Oregon Daily
EMERALD
The Oregon Daily Emerald it published Monday through Friday during the college year
from Sept. 15 to June 3, except Nov. 16. 25 through >0, Dec. 7 through 9, 11 through Jan. 4
March 8 through 10, 12 through 29, May J, and 31 through June 2, with issues on Nov. 21,
Jan. 23. and May 8, by the Student Publications Board of the University of Oregon. En
tered as second class matter at the poet office, Eugene, Oregon. Subscription rates: fS par
School year; $2 per term.
Opinions expressed on the editorial page are those of the writer and do not pretend to
represent the opinions of the ASUO or of the University. Unsigned editorials are written by
die editor; initialed editorials by the associate editors
ELSIE SCHILLER. Editor
DICK CARTER. Business Manager
Election Today
Today's election day- Sure, it's “only” the primary — the big
show doesn't come till May 5.
The primary system being used today is a “first.” Until
this year the parties have run their own primaries. We like
the new system. We think it is more democratic, and by elim
inating double filing it gives more people a chance to parti
cipate in student government.
Today is a test oi this new system. We'd like to see it a
success.
It’s well worth your while to vote today. There are some
good races in both parties, battles between well matched and
qualified candidates.
Think about your vote — don’t waste it just because can
didate X is a pal of yours. Consider the kind of job he will do
for you in the senate. If he wins, he'll be representing you
Be sure you understand the technique of marking your bal
lot. Don't waste your vote by marking x's instead of numbers
in the preferential type ballots. If you don't understand, ask
the voting booth attendent.
Polls are open until 6 p. m.—we’ve voted, have you?—(J.W.)
Rain Scares Sprinklers
Where are those sprinklers hiding? We’ve had three compar
atively rainless days, with no sprinklers appearing to upset
campus life and throw rainbows over the sidewalks.
Last week it was a different story. The only day of the week
on which the sun really shone and the wet grounds of winter
began to dry was the day the sprinklers came out. Furthermore,
as the day went by and the sun ducked behind the raindrops,
the sprinklers played just as merrily upon the walks, rain or
no rain
How have we been so fortunate as to enjoy two days of strol
ling from class to class without racing through streams of
spray ?
If by some strange turn of fate the weather remains clear
and sunnj’- for the rest of the week, which is doubtful, how long
can the superintendent of sprinklers resist covering sidewalks,
its well as lawns, with water?
We all know (or should know) that without water, artificial
ly administered or otherwise, the lawns will look like the old
brown pasture land. But, by golly, the sidewalks won’t be any
different, watered or unwatered. And neither will the students.
The least the men with the hoses can do is leave one or two
walks in each direction free for pedestrian travel. Then we can
look at it philosophically and put up with the spinning mon
sters when they come. —(R.M.)
Well Say
r
“Then, again, some schools are quite open about subsidizing their
athletes.”
-A Day at the Zoo
All-Campus Revolution Dies Aborning
by Bob Funk
Emorald Columnist
Those who are convinced that
they have callings frflm Heaven
should first inquire if they, like
Henny-Penny, have merely been
hit by an acorn.
—Memoirs of a I-ife ut Sea
(Synopsis of preceding in
stallments: Fate, in the fascin
ating and somehow strangely dis
turbing form of
v.uuiimuii.'n opjr
ALICE M A L
ICE, was stalk
ing the campus
of a university
in the Far
West. Alice had
carefully nur
tured the virile
weed of revolt,
and the campus
was in a state
oi unresi, agitation. Senator
DEUTERONOMY SQUIRM sped
westward by rail to a destiny he
wotted not — but he modestly
thought he was probably going to
Save the Nation, or maybe the
World. He was accompanied by
his collection of wax figures with
pins stuck in them.
Dr. MARION CLARION of
foreign languages, a frustrated
idealist who had indigestion,
degrees, and an unhappy child
hood. had bee* caught in the
web of revolution. So bad beau
tiful JANET PLANET and
clean-cut campus leader IG
NACE RONGSISTER. The
curtain rises for the last time.)
The night was wet and dark,
and the wind was ill. Four fig
ures crept stealthily out of the
bushes near the faculty club.
They were Dr. Clarion, Ignace
Rongsister, and Janet Planet, led
by Alice Malice. They were, his
tory will tell, members of the
Campus Cell for the All-Campus
Revolution.
"I have a rendezvous with
Death upon some—”
“Baby,” breathed Alice Malice
(and although she breathed it,
it was no less an interruption),
“there is no time for loose talk.
We must act, and act quickly.
We will use the well-known
Communist zig-zag system of de
struction of the frde and filthily
capitalistic world.”
“I only signed out for Max’s,”
whined Janet Planet nervously.
“I sure hope we kids don't get
caught out here.” Janet was
lugging a large dynamite
charge complete with fuse. She
was known as Detonation
Chairman.
“After this is over, baby, we’ll
do the catching ourselves,” said
Alice, “Possibly we’ll do some
thing about the housemother.”
“We could get rid of her in one
of those programs,” Janet agreed,
brightening.
Ignace was peering toward
the now dark Administration
Building. Dr. Clarion was peer
ing at the Pioneer Father. This
was to be the evening that the
Pioneer Father would finally
glimpse the Pioneer Mother
over the smoking ruins of the
Administration Building.
They knelt in the damp grass;
Alice read an invocation from
the Communist Manifesto; the
world was turning, faster and
faster. The All-Campus Revolu
tion was about to begin.
* * * *
Meanwhile, Senator Squirm
had arrived on ramptis. mo nun
rather thoroughly Investigated a
downtown bar, and then made
his way stealthily to the Uni
versity. He thought the whole
place smelled somehow Commun
istic (ho did not know about the
plywood plant).
The place to look for Com
munists, The Senator told him
self, was in bushes. For a time he
made a fruitless search; the
only things in back of bushes,
he found, wore buildings. No
matter how you slid it around in
your mind, a building could not
be a Communist,
He had just ahoid given up
when lo, he spotted a Commun
ist, a very tall Communist,
standing in tin- very middle of
some bushes.
"Are you now or have you ever
been a member of the Party?”
yelled Senator Squirm. The
Communist did not answer.
"Aha! A constitutional safe
guard man! A lousy fifth amend
ment man!” Senator Squirm
shook with joy. “You may feel
very tall tonight. Pinky, but to
morrow there will be a subpeor.a,
and after that questions, and
after that OBLIVION.”
The Communist did not re
spond. Senator Squirm stuck
a pin in un ull-purpo*e Com
munist wax figure and walked
across the street. He stood fac
ing the Administration Build
ing; it was ruining very hard,
and it Is terribly hard to think
about how you are saving the
Nation and may In* the World
when rain is going down your
neck.
Senator Squirm took shelter on
the front porch of the building,
waiting for the rain to let up. He
amused himself by sticking a
pin in a wax figure of his grand
mother.
• • • •
Dr. Clarion. Placement Chair
man, trembled up the front steps
of the Administration Building
with the bundle of dynamite. It
occurred to him that he had
never blown up an Administra
tion Building before; he thought
of Ernest Hemingway and Pilar.
He was so preoccupied that he
almost ran into Senator Squirm.
The meeting with Senator
Squirm completely unnerved him.
“Excuse me,” he blurted;
and then — “Would you mind
keeping my dynamite for me ?”
He thrust the bundle into the
.Senator’s arms, and ran down
the steps, breathing heavily.
Dynamite! Probably evidence,
thought Senator Squirm. W’here
there was dynamite there were
Communists. In his excitement
he stuck a pin meant for the
wax mother into the non-wax
dynamite.
• • • •
In the bushes near the Fac
ulty dub, the Campus Cell wait
ed for the explosion. Dr. Clarion
was speechless with shock; no
one knew of his encounter with
Squirm.
There was a flash of fire,
and a sound of thunder; and
instead of the Administration
Building going up In little
pieces, Senator Squirm shot
skyward toward Kingdom
Come, or wherever Investiga
tors go.
It need hardly be said that this
turn of events was a great dis
appointment to the Cell. Alice
Now Playing — Wednesday thru Saturday
THE BIG
HEAT
A COLUMBIA PICTURt
- •*» ALEXANDER SCOURBY • LEE MARVIN • JEANETTE NOLAN • Sc/m Aliy by SYDNEY BOEHM . i
Utft upon the SATUBDAY EVENING POST urul by WM/mi P McGt««n • Pfrtvctb by ROBERT ARTHUR • DI/kM by FRITZ LANG
Also At the
•l'llWirYTL
rOY At Af ^LES*
fARD
NDRTH.END—
Veronica Hurst
I N_C O L O R
HWY 93 N • ! MI N QV
Millin' uegan pining away, ami
eventually turned to religion.
Janet Planet married. Ignuce
Kongsister became President of
the United StateH. Dr. Clarion
got tenure.
Ah for the Communist Party
In general. It found that with
out Senator S«|iiiriu it wan no
fun at all tiring Communist;
and eventually It too lost Its
allure. H degenerated Into a
social organization which held
Suturduy-night dances.
The Pioneer Father never did
see the Pioneer Mother. Psycho
logy, however, nays that < xj>e< -
tation la often better than the
real thing.
THE END
(and Just barely In time, too)
$25 Award Offered
In Poetry Contest
An award of f2.r» will be present
ed to the winner of the Julia Bur
gess Poetry competition, sponsor
ed by the English department. The
undergraduate student who sub
mits the best original poem will
receive the annual prize.
There is no restriction as to the
type of poetry submitted, but the
manuscripts should be typewritten
and double spaced and submitted
in triplicate by May 7. Short poems
should be turned in with a group
of three to five selections The
name of the author should not ap
pear on the manuscript but should
lie enclosed in a separate envelope
with the title of the poem.
Interested students may contact
the English department for further
details.
French Club to Work
On Staging of 'Knock'
The French club will meet Wed
nesday at 7:30 p. m. In the work
shop of the University theater to
help in the construction of nets for
the French play "Knock."
Anyone who is interested in
working with the publicity, stag
ing, costumes and further arrange
ments for the production should
call J. E. Guedenet, assistant pro
fessor of romance languages, in
Friendly 202.
He*. here,
M campus now— \
!o (hew yev hew le...
•arn over
*5000 a year..*
become an officer
In the air force.. *
get a hood start
In |et aviation. * *
be a part of a great
flying team. • •
as an Avimtlo* Cod./.
See him while you can.
I
j Lt. T. M. Loyd and
Aviation Cadet se
lection team 109 will
be at the Student
Union for today
only. He will be
available between
the hours of 9 a. m.
and 4 p. m. to those
desiring further in
i formation on career
opportunities in the
Air Force.