On wan daily _ s __
EMERALD
The Okbgon Ujailt GvtiAti published Monday through Friday during the college year
•Kcept Jan. 5: Feb. 23: Mar. 2, 3, 5, 9, 10 and 11; Mar. 13 through 30; June 1, 2 and 3 hy the
Student Publications Board of the University of Oregon.^ Entered
___— .___ - __ as second class matter
_”the post" office. Eugene, Oregon. Subscription rates”: $5 per school year; $2 per term.
Opinions expressed^ on the editorial page are those of the writer and do not pretend to
gepresent the opinions of the ASUO or of the University. Editorials are written by the
gditor and the members of the editorial staff.
Jim Haycox, Editor
Ron Brown, Business Manager
The Sinner's Graduation
By BOB FUNK, Emerald Columnist
Once in a damp but otherwise rather pleasant forest located some
what south of Highway 99, there lived an assortment of animals, in
cluding a large, furry animal called an Administration; a small, un
combed animal classified as an Undergraduate; and a strange, belliger
ent animal known as the Sinner. The Sinner had originally been known
As the Senior; time and reputation had altered the word.
These three animals lived in a more or less neighborly fashion, grub
bing about under stones and logs for small morsels of Knowledge and
Good Times, which comprised their diet. If one could have chosen which
,#f the animals one was to be, one would have chosen to be the Admin
istration. The Administration was the largest and furriest, and was
usually thought of as Boss. Certainly one would never have chosen to
be the Undergraduate; not if one had ever seen the Undergraduate,
even from a distance.
And probably one would not have chosen to be the Sinner. The Sinner
was a great problem to everyone, everyone being the other two animals.
At first everyone tried not to notice the strange way the Sinner was
acting, outrageous as it was. To begin with, the Sinner began refusing
to do its Part. Just what one’s part was in this forest no one quite
knew, but everyone did agree that one should do one’s Part. One morn
ing the Sinner refused to get up at seven. At ten it said a bad word
to the Undergraduate, who attempted to rouse it.
At one p.m. it shambled over to where the Administration and the
Undergraduate were just finishing off a really nice snack of Knowledges
and Good Times which they had gathered, and complained about there
wot being anything to eat.
“The early bird gets the Knowledge,” remonstrated the Administra
tion, gently.
“Early to bed and early to rise,” began the Undergraduate obnox
iously, but before it could finish the Sinner took its paw and shoved
it into the Undergraduate’s mouth. It was quite impolite.
Later that week the Sinner had some shattering experience with the
opposite sex, and the Undergraduate and the Administration began to
find empty brown battles strewn about labeled “Heart-balm.’’ On Sat
urday night the Sinner sat up all night, carousing, surrounded by bot
tles of Heart-balm, singing what only the Sinner could have thought
was a song.
Finally it became Too Much for everyone. The Undergraduate and
the Administration had a board meeting, and the Administration, as
chairman of the board, appointed itself a Standing Committee to In
vestigate the Unfortunate Behavior of the Sinner, and Report Tomor
row. There was another board meeting Tomorrow, which was as it
happened the next day.
When the meeting got as far as Committee Reports, and Administra
tion rose grandly. The Undergraduate clapped.
“I have been considering this matter very seriously," said the Ad
ministration.
“Hear, hear!” shouted the Undergraduate enthusiastically.
“And I recommend to this body that it is time to get rid of—er, en
courage the Sinner to go Elsewhere.” And at this time the Under
graduate gave the Administration a Standing Ovation, which fairly
shook the forest.
“Therefore, as chairman of this committee I move that the Sinner
fce given a Diploma, in lieu of an invitation to Green Pastures." And
after the Undergraduate and the Administration had passed the motion,
and had had a small parade around and around a tree, the Administra
tion sat down and scrawled “B. A.” on a»piece of bark with its toenail.
That night, the Administration and the Undegraduate approached
the Sinner, who was just about to open another bottle of Heart-balm,
a,nd presented it with the Diploma. The Sinner looked at it, upside
4own, and after coughing politely the Administration read it to the
Sinner, and gave a short speech on its Significance.
A strange light came into the Sinner’s eyes, and for a moment it
looked almost pleasant. Then, carrying to bottle if Heart-balm in its
teeth, it walked out of the forest toward San Francisco. The Under
graduate and the Administration accompanied it to the edge of the
forest, whistling “Pomp and Circumstance.”
After that, evqpything was different. Everyone (everyone was still
just two) did his Part. No one sat around all night carousing and drink
ing Heart-balm. No one got up at noon and wondered why all the
Knowledges were eaten.
But for all that, it was rather lonely. The Undergraduate went to
Visit the Administration, and on weekends the Administration went
to visit the Undergraduate; and they had parties, of a sort. But on
^fcuiet evenings the Administration would wander to the road and look
ladly down toward San Francisco, and wonder; and the Undergraduate
would climb a particularly tall tree from which he thought he could
. see the lights of San Francisco (it was really only Drain), and he
Would wonder, too.
And every once in a whole they would get together and have just a
Small sip of Heart-balm, in remembrance of the Sinner, B.A.
Service Group Holds Initiation
Twenty sophomore women were
initiated Thursday into Phi Theta
Vpsilon, junior women’s service
honorary. Officers for next year
were elected.
New Phi Theta officers are Shir
ley Wendt, president; Sue Fuller,
Vice-president; Sylvia Wingard,
treasurer; Yvonne Holm, secretary,
and Janet Wick, historian.
Initiated into the honorary were
£>onna Trebbe, Rosemary Hamp
ton, Laura Sturges, Mary Wilson,
Lois Powell, Nan Mimnaugh, Bob
bette Gilmore, Nancy Randolph,
Gloria Lee, Marian Cass, Jackie
Wardell, Dorothy Kopp, Ann
Blackwell, Tina Fisk, Mary Whit
aker, Miss Wendt, Miss Holm, Miss
Wick, Miss Wingard and Miss
Fuller.
Initiation took place at the Delta
Gamma house, with a banquet at
the Lynwood cafe after the cere
mony for the old and new honorary
members. 1
Suede Tall Tales
KWAX Feature
Prof. Ned Suede of the Uni
versity anthropology department
will tell of his latest adventures
in the Amazon tonight on Lem
on Punch, according to KWAX
announcer Thorne Briar. The
show, which will be heard at
6:15, was recorded in South
America where Suede went in
search of 8 foot tall Amazon
women for the University's
hockey team.
Suede received his BA at Co
burg City college and then did
further study at North Goshen
Tech where he received his LLD,
PhD and 3-D. One of Suede's
achievements is the translation
of the native tom-toms. Huring
the recording, he translates a
very mysterious message per
taining to the use of Feenamint.
Suede also tells about the perils
of the trip and how he was very
lucky in not losing more than
18 native boys a day on the ex
pedition. ' -
Local Gleemen
To Sing Tonight
The Eugene Gleemen, directed
by Theodore Kratt, dean' of the
school of music, will appear in
their annual concert for associate
members in the music school aud
itorium at 8:15 p.m. tonight.
The special concert, which is not
open to the public, will consist of
request numbers sent in by the
members.
In addition to Kratt and Stacey
Green, associate professor of mu
sic, who is accompanist for the
group, there are a number of Uni
versity alumnae and faculty mem
bers singing with the Gleemen.
Mrs. Carlson Head
Of Oregon Mothers
Mrs. C. F.lmer Carlson. Portland,
has been elected president of the
Oregon Mothers club for the com
ing year. She succeeds Mrs. John
Caughell, Salem.
Mrs. M. N. Dielschneider, The
Dalles, was elected vice-president
of the organization. Other officers
elected at the annual meeting of
the organization include Mrs. F.
Douglas Wright, Portland, secre
tary; Mrs. W. D. Miller, Klamath
Falls, treasurer; Mrs. James T.
Walton, Salem, financial secretary;
and Mrs. Manning Barber, Eugene, j
corresponding secretary.
The new board of directors will
include Mrs Roy Perry, Mrs. Fred- j
erick Hartung, Mrs. R. J. Jones,
and Mrs. E. Stanley Goodell. all
of Portland; Mrs. Homer Parrish,!
Oswego; Mrs. Kenneth Moore, Mrs. J
Dean Micklewait and Mrs. Melvin
Gustafson, all of Eugene; Mrs.
Douglas White, Coos Bay; Mrs.
W. W. Wilkins, La Grande; Mrs.
F. Clinton Hart, North Bend; Mrs.
Charles Briggs, Rose burg; and
Mrs. John Carson and Mrs. Ralph
Hamilton, both of Salem.
Local chapter presidents named
included Mrs. C. L. Badgely, Port
land; Mrs. O. K. Burrell, Eugene;
Mrs. Melvin Alvey, Coos Bay;
Mrs. Lowell Kaup, Klamath Falls;
Mrs. Marie Wilkins, LaGrande;
Mrs. Milton Nou, Lakeview; Mrs.
George Vawter, Lebanon; Mrs.
Charles Briggs, Roseburg; Mrs. T.
R. Hobart, Salem; and Mrs. H.
Wright, San Francisco.
Unusual Corsages
Required For Ball
Corsages will be mandatory
for men attending the Mortar
Board Ball Saturday, according
to Phyllis Pearson, traditions
chairman. A prize will be award*
ed for the most outlandish spec
imen during the intermission,
Miss Pearson reports.
The women are to make the
corsages for their escorts. Sug
gested themes for the corsages
include something in line with
the man’s interests, personality,
or chosen occupation. Size is
also of importance.
Tickets for the dance are on
sale now at the Co-op and at
the Student Union for $1.80,
according to Lloydene Hurt, tick
ets chairman. They will also be
available at all women’s living
organizations and at the door.
Irrigation Teed Lines' Installed
The recently-installed pipe run
ning north and south along the
walk between the Journalism and
science buildings and across 13th
Ave. is one of the main feed lines
for the campus irrigation system,
according to W. U. Olsen, physical
plant engineer.
The new cast-iron permanent
pipe will replace a light-weight
temporary pipe purchased as war
surplus after World War II. In the
near future, two four-inch feed
3 UO Coeds Run
For Miss Eugene
Three University coeds entered
in the Junior Chamber of Com
merce-sponsored "Miss Eugene”
contest are Joice Balchr Loanne
Morgan and Jean Singleton.
Competing against two Eugene
residents, Kathleen Edmunds and
Evelyn Devereaux, the girls will
attend a Junior Chamber of Com
merce luncheon late this month,
be interviewed over KUGN Friday
on the "Black and Blue” show and
enter the city finals on Jund 4 at
the McDonald theater.
Miss Balch, a junior in liberal
arts from Longview, Wash., is
sponsored by Kaufman’s, with Rus
sell's sponsoring Loanne Morgan,
a Eugene sophomore in speech.
Jean Singleton of Bakersfield, Cal.,
is a fresman majoring in art.
Winner of the "Miss Eugene"
contest will compete for the title
of “Miss Oregon" at Seaside on
June 17-19.
In 1913, Oregon's Sigma Delta
Chi chapter became the first pro
fessional honorary fraternity on
the campus, the second chapter
on the coast, and the thirteenth
in the nation.
lines will be installed to aid In tho
irrigation of the old campus.
History Lecture
Due Tomorrow
Gordon Wright, ncad of the his
tory department, will speak on
"The State of France” in the Stu
dent Union browsing room Wed
nesday at 7:30 p.m.
A specialist in French politi
cal history, Wright spent 1950-51
in France studying French peas
ant politics. From 1945 to 1947
he was vice-consul and third sec
retary of the American embassy in
Paris with special duties as a po
litical analyst. During 1944 he was
retained by the state department
as a specialist on France.
Discussion leader for the talk
will be Chandler Beall, professor
of romance languages.
Cost Questionnaire
Return Requested
Only 20 of the 259 questionnaires
from the U. S. Department of Ed
ucation cost survey for colleges
and universities had been returned
to the office of student affairs
Thursday morning, according to
personnel handling the survey.
Oregon is one of the 100 colleges
and universities in the nation se
lected to participate in the survey.
A near 100 per cent return of the
questionnaires is essential to the
survey's success, Clifford L. Con
stance, faculty co-ordinator re
ports.
Those students who received the
questionnaires should return them
to the office of student affairs as
soon as possible. Constance urges.
Those not returned by May 20
will be traced by phone calls.
MR HUGH HARDYMAN
of the Southern ( allfornia Peace Crusade, l>tisinessnian, author
and lecturer, American delegate to the Asian and Pacific Regions
Peace conference held in Peking, China in Oct., 1952, will give a
public lecture at . . .
WESLEY HOUSE
1236 Kincaid Street, at 8:00 p.m.
Wednesday, May 20th
on the subject, “The People of New China.” A freewill offering
will be taken.
fyosi you* IftAiWf IflUup
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• Paper Napkins, Plates, Cups
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