Abigail Van Buren Delights Journalists with Wit, Advice
By KATHY COOK
Emerald \\ omen’s Editor
"I don’t think the kids are any
worse than they’ve ever been; it’s
the adults who are delinquent.”
That was the capsule comment
of popular columnist Abigail Van
Buren. who appeared in person to
answer the many questions of
college and high school women's
editors Monday in Portland.
The chic Abby. in real life a
39-year-old San Mateo, Calif
housewife. captivated her young
audience with an assortment of
opinions, anecdotes and witty re
plies on a wide range of topics.
‘Kids the Same'
Attired in a sleek black sheath
Abby told her listeners that "kids
stay the same. If we have any
problems in the conducts of the
youth, it's because the adults
have relaxed their standards."
Abby had quick and ready an
swers for all inquirers. One high
school girl asked this mother of
high schoolers if her children's
friends came to her for advice. .
“Oh. yes." she answered. “But
fifct of all they come over to get
a look at me. I don't know if they
think I’m a freak or something,
but they always look first, then
we sit down and talk."
Family Avid Readers
“My own family takes me about
the least seriously of anyone—
sometimes my kids come home
from school wondering what
‘Abby’ had to say,” she said with
a twinkle in her eye.
“ ‘I guess I'll have to start
reading your column. Mom','- her
concerned son said one day, “ ‘all
For a flattering face frame
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Use these to fill in your new
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the kuis read it and talk about
what Abby is saving and 1 never
know what’s going on'.”
Abby operates from her home
with a large staff of secretaries
and consultants. Receiving more
than 7,000 letters a week, she re
plies to each one. either by direct
mail or in the 80 papers using
, her syndicated column.
Friends Consulted
Among her consultants are a
Jewish rabbi, a Catholic priest
I and a Methodist minister. ”1 also
rely on a large group of friends
for advice.” she confided. "I have
a friend who is a psychologist
. and I'm always giving him a
! buzz.”
"One of the things I have to
decide when I read a letter is
whether to cry on the writer's
shoulder or to give him a kick
in the pants,” remarked Abby.
She added that “it doesn't do a
person any good if you always
'cry along with him' on a prob
lem.” “I tell them what I think,”
I she asserted.
Daily Tally Told
Sketching her column's usual
format, Abby told of her daily
list: an oldster's plea, a teen-age
letter, an “odd ball" and an'un
! faithful husband letter — along
with a “confidential.”
“X get at least a hundred letters
a week from moon-struck teen
age girls who claim they are
madly in love with boys they see
in the hall who don’t always speak
first,” Abby recalled. " 'Should I
say hi! first, or wait for him?'
they wonder."
Her stock reply was, “Of course
you should speak first!”
Marital Trouble ‘Popular’
Marital problems are her most
frequent complaint, followed by
teenage crises, such as “ 'my
mother doesn't understand me'.”
“Tm the baby in the group1”
and ”'ail the kids do things I
; can't'," ranked high in Abby's
"frequent” department.
• I also get hundreds of letters
from non-signers," Abby dis
closed. She stai'ts these letters
; with such names as “To Betty
Bank Clerk" or "Dear Harriet
Hypochondriac."
Her work doesn't interfere with
! her homemaking life, Abby in
sisted. ”1 get up at tl. eat with
' my husband, then have a second
; breakfast with the children at
j 7:45," she related.
Work Km!-* at 8
‘•At 8:30, my secretary arrives
i and we work until noon. I have
lunch on a tray and work until
j 3. when the kids get home from
| school. That's it, I’m through with
I work!”
Abby started her career by
writing for the San Francisco
Chronicle. Two weeks after she
began her column, she was syndi
I cated. "The New York Daily
Mirror saw my column and then
| everybody wanted it,” she ex
! claimed.
“'Dear Abby” appeared just six
1 weeks after Ann Landers, Miss
Van Buren’s sister in real life,
started her similar column in
Chicago.
‘Still Friends’
”Yes. we’re still friends," Abby
chuckled. “The only competition
we have js from our syndicates—
they don’t like the idea that we’re
sisters!”
Abby told her listeners that "I
get my real satisfaction from
helping people; I’m like that.”
Heel lifts now come in a non
clicking. nerve calming plastic
that is largely nylon. These nylon
"new'-heels" also boast the long
wearing qualities of nylon.
"If I weren't writing my column,
IM be working for the polio foun
dation or training grey ladies,''
she said.
Psychiatry Is listed among
Afcby’s writing aids to "be able
to give the best advice I can."
Sincerely Itewanllog
"The thing that really makes
my work worthwhile," Abby re
flected, “is when I get a letter
from a reader who sincerely
wants advice, like the one from
a 17-year-old Palo Alto boy."
The boy, in trouble with a 19
yonr-old-glrl, ho lit ii stamped,
self-addressed envelope lor my
reply. she explained.
"A couple of day* later, hU
father railed mo and thanked n ••
personally for the help I'd given
his son. Ho said if there was ever
anything ho could do to help me.
Just to say the word," she re
ported.
"Letters like thin one make the
Job gratifying." Abby concluded,
as ahe whirled away to another
In a series of speaking appear
ances in the Portland area.
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