The Oregon Driver’s Manual is the first in a series of
ridiculously inexpensive parody supplements,
prepared for publication and syndicated to campus
newspapers here and there by Flying Squirrel Word
Company, P.O. Box 06238, Portland, Oregon 97206.
Written by Bob Meyer
Artwork by Chris Foleen
Necessities: Scott Cline, Doug Peeples
Complicity: Maureen McNassar
Photography: Greg Heinze
Typography: Verni Moore, David Stubbs
Facilities: Portland State University Vanguard
Copyright 1973 by Flying Squirrel Word Company,
Portland, Oregon.
My Fellow Oregonians:
Every time you take the
wheel of your car you assume
the responsibility for the
safety of yourself, your
passengers and your
governor.
This manual has been pre
pared to sufficiently confuse
you so that maybe you'll de
cide to stay off the road. It
provides generally useless in
formation, yet keeps several
state employees from going
hungry.
Oregon motorists enjoy an
excellent highway system
that plays a vital role in our
state's economy. Why risk
destroying it with overuse?
Read this manual and stay
home. Otherwise I may be
forced to ask the legislature
to raise your license fees and
gas taxes even higher.
Love,
tomm^
.Drivers
Manual
1972/73“
A License to Drive
There can be no pleasure equal to that of receiving your very
first driver's license. Whether you are 16 or 60 at the time, that
first license will mean more to you than anything else in the
world. To some it is a symbol of adulthood, to others an emblem
of achievement. And to all it means an end to dependence on
others and a beginning of their dependence on you.
POWER A driver's license gives you power over others.
You decide when grandma can or cannot use the crosswalk. You
decide when the grade school safety patrol has outlived its
usefulness. You decide who is going to live and who is going to
die.
IDENTIFICATION Your driver’s license is the most
effective piece of identification you can possess. With it you can
open a bank account or pass a bad check. It identifies you to the
grocery clerk, the policeman and the county coroner. Your
driver's license is unique— no two are ever made exactly alike.
OBTAINING A LICENSE There are two ways to obtain your
Oregon driver's license. The first is to be at least 16 years of age,
be a resident of the state, study this manual and be able to answer
a battery of ridiculous questions based on its contents, have
adequate vision, practice driving a vehicle so that you would be
considered at least semi-skilled in its operation and have $3.50 in
cash.
(continued)
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