Spring has brought sex back
to Pine Valley. It’s dishonest
sex, as usual, and this time it’s
Tom Cudahy that better watch
out ’cause Erica would like to
snare him as a trophy.
It’s an old story — a schem
ing female subscribing to the
All my children
conquerer school of sexual re
lations uses her feminine wiles
(and the prospect of her naked
body) to trap an unsuspectng
man. Seems like all the nega
tive characters in Pine Valley
are female but in a male domi
nated society, guess that's not
surprising.
Anyway, Erica’s been there
before and it’s sure to bring un
happiness again. When rela
tionships are dishonest, pain is
very close. But enough preach
ing.
Last week, Erica was at the
Goalpost when she learned
Tom had a date with Brooke
after work. Females on this
show view each other as com
petition, and Erica’s the worst.
She was determined to break
up Tom and Brooke’s date and
so suddenly she felt faint.
“I’ll just lie here ’til the rush is
over. Then you can give me a
lift home.”
Nice try, Erica. Tom ended
up keeping his date but
friction’s sure to increase
there.
As Erica's regaining her con
niving ways, Phoebe’s trying tO'
regain control over people’s
lives. Right now, it’s Charles
that better watch out.
Charles has agreed to act as
Phoebe’s doctor and she’s at
tempting to use her “handicap”
to get him back home. Like
Erica, Phoebe’s dishonesty
continues to bring her pain.
Charles isn’t going to come
home anymore than I will greet
today in someone else’s bed.
In Minneapolis, things are
getting really wired. Kelly (the
singer Myrtle swears is Kitty)
looks like Kitty with a new
hair-do. Myrtle has talked her
into coming to Pine Valley for a
vacation and a look-see (Kelly
was born in Pine Valley on the
same day as Kitty).
Kelly (played by the same
actress that played Kitty) will
spice things up. Line will prob
ably fall for her, she’ll get her
hair cut like Kitty and take up
where Kitty left off.
Back in Pine Valley, Edna's
about to join Kitty in that studio
in the sky. David's been slowly
poisoning her, but the speed is
about to be increased. Kristina
has accepted Jeff’s proposal.
That shoots David’s plans to
hell. He figured if Edna kicked
off, he and Kristina would find
the happiness that’s been elud
ing them. Sorry Dave, even
your new haircut won't make
Kris change her mind. Besides,
Dave’s acting really crazy.
He’s jumpy as hell and not
much fun to be around. Looks
like he and Edna will soon be
gone from Pine Valley.
Finally, Danny’s sex life is
similar to mine. For a while, he
was an equal in his relationship
with Brooke. But then she was
worried about him not answer
ing to her beck and call. It s all
changed.
Once her performance be
tween the sheets lured Danny
back, she issued an ultimatum.
Either spend the week-end
with me or we won’t see each
other anymore. Danny’s future
depends on him studying this
week-end (they’ll take him in
graduate school if he does well
on his last set of finals) and so
he can't go. Which leaves him
where he was two months ago:
having to chose between his
career and Brooke. Forget her
Danny. She’s no good.
Commission
prohibits
benzene use
WASHINGTON (AP) — The
Consumer Product Safety Com
mission continued a government
assault on benzene, voting
unanimously Thursday to ban the
suspected cancer-causing agent
found in many household pro
ducts.
The commission took the action
in response to a petition filed
nearly a year ago by the Health
Research Group, an organization
affiliated with consumer advocate
Ralph Nader.
But the organization criticized
the commission for delaying the
ban, saying it had allowed
businesses to continue selling
products containing benzene in
stead of ordering them off store
shelves.
Earlier this year, the Labor
Department’s Occupational
Safety and Health Administration
and the Environmental Protection
Agency had laid siege to benzene,
both citing it as a threat to public
health.
Thursday’s action by the con
sumer agency will not become ef
fective until sometime in the fall
because of legal procedures to
put the ban into effect.
Benzene, a dear, colorless li
quid with a rather pleasant odor, is
used in such consumer products
as paint thinners, rubber cement,
artist’s supplies and household
cleaning solvents.
Salem fake rock’s building halted
SALEM (AP) — Work has been
stopped on the city of Salem s
fake rock because the builders
didn’t get a Marion County build
ing permit.
Also, county officials said, the
rock might not meet the county’s
building code because it doesn’t
appear to be structurally sound.
The city received a $31,000
federal grant and started building
the 30-by-60 feet concrete and
steel rock a month ago. It was to
have given local mountain clim
bers something to practice on.
The Comprehensive Employ
ment Training Act money also
provided jobs for a half dozen per
sons.
City Council members became
upset because construction
began before they heard about
the rock. The council split 4-4 on a
motion to halt construction.
It Weis called Salem’s pet rock,
Droning by Jm F^yne
Boondoggle Butte and Mount
Minto, because it was to be on
Minto Island in the Willamette
River.
As it turned out, the land was
too spongy to support all that con
crete and steel, so the builders
moved a few hundred feet and
started pouring concrete on
county land.
Roland Withrow, county build
ing inspector, ordered construc
tion stopped Wednesday.
He said the builders didn’t sub
mit architect’s or engineer’s plans
and did not get approval from the
three county commissioners.
Two of the commissioners said
they were against building the
rock on county land.
The commissioners were part
of a nine-member Federal Man
power Consortium board that had
approved the city’s grant in the
first place.
Draft losses may result in doctor shortage
FORT LEWIS, Wash. (AP) — A
doctor shortage may be develop
ing i n the armed forces because of
the loss of the draft, says Maj.
Gen. Marshall McCabe, head of
the Health Services Command.
McCabe told doctors and hospi
tal officials Tuesday the number of
doctors on active duty will drop to
1,600 this summer, while the
Army needs 2,500. He called it “a
very significant problem.”
Budget shortages will also hin
der patient care this year, McCabe
said. Congress provided an in
crease of only $300,000 in the
Army’s $500 million health-care
budget, he said.
With an 8 percent inflation rate
for medical costs, the net result is
a substantial cut in services, he
said.
The Health Services Command
has taken steps to diminish effects
of the shortage. Laboratory and
radiology work has been con
tracted to private doctors in some
hospitals where there are no Army
professionals to perform those
tasks, he said. Civilian doctors
have been hired and services cut
at some small posts.
A new scholarship program is
expected to begin soon, bringing
new doctors into the Army, he
said.
The Fort Lewis Madigan Army
Medical Center will feel some ef
fect from the shortage, he said,
but not as much as some other
hospitals. Madigan is one of eight
regional Army medical centers.
The medical centers, because
of their teaching functions will re
tain more doctors than post hospi
tals.
At Madigan, a hiring freeze has
been in effect since late last year
in an effort to cut costs.
Mallard is never
late to class.