emerald
Vol 83, No 5
Eugene, Oregon, 97403
Tuesday, July 7, 1981
I
A formation of Bissel carpet sweepers — believed to be Arlesians — were
discovered in a vacant office on campus Thursday morning
Artesians
sweep through
housing offices
By ANN PORTAL
Of th* Emerald
Arlesians invaded the University
Thursday and made a clean sweep of
the housing department
But the Artesians — legendary
inhabitants of the Olympia Brewery in
Tumwater, Wash — appeared
harmless and made no demands of
housing personnel, according to
housing director Dan Williams.
When department secretaries
arrived at work Thursday, they were
surprised to find about 30 of the
reclusive aliens stationed throughout
the housing offices, each with a 3x5
card containing a message
But they were most surprised by the
appearance of the Artesians, who
never have been seen outside the
brewery before Curiously, the
Artesians look a lot like Bissell carpet
sweepers
And Williams said that's quite a
coincidence, considering that before
Thursday there were 100 surplus
Bissell sweepers stored in a dormitory
basement.
The housing staff first realized the
sweepers actually were Artesians
when they found a message on one of
the sweepers saying, “We re really
Artesians
Other messages confused the
identification, however, by labeling the
sweepers as Bissells
But Williams said the shy sweepers
really may be Artesians
"I don't know that for a fact — the
Bissells are very quiet,” he said
The Bissells carry a variety of
messages, mostly identifying
themselves
Stationed on top of file cabinets
labeled "top secret” by one Bissell are
two others tagged Woodward Bissell
and Bernstein Bissell.
In a vacant office, a wedge
formation of Bissells wearing paper
hats announced a re-creation of the
“Charge of the Bissell Light Brigade.”
One sweeper-like Artesian carries
the command to “Bissell while you
work."
In a board room, two Bissells
standing at attention have a badge
"Bissell honor guard "
A "Bissell applicant” sits on a chair
outside Williams' office door and a
"Bissell recluse” is tucked in the back
corner of a storage room
Williams said he has no idea how the
Bissells got into the housing offices,
but he did admit that the placement of
one inside a locked display cabinet
may indicate a staff member conspired
with the Artesian-Bissells.
The Artesians may have smelled
beer and come to Eugene for the July
4 weekend, but Williams said he
expected them to leave when the
festivities are over.
"I think they'll probably disappear
over the weekend if they know what’s
good for them.”
Former quarterback wins acquittal
By SALLY HODGKINSON
Of t*Mi tnwiM
Former University quarterback An
drew Paige was acquitted of attempted
rape and sexual abuse charges by a
Lane County Circuit jury Thursday
Paige, flanked by his two attorneys,
said, "I can't wait to get back'’ to his
home in Hawaii When Paige was asked
who he was going to tell the news to first,
one of his attorneys said "His mother
Paige echoed. "Yeah, my mother "
The seven-woman, five-man jury spent
just 90 minutes deliberating before find
ing Paige not guilty of first-degree at
tempted rape and first-degree sexual
abuse
"There was reasonable doubt" about
Paige s guilt, one juror said, adding that
the verdict was unanimous.
According to testimony from the al
leged victim, she met Paige at a party in
his home July 21, I979 After smoking
marijuana in his bedrooom. she said the
two began looking through a yearbook
The woman, a former University student,
said she became frightened when she
heard Paige's full name, because some
friends told her Paige had tried to rape
them
When she suggested, "let's go dance"
and tried to leave the room, the woman
said Paige grabbed her around the waist,
shoved her on the bed and tried to rape
her
Paige testified that the woman re
sponded to his sexual advances and
allowed him to pull her underwear down
to her knees But the woman became
"paranoid" and began crying and shak
ing after he took her underwear com
pletely off, he said Until then, the woman
never indicated to him she wasn't willing,
Paige said
During closing arguments for the six
day trial, prosecuting attorney Darryl
Larsen told jurors the only real issue left
in the case was that of "forcible compul
sion"
Even Paige admitted the woman was
crying and shaking, Larsen said. "Does
this suggest she was a consenting,
willing partner?"
The woman didn't put up a strong
physical fight because she was scared,
Larsen said, adding that the 95-pound
woman "didn't have a prayer” against
200-pound Paige
"Paige's body, to that woman, was a
weapon Consent produced by fear is not
consent."
Defense attorney Milton Grimes said
the woman fabricated the attempted
rape story to get the attention of a former
boyfriend who was at the party.
"Her imagination is pretty good This
whole case is her imagination,” he told
the jury
The woman was being ‘‘forward" by
going into Paige's bedroom to smoke
marijuana, Grimes said ‘‘She put herslf
in a position where it was logical for
Andrew Paige to expect she was there
for something else
‘‘She did nothing but encourage this
young man.’’
When the woman suggested she and
Paige go dance, she was “playing hard
to get," Grimes said
"Every red-blooded male knows that's
a proper interpretation of her actions ”
Larsen said the woman, not Paige, was
actually on trial “The victim is always on
trial in a sex case But what can she hope
to gain by dragging herself through the
mud again?"
After the verdict, Paige said he was
anxious to return to the University of
Hawaii and resume training for the fall
football season But Paige will be back in
the Lane County courts this summer to
face other charges including sodomy,
coercion, attempted sodomy and two
counts of first degree burglary.