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ft** It, Section t
On record
Mr. Rogers, so lovable
"Eyes That See in the Dark"
Kenny Rogers
Imagine the excitement in the
stodgy old Emerald offices when
the latest lovable Mr. Kenny
Rogers album, "Eyes That See in
the Dark," arrived in the mail.
Boy, the electricity was so thick
you could've cut it with a wet
knife.
For the soft-hearted of the hard
core lovable Mr. Kenny Rogers
fans, there's a too too perfect air
brushed photo of lovable Mr. Ken
ny Rogers in a yellow
sweater... smiling ... on the
record sleeve.
"Bartender, a Scotch rocks. And
keep'em coming."
The most remarkable aspect
about this lovable Mr. Kenny
Rogers' album is the whole damn
thing was done by the Gibb
brothers — Barry, Robin and
Maurice. There's even a helping
hand from Albhy Galuten, long
time producer for the BeeGees.
A plus (well... perhaps that's
saying too much) is lovable Mr.
Kenny Rogers' duet with the
voluptuous Dolly Parton in
"Islands in the Stream." No, it
isn't Hemingway's last novel set to
music, though it would have
benefited from such minimalism.
"Bartender, another Scotch
rocks, quick."
Oh my Gawd, they call this
music? The first track, "This
Woman," has the unmistakable
Gibb kitsch influence. It's lovable
Mr. Kenny Rogers gone Disco. . .a
real toe-tapper. Lovable Mr. Kenny
Rogers does have a tad bit of dif
ficulty with an unkind tempo. It
sounds like he's playing catch-up
and is on the wheeze by the first
chorus.
The following track, "You and
I," is a wowie. It's got lush strings
and the Gibb brothers. (All of 'em
except Andy; be thankful for small
mercies.) It's wickedly awesome
when the Gibbs add their
patented gelded choir.
Listen to these lyrics. Lovable
Mr. Kenny Rogers is such a warm,
caring, sensitive, tender human
being. He deserves to have money
thrown at his feet. Nay, money
strewn in his path. He should not
The next best thing
To your bare feet?
It's Birkenstock —
The comfort treat.”
natural footprint sandals
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have to touch this vile earth like
ordinary mortals.
"As long as I got you,
As long as you got me
We got you and I."
It chokes you up. Could Sonny
and Cher have put it any better?
It's too incredible. Lovable Mr.
Kenny Rogers plumbs the depth
of feeling and sums up countless
relationships. It doesn't matter
who does the dishes. The lovable
Mr. Kenny Rogers is singing.
C'mon you lovebirds, let the
dishes soak.
"Buried Treasure" was written
by all three of the Gibbs — they've
been too long in Florida. It's got a
twangin' guitar. Maybe the Gibbs
have been snorting the Gatlin
Brothers?
Lovable Mr. Kenny Rogers is
right at home in this tears-for
beers country tune. Why, it
positively reeks of (and like) coun
try music.
Drum-roll please. Here it is —
what you've all waited for —
"Islands in the Stream." Guess
who wrote it?
What a sure-thing, lovable Mr.
Kenny Rogers and the voluptuous
Dolly Parton. It's amusing though,
lovable Mr. Kenny Rogers doesn't
play fair, he upstages the poor and
voluptuous Dolly Parton.
You know how they do these
cheesy albums? Firstsession musi
cians lay down the basic tracks
with an assistant producer at the
mixing board. Weeks after the
basic tracks are down, lovable Mr.
Kenny Rogers cruises in one fine
afternoon and does the singing
from a lyric sheet. Hey, he's outta
there by early evening — wham,
bang, another album in the can.
This album was done in the
same assembly-line, get-a-fast
buck fashion. It's so obvious, the
voluptuous Dolly Parton messes
up the lyrics to "Islands in the
Stream" and they leave it in.
But what's galling about this
album is the photo of lovable Mr.
Kenny Rogers, the voluptuous
Dolly Parton and kitschy Barry
Gibb (not the one with the bad
teeth) on the back of the album. It
shows one important thing these
people need haircuts, even the
voluptuous Dolly Parton.
"Barrrrtindah? Barrrrlindah?"
Cort Fernald
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