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ights flash — needies rebound on audio-level
dials Dan Clark frantically adjusts knobs,
cues a record on one of the pair of turntables,
and flips on a microphone as the sound of the
Marshall Tucker Band fades
In rushes a spindly gray-haired Granny who knocks
dozing Dave Kanner upside the head with her beaded
black purse Kanner cringes under the onslaught
Meanwhile. Hardly Worthit circles Eugene in a
helicopter, announcing his amazement at all the cars
down there, and gunning for the competition's eye in
the sky
And somewhere on this planet intrepid newsman
Joe Mama is interviewing a wtno who at one time was
married to the sister of Alexander Haig s sixth grade
English teacher
Sounds like psychodrama — or at best a play that
could only be titled Drive-time FM Rock Radio as
Performed by the Inmates of the Oregon State Mental
Hospital for the Chronically Strange
This is a fairly typical morning show for Clark and
Dave Kanner on Eugene's nonpareil KZEL-FM
Kanner is the news director for KZEL and KBDF
AM. KZELs sister station Kanner has been at KZEL
since August 1980. when the station management
noted his obvious talent" and hired him Born and
raised in New York City a 1976 graduate of Carnagie
Mellon Institute with a communications degree. Kanner
has mostly derisive memories of his past radio exper
ience.
He broke into radio at a station in Bel Aire. Ohio and
burned-out" after stints in Charlottesville and
"Fayette-Nam,” N C . which Kanner says he hated
Clark is new to Eugene and KZEL. having arrived
from KREM in Spokane. Wash, five months ago Clark
has had the difficult job of replacing Johnny Young, a
- longtime KZEL fixture who went to KZAP in Sacramen
to, Calif.
But in the five weeks Clark has been on the air,
listeners have come to accept his particular weirdness
Recent ratings show KZEL's morning share and
cumulative ratings of the Eugene audience significantly
up.
Kanner and Clark file another day’s tape.
Dave Kanner (left). KZEL s news director, and Dan Clark prepare for a newscast and. below, relax in the station 's
record library.
7 he characters Granny Whipswitch Hardly
Worthit. and Joe Mama, the Megaphone
Newsreel, Punt Counterpunt, and a rather
fractured Horoscope reading are features that
have made Clark and Kanner s morning show
Breakfast with the Beatles' a local hit
Kanner does many of the voices of the characters
and has a particular fondness for some "I guess you
can say Joe Mama represents my alter-ego, he says
Characters such as Whipswitch are thought out in
advance, but developed on the air Clark and Kanner
write the entire show a day in advance Clark writes
much of the material at night
But the most important thing is the music ” Clark
says. “Nobody wants to hear us yak ”
The telephone line lights up and a slurry-voiced
caller says, “Hey man, could you play AC DC’s For
Those About to Rock?'
“We ll try." Clark replies
“Hey later on man. the caller says
KZEL relies on a play list of the top groups and
albums compiled by a service in Atlanta, Georgia They
use the Abrams format which maintains a list of some
300 tracks to be aired KZEL. as older listeners recall
used to be more “free form FM rock, with a more
spontaneous musical selection
The Abrams format is an attempt to structure Clark
says The tree-form style is not homogenous through
out the day
Clark slips on headphones and Kanner disappears
into an adjacent studio as the Byrds’ Eight Miles High
ends
"Classic Byrds — Eight Miles High, that's pretty
high It's 9 17 and if you want to know your horoscope
for today give us a call." Clark says
He plugs in two commercials as the phone lines
light up
"KZEL, ’ Clark answers "You want to know your
horoscope? What's your name? Tina Hold on, Tina,
until the commercials are over "
While the commercials are running Clark is leaping
up to the rows of records, shelving those already
played selecting another bunch "Are you still there,
Tina?” he calls to the speaker-phone She answers yes,
shyly Clark settles back on his stool and cues an album
track and the morning featured artist — Van Halen
“Okay we have Tina on the line and she wants
to hear her horoscope When’s your birthday?" Tina’s a
Gemini.
“Once in a lifetime planetary influences mean you
shouldn't kiss anything with lockjaw," Clark reads from
a script
There's a moment of silence — then Tina laughes
“I don't have any trouble writing material. " Clark says
off the air. “I'm pretty weird sometimes “
Kanner wears a button that illustrates the way both
feel about the morning show
"I am the person your mother warned you about
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