Book"
Gilda Radner, Alan Zweibel
Long Shadow Books, New York,
1983
$4.95, confused paging
"Hey Roseanne!" I said. "What
are you doing on my desk? Get up
and do something funny like you
do on television!"
But she just sat there, looking at
me with this stupid expression.
"Come on, Roseanne," I said.
"Make me laugh!" Then I took a
few steps closer and noticed she
was looking kind of flat.
"Hey Roseanne, you're a book!"
It shouldn't come as any sur
prise that "Roseanne Rosean
nadanna's 'Get Back to Work'
Book" doesn't have anything to
say about getting a job. What
might be surprising is that it really
(3hU0s
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isn't all that funny.
Something is definitly lost in the
translation from the T.V. screen to
the book. Gilda Radner relies
heavily on facial expression and
that screechy voice to make us
laugh while watching Saturday
Night Live. It doesn't make it in
the book.
The book tells the tale of Ro
seanne Roseannadanna and gives
the history of the whole Rosean
nadanna clana, their arrival in the
United States and the founding of
the Very Wet Laundrette and the
Very Dry Dry Cleaners.
Roseanne ends with being fired
from her job at NBC because of
"Reaganometry."
"Roseanne, if you have a
69-year-old President who stands
at a 70 degree angle to the ground
and whose understanding of the
economy is that of a man whose
I.Q. is 71, how many people will
end up out of work?" her boss
asks.
Well, Roseanne's one of them.
Too bad it couldn't have happen
ed earlier than page xcv of the
preface. That's one hell of a
preface.
The way to read this book is to
sit in front of a blank television
screen, look into the television
and read the book aloud softly, at
tempting to mimic the voice of Ro
seanne Roseannadanna. If you
squint your eyes and try real hard
you might get a few laughs.
Frank Shaw
1
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