opinion_
I bill manny
even editors get the blues
In the beginning was the word, sayeth the
gospel, and the word was with God, and the word
was God.
But after a whileth, He saw his regular word
was not enough. And so God looked upon all he
had created and spaketh, ‘Leteth there be acron
yms.’
The language hasn’t been the same since.
We all have pet peeves, and mine are twisted
and perverted acronyms and those who twist and
pervert them. I’m acrophobic. I cower any time I
see a word written in all capital letters.
But it’s become a hobby for a lot of bored folks
who like creating words from the initial letters of a
name.
I see no party more guilty in the proliferation
of tacky acronyms than the National Aeronautics
and Space Administration (NASA).
Now, mind you, there's nothing wrong with
NASA, a name that captured a generation with
stars in its eyes. It’s a name that characterized a
period when Americans were convinced America
was great. A name that launched thousands of
tacky imitators.
And so they came. NATO, SALT, LEM, WAC,
IHAP, NOW and MUSE. Right here in Eugene are
CALC, SWAPO, SNuFF, SWAPO, ACT, BALSA,
OSPIRG, MEChA and SWIG.
Muhammad Ali’s WORLD and Rev. Jesse
Jackson's PUSH can be forgiven. These philanth
ropists got carried away with their lofty plans.
But then there’s campus's ESCAPE: Every
Student Caring About Personalized Education
(not really Easy Student Credit Available for Phy
sical Education majors, as some contend.) And
don’t forget SEARCH, a most odious offender:
Students’ Exploratory Action Regarding Cur
ricular Heterodoxy. Hard to beat that one.
There are some that make you cringe. Like
SOS — Save Our ecoSystems (not the shit on
shingles of miltary chow fame). It’s a worthy
cause, all right. But SOS treats the language much
like the herbicide sprayers treat the forests.
ALERT, a campus group that helps han
dicapped students, changed its name this year.
Now it’s — you got it — the Physically Limited
Union of Students (PLUS).
Remember Graham Kerr, the Galloping
Gourmet? He's found Jesus now and devotes
himself full-time to world hunger. Again, a noble
commitment. The name? Project LORD (LOng
Range Development for the world). Go ahead,
figure that one out.
There’s also a community group called MAR
HABA. The word is Arabic for hello, an innocuous
enough name. But the best the group could do to
fit its chosen name was Middle-eastern American
Relations Helping Americans Become Aware.
Nice try, though.
What if today's acronym-crazed attitude had
prevailed in the first half of the century? J. Edgar
Hoover might have headed the Federal Investiga
tory Bureau (appropriately known as FIB), and the
Bay of Pigs may have been the work of the AIC
(pronounced ace, of course), not the CIA. The
EPA might have gone APE, the FDA FAD and HEW
WHEN (Welfare, Health and EducatioN).
Perhaps no better example exists of acronym
mania than the Lane County group PEACE.
Evidently wanting to conjure up images of the
bygone '60s "awareness,” the group chose the
word that best reflects that decade. But People
Effectively Appealing for Cannibis Equality
(whuh?) is a tacky and senseless name for what is
morally and economically a legitimate cause.
How about naming the group People Ap
pealing for Legalized Marijuana (PALM)? That
way, the group could hold regular "PALM Sun
day” smoke-ins.
Or even better, the group could update its
look. Leave behind the '60s and embrace the new
wave, punk image of the '80s. I can see it now, a
whole gang of "Spaced-out Potheads Appealing
for Marijuana.”
And we could call it — yes! — "SPAM”
Unresponsive IFC
Total student control of incidental
fees. This is an idea we’ve heard a lot of
lately To students this principle sounds
good But what exactly does student
control mean?
For example, recently Jon Niederbach,
chairer of the IFC, proposed a plan by
which IFC daycare subsidies would go
directly to student parents Student par
ents who use the three University af
filiated daycare centers had concerns
over how this plan would affect the
University daycare programs. Meetings
were held, and it was agreed that, though
Jon had raised some legitimate issues,
his plan to address these issues would
have severe repercussions for the
University daycare programs. In the
meantime, the EMU Board Budget Com
mittee rejected the proposal by a 7-3
vote.
Jon then brought his proposal to the
IFC hearing on the EMU budget. For over
two hours, the IFC listened to student
parents arguing against the proposal.
Again it was agreed that Jon had raised
some legitimate issues, but not one sin
gle parent spoke in favor of his plan to
deal with these issues.
The IFC passed Jon’s proposal unan
imously.
STUDENTS from the University-af
filiated daycare facilities TOOK CON
TROL of a situation that concerned
them They organized to oppose Jon
Niederbach’s proposal. The only
students who appeared to have been in
favor of this proposal were the students
on the IFC. The IFC was not responsive
to the concerns of the students who
expressed opposition to Jon's plan Is
this what student control of incidental
fees means? Are some students more
equal than others? Until students have
some real assurance that the IFC will
respond to their concerns, students will
not have control of incidental fees, ad
ministrative veto or not.
Jon Kauffman
Member, EMU childcare center
Parent advisory group
Employees, unite!
Do you fully appreciate those who
sweep your classrooms, pick up after
you, feed you, clothe you, balance the
budget in your department while making
you feel at home in it? These people are
not the department heads nor the
University Administration. They are the
classified employees, without whom the
University could not run smoothly, if it
could run at all.
Collective bargaining negotiations are
now taking place between the man
agement team for higher education in
Oregon and Oregon Public Employees
Union (OPEU) representatives. Not sur
prisingly, management is exhibiting
strong unwillingness to uphold the ben
efits of the current contract, much less
address new proposals presented by the
workers.
About 1,200 classified workers on this
campus are represented by OPEU. Our
membership in the union is roughly 50
f
percent. It needs to be much higher in
order to exercise power in collective
bargaining. So, classified employees: if
you are not members, JOIN! To students
and faculty: keep in mind that faculty
salary increases are in part determined
by the salary increases attained by other
state workers, and support the OPEU
negotiations by encouraging classified
employees in your areas to take firm
strides in the endeavor to earn the mon
etary gains and respect that they de
serve.
Diane Higgins
Clerical worker
Russian program
Story neglected
We have worked on campus since
1967 as classified personnel. Up until
earlier this month, neither of us had been
union members. As a result of hearing
about the unbelievable contract nego
tiations going on, we have joined Oregon
Public Employees Union.
We think it is unfortunate that the
Emerald which obviously has many clas
sified readers has not dealt with inform
ing the campus of a potential problem
regarding the negotiations. The results
of the negotiations (or the lack of results)
will not only affect the classified person
nel but have major ramifications
anyone affiliated with the University.
We would hope that you consider the
possibility of running a story soon about
the contract negotiations and the prob
lems therein.
Suzie Prichard
Counseling & educational psychology
Toby Deemer
Graduate School
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UmD^»SIAnD.
'GOT TH£ IDEA? OK, MOW LETS SEE'iOU DO IT"