College sex: an undercover legend?
Editors Note: Emerald reporter John
Crowley interviewed 30 students in frater
nity houses, dormitories and on the street
to determine prevailing student attitudes
about collegiate sex.
By JOHN CROWLEY
For the Emerald
Is the sexual revolution still raging a
cross college campuses?
in Eugene, where thousands of young
bodies are thrown together every year,
sex is a popular topic. Some say they
manage to advance past theory and into
practice, but can we believethere is a new
morality?
If there has been a sexual revolution,
according to one counselor, “all that's
changed is people's willingness to talk ex
plicitly about their sexual problems.'’
Although only about 5 percent of the
problems brought to the University Coun
seling Center are identified as sexual, they
fall into three main complaints: men who
have few or no sexual outlets: women
who have outlets but find them unsatisfy
ing. and members of both sexes who are
uneasy with their sexuality of worry about
not measuring up to our swinging times.
Many men and women complain that
the college sex life isn’t all it's cracked up to
be. In fact, few say their experiences
haven't been what they’d hoped they
would be.
“It’s true that there’s more sex in
Eugene than in most towns its size,” ob
served one woman student, “but that
doesn’t mean it’s good sex. They don’t
teach you that here.
“The problem starts when the expecta
tions people bring with them turn out to be
just that They think it’ll be so easy and
great. Then they get here and the games
begin.'
Talk of games floats about a lot,
perhaps because most people seem to be
playing them: the meeting game, the scor
ing game, the relationship game. Students
describe them with a frankness bom of
experience.
“Men use sex as a joke” University
dorm resident Heather Yarris said. “I
mean, we like guys. We like to look out the
window at them playing basketball and
comment among ourselves. But it’s not a
jesting matter, like with the men.
“At parties they always expect it They
assume you want it, even if you only smile
back at them.”
“It’s all lovey-dovey until they get turned
down,’’ added Joanne Frank, another
dorm resident. “Then they’re looking at
It ain ’t necessarily so
Graphic by Tom Enel
their watches, saying, well, I’ve got a
paper to write’, or I’ve got an early class
tomorrow’. . .
But men complained, about crossed
signals too. Many thought women took
advantage of alluring fashions, but Tom
Norris, in a moment of candor, added
some perspective. “I'm sure they1 re aware
of the implications, but so are men. I mean,
I’ll wear tight pants sometimes, when I
know they ! be looking.”
Dennis Gaetano, a junior, explored
another area of misunderstanding.
“Most women I’ve known expect too
much. They’re more emotionally in
volved in what’s going on.” Indeed,
many men lamented, “they want to
marry you."
Do they? Well, yes. Nearly all women
who had an opinion on the subject re
ported that affection, trust and love
were what they looked for in a relation
ship, even though they often settled for
less.
“It’s a hard choice to make if you’re
lonely,” said Yarris. “Even if you’re really
being pressured by a guy, sometimes
you give in. If you don’t, usually you
won’t see him again."
“I never consider that," freshman
Janet McNie disagreed. “I’d rather feel
lonely than cheap.”
Many men, however, voice no such
distaste for cheapness. In fact, about
half those questioned seemed to
corroborate the cavalier image given
them. For these men, college rep
resented a suspension from responsibil
ity, a holiday from consequence.
“I’ll get married someday, and when I
do, it’ll be with a nice chick,” predicted
one fraternity member. “But hell, we're
in school . You know, we re finding out
about sex and all that. There’s plenty of
time for that romantic stuff when you’re
ready for it. I’m not.”
Down the street, Rocky Schatz,
another Greek, felt differently. He consi
dered himself, and all the guys in his
fraternity, gentlemen.
"Everything you’ve heard about
Greeks is a rumor,” he explained. “We
feel it’s important to treat women nicely.
They like that. Hell, were into old
fashioned stuff around here. Dances, in
viting them to dinner, stuff like that.
We re into chivalry. We re romantic."
Author Dr. Joyce Brothers, would find
that attitude commendable. She writes:
"We re not as swinging a people as we
think we are. People found out that in
stant sex is about as satisfying as a
sneeze.”
So where does that leave the sexual
revolution? Hasn’t anything changed?
One thing has. A counselor at the
center, Bill Kirtner, has noticed “the de
crease in the number of homosexuals
coming in expressing a desire to
change, to become straight.’ Whether
this is because of a greater acceptance
of that life-style, or the availability of peer
counseling, we don’t know.”
Carol Queen, who runs the Gay
People’s Alliance office, has a theory.
“Gays have a better self-image lately,
more positive,” she said. “I think the ref
erendum (Eugene’s gay rights meas
ure, defeated last spring) had a lot to do
with it. People who’d spent the whole
term walking past our door finally got the
courage to take that big step and come
in.
“When you’re reading your life story in
the news, you realize you're not alone,
even if you've grown up that way.”
“Bisexuality,” Woody Allen observed,
“immediately doubles your chances of a
date on Saturday night.” Even so,
bisexuals — the vanguard, one would
think, of whatever sexual revolution we
might be having — receive precious little
support.
"To each group — the heterosexuals
and the homosexuals — the bi's are in
the other camp,” explained Carol. “Talk
about an identity crisis."
If there’s been a sexual revolution, its
effect has been to convince its veterans
that the old ways of love and romance
can withstand the barrage of instant sex.
“I did some fooling around for a while
last year,” confessed Mark Boldt, a
sophomore dorm resident. “But no
more. It’s different when you feel affec
tion. It’s better when you’re in love.”
Ludwig Van Broekhuizen, his neigh
bor, agreed somewhat: “Or at least in
like. Deep like."