** German
AUTO SERVICE
~ _ "Since 1963”
VWs - MERCEDES - BMWs
DATSUN - TOYOTA - AUDI
Reliable Service For Your Foreign Auto
342 2912 2025 Franklin Blvd.
VniversitM Theatre presents
December 1,2J,ft9,l0
Robiwsoti T be At re &00 p.m.
For tickets am£> mformAtion
caII 6S6-419I
Dll—IHT» «■*
SANDWICHES!
You love our bagels,
you’ll love our sandwiches.
is 5 kinds of meat
is 5 kinds of cheese
v* Pizza bagels
is Sandwich specials
Create your own combination of any
meat and cheese
^ Free: Sprouts, lettuce, tomato,- onion,
poupon or regular mustard,
mayonnaise, and horseradish.
Hundreds of combinations of sandwiches
available on 8 kinds of our great bagels, wheat
bread, sour rye bread, challah bread, or 2 kinds
of croissants!
TRY A SANDWICH
TODAY!
humble bagel co.
24th & Hilyard
Notables
Maude Kerns Art Center
will begin its annual
Christmas sale and festival
with a gala preview, Friday,
Nov. 18, at 8 p.m. Hors
d'oeurves, champagne and
other refreshments will be
served and the Chagall
Quartet, members of the
Junior Symphony, will pro
vide entertainment. People
who attend the preview
will have first selection of
items handcrafted by more
than 300 area artists and
craftspeople. Admission to
the preview is $2.50; it in
cludes the first glass of
champagne.
Let's swing! The University
Recreational Folkdancers
are sponsoring a "Swing
Dance" workshop with
Sam Bucher, a popular in
structor from Northern
California, Friday, Nov. 18,
at 8 p.m. at 350 Gerlinger
Annex. Admission is $1.25
for the general public, 75
cents for University
students. For information
call 687-9643.
“The Moody Blues" will be
in Portland at the Civic
Center, Monday, Nov. 21.
The rock'n'roll group,
which has been around for
more than 20 years, is on a
30-city American tour.
Tickets in Eugene are
available at the Meier &
Frank ticket office.
The University Symphony
Orchestra will present its
fall concert on Monday,
Nov. 21, at 8 pm. in Beall
Concert Hall. The sym
phony, directed by Marsha
Mabrey, will perform
Bedrich Smetana's "The
Moldau", Brahms' "Varia
tions on a Theme by
Haydn, Op. 560"; and Leos
lanacek's "Sinfonietta." In
addition, a 45-minute dress
rehearsal concert, featuring
material from the evening
performance, will also be
performed Monday, Nov.
21, at noon in Beall Hall.
Son Seals, the nationally ac
claimed Chicago bluesman
and Grammy-nominated ar
tist, will appear in concert,
Sunday, Nov. 20, at WOW
Hall, 291 West 8th Avenue.
Performing with Seals will
by his todring and recor
ding band, Chicago Fire.
"The lumpin' Jazz Festival
I" featuring Freddie Hub
bard and Tania Maria is
coming to the Hult
Center's Silva Concert Hall,
Friday, Nov. 18, at 8 p.m.
Jazz drummer Buddy Rich
was scheduled to appear,
but cancelled. Tickets are
$6.SO, $8.50 and $10.50.
Steel string guitarist and
composer, Paul Chasman,
will be the featured musi
cian Sunday, Nov. 20, at
The Beanery in Eugene. His
appearance is part of the
Coffee Concert Series,
sponsored by the Eugene
Guitar Association and
Allann Brothers Coffee
Company. Series tickets
are available for $14 at The
Beanery. Single tickets will
be sold at the door for $2.
Chasman will also present
a Sunday afternoon
workshop on guitar im
provisation; interested
guitarists should
preregister for the $20
workshop by calling Dave
Case at 342-6826.
"The Day After" an ABC-TV
movie depicting the effects
of an all-out nuclear war
on Lawrence, Kansas, will
air Sunday, Nov. 20, at 8
p.m. on Eugene's KEZI. In
the controversial film,
NATO uses tactical nuclear
weapons against Soviet
conventional forces in
vading Western Europe,
and the war escalates into
a nuclear war between the
super powers. A free show
ing will be sponsored by
SNuFF in the EMU Forum
Room, with a discussion
following.
Did vou hear the one about . . ?
Jokes are funny things. Either
they,make you laugh or they
don't; there is no such animal as
an almost-funny joke. And if there
is a joke of the '80s, it's a sick joke.
Humor has gone out the* door.
Cross is enough. And speaking of
gross, dead baby jokes were big a
little while ago. How do you get 99
dead babies in a paper bag?
Cuisinart.
Blotch. But people laugh.
What's black and white and red
and can't turn around in a phone
booth? A penguin with a /avelin
through its head.
Funny. Real funny.
So we hear a lot of of sic k jokes
— but the old jokes are still
around. Ethnic jokes are the
perfect example. Alt you have to
do is change the nationality and
you have a new joke.
Why doesn't Italy have a na
tional tishf It drowned.
Change a few words and you
have a Mexican immigration joke.
Why won't Mexico have an Olym
pic team in 1984f Because anyone
who can run, jump or swim is
already in LA.
And jokes of the ethnic variety
lokes apply to other groups, too.
How many Artesians does it take
to screw in a lightbulb? Two. lust
two. Think about that one.
But the pun, the oldest form of
humor, is going the way of the
dodo and the passenger pigeon.
Now a pun doesn't even get a
groan, much less a laugh. Usually
it just garners a dirty look and, if
it's really bad, some flying objects.
Of course, the dirty joke is in
fine form in the '80s. No examples
here; this is a classy publication.
(Heard any good ones lately?)
Frank Shaw
• • • •
• ••.* • •
• ••
• • 0 «
» • • 0
• • • •
• * • m m • •
* • • • •
’• • • •••.
c*-s
•V
• • •
• • • •
• • •%
• •
V.Vs
• • ••,
^oco
ftOc^ xS ...,
Co'
Ne<
■S®j&
«£\h*5* n0^ ^
*%&$%**
’SSSsgE^***
U'^ocoiloKi i
Ht/t**'*4'
• •
• • • • • •
*•*•*»*• V «!,*••
w.v.
• * * *. • •
► • • • <
*•••••
• • •
• • •
• * • • •
■•••*.•'•• V-'
•• • • • •*
t •
.*. .*.•*.
% *\«
• -4
>•••
_ • • 1
••
'It*' &y
fKCt°
••• *•/ *
A* * «v
••• .• *
• •••*
• • • • •
•• • •«
••
•••