opinion
‘Warmonger’
Bad is when you stereotype an ethnic
group like women We all know that. So
now that warmongers have been slight
ed, I feel it is my duty to mobilize my
literary skills to counter what I fear to be a
sweeping and Hitlerian condemnation of
all warmongers.
In attacking James D. Miller, Paula
Barker lumped him with "others” whom
she referred to as "macho warmongers.”
Ms. Paula, how dare you imply that all
warmongers are in the same rank as Mr.
' Miller.
Warmongers, of which I count myself
as one, come in various shapes and
pillboxes. You can always distinguish a
psuedo warmonger from a real
warmonger: the psuedo warmonger is
passionately against Soviet expansion
ism in all its forms; the real warmonger
appreciates the Soviet moves as hostile
and, hence, war promoting. Superficial
warmongers will answer "World War II,
Pacific Theater” when asked what their
favorite war is. Worse than these are the
hypocrites who say they don’t like war
but then admit to a soft spot for the Third
Battle of Ypres or the Battle of Zama
The true warmonger likes all types of
war. Though he hopes for a heavy nu
clear exchange — the ideal — merely
reading about Northern Ireland should
cause him to ejaculate all over his morn
ing paper (especailly if he is all naked).
So, Ms. Paula, not all of us are alike. I
suppose you support gun control — the
first step on the road to the abolition of
war. I detect beneath your “reasonable”
argument against warmongering the
genocidal desire to totally obliterate the
race of warmongers entirely.
I am appalled at your insensitivity but I
shall pray for you — and for war —
anyway.
P S. You may say I’m a dreamer. I’m
not the only one.
Joe Sacco
Senior, journalism
Earthweek support
For the past eleven years, students of
the University of Oregon have
demonstrated an increasing awareness
of the importance of their national and
global environment. Earthday, first ob
served here in 1970, has now evolved
into Earthweek on this campus. The
Earthweek programs organized by the
Survival Center of the Erb Memorial
Union are designed to promote student
and public interest in environmental
concerns. The annual Millrace Cleanup
is an example of direct application of that
' CERTAINLY HE NEEtS DENTURES —YOU'VE LET HIM WATCH TOO MANY
SUGAR-RICH JUNK-FOOD TV COMMERCIALS /'
interest focused to a particular activity.
As a result of student work on the
Millrace, its environment has been im
proved each year.
The University of Oregon administra
tion is pleased to support the intent and
goals of Earthweek.
Ray Hawk, Vice President
Administration and Finance
Communist squirrels
Concerning the debate about campus
squirrels: I disagree with the Emerald’s
stand on the issue as expressed in the
April 16 edition. I have heard all those
bleeding heart liberal arguments in the
two letters from students the same day.
Has anyone ever considered the pos
sibility that those cute little furry rodents
could be communist infiltrators? Have
you ever heard a squirrel say a single
kind word about the good ole’ U S A.?
Ever see one drive an American car?
Know of any not on welfare?
You ask a squirrel any question about
baseball or ask it to recite the pledge of
allegiance and it scurries away — that’s
because it’s scared of being found out.
The other day I overheard two of them
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putting down our space shuttle program!
I’ve never seen a single one of them
salute our flag or sing along with the
national anthem! Arrogant is the word
alright; communist is the other word for
them. I’ve been following their
under-tree press (“Nuts To Capitalism”)
for years now. Very few people know
about their resistance movement run by
the Rodent Communist Youth Brigade.
Something must be done to stop these
commie squirrelies (weak, faggot-like
squirrels) or they might just take over our
campus some weekend when we re out
enjoying the sun (or at the coast). If it
succeeded, it would be a symbolic vic
tory and encouragement for squirrels
across the country. I would advise Gor
don Brown, the leader of the Coalition to
Stamp Out Squirrel Arrogance, to be
cautious and guard his nuts; there’s a
long fight ahead.
J.L. Jordan
Commltte To Stop
Squirrel Communism
Junior, sociology
More squirrels
Before we begin censuring and
defending supposedly dangerous squir
rels on this campus, it might be wise to
make an observation. The objectionable
variety of squirrel is the small brown
squirrel. This animal flourishes now be
cause of the park-like environment creat
ed for it on campuses and in towns like
this one. The great gray squirrel, which
survives in the wild, is rarely seen
anymore, though I do know of one big
grandaddy up in the cemetery.
Conversely, though the gray squirrel
rules the wilderness and forests of
Oregon, the campus-variety brown is not
found; the habitat is inhospitable to its
delicate nature. There is, however, in
addition to the magnificent gray, a tiny
dark-brown ground forager whose small
numbers betray the cruelty of the wild.
Taking this evidence into account, I
suggest that the campus-variety of
squirrel was imported by man into the
area, for whatever imagined nostalgic or
esthetic effects somebody dreamed up
however many years ago. For those of
you who don’t know the dangers of im
porting non-domestic animals into areas
not naturally their own, I’ll review the
startling problem. This common blue and
green mottled black bird was brought to
America by homesick Europeans and
now wreaks inestimable yearly damage
on crops, gardens, etc. I'm sure you've
all seen this pest on campus.
Censure not the dignified and self
reliant gray squirrel and the pitiable
dark-brown forest squirrel. They are truly
Oregonian and an integrated part of
nature’s cycle. But beware of the
campus squirrel which continues to in
crease in numbers completely un
checked by any kind of natural predator,
rapidly taking over an environment for
eign and not designed for it.
Remember what the white man did to
the Indian? Don’t let history repeat itself
with squirrels.
Molly Moore
Senior, theater
Still more . . .
I would like to announce my candidacy
for Office — any office here at the
University charged with the distribution
of a substantial amount of funds. If you
want steps to be taken to actively combat
growing squirrel arrogance, which you
clearly do, you have to give me the power
and funding to develop a comprehensive
program. If there are no offices available,
then I’ll serve as Clearing House and
Central Funding Committee for all those
contributions and donations waiting to
be given. Don’t make the mistake of
giving to one of the bastard
organizations which are popping up dai
ly. Give to the first, and only accredited
group — The Coalition to Stamp Out
Squirrel Arrogance Make checks paya
ble to: Gordon Brown, and leave them at
the Emerald office. I'll pick them up
there. Let’s get this ugly situation
cleaned up.
Gordon Brown
Chairman, Coalition to Stamp Out
Squirrel Arrogance
Junior, economics
etterspoicy
The Emerald will accept and at
tempt to print all letters containing
fair comment on issues, ideas and
topics of interest to the University
community. Letters must be limited
to 250 words.
Each letter must be signed and
the author’s field of study or faculty
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the author for verification prior to
publication.
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to edit any letter for length, style or
content. Publication of letters is
dependent upon available space
and can not be guaranteed.
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