Coffins, cremation 6 curiosity
Wnere s a nice clean cotnn
when you need one?
"We re going to have a
dress-up Halloween party, and
we want to provide atmosphere
with it," sighs Eugenean Steve
Conrad But after phoning his
friend Ron Gates, a local mor
tician, he learned "there's no
such thing as a demo model or a
loaner.”
Gates says it's common this
time of year for people to call
and ask to borrow coffins for
Halloween pranks It's that time
of year when people can adopt a
relaxed attitude about death
and still be within the confines
of good taste
While he sees the humor of
his profession, Gates, who is
employed by England's Eugene
Memorial Chapel, takes a more
reverent view of the subject
With a degree in mortuary
science, a license as an
embalmer and a position as
funeral director, Gates says
that, like a doctor, clergyman or
lawyer, he performs a public
service
So, if you’re giving or
attending that special
Halloween party, you may want
to know a little more about
death and dying for authentici
ty's sake Here are some in
sight* from Gates’ career:
^ art of the attraction was
curiosity,” says Gates,
of his career choice
"It’s not as morbid as people
think Handling the dead human
body is only a small part of the
job Helping people gives a lot of
satisfaction People come back
and thank you for helping them
through a difficult time
"When I was serving my
apprenticeship, me and another
mortician were out one night I
was out there dancing with this
girl I asked her what she did
She said she was a secretary
Then she asked me what I did,
and when I told her I was a mor
tician, she tensed right up and
almost stopped dancing
Mortician Ron Gates says his profession is “not as morbid as people think." He spends more time helping and educating the
widows, widowers and families through their grief
Backed away from me When
the song was over she was
gone My friend said, don't tell
them you're a mortician Tell
them you're a bookkeeper or an
attorney or something.’
"I would like people to know
that I’m here to help, and that I
care I'm one of the guys with a
white hat and not a black hat
Some of the families that come
in are on edge They're
skeptical. They think we’re here
to take their money and not give
them anything in return But
once the service is over, they
usually thank us for making it
easier on them One of the
things that keeps us going is the
letters that come in thanking us
for our patience and understan
ding
ith a widow or widower,
we try to be sympathe
tic to a point To be
courteous We answer que
stions Try not to hide anything
from them Try to be helpful
“When we re helping families,
some of them are pretty upset
We can’t let ourselves get
caught up in it We don’t sit
down and talk to families for
seven or eight hours straight
We take turns, so no one funeral
director is overburdened with
that kind of job
“Most people fear things they
don’t know about Most people
rinn't know mur.h ahrmt Hoath
lot of people expect to pay
$5,000 to have a traditional
funera, and are really amazed
that it only costs $1,500 or
$1,600 or $1,700
"There's always a few people
that are gonna complain about
the cost Usually the families
that are paying next to nothing
are the most demanding Of
course, we have to allow for
their emotions They're going
through a stage of grief We
hto uuatrh 'om anH ho euro
It’s 170 lbs of
great pumpkin
Talk about "great pumpkins" —
check out this 170-pound, grinning
Jack-o-lantern on display at Jo Federigos
Restaurant
Chef David Kuanbeck persuaded the
produce man to leave the bright-orange
pumpkin behind tor Halloween
But don't expect to see pie on the
restaurant's menu Jo Federigo s special
ises in Italian food.
Once they learn about it, they
realize there's nothing to be
afraid of One of our goals here
is to educate people about the
process
"A lot of people can't accept it
and put off making funeral
arrangements As funeral direc
tors we accept it a lot better But
it's still difficult when it happens
in our own families No one can
truly prepare themselves for
that kind of loss
A fellow came in once whose
wife was killed in a car accident
The first thing I did was mis
pronounce his name He got
angry and raised his voice at
me I told him he was |ust going
through a stage of grief, that he
was getting angry because ol
that You tell em it's normal to
feel anger, grief and so on. and
it helps them understand it
After the funeral was over he
thanked me for helping him deal
with his emotions
***~\ ne fella after a funeral
asked me whether I
was going to lower the
casket or if I was going to take
her out of there and resell the
casket How many times has an
undertaker been accused of
reselling a casket? I was so
shocked he asked me I told him
he was welcome to watch it
being lowered So he did
"If it was a rip-off, the people
would be saying afterward.
Hey. I've been had But they
don't They thank us And they
come back a second time It
doesn't have to be expensive A
their decisions are reasonable
"More and more people are
making arrangements before
they die In fact they're paying
for it ahead of time Part of it is
growing public awareness
about death Part of it is they
don't want their family to be
burdened with those decisions
when it happens
• «l^v ifterent people accept
I # death differently Some
people can't stand the
thought of being buried in the
ground Others can't stand the
thought of being burned
Cremated, I should say The
cremation rate is on the ups
wing Probably up to 35 percent
get cremated Eight, nine years
ago It was about three percent
Tve had people say. how can
you stand to embalm and
cremate people all the time? I
talked to a group of grammar
school kids at a career day at a
school in Corvallis After class I
asked how many wanted to be
morticians A couple kids raised
their hand But one kid said,
how could you stand that, don't
you worry about your public
image?' I asked him what he
wanted to do He said he wanted
to be a politician I said, and
you think I should be worried
about my public image?’ "
Story by Randy Malat
Photo by Bob Baker