FRED WAS NO HELP
Nothing Came--But the Coffee Call
by bob funk
He was sitting m Friendly
Fall. The taxpayers had, not long
ago, spent a tidy sum of money
in tearing' all the insides out of
Friendly Hall and making the
wiole thing different so that it
was the Perfect Atmosphere for
ti e Dissemination of Knowledge.
The light fell, just so, from the
fluorescent tubes; and the color
scheme was a combina
m of a color of gray called
“Think” and a color of yellow
« something’ called “Inspira
tion.” The heat was specially ad
justed for mental effort, and his
chair was specially contoured for
sitting in. He felt, to put it in
delicately, like hell.
It was mid-term time, and
life was at its nadir. One glance
a. the mid-term questions on
the blackboard had caused his
breakfast to permanently solid
ify in a solution of adrenin,
“Outline (giving specific’ ex-,
triples) the evolution of litera
ti: e from 1700* fea -i877, giving
■special attention'" fo“major move-,
a* -r.ts and their ramifications
upon the field as a whole (with
ieference to major authors!.
He iooked down at his desk.
Someone had written “Fred is
a Schmuckle" in blue ink. It was
rto’c at all helpful. Neither the
ward “Fred” nor the word
“Schmuckle” contained any val
uable clue as to the Field as a
Whole. He wondered if he could
iwve possibly read the question
v? ong, but didn’t dare to look at
it again.
The girl next to him was al
ready on page four of her blue
book. She was, he felt, the
- Evolution of Literature type,
fane had no face and no figure, -
and if you were a she and in
iilat sort of condition you
Fright as well be the Evolution
of Literature type as any other
type, he decided. She was prob
ably sorting out major authors
in her mind, listing them one
two-three and so on, trying to
decide whieh ones to discuss.
He wondered if she were the
professor’s daughter. Or his
mother. From the way she
breathed estatically as her fond
eyes discovered each new ques
tion, he decided that she was the
mother. He bet that she said
literature with a hard “T", and
said nyew instead of noo. He
wished that a large literature
book with a hard “T” would fall
on her and mangle her horribly.
* The professor was standing be
hind his desk, smiling affably.
He was about to make some Lit
tle Joke about the test. It would
be a wee, dry joke, directed to
ward the Treasured few who
were able to contrive answers to
the test questions. The Trea
sured Few would cherish the
morsel for a moment, and then
laugh in sophisticated appre
ciation.
He opened his pen and ap
plied it experimentally to the
paper, missing the professor's
joke. The pen had ink in it, un
fortunately. He wrote his name
and the name of the course,
which he remembered from
somewhere, and then began on
question I.
“The evolution of literature
from 1700 to 1S77.” he wrote,
“presents an intricate pattern of
veins of literary thought from
previous periods and those which
come to flower during the period
in question. In general, there
were two major movements: the
conventional movement, which
adhered to concepts previously
established; and the radical
movement, which did not. Some
of the conventional authors were
better than some of the radical
authors; but on closer examina
tion most of the authorities agree
An-Oasis in the Water
Water 30 feet tfeip surr§u53s Bergen op Zoom. Nearby
Wtolen Bland ha's'ilisappeared, with 20*3 sleeping inhabitants.
-Survivors climbed from their beds to rooftops, and sat there
ip*, two or three da.>a.hefore being rescued. They poured into
Ootid-wrecked Bergen op Zoom.
The average reader is shocked when confronted with
news of The Netherlands disaster. Imagine then, how a per
son whose home and family are in the flood area feels.
-Bergen op Zoom is a small town on the southwest coast of
35be Netherlands, on the estuary of the river Scheldt. It is
1*0me to Wim Van Eekeren, who studied at Oregon last
yfinr, and his friend Costje.
Bill says his first feeling was one of helplessness. Then “an
impulsive thought brought the idea that we could be an
easy link between you and the unfortunate people of Tholen
island:’* So he decided to collect money, and sent out a mim
eographed letter of appeal for his townspeople, who must re
■tioild their homes for the third time in 10 years.
-I >ean Gordon A. Sabine will accept contributions at the
ifjtei-r-nalism school until Wednesday.—H.J.
Orman Dailu
The Oregon Daily Emerald published Monday through Friday during the college year
jjjjjgmept Jan. S; Mar. 9, 10 and 11; Mar. 13 through 30; June 1, 2 and 3 by the Student Publi
ca&Hts Board of-the University of Oregon. Entered as second class matter at the post office,
Bto^cne, Oregon. Subscription rates: $5 per school year; $2 per term.
Opinions expressed on the editorial page are those of the writer and do not pretend to
• .'•tfiifcsent tue opinions of the ASUO or of the University. Editorials are written by the
eS»or and the members of the editorial staff.
ff*.HA¥C9X, Editor Sally Thurston, Business Manager
Helen Jones, Larry Hobart, Al Karr, Associate Editors
Bill Gvrsey, Managing Editor
Sam .Yahf.y, Sports Editor
■iJdKMLfe WAROELL, News Editor
Managing Editors: Paul Keefe,
Dick Carter
'jUat. News Editors: Laurd S tinges, Lea
Calvert, Joe Gardner
Wire Editors: Lorna Divis, Andy Salmins,
Virginia Dailey
Nat’l Advertising Manager: Carolyn Silva
Layout Manager: Jim Solidum
Classified Advertising Manager: Beverly
DcMatt
that some of the radical authors
were better than some of the
conservative authors.
“It is to be noted that—” and
here he had to cross out con
siderable material which he felt
was too dangerously specific.
This incident interrupted his
stream of thought, and he found
himself staring morbidly at
“Fred is a Schmuckle.”
The girl next to him had
raised her hand, and the pro
fessor was bending over her.
“I just wondered," she whis
pered eagerly, “whether in
question four you had in mind
the baroque movement or may
be a mutation of the Corin
thian?" The professor ha
rumphed happily and said that
well, we can't tell, can we, but
then, we probably couldn't go
wrong with either.
It was possible to go out into
the hall to smoke cigarettes. He
had always considered this a par
- ticularly liberal policy, but he
didn't smoke so he had never
gone into the hall. He thought
he just might go out and get a
drink of water or something.
Out in the hall it was not
very interesting. He went over
to the drinking fountain and
drank some water, which was
warm. He could hear the
scratch of pens back in the
mid-term room, outlining the
evolution of literature. He
could hear the genteel laugh
ter as the professor told an
other little joke.
It was, he decided, not enough.
All the thought-colored walls and
the sitting-contoured seats were
not greater than a call for coffee
that came to him urgently, prob
ably from the direction of the
Student Union. The handle of the
door of Friendly Hall was cool
to the touch, and the air outside
was cooler. He had to go clear
around the building to avoid
walking past the mid-term room.
He would, he decided, as the
memory of question I grew
faint behind him, have to cool
the final.
Notes to the Editor
Three cheers and Bravo to Van >
-§>ijk for his opinion of Student
"Government."
(signed)
Jim Dobson.
Traffic Officials
Hold Conference
The Regional Traffic Court con
ference, attended by traffic
judges, enforcement officials, jus
tices of the peace and city offi
cials concerned with traffic prob
lems from all over the Northwest,
opened on campus Monday and
continue through VVednesda y.
Headquarters for the conference
is Fenton 207.
The conference is sponsored by
the school of law and the general
extension division of the Oregon
State System of Higher Education
in conjunction with the American
Bar association and the Traffic in
stitute of Northwestern uni
versity.
Students and faculty interested
in current traffic problems may
attend any of the sessions. The-'
three-day program includes
several demonstrations of safety
considerations on the road, lec
tures and discussion periods. The
program is under the direction of
James P. Economos, director of
the Traffic Court program of the
American Bar association, assisted
by Robert L. Donigan, counsel for
the Northwestern Traffic in
stitute.
Heads Will Roll
“\Vp must have failed to proof read all of my new text, .Miss Slurp
why parts of this chapter are written so clearly I even understand it.”
Minority Group Leaders
Discussed By NAACP
Minority-group leaders whose main objective is to keep
up good relations with the dominant group in society were
the subject of a discussion Monday evenijig by Herbert liisno,
professor of sociology.
Speaking at an informal meeting of the local chapter of the
national Association for the Ad
vancement of Colored People,
Bisno described the function of th"
conciliatory “accommodating lead
er” in the present world ciisis.
Bisno contrasted the “accommo
dating leaders" of racial, religious
and economic groups with the
“protest leaders," who are more j
interested in improving the lot of
their groups than in keeping up
good relations with the majority.
A room moda t i n g
“A large pait of the leadership
of minority groups is of the ac-!
commodating type," Bisno said
“Since the leaders generally are
people who have been successful
under the status quo, they tend to
be less interested in promoting
change than other members of
their groups.”
As an example of the working
of accommodating leadership,
Bisno described the reaction of the
Jewish community to the Rosen
berg case. Most Jewish newspapers
have been emphatic in their de
nouncement of the Rosenbergs, he
said, in order to prevent any sus
picion of pro-communist leanings.
“Jews want to be 200 per cent
Americans," he said. “Their fear
isn’t baseless—they have a long
history of persecution.”
The phase of accommodating
leadership which Bisno examined
most carefully is the refusal of
minority leaders to become in
volved in controversies over woild
affairs.
YW Commissioner
Named to Kwama
Ethel Reeves, sophomore in lib
eral arts, has been tapped for mem
beVship in Kwama, sophomore
women’s service honorary. Miss
Reeves was- tapped to ' replace
Noreen Johnson who is not in
school this term.
Among the activities of her
freshman year were Duck Preview
and Pad's ^Day luncheon, She is
a past president of the YWCA
freshman commission. This year
Miss Reeves served on the regis
tration committee for Homecom
ing week and is a member of the
YW sophomore cabinet.
Chairmen Named
For 'Service7 Fund
Nan Mimnaugh, sophomore in
English, anil Mary Wilson, sopho
more in liberal arts, have been
named chairmen of the World Stu
dent Service Fund this year.
According to Miss Mimnaugh,
the drive may be made into a year
long project instead of lasting for
only a week.
Money collected during the drive
from countries throughout the
world is used to further higher
education in nations where lack of
facilities, books and equipment
make college programs difficult.
Petitions are now being called
for chairmen of the all-campus
vodvil during Duck Preview to
raise money for the fund. They
may be turned into the ASUO of
fice or to Jane Simpson, president
of the University Religions coun
cil, at the YWCA. Deadline is next
Monday.
Student Ski Enthusiasts
To Organize New Club
Students interested in organiz
ing a Ski club on campus are
asked to come to an organization
meeting of the club tonight at
6:30 in the Student Union, Emil
Smith, acting president, has an
nounced.
The purpose of the club will be
to promote and encourage college
students who wish to ski, Smith
said. The Tri-Pass Ski club has
offered the students assistance in
organizing.
At tonight’s meeting permanent
officers will be elected, the pro
posed constitution ratified anti
tentative plans for a future pro
gram will be made. In the line of
a program for. the dub, Smith
said that the club hopes to plan
a social calendar including trips
to. the Willamette and Santram
ski areas.
A- x