RENNIE’S
LANDING
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asS»*“
ARTIST'S
MARKET
ALL
FINE ART BOOKS
in the Book Department
REDUCED 20%
February 1-6
Limited to stock on hand
Cash register sales only
Textbooks 666-3520 • General Books
uo
BOOKSTORE
3510 • Supplies 665-4031
1 3tti & Kincaid
Mon-Fn 8 15-5:30
Sat 10:00-3:00
emerald
platform
gabriel boehmer
editor's note
More than one person has
told me that I don't get enough
sleep, regular meals or exer
cise. and that I'm too thin.
As if that's not enough, now
the Academic Standards Com
mittee tells me I have another
inadequacy — academic
deficiency In other words, I was
academically disqualified fall
term Flunked out, in the ver
nacular
To my great disappointment,
academic deficiency is not a
problem that can be corrected
by taking vitamins Although it is
an inadequacy that will keep
you out of classes for awhile
So while most of my senior
classmates are looking for ways
to to get out of the University as
quickly as possible, I'm looking
for ways to get back in
For the benefit of those who
would like to know, "How can I
get academically disqualified
too?" I have compiled the fol
lowing guidelines:
Reading is particulary inef
fective with the book closed,
especially while you are using it
as a cocktail napkin at a local
bar
Sleeping is impossible with
your eyes open Being a prer
equisite for staying awake while
you’re eyes are open, sleep
should be taken periodically in
small doses
If you choose to postpone
sleeping until after college.
remember that naps are not ap
propriate while driving an au
tomobile. Although being as
leep at the wheel may not be in
violation of any statute in par
ticular, it fails to serve as an aiitA
for running red lights or collid
ing head-on with other vehicles
Somewhere in your demand
ing schedule, keep in mind that
it is appropriate to shower and
change your clothes at least
once every two to three days
Not only does that ensure main
taining your health, it prevents
those close to you from becom
ing nauseous
Studies show that test taking
is significantly aided by study
ing Granted, the University of
Oregon has a less grueling
reputation for academics than
Harvard, you should still reserve
time at least on weekends for
maintaining satisfactory
academic progress
Telling a professor for the
third time in as many terms that
your mother died and so you will
need an extension on your re
search paper will not receive a
warm reception, nor will it work
Take an incomplete instead
Ignoring incompletes will not
make them go away
Trying to absorb nine weeks
of reading in one weekend
before a final examination is
indeed ambitious, but as realis
tic as asking God to intervine on
a parking ticket
c^Opening
February 2
5-7 pm
Exhibit Hours
Feb. 2-7
11 a.m.-6 p.m.
Rm. 167 EMU
EMU
Cultural Forum presents
A new exhibit of Northwest photographers
Taking courses in disciplines
other than your major is a noble
academic pursuit However,
taking chemistry for your own
knowledge and edification
when you've failed high school
algebra is inglorious
Attending weekend movies in
lecture halls instead of classes
is entertaining, but watching
The Black Stallion will not sub
stitute for a jecture in marine
biology
Classes are a more efficient
learning tool when you attend
the ones you have in fact regis
tered for A calendar, outlining
class times and locations, is a
helpful guide to attending
classes on appropriate days,
such as days on which exams
are given
If you have a part-time job.
you should not work voluntarily
at it full-time and especially not
all-the-time Working the
graveyard shift while attending
school is likely to put you in one
Parents are more likely to give
a student — who also happens
to be their child — financial
support when that student is
enrolled at a fully accredited
institution of higher learning
Neither the Excelsior Cafe nor
the Eugene Business College
fits that description
Finally, although working 40
or more hours a week and at
tending school demonstrates
great industry, it also is indica
tive of an even greater lack of
marbles The combination likely
could cause a more disastrous
effect than mixing Mexican food
and beer, anu both will probably
lead to stomach trouble
TEETH
Ignore them
and they will
go away
Teeth Cleaning
and Exam $25
Will Mornmgsun D.D.S.
Thomas R. Huhn D.D.S.
call for appointment
746-6517
1 Vi miles from campus next to
the Bike Path
528 Mill St. Springfield
Tha Oragon DaUy Emaraid Is pubdahad
Monday through Friday aacapt during
IlnaH mask and vacations by tha Oragon
Daily Emaraid Publishing Co.
Naan MS-55 7)
Advarhsing Business 696-3712
CtasaMads 696-4343
Production 696-4391
P
2
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