Cross Too Much to Bear
Dullness Entombs
Stevens Story
By 8TKVK DIMRO
Entertainment Editor
In the beginning was the Herd
and the Herd was Audience. And
the Herd was with George
Ste’vcns, creator, for it glorified
in the Word when the Word was
at the Kox rather than in church.
Kor the pious Herd preferred
the Word from llol'lywood.
Now it came to pass that again
the Word came forth from Holly
wood. And the Word was more
than one: It was Stilted, Trite,
Disjointed and Boring. For the
Son of Stevens had slouched to
wards Bethlehem to he horn as a
Frankenstein of dry old parch
ment.
Immaculate Zombie
And the conception was immac
ulate, for Max Von Sydow, Savior
(would you believe statue?), was
good and Good and all ogled in
awe as he strolled in zombie
stature across the sareen.
For he was Christ and he saw
that he was Good. And from that
time forward he began to preach.
But the life in Christ’s lines
was dead.
But behold! There was a Holy
Host of Hundreds of guiding stars
who strode their worthless ways
with the strained, stereotyped and
ineffectual Savior.
Behold Charl ton Hcs’ton! yell
log ' Hepent!” and rolling hoilly
in the waters and Herod’s cell as
John the Baptist. Alas, for he
was weak and the limp script was
strong and the yelling went to bis
head and he lost it.
Hdilor Goes Hence
Behold Dav'id McC'al'Ium! who
escaped UNCLK only to betray a
SON.
Behold Rod'dy McDow'all!
Car’roll Bak’er (not even her legs
are showing)! Sal Min’eo! Shel'ley
Win'ters (quickly before her ten
seconds arc up)! Ed' Wynn’! (?)
Jose’ Ferrer’’ Claude’ Bains'! And
oth'ers!
Behold! the entertainment edi
tor who has got himself hence
from the theatre after only two
of the three and a half hours. For
truly he knew bow it would end
And the story and the words were
nothing new.
But verily, verily, he says unto
you, the Son of Stevens proved
a preacher, not a storv-teller ni
all
The Book Better
For The Greatest Story Ever
Told" was not a story For it was
resurrected thus from what is
written. And the movie was no
better than the Book.
For it had come to pass that
the film only read from the Book
Don't Let Unfeminme
Hair Mar Your Beauty
Have it removed
permanently.
Consultation with
out obligation.
Lenors
Liebreich
307 Tiffany Bldg.
345-0844
and the story was episodic words
and incoherent scenes. And it was
droll in spots but dull in all
others.
For the movie was neither a
fresh insight into the human char
acter of Christ nor a spectacle of
superhuman miracles (Alas, in
the hailed raisin# of Lazarus, the
zombie is never even seen to rise.;
Nor, alas, could the Word make
up its mind to be Kin# James or
Revised Standard.
Awkward Hallelujahs
And the words became awk
ward thoughts lifted from the
Hook's scenes not included; shy
action became messengers, mes
sengers and messengers; and
drama came forth as orisons in
unreal unison, and wide - open
eyes, and desperate "Hallelujahs.”
And the soundtrack’s lugubri
ous lilts were just as exciting.
And even in that time the last
resort technique of photographic
gimmicks like sentimental slow
fade in-fade outs helped not the
Son of Stevens from disastrous
descension.
And the critic cried, “My
Stevens! My Stevens! Why hast
thou forsaken us”" For he was
greatly disappointed.
And he gave us his post in the
place.
And he was crucified with bore
dom.
For “The Greatest Story Ever
Told” had in this way been told,
told, told and it was dead, dead,
dead. For it died in its resurrec
tion.
And he said aloud, “Verily,
verily, let the dead bury the
dead "
And he said, “Cursed be the
piece makers who make pieces
like this. For man cannot live by
the dead alone.”
Now in these days it has come
to pass that the film cannot pass
until its work is done at the Fox
only after seven days.
Hut rejoice, for on the eighth
day we rest.
In the name of Stevens, his
Son and the Holy Host, Amen.
NOTICE
CLASSIFIED Deadline:
2:00 p.m. day preceding publi
cation. Deadline for Monday,
however, is 10 a.m. Friday.
Classified Cost:
5c per word the first day, 3c per
word every day thereafter.
FOR SALE
ANTIQUE SALE
Modern square Steinway. Stein
way antique piano 80 yrs. old.
Antique pump organ for sale.
Antique Kroeger, 80 yrs. old.
Korean blocks.
2623 Alder
Call 344-5083
or 343-9996.
WON IN CONTEST
NEVER been titled. 80cc. Ya
maha trail bike—$289. Contact
746-1100 after 5.
FOR SALE: One constructive, ga
gar and responsible candidate
for senator-at-large. Vote Randy
Gragg.
Tfie CXiijiriaC
PANCAKt HOUSe'
]>amikcs as you. Ukc iH«n
_ optta 0
oa-tn- +# o v*"'
GMUuwnae. 313-1513
CLASSIFIED ADS
FOR SALE
LOW DOWN on FHA SouuTeu
gene 2-bedroom home, family
room, carpeting, patio, fenced
lawn. A-l condition. Below ap
praisal, $11,500. 215 E. 34th Ave.
344-5635.
DENTAL equipment for first
year dental school. 30 per cent
savings. 345-7261.
14-FOOT Sunfish sailboat. C a r
rack and handling dolly. Call
747-8272.
ELECTRIC refrigerator for sale.
In good condition. $30. 835 E.
36th. 343-0168 after 6.
SONY TO 200 Stereo tape re
corder. Used approximately 15
hours. 3444632. $150.
MOV INC. Will sell two good 40”
ranges, $35 each. Also excellent
IJlackstone dryer, $25. 344-8281.
CARS & CYCLES
SMALL motorscooter, new paint,
good tires, good running condi
tion, $50. After 3 p.m., 3980
Oak.
SAFE, economical, dependable.
1904 Rambler (330 American)
wagon. Stick shift, new tires, ra
dio, heater, reclining seats. Only
20,000 miles. Immaculate. $1195.
343-1104
MUST sell 1903 Pontiac, Lc Mans
sport coupe, V-8 320 automatic,
bucket seats, new white walled
tires. $1,295. 345-0740.
CLEAN and dependable 1960
Austin Healy. Excellent condi
tion. New paint and tires. Ex
tras. 345-1219.
1955 4-dr. Chev $250 or best of
fer. Good condition. Call 345
8348.
'56 FORD 2-door, automatic trans
mission Radio and heater. $150.
343 6887.
’59 ALFA ROMEO VELOCE road
ster, new engine. $1095 or trade
for VW bus 342-2853.
125 PARILLA. Italian Scrambler
completely rebuilt. 1903 model.
$315. 345-8862.
1905 FIAT Spider. Extremely
well cared for. Sacrifice $1995.
Trade accepted. 345 9937.
VESPA GS. Good condition. Rea
sonable price. Call Larry Durer,
ext. 478.
1956 MERCURY, hardtop, V-8. au
tomatic, $150. 344-3798 after 5
p.m.
'62 BURGUNDY Impala. 4 speed,
327, chrome, reverse, reverb., ex
cellent condition. Call ext. 478.
1963 AUSTIN HEALY, $1250.
Call 688-0309 after 6.
1949 BUICK, good tires, good en
gine, runs, $75 or best offer.
747-3628.
1956 FORD 2-Dr., V-8, automatic,
black. Good condition. $175, or
make offer. 343-0754.
RANCID '37 Chew pickup. $80
cash. 345-5816.
1958 MGA. $500.
Phone Ext. 356.
’59 VESPA GS. Ext. 474.
MEN’S Bianehi racing bike, new
$70 Ext. 1676.
1952 FORD, 6-cylinder, stick
overdrive, radio and heater.
LIKE new Peugeot, men’s 10-spd.
Ext. 1925.
1963 HONDA Scrambler, 250ec,
$340. Call Jim or Mike, 1581.
1963 LAMBRETTA, 150cc. $190.
Ext. 2259 or 1160.
'60 VESPA Scooter. Needs bat
tery. $50 or a Stereo. 345-3277.
1961 TR-3. $895 or best offer.
Call 998-6453 after 6.
1963 VOLKSWAGEN Sedan. $995.
896-3834
■ 650CC. BSA Scrambler. Com
pletely rebuilt. Fast. 344-9033.
’64 HONDA, 55CC trail bike, 2,
500 miles. Ext. 1647. Jim Orjala.
CARS & CYCLES
1902 65CC YAM AG U CHI trail
hike, SCO 740 0740.
RIDES — RIDERS
NEBD rider or car driven East in
June? Call Penny, ext. 2288.
HIDE WANTED: To New York
State, or any city beyond Missis
sippi. Leave: June 11. Must ar
rive New York June 17. Willing
to share expenses but can’t drive.
Write Larry Cox, 409 E. 15th
Phone: 344-5715.
FOR RENT
ROOM for girl available May 5
Sept. 5 including kitchen privil
eges and wares, bedding, utili
ties and phone, $40. Call Joanie,
342-5111 between 9-5, after that
time 344-8071 or 688-0707
NEWLY furnished 1 bdrm. apt ,
second floor, $125.
Housekeeping room available,
$00. Inquire at 1819 Kincaid.
0884910.
FURNISHED apts., studio now, 1
bdrm. May 1. Parking; water and
garbage paid. Campus area, 344
4674.
AI’T. across from campus, 1 bed
room unfurnished, range, re
frigerator, carport. $83. Avail
able now. 344-6034.
1 BEDROOM furnished apartment
1 block from University, $90.
343-0457 after 5.
FURNISHED, charming, quiet,
comfortable, bed-sitting room,
bath and shower, lovely yard.
Parking. $44. 2308 Willamette.
344 9710
STUDENT MANOR apts. near
campus. Both 1 and 2 bedroom
apts. available; carpeted. 344
0034.
RENT, lease, or sell large South
ern Colonial home on Fernridge
Lake shore. Available June 15.
$140 per month. 344-6634.
NICELY furnished one-bedroom
apartment. $120. 1815 Kincaid.
Evenings 688-4916.
PLEASANT room available, walk
ing distance downtown and cam
pus. Men only. 3454247. 345^8378
ROOM for rent. 1873 E. 15th, $20.
Private entrance.
BUSINESS
OPPORTUNITIES
AVAILABLE throughout the
U.S.A. and Canada. A New Prod
uct which will sell itself. Our line
is a complete business within
itself, no sideline investment
ment necessary. Space-age ad
vance. Used by homes, hotels,
farms, institutions, factories,
plant government installations
and business. National Advertis
ing by Company. Users may or
der for $13.95 per gallon deliv
ered prepaid.
Exclusive franchise. Investment
secured by fast moving inventory
with a guarantee sell agreement.
$400 minimum—$14,758.40 max
imum investment.
For complete information or call:
Area Code 314-PE. 9-0125
Franchise Sales Division 0-2
3024 North Lindbergh Blvd.
St. Ann, Missouri 63074
AIRLINE PILOT TRAINING
If you meet these basic require
ments and are willing to acquire
the necessary training, you may
qualify for a (light crew position
with a Major Airline.
Height—57” to 6'4”
Age—20 to 27
Vision—20 20 uncorrected
Education—2 years of college
Pass Qualifying Examinations
For Bulletin contact—
HERROD SCHOOL OF
AVIATION
Phone 259-6152, Area Code 406
Logan Field, Billings, Mont.
WANT to tly for Vz within U.S.
on all airlines? A student card
for $3.00 gives you this dis
count until your 22nd birthday.
Call 344-1708.
WANTED
1-2 ROOMMATES. Female. Call
343-1880. Possibly for summer
school also.
WANTED
FEMALE roommate. 1 block from
campus. $4250 month. 1569 a ft
er 6.
TWO-1N-THE-RED coeds invite
more roommates to share large,
two-story house 343 4840.
MALE roommate to share com
pletely furnished apartment.
343 0506.
ROOMMATE to share comforta
ble 2-bdrm. apartment. Call 345
1102 between 5:30 and 6:30 pm.
10-SPEED bicycle. Preferably la
dies. Call 345-0749.
HELP WANTED
WOULD you believe you can
make one hundred dollars a
day canvassing? Would you be
lieve ten? It’s up to you. 345
3293 after 6.
SERVICES
WANTED: Typing, my borne.
Evenings. Call after 6 p m. 746
8674.
QUALITY TYPING . . EDIT
ING . . . U of O graduate.
Graduate school approved. IBM
executive. Mrs. Davis Burnett,
3030 Willamette No. 6. 3432045
TYPING, 5 yrs. experience. Grad
uate School approved. Call 726
7274.
SPEEDEE TYPING service. Rea
sonable. 345-1658.
WILL type student papers 688
7286.
TYPING, near campus, graduate
approved. 345-9678.
TYPING—Fast Service. 344-8930.
ACCURATE TYPING. 344-5781.
TRAVEL
VISIT Russia and Israel or Is
rael, Rumania, Bulgaria, Yugo
slavia, Czechoslovakia, Poland,
or Spain and North Africa. $999.
Hotels, meals, sightseeing, jet,
roundtrip from New York. San
dra Hano, 4548 Banner Drive,
Long Beach, Calif. 90807,
LOST AND FOUND
LOST: Tiny black terrier near
14th and Ililyard Tuesday af-tei^
noon. Did she follow you home?
343 3841.
FOUND: sweater at 17th and Kin
caid. Must identify. Physical
Plant.
LOST at Villard Hall: Girl’s black
J. C. Higgins 3-spee-d bicycle.
Reward. Call 344-4558.
BLACK umbrella lost April 20.
Chapman Hall. Please return,
sentimental value. 343-2462.
LOST: Brown wallet Friday 343
4443.
LOST: Pair of glasses and green
jacket. Reward. Ext. 1646. Rich.
FOUND: A candidate who wants
to help the students*. Vote Gragg.
PERSONAL
PETITIONS are now available
for Asklepiads pre-medical hon
rorary in box. 301 SU, or call
Jerry. 344-9153.
SAVE Coke and Tab bottle caps
to buy a slave May 4.
ATTENTION: Spring Picnic is
cancelled.
BAHA'I: Faith for Modern Man.
Susan Campbell Friday noon.
WHAT can BART POSTON do for
you?
STOP NS A — Vote Davis.
NO Senate stands—Vote Davis.
SUPPORT Creeks — Vote Davis.
ED DAVIS for ASUO Senate.
McCLOSKEY — Who? ? ? ? !
GRAGG?!?!
T V. RENTALS
NEW SETS
Donovan's TV Center
225 W. 7th Avenue
Call 343-1821 for rates