+ EMERALD EDITORIALS +
8000Eyes
The platforms of campus political parties
have a way of becoming mere expediencies of
the moment rather than a guide to be fol
lowed throughout the coming year.
We think the major reason is the element
from which most campus activities suffer
—lack of continuity and a constant turn
over of personnel. The student body offi
cers for next year have already been
elected, student government shouldn't suf
fer from this ailment, but some of the men
who drafted the platforms will be gone.
For this reason, we hope the Emerald and
U1S, as the minority and thus the opposition
party, will help to make certain that the ACS
platform of this spring is carried out. or at
least that good attempts are made to carry
it out during the 1955-56 school year.
Frequently the Emerald has fallen down
on its job—the job of reminding the senate
and the ASUO of the promises made the
preceding spring. This, we hope, won't hap
pen next year.
Take a brief look at the things that AGS
stated as its goals for the coming school
year—and these in addition to the standard
jobs such as -running the various activity
weekends:
1. Elimination of discrimination against
Greek living organizations through the use
of pledge fees by the office of student af
fairs ;
2. Examination of the deferred living
program;
3. Two o’clock closing hours on Satur
day night;
4. Discontinuance of the all-campus pri
mary ;
5. Permanent continuance of the Canoe
Fete and eventual restoration of the Mill
race;
6. Functional innovation in the legisla
tive and executive branches of our student
government;
7. Popular election of the yell king.
We've talked it over with the people we
assume will be running the Emerald next
year.
Their eyes will be on the campaign prom
ises of this spring—and through them the
eyes of the campus.
Never Again
It’s a strange world. The people, us among
them, who were hoping and praying that
Oregon would finally have a sunny spring
term are now limping around muttering
tilings like "Damned old sun," etc.
The good weather for which we’ve all
hoped and prayed comes along and what
happens? Everyone squints at the sun
(much like a mole emerging from his hole)
then eagerly disrobes and gallops to the
beach, the roof, the lawn or some similarly
horrible place and gets burned nearly to
death by the strange stuff which has re
placed the rain clouds in the sky.
The night after this overindulgence, we
toss, turn, curse ourselves and the sun, and
just generally feel miserable. Then, worse
yet, we have to co^er up with scratchy
clothes — all clothes now seem scratchy —
and pass through the sun again in order to
reach class.
People who have always seemed like good
fellows, and who are smart enough not to
spend an entire day in the sun, begin to ap
pear as fiends, slapping your burnt back,
arms, legs, or something and saying nasty
things like "Hello, red man,” "look at the
lobster,” etc.
There's no escaping the consequences,
either. You think to yourself, “I’m so sick
from sunburn that I’d better stay in bed
today." It doesn't work — you can’t sleep,
anyway, and just have to borrow someone’s
notes for the class you missed.
People begin to divide into rival camps
—those who use baby oil, those who claim
that only that gooey ointment the infirm
ary dishes out can possibly offer any relief,
those who take showers and those who
don’t and all kinds of degrees of sufferers
and healers, each offering his own solu
tion.
In conclusion—life is horrible, the sun is
terrible, we ll XKYER stay in the sun too
long again.
Xot, at least, until tomorrow.
Footnotes
Pre-election remark by one of the leading
candidates—"The primary is not responsible
for this year’s poor candidates.”
INTERPRETING THE NEWS
Allied Confidence Is Boosted by
Addition of Germany to West Fold
By J. M. ROBERTS
Associated Press News Analyst
The Western Allies, by incor
porating Germany into their
ranks, now face more confident
ly a long-term showdown with
Russia ov^r the future of Eu
rope.
Thursday was a natural time
for optimistic statements, and
there is no dearth of them.
Perhaps the most optimistic
was that of Secretary Dulles,
LETTERS
TO THE EDITOR
Thanks and Good Luck
Emerald Editor:
Congratulations and good luck
to the new senate. May its re
freshing enthusiasm not die “his
tory’s natural death.”
X wish to thank my many
new friends, whom I have met
since my enrollment here last
term, for their wholehearted
support and encouragement in
the recent elecction. Through
these active student thinkers I
have won far more than one can
ever lose in any race.
Bob Biggs
Lobbyist
who said Russian policy had
failed.
If that should turn out to be
true it will not be verified until
after some tumultuous death
throes.
In some v.-ay it appears more
likely that a new battle for
Germany is just beginning.
The one great concrete fact un
derlying the whole situation is
that Germany is not yet re
armed. The position of strength
from which the Allies have al
ways hoped they might be able
to reach negotiated settlements
with Russia requires divisions,
not merely the promise of divi
sions. It is hardly conceivable
that Russia will play dead while
they are being created.
Despite her heavy economic
claims, Russia is pay ing a high
political price for a neutral
ized Austria winch can be
used as bait and a stimulation
of the German desire for re
unification.
A four-power conference on
the future of Germany now is
being worked out.
If the Russians come to that
conference with a demand for
neutralization, offering in return
the withdrawal of troops from
East Germany and free elections,
the impact on German politics
will be terrific. Not only that,
but serious differences are like
ly to develop among the Allies
themselves.
Heretofore they have resisted
Russian offers of a general Eu
ropean non-aggression pact, and
to make disarmament agree
ments, recognizing the proposals
as efforts to prevent German re
armament.
You have only to look back a
few months, to the travail
through which France passed in
agreeing to a German military
revival, to understand the temp
tation offered in that quarter
by a neutralized Germany.
There will also be uncertain
ty, carefully nurtured by Mos
cow, as to whether Russia may
actually be doing what every
one has hoped she would do—
relax her pressures rather than
continue the risk of war with
the NATO powers.
All this points to upheaval,
rather than any immediate hope
of relaxed Elast-West tensions.
The time for really putting
the pressure on the Russians
will come when France and Ger
many have had a period in which
to prove the workability of their
new entente, and when those
German divisions are in the
field.
P#id Adv«r(l»»m#nl—
'OnCaraptK«"ii,»
(Author of "liarefoot Hoy »y»A Cheek," ete.)
THE GIFT IIORSE
Many of our friends will soon be graduating. What kind of
gifts should we give them?
Here is no simple question. It is never simple to find gifts for
people who have everything, and college students, us everyone
knows, are the most richly endowed of mortals. They've got
beauty and truth. They’ve got rhythm. They’ve got stout hearts,
willing hands, and a clear vision that dispels the miasmas of the
future as the morning sun sears away the last wisps of a cool
night's fog. They’ve got heaps and heaps of money, as who would
not who has been receiving such a huge allowance over four
years of schooling?
What can we give them that they don’t already have?
One infallible gift for the person who has everything is, of
course, a stethoscopei New models, featuring sequined earpieces
and power steering, are now on display at your local surgical
supply house. Accompanying each stethoscope is a gift card with
this lovely poem:
When you hear your heart beat.
When you hear it /* und.
Remember me, your buddy,
William Henry Hound.
If, by some odd chance, your name does not happen to 1m»
William Henry Round (you’re laughing, but it’s possible/, here
is another dandy suggestion for the person who has everything
— a gift certificate from the American Bar Association.
These certificates, good at your local lawyer's, come in three
convenient sizes: small, medium, and large. The small certificate
covers title searches and writs of estoppel. The medium size
covers torts, claim jumping, and violations of the Smoot-llawley
Act. The large one covers kidnapping, murder, and barratry.
If, by some odd chance, you don't know what barratry is
(you’re laughing, but it's possible /, it is arson at sea. Thjs inter
esting crime is called after Cosmo ‘‘Bubbles" Barrat, a captain
in the British navy during the last century, who was addicted U>
burning his ships. One man o’ war after another fell victim to
his incendiary bent. The Admiralty kept getting crosser and
crosser, but every time they called in Captain Barrat for a
scolding, he would roll his big blue eyes and tug his forelock and
promise faithfully never to do it again. Oh, butter wouldn’t
m**lt in his mouth, that one!
So they would give him another ship, and he would soon reduce
it to a .scattering of charred spars. He burned more than 120,000
ships before he was finally discharged as "doubtful officer
material.”
After his separation from the navy, he moved to Vienna where
he changed his name to Freud and invented Scrabble.
But I digress. I was listing gifts for the person who has every
thing, and here is another one. This gift, in fact, is not only for
persons who have everything, it is also for persons who have
nothing, for persons who have next to nothing, for persons who
have next to everything, and for persons in between. 1 refer,
of course, to Philip Morris cigarettes. Here in the cigarette
for everybody-for everybody, that is, who likes a mild relaxing
smoke of fine vintage tobacco in a handsome brown package
that snaps open with the greatest of ease. For those, if such
there be, who like dull, nondescript tobacco in a package that
requires a burglar’s kit to open, Philip Morris is definitely the
wrong gift.
Among the newer gifts that warrant your attention is a revolu
tionary development in the enjoyment of recorded music. This
is the Low-Fi Phonograph. The Low-Fi, product of years of
patient research, has so little fidelity to the record you put on
it that if, for example, you put Stardust on the turntable.
Melancholy Baby will come out. This is an especially welcome
gift for people who hate Stardust.
Finally there is Sigafoos Shaving Cream, a brand new kind
of cream that makes whiskers grow in instead of out. You just
bite them off in the morning.
• Ma* Mluiliitan. 1853
To Mux't Wfcgrtlion to girt- PHILIP MORRIS for graduation, the
makers of PHILIP MORRIS, who bruin you thin column, add a
hearty amen.
©r'ecjor?
frEGOLO
lh» Oregon Daily Emerald i» published fiw days a we.k .luring the school tear exiept
examination and vacation periods, hy the Student I'ul.li. ation* Hoard of the I’mvt. t> ,f
Oregon. Entered ax second class matter at the po l offn . , Eugene, Oregon. Subscription
rae.s: $5 per school year; $2 a trrm.
Opinions expressed on the editorial pages are those of the writer and do not pretend to
represent the opinion* of the ASl.'O or the I’niters,tj. ( i,signed editorials ate written by
the editor; initiated editorial* hy members of the editorial board.
JEWRY UAH KEEL, Editor DONNA R! MililtC. II,is:,,, , M... . s r
_ DICK LEWIS, SALLY RYAN, Associate Editors
i'Al’I. KKEI-K, Managing Kditoi 111 LI. ,\l A i\\VA l( I\t i, Adtn ti
CORDON RICE, News Editor NANCY SHAW, Office Manager
_JERRY CLAUSSEN, CHOCK Ml'Hmi.MtTRETT'ol^trEdiiTffs ''
^DlfORlAL BOARD; Jerry Harrell, Paul Keefe, Dick Lewis, Gordon Rice, Jackie
Wardell Rice, Sally Ryan.
( hief Makeup Editor: Sam Vahey
Ass’t Managing Editors: Valerie Hersh,
Dorothy Her.
Ass’t News Editors: Mary Alice Allen,
( arol Craig, Anne Hill, Anne Ritchey,
Bob Robinson
)■ eature Editor: Dave Sherman
Morgue Editor: Kathy Morrison
W omen’s Page Co Editors-! Sally Jo (Jreig,
Marcia Mauney
Ass't Sports Editor: Buzz Nelson
Manuging Assistant: Sanford Milkcs
Adv. Mgr.: I.aura Morris
1 n< illation Mgr.: Kick Hayden
A 't Office Mgr.: Ann Kaakkonen
f la* sifted Adv. : 1’at (unhide
Layout Manager : Hick Kor.
Kxecutive Secretary: Beverly Landon
A ''t Adv. Mgr.: Kvtdyn Nelson
I'hotography Kdiior: Dale Turner
I'hotogi a|»htrs: Larry Spaulding, Rodney
Sunderland.