DAY AT THE ZOO
(Continued from page two)
had no corner on the horrible
pun market >.
The WhtM'ifrs hail built a
new Coliseum for the game,
and the Gucks said how lovely
and tried not to notice that the
Coliseum was really only a
hole dug in the ground with a
little rainwater in the bottom.
The Gucks lined up along one
side, looking small, and the
Wheezers lined up along the
other, looking like Wheezers,
\\ hieh was no good on a day
the wind wasn't right. As the
Wheezer team took the field, ]
the Wheezers all chanted:
“Slice ’em in the jugular, kick
and slug.
Maim ’em with a broken open
sheep-dip jug;
Stomp ’em in the stomach,
pump 'em full of lead,
Bang, bang, ayeeee! aaarrrgh!
Gucks. you’re dead!"
very loudly. Which was enough
to make you concede the game,
if you were timid.
However, the Gucks were not,
feeling too terribly timid that
year because they had Real
George, who at about that time
came onto the field with the
other Gucks. The Gucks gave a
liberal arts type yell, which fol
lows :
“Guckland. Guckland uber alles
tEven though your trees aren’t
talles’);
Richard. Richard, por favor
Open up that touchdown door: j
Gather ye first downs while ye j
may—
We w'ant a touchdown s’il vous
plais!’’
First thing, just out of habit,
the Wheezers made a touch
down. But then the inevitable
happened; it became obvious
that this theory about you can
have too much of a good thing
applies^to tails. The Wheezers
spent the entire game trying
to carry their tails around
the field, while Real George
went around making touch
downs and things which help
considerably in winning foot
ball games.
The 'Wheezers were at a com
plete loss. They were so sur
prised that they couldn’t eat
their self-congratulatory dinner.
The Indians, w'hen they heard
about it, seriously considered
CLASSIFIEDS
Card Tables—metal with color
ful plastic tops, $4.95 (were
$7.95). Occasional tables, 25%.
Floor lamps now- $10, (were
$191. Buy new and used fur
niture at Thrift Dept. John
son's Furniture, 649 Willam
ette. “S&H Green Stamps.
11-23
PIANOS—Guaranteed used up
rights. Fully reconditionad at
prices students can afford.
Liberal terms, Ph. 3-3514. J. B.
DONOVAN, Home of 5 Fa
mous Pianos. Across from Bon
Marche parking. 8th and
Charnel ton. 11-20
Lost: Nov. 10th—Beta Frater
nity pin. “Norman Weekly”
engraved on back. Please no
tify Joanne Kerr, Ph. 4-6814.
11-25
Brown leather billfold lost near
Rush Inn. Finder please con
tact Mary Martin at 1040
Ferry, Apt. 301 or phone
3-2783. 11-24
Wanted: part-time bookkeeper.
Approx. 10 hours a week. Close
to campus. Please give quali
fications. Write to Emerald
classified. 12-2
FOUND: A man’s watch and an
Oriental necklace. Claim from
Gene Bailey in SU’s adminis
tration office. ll-12tf
Lost: Noise parade trophy from
Susan Campbell. Terrific en
tertainment for its return. Call
388. 11-22
Left Cuber’s Sociology Common
wealth 212 week of Nov. 1.
Leave at Commonwealth 209.
11-23
ALL KINDS of mending, my
home, 2745 Kincaid. Phone
3-1302. 12-6
Tutoring in English. Call 3-3509
mornings or evenings. 12-8
Deadline Set Tuesday
For Draft Applications
Deadline for submitting ap
plications for the Dec. 9 selec- j
tive service college qualification
test is midnight Tuesday.
Application blanks and infor
mation bulletins, with sample
questions, may be obtained by
students from the nearest local
board. Students are to mail ap
plications to Science Research
Associates, Chicago, Illinois.
In order to apply for the test,
a student must intend to request
deferment as a student, taking a
full-time course and not have
previously taken the test.
The hext scheduled test will be
April 21, 1955. Students whose
academic year ends in January
are urged to take the Dec. 9 test
so they wall have a test score in
their cover sheets before the end
of the academic year.
At that time their boards re
open and reconsider their cases
to determine whether they should
be deferred as students.
Present criteria for deferment
as an undergraduate student are'
either a satisfactory score (70)
on the selective service college
qualification test or specified
coming back from Stanford,
since things were slow' at Stan
ford. And the Gucks went home
slapping each other on the bill
and saying toujours gai and go
to hell, and mixed several tubsful
of Coca Cola on the rocks.
rank In class (upper half of the
males in the freshman class, '
upper two-thirds of th# males in
the sophomore class .and upper
three-fourth of the males in the
junior classt.
Students accepted for admis- j
sion to, or in attendance at, a
graduate school after July 1,
1961, satisfy the criteria if they
ranked among the upper one half
of the male members of their
senior class or tnade a score of
75 or better on the test.
Graduate students admitted
after Jan. 1, 1955 must have
ranked among the upper one
fourth of the male members of
their senior class or make a score
of 80 or better on the qualifica
tion test.
Philadelphia, Pika
Pictures Scheduled
Philadelphia house and Pi
Kappa Alpha will have Oregana
pictures taken today from 9 un
til 5 p.m.
Wednesday is the last day stu
dents may reschedule pictures
for the Oregana. Students should
see John Shaffer, photography
editor, at the Oregana office be
tween 1 and 5 p.m. to schedule
makeups.
Pi Kappa Phi and Sederstrom
will have Oregana pictures tak
en Tuesday,
Campus Briefs
0 Any car owner* who have
room for passenger* are urged
to contact Hums Walker or Dick
Allen at the YMCA office'for
the ride pool.
9 Amphibians will meet to
night at Gerlinger pool. All mem
bers and pledges should attend.
Testing for Initiation will begin
at 7:30.
0 Barbara Master, .to Vnne
Lundy and Richard Lawson were
confined to the infirmary Sunday
for medical attention, according
to hospital records.
_
^ AWS Christmas tea com
mittee will meet at 4 p.m. today
In the AWS room on the third
floor of the Student • Union, ac
cording to Margaret Tyler, chair
man.
^ All Oregmut staff members
are to meet Monday at 4 p.m. in
the Student Union. The mom
will be posted on the bulletin
board. It is important that all
members attend, according to
Cob Southwell, editor.
0 Head* of House* will meet
today at 4 p.m. in the Student
Union, according to Ruth Joseph,
vice-president.
0 All memlter* of the Student
Union art gallery committee are
requested to be present at the
coffee hour today at 4 p.m. hon
oring William Justema, accord
ing to Bob Koutek, chairman of
the committee.
Oregon to Choose
Best Dressed Male
A present-day "Beau Bruni
mcll" will 1m* selected from Ore
gon's male students In contest
which begins today and ends
Dec. 3.
Men’s living organizations will
nominate a "Beau BrunimeU"
candidate at house meetings to
night. The names of contestants
are to be turned in to Barbara
Wilcox at Sigma Kappa or Eve
lyn Nelson at Hendricks.
The winner of the contest will
receive a dinner, limousine serv
ice, a cashmere sweater, a
year's theater pass, a leather bill
fold. and a trophy from MOM.
A similar contest at the Univer
sity of Illinois and the selection
of best-dress Portland business
men tins aided In placing a new
emphasis on men's uttire.
GammaMen Cheer
Ducks From Plane
Oregon spirit hit a p* ak at
Saturday's victory over OSO
when four Gamma hall men
cheered their team from 1500
feet above Parker stadium in a
small airplane.
Pilot Paul Gouy and his three
passengers, Hal Williams, Jack
Bllben and Bob Koutek rented a
plane from McKenzie airfield ami
circled the OAC playing field.
They dropped three rolls of toil
et tlasue which were enthusias
tically applauded by the ground
ed fans.
No filter Compares with
for Quality or Effectiveness!
S
Actress Diana Lynn: This is the
best filter of all—L&M’s Miracle Tip.
The smoke is mild, yet full of flavor.
^ "■in.mi 111 ii m
Mr. and Mrs. Slu Erwin, star* of TV’s great “Stu
Erwin Show”: As wc say on TV, this certainly
ii the Miracle Tip. L&M’s filler beats ’em all.
w%.
Mrs. Laddie Sanford, Socialite:
I I smoke L&Ms ... so do most of my
friends.Wonderful filter...fine taste!
Enjoy Much More Flavor, Much Less Nicotine
WHAT is it that makes L&M the most
talked-about, most eagerly accepted,
the fastest growing cigarette of all time?
Just this. It’s the filter that counts—and
none compares with L&M’s MiracleTip. You
get much more flavor, much less nicotine—a
light and mild smoke. That’s efTecfive filtra
tion. No other cigarette has it!
Why wait to try I.&Ms? Discover for your
self what more and more filter tip smokers
are finding out every day: L&Ms are just
what the doctor ordered.
America’s Best Filter Cigarette!
f**"""KING SIZE & REGULAR
© Loom & Mmi Tomcco Ca