A Bachelors Point of View
Marriage First Step to Divorce
Editor's Note: The point-of
view is strictly that of Mr.
Green. No responsibility for the
ideas Is claimed by the editors.
By STEVE GREEN
There are probably those who
will say an article on divorce has
no place in the Spring Bridal
Edition but when you consider
that Oregon and California have
the highest divorce rates in the
nation, any prospective bride
should consider herself a prospec
tive divorcee, too, and plan her
first marriage accordingly.
First of all. a girl should con
sider exactly why she's getting
married. If you were to ask one
ot the unfair or opposing sex her
reason, she most likely would re
spond with three classical reasons
—love, happiness, and duty. The
latter of the three could more
appropriately be termed security,
but like nationalism, that's a word
that we like to find substitutes
for. So we'll call it duty.
Now. let's consider these three
factors a little more closely and
see how they could ultimately
lead to divorce.
Practically all prospective bride
divorcees (in this sense, the two
words are almost interchangeable)
think they're in love. Ambrose
Bierce defines the word love as
"a temporary insanity, cureable
by marriage.”
Bierce goes on to say that this
disease, like gout, is prevalent
only among civilized races living
under artificial conditions; bar
barous nations breathing pure air
and eating simple foods enjoy
immunity from its revenges.
Headed for the Rocks
So we can readily see that any
marriage based on love—espe
cially those that spring from a
University community — are
headed for the rocks. For what is
more artificial than the atmos
phere that surrounds a university
community? (and Oregon slab
burners and pulp mills certainly
are not very conducive to pure
air).
Once married, half the battle
is lost already for the the new
bride moves out of the artificial
university into the reality of dirty
diapers, no more monthly checks
from home, a disagreeable part
ner . . . and more dirty diapers.
Before she knows it, the love dis
■ ease is cured. The only thing re
! mainihg is the polluted atmos
. phere.
The second factor as you re
I member, was happiness. Bierce
| defines this as “an agreeable sen
sation arising from contemplating
the misery of another.”
The prospective bride-divorcee
can take consolation in the fact
that her friends who don't marry
' are really more miserable than
she, for they will never know
the joy of supporting a husband
while he finishes school. They
won t have the opportunity of
coming home to a cozy "love-nest”
after putting in an eight-hour
. shift as a waitress and being
greeted by dirty dishes, laundry,
and a husband who can’t wait to
get out of the house so that she
can take care of the brat. And
then there’s always the possibility
that she will have another little
one to support—an ulcer.
Sees ‘‘Misery’
The more she sees the "misery”
of her independent friends, the
more she might be inclined to
think the g^ass is greener else
where. And that’s a require
ment for a prospective divorcee.
Thirdly is the tacior that really
does make for a successful mar
riage. Security, or duty as we
call it, in this case, is that which
impels us in the direction of profit
i along the line of desire.
A marriage that is founded on
j duty is usually successful if the
prospective bride divorcee has the
foresight to choose a rich hus
band, for when everything else
fails, money can practically al
ways keep two people together.
Hut if the husband gets wise to
the fact that all he is is a meal
ticket, this could lead to a di
vorcec too. Presuming, of course,
that it is the husband, not the
wife, who has tht money.
From this, it is easy to see why
the prospective bride-divorcee is
practically headed down the aisle
of the divorce court as soon as a
ring is clamped on to her finger
So during her first or "exeri
mental" marriage, she should plan
for the second and the interim
period between them.
In choosing an area to live, the
prospective bride-divorcee should
pick a state which has strict di
vorce laws (alimony, child sup
port, etc ). There is no reason
why she should have to go to
work during the interim period
When acquiring household
good and furniture, buy things of
good lasting quality. Chances are
the bride-divorcee will get most of
it in the divorce settlement.
Don't Buy Anything Engraved
Of course, the cardinal rule is
don’t buy anything engraved' If
the divorcee's initials were C.H.
in her first marriage, for instance,
it would be very awkward to use
silverware with those initials en
graved on it in the second mar
riage. Someone might think she
lifted it from a hotel. Besides,
it will be worth more if she
wants to pawn it.
If you must have children,
it might be best not to have
them until you are sure that the
experimental marriage will work
Children always complicate a
divorce and you might have trou
ble trapping a husband if you
have an established family.
But above all. remember the
poor .slob has ii 1(’H»I nhli'"iHon *o
support you, the bride-divorcee,
i and when you decide to tinload
him. don’t let him net out of it
cheap If he has to work harder
to pay alimony it will probably be
ftood for him. besides it miuht
even help to stimulate the econ
omy.
To the fellows who may b*
reading this, don’t be too (Iis
appointed no matter wnai nap
pens, you don't have a chance
anyway. There are only two
kinds of women: plain women in
u wicked league with the devil,
and attractive women with wick
edness, a league beyond the devil.
When it comes to marriage, lie
inn draft-exempt is the only place
where men are going to win any
way.
Buttons Set Style
In Mens Clothes
Clothes may make the man, but
buttons set the style this season
in this fashion game of "button,
j button, who’s got the button’’’
the sleeve and pocket buttons on
men’s clothing olfer the clue as
to just how high-style his suit is.
The fewer the buttons, the
newer and more fashionable the
suit.
The buttonless trend began
about three years ago, according
to an authority on the disappear
ing button, as a natural step in
the evolution of a slimmer, trim
mer, leaner look to clothing.
This trend gained impetus from
its espousal by the late Presi
dent Kennedy Today, two years
since its introduction in moderate
priced clothing, the two-button
"fashion" suit comprises 50 per
cent of the sales of big clothing
firms.
The conservative, whether he
is the natural shoulder type or
not, still finds three buttons on
his suit jacket. Hut the man with
two buttons on his jacket is one
step up the fashion ladder. The
fashion-minded lad sporting a
single button on his jacket sleeve
is wearing the newest suit of all.
The current trend of stvline.
i with its trimming (town or elimi
nating all unnecessary touches,
giving a clean, trim look to the
clothing, may possibly indicate a
movement towards the elimina
(ion of buttons entirely in the
future.
Today's one-button suit has
‘other distinguishing marks In ad
dition to the lost buttons, it has
no jacket vents, no breast pocket
and no (laps The trousers have
side tabs, no cuffs, and are trim
and narrow.
The one-button suit also sports
high, square shoulders and newly
shaped lapels
The button trend also applies
to sport jackets, with the one
. button sport jacket the newest
fashion entry for "after-hours"
: leisure wear.
Hand in hand with the disap
pearing button are the vanishing
trouser pleats. Men have dis
covered, like women did much
earlier, that less hulk means a
trimmer look Today the majority
of trousers produced are without
pleats.
Buttons and pleats may be van
ishing from the fashion scene,
but their absence may spell new
fashion excitement for the
“stronger" sex."
CHERYL GHILARDI, a senior in speech therapy, is shown here con
templating the unseasonable (lor Oregon, anyway) sunshine in a
turquoise and white checked bikini—while not generally accepted
as proper a few years ago—can now be seen on almost any beach.