of censors Most video disc pressing is
done in Japan (Japanese pressing
plants are like hospitals. Their Ameri
can equivalents are generally more
like slaughterhouses). Officials in the
Land of the Rising Sun have refused to
allow even such non-sexy fare as First
Monday m October, Serptco and £s
cape from Alcatraz to be made. No
such problem for tapes, which can be
more crudely manufactured — it's es
unrated that half of all pre-recorded
video tapes sold are pornographic. Or
as Zippy the Pinhead likes to say, por
nograbbic. Pioneer is about to start
pressing videodiscs at a plant in Car
son, California, so America can soon
choose whether to catch Debbie Does
Dallas on platter or cassette.
The Tube
The paper chase, which re-ran nicely
on res last year, will reappear —
on Showtime. Once again, we re being
promised new episodes. We won t
hold our breath, but we’ll be eternally
grateful
A four-hour mini series of Little
Gloria, Happy at Last will appear
on NBC starring Bette Davis as Alice
Gwynne Vanderbilt and Angela
Lansbury as Gertrude Vanderbilt Whit
ney, grandmother and aunt of Gloria
(now the jeans queen), who fought for
custody of the little girl back in the
Thirties
Action Flicks
Sean connery is still promising to re
turn to the screen as James Bond
(and about time, whom does Roger
Moore think he's kidding?) in
Warhead. an original script, it will
nevertheless hew closely to the origi
nal Fleming character.
The road warrior (see Summer
Movie Guide this issue) turns out
to be the sequel to Mad Max, directed
by Australian George Miller The first
of the two was said by some to be so
action-packed "It made Raiders of the
Lost Ark lot* like an Ingmar Bergman
film.” This gave rise to the rumor that
Miller will direct Raiders // (he won t,
Spielberg claims he’ll do it), and to the
unconfirmed rumor that Connery
wants Miller to direct the above
mentioned Warhead
QN gCREEN
Conan the Barbarian
starring Arnold Schuarzenegger, San
dahl Bergman, James Earl Jones, writ
ten by John Milius and Oliver Stone
directed by Milius
rhe Wintl and the Lion, also written
and directed by John Milius, is one
of my all-time favorite romantic adven
tures when Sean Conners- lifts Candice
Bergen onto his horse and rides off
with her, after vanquishing the
threatening horde heartstopping
There aren't many such images to fire
female (or male) fantasies these days
And there are none in Conan
Schwarzenegger looks perfect as the
pulp heroic Sumerian hulk (he han
dles a sword with authority and his oc
casional sly smile betrays an intelli
gence behind the muscle), but there is
no sense of the mythic about him, no
suggestion of the fantastic Even less
about the others Jones, as the evil
Thulsa Doom, fust stares into the cam
era intently, while Bergman (a nimble
sword wieider herself) has a startling
American accent and vernacular Noth
ing seems real, but there Is no sense of
otherworldliness either The elaborate
temples look phony, the battles are
unconvincing (swords miss by inches),
and the zillions of Doom's followers
seem to pop out of the earth, existing
on mxhing in the middle of nowhere
— jast like the fanes defenses (aman
constructs while waiting ta vers long
time) for Doom's arms Where did he
get all those sticks, when there were
no trees for miles'' (I ktittu it's a tan
tasy. but even Walt Disney would have
given as a crumb to nibble, like "the
wind brought as the sticks or some
thing equally silly but logical I don t
ask for much, but I do expect hp ser
vice to logic, however bizarre the
lope)
It's not that Conan is a waste of
time, it s good mindless, violent fun —
but it lias no challenge, no mystery I
expected Milias to give as at least two
dimensions Perhaps he'll do better
with the promised sequel
Judith Sims
tJ in**.
Victor/Victoria
starring Julie Andrews, James Gamer
at id Kohert Preston, written by HUtite
Eduards, /traduced by Edwards and
Tony Adams, directed b\ Edwards
It ls Paris, 193V You can tell this be
cause the shops and cafes have
French names and the actors speak ze
English with ze French accent Victoria
— a hard luck case wtio hasn't had a
det cm meal in days and who can't get
a |ob in a cabaret even though she
happens to sing exactly like Julie An
drews — finally lands employment in
the guise of Victor, a Polish count
whom everybody believes to be a
female impersonator Since Parisians
— and especially gav Parisians — are
vers big on transvestites who sing like
Julie .Andrews and who look like Julie
Andrews with a boy s haircut, Victor
soon liecomes the toast of the town
Victor/Victoria's meteoric rise to
tame and fortune comes at the hand of
several remarkably implausible coin
eidences a chance encounter with a
cockroach, a sudden rainstorm that
shrinks Victoria's clothing half its size
and the sudden brainstorm of a gay
Good Samaritan named Toddy who
happens to look and sing exactly like
Robert Preston.
So enter King Mar chan, a Chicago
club owner/gangster-type who hap
pens to look exactly like James Gamer
with a Clark Gable moustache. Of
course, he falls head over heels for
Victor/Victoria and Is convinced that
she’s really a woman because there’s
no way he could fall in love with an
other (gulp) guy
If all this sounds incredibly stupid, it
Is Based on a 1933 German movie, Vik
tor und Viktoria, Blake Edwards' re
make Is an embarrassment. Even Ed
wards' flair for visual comedy, which
he worked to near mastery with Peter
Sellers in the Pink Panther films, Is
here almost nonexistent.
If your idea erf a gtxxl time is to lis
ten to an endless succession of very
polite but not terribly amusing jokes
about homosexuals and to watch
coundess table-throwing, cake-in-the
1
face restaurant melees, then hurry off
to see Victor/Victoria
Steven X. Rea
Cat People
starring Nastassia Kinski, Malcolm
McDowell and John Heard, written
by Alan Orrnsby, directed by Paid
Schrader
In 1942, Val Lewton, a producer with
very little money and a great deal of
imagination, made Cat People, a B
movie that has since gone on to cult
status Now Cat People is a remake, a
costly remake, full of costly mistakes.
While it's far more psychologically
complex than its inspiration, this up
date defeats itself at every turn with
muddled writing, pretentious direction
and ludicrous plotting.
Director Paul Schrader (writer of
Taxi Driver and The Yakuza and di
rector erf American Gigolo) ought to
have been perfectly suited to the mate
rial By his own admission he’s fairly
obsessed by Big Themes: God, moral
ity, guilt, sex. Cat People is awash in
notions of beast and man, salvation
and lust, sex and animalism, but the
movie doesn’t so much grapple with
these themes as paw through them.
The setting is New Orleans, and Nas
tassia Kinski plays an exotic young
woman who is reunited after many
years with her pre^fher brother
(McDowell). Things are pretty weird
right off, but Kinski doesn’t seem con
cerned, not even after McDowell dis
appears for days on end without ex
planation. Kinski just trots off on a tour
of the city. Naturally she’s drawn to the
zoo, and naturally she’s drawn to the
zoologist played by John Heard.
But love or sex isn’t for McDowell
and Kinski It turns their, into cats who
must kill to become human again. In a
ridiculous dream sequence that opens
the movie, designed by Ferdinando
Scarfiotti (Schrader's collaborator on
American Gigolo), we learn more than
we ever wanted to know about the
special relationship between leopards
and humans.
Cat People has some startling im
ages and an ending that’s as haunting
as any in a horror film, but Schrader
subverts the power of his material with
bad storytelling. Ultimately horror
films have to play into our dreams, and
although Schrader’s come up with
three or four strong moments, he can't
sustain the illusions.
The movie is also very bloody and
contains some misguided special ef
fects that seem left over from An Amer
ican Werewolf in London. Cat People
has been sadly declawed.
Jacoba Atlas
I Oughta Be in Pictures
starring Dinah Manoff, Walter
Matthau, Ann-Margret; directed by
Herbert Ross; written by Neil Simon
Neil Simon does it again. And again.
And again. And again. Dinah
Manoff plays Libby Tucker, a bright
and irresistible teenager who travels
all the way from New York to Los
Angeles to visit the man she hates
most: Walter Matthau as gruff and
stubborn Herbie Tucker who can’t
have relationships, and would rather
gamble his money at the races than his
ideas at the studio. And Ann-Margret
has big breasts.
Together, father and daughter fight
and joke (he gruff, stubborn; she
bright, irresistible) until he cries, she
cries, they hug. Marsha Mason, I mean
Ann-Margret, interrupts the feisty yet
loving relationship by begging dumpy,
grumpy Richard Dreyfuss, 1 mean Wal
ter Matthau, to make a commitment.
Simon’s spontaneous repartee is not
so spontaneous.
The formula works as most formulas
do, but one becomes resistant to the
coldness of this Broadway-put-on-film
cardboard cutout. As a small film, /
Ougtba Be m Pictures could have been
wonderful—it has nice visual tone and
talented acting, but every nice scene
has to end with a punchline, as if once
the film gets good, we might forget
who wrote it
Who ought to be in pictures? I don’t
know. I only know who ought not to
be.
Jody Eve Grant
MAKE FUN LESS WORK.
If you dorft like the song the Pioneer SK-600
Personal Stereo is playing, no problem. With new
Music Search your Pioneer will search, either forward
or backward, stopping and playing at the beginning
of a song so you can find the exact one you want.
And unlike other stereos, you can switch from
tape to radio or from radio to tape with the push of
a single button.
With Pioneer Personal Stereos you and your
fingers don’t have to stand there pushing button
after button.
You can all go off and have fun.
i iiiiiiiiMiiiwwiiwtWii
©1982 Pioneer Electronics (USA) Inc., P.O. Box 1540, Long Beach, CA 90801.
(ID PIONEER'
We never miss a performance.