SOCIAL STUDIES
by Fran Lebowitz
(Random House, $9.95)
After the success of Me
tropolitan Life — Fran
Lebowitz's first collection of
essays that pokes fun at New
York City's denizens — the
author's Literary Agent thought
he had unearthed a hot potato
Consequently, Literary Agent
apparently negotiated a deal for
Ms Lebowitz's second book
before a single word had been
written At all Not one page
That was a mistake
Her second collection of
twenty-six essays, Social
Studies, indicates that either
Ms Lebowitz — Greenwich
Village s Erma Bombeck — ran
out of targets in New York City,
or she waited until the night
before her manuscript was due
to plug in her typewriter Or
maybe she should move
Social Studies also indicates
that a book should never be
judged by its back cover —
where all the critic's laudatory
remarks are etched in stone
A Los Angeles Times critic
described her writing as brim
ming with "fresh and arresting
observations about the most
exhausted topics " But it
appears that Ms Lebowitz has
exhausted her arsenal of me
tropolitan jibes
Another critic from the San
Diego Union hailed Ms
Lebowitz as, An original voice
(who) has just arrived from the
East an advent for which I am
immoderatley grateful " I, for
one, would be grateful if her
voice would board the next
Eastbound flight
And the New York Times
Book Review said of 147-page
assortment of puns, There is
character here as well as per
sonality " Again, I must disa
gree with the critics and assert
that I was in search of neither
character or personality, but
laughs
But why try to describe Ms
Lebowitz's literary foibles when
you can read the real thing? A
few examples
TIPS FOR TEENS
Should your political
opinions be at extreme variance
with those of your parents, keep
in mind that while it is indeed
your constitutional right to ex
press these sentiments verbally,
it is unseemly to do so with your
mouth full—particularly when it
is fuli of the opressor's standing
rib roast "
POINTERS FOR PETS
"Dogs who earn their living by
appearing in television com
mercials in which they
constantly and aggressively
demand meat should remember
that in at least one Far Eastern
country they are meat "
TRAVEL HINTS
"Under no circumstances
order from room service an item
entitled The Cheese Festival’
unless you are prepared to have
your dream of colorfully cos
tumed girls of all nations rolling
enormous wheels of Gruyere
and Jarlsberg replaced by three
Kraft slices and a lot of tooth
picks dressed in red cellophane
hats."
WAR STORIES
"War is, undoubtedly, hell,
but there is no earthly reason
why it has to start so early in the
morning Writers, on the whole,
find it difficult to work during the
day; it is far too distracting The
writer is an artist, a creative
person he needs time to think,
to read, to ruminate Ruminat
ing in particular is not compati
ble with reveille Instead, next to
each (double) bed in the
Writers' Barracks should be a
night table minimally equipped
with an ashtray a refreshing
drink, a good reading lamp and
a telephone Promptly at 1 30
p m the phone may ring and a
pleasant person with a soft
voice may transmit the wake-up
call "
After reading this cross-sec
Fran Lebowltz
ion of Ms Lebowitz biting
social commentary, the selec
ive reader should be able to
Jiscern between spending his
time reading Social Studies or
sinking his teeth into something
worthwhile.
by gabriel boehmer
Albert s Hosiery...
IfiVftl
m
‘Guide’strange,but funny
THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE
TO THE GALAXY
Douglas Adams
(Pocket Books, S2.50)
Arthur Dent had the "worst
Thursday that ever happened"
first, his house was in danger of
being torn down to make room
for a new freeway Second, the
world was destroyed to make
room for a new intergalactic
hyperspatial express route
Sound strange7 It is, but it's
also incredibly funny The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
is the printed form of the radio
series that took Britain by storm
last year, and is now being
heard in America (KWAX has it
on Saturday evenings)
It's totally absurd, absolutely
silly in places, and merely witty
in others The two main
characters are Arthur Dent, a
poor guy who's kind of shook up
when his planet is destroyed,
and Ford Prefect, a writer from
Betelgeuse who got stuck on
earth while researching a
chapter of the real ' Hitchhiker's
Guide ," a volume so large that is
only sold in microcomputer
form
Prefect saves Dent from des
truction. and the rest of the
book documents their travels
around the galaxy They are
captured by Vogons, who tor
ment their prisoners by reading
their unmentionably horrible
poetry to them After escaping,
they bump into Zaphod Beeble
brox, the President of the Im
perial Galactic Government,
who has just stolen .the brand
new spacecraft which goes
across the universe in a noth
ingth of a second In the
process, it often spontaneously
creates sperm whales, huge
masses of fried eggs, and occa
sional groups of market
analysts
The book is fantastic if you're
into science fiction and Monty
Python, but could be pretty
dismal if you're just looking for
something to browse through
while waiting for your nails to
dry Adams is very witty, but
almost too absurd at times for
the story to make any sense He
has a way of skipping around
that is creative, but often
distracting
If you think you’d be bored by
Marvin the depressed robot, the
discovery that the Earth was
created by mice as a complex
experiment to determine the Ul
timate Question (they'd already
found the answer 42) and the
reason why a towel is about the
most useful thing you can have,
don’t read the book But if you
have a free evening and want to
get into a totally silly mood,
don't miss The Hitchhiker's
Guide to the Galaxy
complete line of Danskin leotards and tights.
Albert's Hosiery - Valley River Center
Weekdays 10-9:00 p.m. Saturday 10-6:00 Sunday 12-5:00
Duffy’s brings back
the 50* glass of beer.
At Duffy’s
we remember
the good ol’ days,
and just to prove it
we’ve brought back the
50c glass of beer. That’s right, a cold
refreshing glass of Pabst is just 50c
every day of the week. So drop in
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Duffy’S Corner of 13th and Alder
Dana 1 Cartian