Do the EMU Workout, you maniacs — maniacs
"This is your conscience. You've spent all
summer gnashing nacho cheese Doritos
and guzzling beer in front of the TV by the
pool. When you look down to see your toes
— if you can see your toes — it seems like
you are gazing over the curvature of the
earth. Let's face it, you've turned into a
quivering mass of pasty flesh. There's only
one thing left to do — it's time to get in
shape and do the EMU Workout. C’mon
you turkeynecks, assemble in the EMU
Recreation Center."
The best way to start is to do warm-ups in
the bowling alley. Stretch those muscles.
A
ultimate frisbee, volleyball, waterpolo? It
gives you sore muscles just reading all the
coeducational activities.
The handles are shivering and the flab is
just burning up — climb the green steps,
it's time for “roadwork" in the Taylor
Lounge. One thing about doing a few miles
in Taylor Lounge, we have to be careful not
to disturb the people sitting on the couches
studying or reading the newspaper. The
comfortable atmosphere of Taylor Lounge
makes it a good place to relax.
Huff puff huff puff — got to swear off the
popcorn.
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Watch out for the bowlers. The recreation
center has two bowling alleys. There are
bowling tournaments, leagues, classes and
exhibition throughout the year. Once a year
a campus-wide tournament selects
representatives to compete in the Associa
tion of College Unions International
-egional games for ACU-1 Region XIV.
After dodging those hooking bowling
balls, let's jog through the billiard room and
around the dart board. The recreation
center has many distractions that could
sway the less-than-obsessed exerciser.
Beware of the foosball, table tennis, shuf
fleboard and traditional games like
backgammon and chess. Especially be
careful of the video arcade with Ms. Pac
Man, Zaxon, Pole Position and Centipede.
We should be doing sit-ups, not sit downs.
It's a good idea to catch our breath, then
run-in-place in the Outdoor Program. In
dividuals can initiate environmental pro
jects through the auspices of the Outdoor
Program. Trips or activities like climbing or
river running can come together when peo
ple get together in the Outdoor Program.
"She's a maniac.. maniac."
Now, let's get ready for the next series of
exercises. Jog to the Club Sports office.
Jumping Jacks — ready 1.. .2...
Club Sports is the "weekend warriors"
paradise, providing students, staff and
faculty with opportunities to compete in a
variety of activities. If your thing is badmin
ton, there's a club with membership in the
Oregon Badminton Association. How about
baseball, bicycling, crew, equestrian, fenc
ing, handball, judo, karate, korfball,
lacrosse, rugby, sailing skiing, soccer,
After cartwheels in the alcove gallery,
we're going to hustle down to the student's
program suites. Okay, take a break, there's
such a bustle of activity already in this area
we might run into ASUO politicos — literal
ly. In the suites is a mixture of student
groups such as the ASUO, SEARCH, SUAB,
OSPIRC and other such acronyms. Also
down in this part of the EMU is the Cultural
Forum and the Off-campus Housing Office.
Back up to the stairs — we're going to do
from the stage. 1...2...3 kick. Do you like
soul music? There have been some
memorable concerts in the ballroom like
The (English) BEAT and Iggy Pop. One thing
to remember — stage-diving is not permit
ted. The ballroom is also the site of sym
posiums on a variety of intellectual
pursuits.
This is a tough exercise, not recommend
ed to anyone who hasn't the dedication to
buy sweats, leg-warmers and rounded
head-bands. On this one we'll leap from
one booth to the other in the Skylight
Refectory. Under the 4,000 square foot
skylight we'll bounce like rabid bunnies
from one booth to the other. If it all gets too
dangerous, sit in a booth and read what the
vandals have written. Some people have no
couth.
We're almost through with the complete
EMU Workout. Now we come to the third
floor where the offices of GALA, Women's
Referral and Resource, Legal Services,
ESCAPE and the Daily Emerald are located.
Let's do some leg-lifts here. Ready, go.
Hasn't this been fun? There's so much
more to see in the EMU. Why don't we start
push-ups in the University Post Office.
Down. . .up.. .down.. .up.
That's 50 innit? Close enough. Let's hit
the stairs, sprint past the International Stu
dent Lounge and sprint through the
second-floor art gallery. Here's the
ballroom where you can do some kicks
1
from the beginning and do it all again?
Well, on second thought, let's go get some
Doritos and a diet soda.
Story by Cort Fernald
Photos by Mark Pynes
SHAPE-up courses available
Finding the discipline to exercise regularly is difficult for everybody.
Signing-up for a physical education activity course is one way to get motivated —
the grade and $20 fee makes a person more willing to jump out of bed and into the
swimming pool before the sun comes up.
However, the College of Human Development and Performance has an alter
native for those who need less motivation. It's called SHAPE.
The year-old Sport, Health And Personal Excellence program allows students to
"audit" activity courses for a fee.
Students take the class along with regular students, pay $20 for most classes and
receive no credit or grade for the class.
Communitv members may also sign up, usually for $25.
To sign up for the program, go to Gerlinger Hall, beginning today from 8 a.m. to
5 p.m., Monday through Friday.
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Can the University’s $30
Academic Speed Reading
Course be as good as the
$500 Commercial Speed
Reading Course?
Yes... and better!
With so much reading required for school, how can you
afford not to take a reading improvement course? How
can you afford not to take ours? New workshops begin
in February. For more Information contact
The Learning Resources Center
5 Friendly Hall; 686-3226
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