Perfect Party
Perfection has its price — $1,348
By MIKE LEE
Of the Emerald
You blew it again, didn’t you?
You tried to have a party. You
failed. Now it's Monday, and you
still feel terrible about it. And
you’ve got another party in two
weeks.
This time, get it right. Give the
Perfect Party.
A word of warning — it ain’t
cheap.
To begin, the Perfect Party
must be held in the Perfect
Place. Hugh Hefner’s mansions
are a bit too far away, so we ll
settle for a barn. Sure, you could
rent a fraternity basement, but
the idea is to get away from it all.
Two barns cater to the local
party business. The Vida Barn,
25 miles east of Springfield,
charges from $175 for parties
up to 100 people, to $250 for
those with more than 250
guests. For best selection, you’ll
need to deposit $150 two weeks
in advance. Phone 896-3913
evenings.
Coglietti’s Ranch, near
Coburg, charges $200 for the
first 76 people and $2 per per
son beyond that, with a $200
deposit. Phone 345-5643.
For our party, we’ll limit the
guests to 50. Any more than that
and it’s a convention.
Cost of barn (plus deposit):
$325.
But how do you get there?
Knowing how your guests
inhale alcohol (more on that
below), you don’t want a bunch
of child-killers on the road late
at night. You’re going to need
special transportation.
Dorsey Bus, 688-0454, can
take the whole crew for a ride.
For the six or so hours your
party is going to last, they’ll
charge $165 plus a $25 cleaning
fee if you’re messy. And you will
be.
Agreed, it’s not quite Perfect,
but limousines would take too
long.
Cost of transportation: $190.
As anyone knows, you can't
have a Perfect Party sober. You
need beer — by the keg because
it tastes better that way. Each
151/2 gallon keg will handle
about 20 people for an evening
(this varies according to the
number of sots in your group),
so for our Perfect Party we’ll buy
three kegs.
Five distributors in the area
handle the more popular beers.
The prices for “premium” beers
run from $26.50 for Oly (Coast
Distributors, 747-5242) to
$34.50 for Michelob (Western
Beverage Co., 345-6514).
Other distributors include
Emerald Distributing Co.
(342-3355) for Blitz, Henry’s and
Pabst, Patrick Distributing Co.
(688-6161) for Rainier, Miller
and many imported beers, and
Twin Cities Distributing Co.
(345-2351) for the Schlitz
brands.
For these beers, keg deposits
vary from $12 to $20, while tap
deposits run from $25 to $50.
Keg deposits for imported beers
are higher.
So let’s choose. Sure, almost
any beer might do — if this were
a normal party. But this is the
Perfect Party. Three kegs of
Heineken, please.
Cost of beer plus deposit:
$413.
And while we’re on the sub
ject. . .
Fine for furnishing beer to a
minor (first offense): $200.
People need something to
soak up the beer with. Besides
the munchies that anyone can
buy in a store, wouldn’t it be fun
to rent a real-live popcorn
maker?
No — it would be Perfect. -
Taylor Rental Center
(741-2901) rents a popcorn
popper for $15 — the popcorn is
extra. To find it, drive to 1792 N.
42nd St., Springfield. Tell them
you’ll rent the chandelier some
other time.
Cost of popcorn: $20.
We’re rolling now. Already
this party is infinitely better than
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the mOflDBV before.
that sham you held Saturday
night. You can see how much
fun your guests are having. This
is a night they’ll want to
remember forever. They'll want
pictures, of course, so you’re
going to hire a professional
photographer.
You're in luck — two campus
businesses specialize in party
photography: Wally Kempe and
Associates, which is run by
John Dutton (344-6750) and
Dana Johnson Photographers
(345-6112). Prices range from
$1.30 to $1.75 a picture.
Because your 50 guests are
having so much fun, they're
bound to order two pictures
apiece. And being the Perfect
Party giver, you’ll pay for them.
Cost of pictures: $175.
Did you leave something out?
Probably. You’ll need garbage
pails and ice for the beer, you’ll
need a 100-watt stereo system
for Perfect Party music (you’ll
have to borrow that from a
friend), and whatever else you
always forget at the last
moment. So we'll add in a few
pennies for incidentals.
Cost of incidentals: $25.
There you have it — the Per
fect Party. You’ll have no en
emies left after you throw this
bash. So let's add it all up.
Cost of Perfect Party: $1,348.
What? How on earth are you
going to pay for it?
Bank loans start at 18
percent.
The Book Department
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from The Book Department will allow one package to be mailed free.
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them gift-wrapped free (separately, if you wish) and mailed together to
one destination You may not, however, buy two $5 books and have
them sent to two different addresses
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