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But we hope it all works out in the end.
_ J
diatribe -
Millions to rise up
in Post Office lobby
Hundreds of thousands of students chanting “Stock the Dump
Now’’ and occassionally breaking into “Happy Days are Here Again!”
with the occasional sprinkling of “The Masses Decided will Always Be
Divided!” thronged into the EMU Fishbowl Wednesday, March 8,1978,
to proclaim their undivided dedication to the struggle, the battle, the
unceasing, rising, building, geometrically expanding movement in
itiated by the Revolting Coalition of Young Bunglers and aided a bit by
the Sometimes Another Liberation is Sure Cool group and not aided a
bit by the sell-out fascists of the capitalist-infiltrated People for San
Antonio Freedom and its partner lackey, the Admiral Zumwalt for Pres.
Committee, to strike a forceful blow against the handful of corporate
capitalists and bankers who run this country; a beginning in our struggle
to unite in our millions to support the struggle in Blue River, Vida and
Yachats, where our militant and uncompromising struggle is growing
among the destitute and exploited seething masses, where our con
stant pressure is beginning to get ingrained, a message that the Im
morald, itself a profiteering capitalist rag run by a handful of corporate
capitalists and bankers, has called dogma, but our message — that we
should rise up in our millions in a militant and uncompromising struggle
to strike a blow to the hearts of the corporate capitalists and bankers
who run this country — is being heard by the millions of people who
never even went to college, and is being supported by the millions who
gathered in the Fishbowl prior to the raid and forceful occupation of the
Friendly Hall Closet, where exploitation has been rampant for years
under the regime of the tyrant Romance Languages Department Head,
also a member of the handful of corporate capitalists and bankers, when
16 persons occupied the closet, refusing to be removed until the de
mands were met or the placards were torn from their wounded, bleeding
hands, which the handful of corporate capitalists and bankers, soon
to be displaced by our millions in our militant and uncompromising
struggle, had mutilated just before they and the fascist police state
gendarmes tore the 16 from the closet in an effort to crush our rising,
geometrically expanding movement (which is now reaching millions in
places like South Cottage Grove, Hilyard St., and North Eugene) with
the help of the capitalist-fascist Romance Languages Department
head, who also works as a typist for the ASUO, which uses IBM
Selectric typewriters, red with the blood of the exploited secretaries of
Coos Bay, where our militant and uncompromising movement to strike
a forceful blow is also bringing in billions of supporters whose necks
ache with the chafe of the yoke of capitalist slavery, which we must
struggle to overcome at every opportunity; a system that proposes
bogus and bankrupt laws like the ERA, laws we must oppose forcefully
to strike a blow at the system of capitalist slavery and the Romance
Lanuages Department Head and the ASUO and the Immorald, and that
too-seldom mentioned bulwark of capitalism, the janitor of PLC, and the
handful of corporate capitalists and bankers that run this country and
will keep running it until we, the billions from every corner of the block,
rise up to meet our destiny and refuse to let their good laws pass so that
our growing,rising, building, geometrically expanding, movement will
culminate in the initiation of our laws.
There will be a meeting today in the Post Office Lobby to discuss
strategy and to develop new slogans. All militant and uncompromising
millions are encouraged to attend.
I MM/uor
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10 86 A
Page 4 Section B
-Off the Big Daddy’s Wall
Big Daddy Amin says, “hello!”
Editor's note: This space, usually entitled Off the
Wally" and written by our Editor Malty Henson, is
today being utilized by our new columnist, Idid Big
Daddy” Amin. Henson, for reasons unknown, has
forgotten how to write.
Hello my beautiful friends! I am wanting you to
know today that my omnik ... omnisch ...
omnicrent... everpresent warm handshake and
New columnist, “Big Daddy”
beautiful taste in food and wine, will be coming to
your most beautiful like-an-Emerald valley soon. For
this most important occasion, I will wear my most
favorite uniform, and I want to promise you today that
my arrival in your Kingdom will be a most important
celebration for your peoples as well as mine.
As you must know, your country is now being
settled by many rich arab oil sheiks. As you also must
importantly know, Big Daddy, a name my affection
ate, loyal and loving subjects have bestowed on me.
their benevolent ruler, never likes to be left out. So
now I must importantly tell you, my beautiful friends,
that I have bought this completely independent
newspaper for $50. This arrangement came to be
after lengthy discussions with your former Editor
Malty Henson in my private refuge here in my beauti
ful but too small Uganda. Henson, in his wisdom, has
decided to remain here in big Daddy land to help in
the construction of the Big Daddy Great Wall of
Uganda, which will be much more important than the
Chinese effort.
I would also want you to know today that I will
carry on in Malty, my good friend’s, tradition. Tradi
tion, as you know, means very much to me, and my
views, as you must also know are very importantly
the same as Malty Henson’s were. I am looking for
ward most importantly to giving you, my beautiful
friends, an insight into Big Daddy that the distorted
American newspapers haven’t given you before.
Rest assured that your beloved Malty Henson will be
very important as a brick in the Big Daddy Great Wall,
and that I, your benevolent leader, will enjoy very
importantly working for this very exciting newspaper!
I know that you have had many problems with
protest and unrest in your most important University,
but rest assured that with Big Daddy as your most
benevolent ruler, you will enjoy most delicious meats
and wines. You will all be most blissfully happy with
Big Daddy!
Thank you my beautiful friends!
Tirades
??????
In regards to Zip Puncho’s re
sponse to John Geek’s response
to lam Proletariat s response to
Bour Wagee’s response to Mel
Low’s response to Ben Telbo’s re
sponse to Arthur Sprowt’s re
sponse to I.M. Coul’s response to
the April 10, 1974 letter by who
ever it is who wrote to the Emerald
to castigate the Geek system be
cause of the pin-up calender
featuring sexy sorority women
with notes explaining bust sizes,
personality traits, how fast to
move in and what to avoid with
each one:
I really can’t say how the con
versation turned from the calen
der to the philosophy of underwa
ter sex, but I'd like to point out that
whoever wrote the first letter was
suffering from bad logic and the
inability to state her point pre
c,sely Justin Fratter
Auckland, New Zealand
Update policy
I think the Emerald editorial
page has been deeply remiss in its
duty to present letters to the editor
in the order they arrive. On May 4,
I wrote a letter about the recent
Bay of Pigs invasion, as it has re
cently come to be known, and it
still hasn’t appeared in the paper
in spite of your stated policy of
running letters on a first-come
first-served basis.
With that aside, I’d like to
Editor's note: this letter will be
continued in tomorrow's edition,
because of the lack of space in
today’s edition. With regard to the
first part of the first half of this let
ter: What letter?
Eliminate errors
In a recent Immorald story
headlined, “Is there life after con
servatism,” several facts, gram
matical and spelling errors were
glaringly obvious.
It would seem to me that the
Immorald should half enough
savwy to keep it’s product error
free, and to accommodate his
readers with germane stories, not
rejects from Esquire.
Placing George McGvem to the
right of Lester Maddox, misusing
gerands and antecedents and
spelling the commonly used word
“seiche’’ incorrectly are inexcus
able.
I would recommend the Im
morald screen their many applic
ant more carefully. Hopefully, the
Immorald will get its acts together
soon. Besides, it reflects on the
journalism school.
Hack Jart
Journalism Prof.
No problem
I can’t help wondering what all
the flap is about the a part time
system as reported in the Im
morald. The South African uses a
part time to provide almost full
employment. So what’s all the
flap?
A part time is perfectly accepta
ble and should be used more in
this country. South Africa is on the
right track. It’s not entirely a black
and white issue, however, be1
cause there's still a little bit of un
employment in South Africa.
Jimmy Carter
the White House
No more “nice guy”
I have had it with you people
making fun of those of us who are
of the Polish persuasion.
If these simpleton “Polock
jokes" do not stop immediately, I
will sneak into my house, when
you least expect it, and hold all my
family hostage!!
Jim Klunkoski
Polish Science Prof.
Friday, April 7, 1978