VOI. 2, NO 1
Eugene, Oregon 97403
Friday, May 20, 1977
Brigade protests ‘white guy’ tyranny
By H. McMcMcMcMcMc
Of the Immorald
The Bourgeois Busters Brigade
put its theory into practice Thurs
day when all six members of the
organization marched off campus
in solidarity with their slogan
"White People Off Campus.”
One tragic event marred the
otherwise routine demonstration
when one Brigade member acci
dentally slipped on the steps of the
EMU and was smothered in a
storm of mimeographed leaflets.
The reaction against wnite peo
ple in general stemmed from the
BBBs month-long campaign to
end what they consider to be Uni
versify complicity in the oppres
sion of nonwhites.
“We re taking up the struggle
around the slogans Whites Off
Campus,’ Victory to the Elimina
tion Forces, and Down With Ma
jority Rule, Brigade member
John Smashem told the small
crowd who gathered for a noon
rally on the EMU Terrace.
“Whites have oppressed and
exploited generations of black,
brown and yellow people. We re
saying enough is enough — we re
not going to take it anymore. As
students and workers at this Uni
versity we have an interest in see
ing that this institution end its ties
with whites and the racism they
represent.”
Smashem called for the Univer
sity to stop accepting money from
whites of all ages and classes and
to stop providing University
facilities for recruiters from white
corporations.
“It’s these same white people
and the multinational interests
they control who wage imperialist
war in the third world and make up
the bulk of the American ruling
class,” Smashem said. "It’s no
accident that the University of
Oregon recruits a majority of its
student body from the white petty
bourgeoisie of this country.”
The demonstrators marched
from the EMU across campus to
ImmorakJ photo
A physical plant worker cleans up the debris of what used to be Science III. The building was cut from the
University last night, when Pres. Nullon Void ordered a bomb be exploded in its basement. “This is part of
the belt tightening we've got to do," explained Void. ",A committee will be formed tomorrow to evaluate my
decision and recommend any changes they ’d like."
Arts, Science College to go,
Void terms school ‘a waste’
By LORDY PETER'S SON
Of the Emerald
University Pres. Nullon Void told members of the
General Faculty Wednesday, that he plans to
"phase-out" the College of Arts and Sciences by the
end of the 1977-78 academic year.
Void termed the college "a waste,” and added “it
is crucial that we eliminate unnecessary curricula at
the University in the face of severe economic crisis.”
He addressed the snoring faculty saying, “I realize
my decision will receive great protest from many of
you. as it has from college Dean Almos Bald, but I still
welcome input and I hope that you will forward your
suggestions to me at my escape accondominium in
Florida.”
Void said he plans to clear out Unfriendly Hall,
where the college offices are located, in order to
rennovate it for a Lane County Jail auxilary office.
“This will bring the University added prestige and
attention from the community; besides," he added,
“we haven’t had any real excitement here since de
monstrators dug us a garden in front of the administ
ration building."
He also introduced a proposal to the faculty that
would make all University facilities available to the
city of Eugene, when notin use for classes during the
day. Void said this proposal he called "Rent-A
University" would allow those who had the bucks to
use the buildings for whatever purpose they wanted
to. "We can be somewhat discriminatory, but when it
comes right down to it, we can afford to be real
picky.”
Void said that the proposal has resulted from
many long conferences over beer with Chancellor
Coy Screwnmall. He stated, “it is either this or we can
file for bankruptcy."
Some of the more coherent faculty members
commented on Void's cuts and proposal following
the meeting.
"Well, I don’t think we have to go to these ex
tremes,” stated Bill Comeon. "We wouldn't be in this
mess in the first place if Void would have put his
$60,000 house up for sale, like we told him to."
Bob Blowhard, sociology professor, stated,
“we ll just have to trust his judgement, after all, he's
promised us a handsome retirement package.”
Susan Campbell Hall in an at
tempt to confront representatives
of the giant MultiCorp Co., who
were conducting recruitment in
terviews inside. When recruiters
failed to meet with the protestors,
the group demanded an audience
with University Vice-Pres. Jailor
Blowgun.
Blowgun, enroute to a top-level
security confab in the Dominican
Republic, could only spare a few
minutes with the demonstrators.
His answers to queries about
whites on campus were brief:
"Look, you clear it with the Ath
letic Department and I'll even let
you book Adolph Hitler in Mac
Court," Blowgun said. “Money
talks. I don t care what color you
are, as a guest of the University
you have the right to make money,
keep it, and make some more.
The demonstrators listened as
Smashem reiterated the
Brigade’s opposition to white
people and the special interests
the race represent.
"We can t sit by and let this go
on forever. We must nse up and
smash Whitey wherever we find
him in whatever form he takes. I
say — and it's the position of
Brigade chapters throughout the
country — ‘White Guys Off Cam
pus and Victory to the Elimination
Forces!"
The chanting, sign-carrying
crowd proceeded to the basement
of the EMU where they held a
short rally and demanded to see
the ASUO executive officer.
Smashem accused the ASUO
president of conspiring with the
University’s all-white administra
tion to asuage white guilt.
"She s not fooling anybody. We
know who's calling the shots here
and its time we fleshed the
phonies out," Smashem said as
the group took up his cry:
“Oliver's not black — Only part
of her!"
The protestors were interrupted
in mid-chant when campus sec
urity observers — who outnum
bered demonstrators 10 to one —
moved in to break up the crowd.
That does it," Smashem
shouted. "Whites Off Campus,
Now!"
With that the demonstrators
began their exodus from the Uni
versity area. Marching down 13th
Street, the Brigade promised not
to return until they are replaced by
an all-black radical student group.
DIC warns of toxic drug
A deadly light brown gas being
sold as an amyl nitrite or nitrous
oxide subsititute may have made
its way to the Willamette Valley.
The University Drug Informa
tion Center (DIC) issued a
statewide alert for the substance
— popularly known as ' farts —
after receiving word from federal
marshals that the gas could be
circulating in the Northwest.
Mark Miller, FdT (Fonzeof Drug
Technology), of the DIC says the
substance is a derivative of rear
gas projectiles" and is highly ir
ritating. The gas is light brown in
color, tasteless, and has a fetid
barnyard odor, Miller says. The
gas cannot be washed off and can
be absorbed into the blood
stream through the skin.
Exposure to “farts' causes tear
ing contractions of the nostrils and
even in small doses, may cause
death. Exposure to the substance
in a small room (such as a bath
room) could be lethal, Miller re
ports.
The gas may have entered the
country through Mexico, where it
is known that beans are a staple of
the diet. Customs officials in
Chicago say one woman was
hospitalized with irreversible brain
damage after coming into contact
with "farts in the "Windy City.
Meanwhile, a small group of af
ficianados of the drug who refer to
themselves as "odor-eaters'
have openly advocated "farts. At
tempting to clear the air of con
troversy, Miller has condemned
the "eaters’,stating unequivocally
that: “flatus will get you nowhere.'
Noting that the worst is behind us,
Miller urged members of the
community to keep a tight asshole
and to beware of unidentified
bubbles in their bathtubs.
On other fronts, astronomers at
the University have performed
spectral analysis of the gas noting
that it closely resembles the at
mosphere of Uranus. The "natural
gas crisis ” is the subject of a long
range feasibility study now being
conducted at the Department of
Environmental Quality (DEQ).
DEQ proposals include personal
emissions controls and hi-flow
exhaust hoods on public toilets.
Will Oregon go down in the anals
of history as the new “farts’’
capitol of the world?
The answer my friend is not
Blowin' in the wind.
The answer is blowin’
Through your shorts ...
ijesterdcKj
Amazon
University Housing Director
P.H. Barnyard ousted all Ama
zon Housing Project residents
in a surprise “housecleaning"
move. The students currently
are residing on the steps of
Johnson “Unit" Hall. See Page
25.
Holocaust
Irate librarianship students
raided University Pres. Nullon
Void’s home and stoned him
with numerous oversized
braille Dr. Zeuss books. Void
was reported in satisfactory
condition with a cat in the hat.
See Page 30.