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EMERALD
The Orecon Daily Emerald is published Monday through Friday during the college year,
recent examination and holiday periods, with issues on iTomecorning Saturday «nd Juiimr
Weekend Saturday by the Associated students of the University of Oregon. Entered as sec
'•id class matter at the post office, Eugene. Oregon. Subscription rates: J5 per school >ear. S2
per term.
tr term. , . A _
Opinions expressed on the editorial page are those of tho. writer and do not pretend to
represent the opinions of the AS1TO or of the Uniwrsity. Initialed editorials are written by
the associate editors. Unsigned editorials **■- written by the editor.
Lorna Larsox, Editor
Abbott Paine, Business Manager
Phil Bettbni, Managing Editor
GaETcasN Gbondaul, Bill Clothibr, Dow Dewet, Associate Editors
Gbetcheh Grife, Advertising Manager
News Editor: Larry Hobart
Assistant Managing Editor: Bill Frye
Night Editor: Sarah Turnbull
Sports Editor: Bill Gurney
Ass’t Sports Editor: Larry Larelle
Asst News Editors: Kathleen Fraser, Phil
Johnson. Ai Karr
Makeup Editors: Kathleen Fraser, Judy
McLoughlin, Harriet Walrath
Feature Editor: Ward Lindbeck
layout Manager: Jack Cady
Classified Ad Manager: Tom Matthcwf
Women s **«ge temor: uiauys oergem
Wire Editor: Tom Jaquea
Asst’t Wire Editors: Theda Jack, Mary
Ann Mowcry, Herb Yoremberg
Photographer: Pete Moc
Ass’t Photographer: C huck Plummer
Day Managers: Carolyn Silva, Carolee Tate,
Mary Waddell, Sally Thurston, Irene
Bullard , , _ _
Advertising Salesmen: Merle Davis, Janet
Petersen, Marcia Dutcher. Sue Mtkkel
sen, Denise Thum, VV ard Cook, Sally
liaseltine. Barbara Keller
No Masks Tonight In^Korea
We’d like to see more Hallowe’en parties tonight.
We’ll bet the U.N. and Communist troops in Korea would
rather be bobbing for apples than for each other's heads.
We’d rather the delegates at Panmunjom were haggling over
whether to have hard or soft cider for Hallowe’en celebration
than arguing the fate of thousands of human beings.
We wish that the world’s thousands of war orphans were
out “trick or treating” tonight, instead of begging for morsels
to keep themselves alive.
If the only dissension between the Iranians and the British
■was over a little soaping of windows, we’d be much happier.
There’ll be witches and goblins in the air tonight. But only
a few are of the Hallowe’en variety—too few. The ones we’re
thinking of have been flying day in and day out for as long as
we can remember. They’re the spirits all right—evil spirits of
hate, of greed, of distrust, of dishonesty, of misunderstanding.
They’re not the kindly, fun-provoking spirits that'll be flitting
around at our University Hallowe’en party, the type that, come
just on Oct. 31 each year.
We wish they were.
Quedt Isdu&Uol
A Solution to Flunking Out
Ed. Note: Here’s an idea that’s gone the long way around
to get to the Oregon campus.
On the editorial page of the University of Maryland’s “Daily
Diamondback,” we found the following “Solution to Flunk
Out Problem” first developed in the “Cavalier Daily” of the
University of Virginia. •
With tongue in cheek, we present the Virginia theory:
It seems that the University of Virginia has found a ready
solution to the old problem of flunking out of school, according
to “The Cavalier Daily.” To the rescue came Robert Tyson, of
tiie psychology and philosophy department of Hunter college.
Tyson’s success method, entitled “Ten Commandments on
How to Stay in Class,” is printed below. You're invited to rely
on it at your own risk and all complaints from flunk-outs
should be forwarded to psychology department, Hunter college.
1. Bring the professor newspaper clippings dealing with his
subject.. . demonstrates fiery interest and give him timely
items to mention in class. If you can’t find clippings dealing
with his subject, bring in clippings at random. He thinks
everything deals with his subject.
2. Look alert. Take notes eagerly. If you look at your watch,
don’t stare at it unbelievingly and shake it.
3. Nod frequently and murmur “How true!” To you this
seems exaggerated. To him, it’s quite objective.
4. Sit in front, near him (applies only if you intend to stay
awake). If you’re going to all the trouble of making a good
impression, you might as well let him know who you are, es
pecially in a large class.
5. Laugh at his jokes. You can tell. If he looks up from his
notes and smiles expectantly, he has told a joke.
6. Ask for outside reading. You don’t have to read it. Just ask.
7. If you must sleep, arrange to be called at the end of the
hour. It creates an unfavorable impression if the rest of the
class has left and you sit there alone, dozing.
8. Be sure the book you read during the lecture looks like a
book from the course. If you do math in psychology class and
psychology in math class, match the books for size and color.
9. Ask any questions you think he can answer. Conversely,
avoid announcing that you have found the answer to a ques
tion he couldn’t answer, and in your younger brother’s second
grade reader at that.
10. Call attention to his writing. Produces an exquisitely
pleasant experience connected with you. If you know he s
written a book or article, ask in class if he wrote it.
, As to whether or not you want to do some work, in addition
to all this, well, it’s controversial and up to the individual.
— Letters to the Editor—
Answer to Isolation
Emerald Editor:
Last week several freshmen ex
pressed to me their dissatisfac
tion with the deferred living pro
gram. It seems that their major
complaint was the feeling that
they were not an active part of
the University. All of them stated
that most of their acquaintances
were confined to the freshman
class. Considering the “taboo"
category to which they have been
sentenced, the freshmen caste in
deed have a legitimate plea.
It has been disappointing to
witness the result of this yoke
and even more disheartening to
discover the lackadaisical attitude
the freshmen have as to chang
ing the situation. Seniors have
often said that in the “good old
days when we were freshmen”
things would have been different.
I believe that this is an unfair
statement to make, and I am of
the opinion that the Class of ’55
is one of the most outstanding
classes to enter this University,
But merely to resign them
selves to the fact that they are
the victims of circumstance and
to do nothing about it suggests
that the freshman class is lack
ing in that spirit and initiative
which has characterized so many
of Its predecessors.
By way of "taking the Inill by
tbo horns” may I suggest that
the freshmen take a more active
part In school activities. For In
stance, the Fine raid has many
positions open for energetic stu
dents regardless of their class.
l-Ol those who are Interested, the
senate meetings are open to any
one, regardless of their class. At
the senate meetings you will
meet the people who are running
the school, students und faculty
alike. At the senate meetings you
will learn the way In which stu
dent government functions.
Another v/ay in which you may
dent body is participation in the
Hallowe'en party which is to be
held tonight. Muriel Hagendoom
and Gerry Pearson, who are
chairmen of the decoration and
entertainment committees, are
both in need of help, regardless of
class.
For those freshmen who are
dissatisfied with their existence
as campus "untouehuhies" 1 sug
gest getting off “your dime.”
Stewart McCollom
Hubert Feels Neglected
Kmerald Kditor:
Since the climax of the Joe
College-Betty Co-ed contest we
have been experiencing a feeling
-A Datj at the Zoo
A Davenport Replaces the Dog
As This[Fraternity's Best Friend
- Bv Bob FOnk-——
Due to pressure from the fra
ternal hearth (and who are we
to deny-the Call of the Bond?)
we are writing this column about
Teker honey. Teker honey is the
name given to
the dog-at the
place-we - live.
She had lived
there sporadi-'
cally and rath
er disinterest
edly for two or
three years,
until a couple
of weeks ago,
when T e k e r
honey disap
peared.
BOB FI N K
The disappearance or aeam m
a fraternity dog is usually a thing
to be met with tears and a journ
alistic essay on man’s best
friend. Fraternity dogs are men
tioned in the same reverent tone
of voice as the pass word. Not so
with Teker honey (we realize that
this is a horrible name to keep re
peating, but to call her Gertrude
would be falsifying the facts).
The last word of Teker honey
was from Straub Hall, that es
tablishment being in favor of our
coming over and taking the dog
home. Being used to Teker hon
ey’s nomadic ways, we ignored
the call from Straub. Two or
three sophomores lounged luxuri
antly on Teker honey’s private
davenport, and hoped she would
stay away a long time.
She did. Four or five days later
the house president noticed that
she was gone. This news was
privately cherished by several
persons who have had run-ins
with Teker honey.
About a week later, in house
meeting, it was decided that
someone ought to find Teker hon
ey. If put up to a vote, this idea
would have been crushed over
whelmingly.
It is not that Teker honey has
no friends at the place we live.
There are one or two. Actually,
however, Teker honey is pretty
awful, and no one is sure she is
even a dog.
One of her more lovable tricks
(in these pieces one always men
tions lovable tricks) was to walk
partway up the stairs and fall
down, putting her hip out Of
joint. The veterinarian, who is
now quite wealthy from hip-set
ting sessions, is one of the per
sons lobbying in our house meet
ing to get Teker honey back.
Teker honey also brought
friends (canine) home who wan
tiered abjectly about the house,
sometimes for days. These frienda
were often found sleeping on
one's bed or in the middle of one's
literature notes. It is to be feared
that Teker honey did not run
wiLh the beat crowd.
It has been contended, that
Teker honey was a boxer, but no
one is sure, and no one is going
to ask an authority. As for men
tality, Teker was non-existent.
There were some that said, how
ever, that she had a beautiful
soul. We doubt it.
Teker is now gone—some say
for better, some say for worse.
The house president and the vet
erinarian are looking for 'her.
However, if you see Teker honey,
do not call. Do not say a word.
Head her in the opposite direc
tion. It may be very brutal of us,
but given the choice of having
her back or sitting on the daven
port, the davenport would win
every time.
In this sedentary age, it may
well be the davenport that be
comes man’s best friend.
of growing discontent at not hav
ing seen our champion, Hubert.
Humanities. receiving the ac
claim that hus been d>'« tin.i
little-known entry. He haa he n
difficult to conaole I tils pant day.
Actually, lliihert may not en
joy the popular popularity tvhlcli
many of the entranta huve Inin
receiving, hut well, in the words
of the eliamplon lilmaelf, lie en
joy* the more "epicurean ile.
lights of competent approhutlon."
But Hubert la no snob, noslrrc!
He may be aeen any morning (in
cluding Satin day i Bometlmo !«■
tween six and seven o'clock, with
hla familiar grey ault ahlny
though It may be In spot* nimb
ly pedaling ilia bike from Straub
hall toward Heady. Ilia t he. ly
and resounding saluatlona arc
familiar to many an early riser
on the University campus. Him.
Phi Beta Kappa key swings
Jauntily beneath his vest, for Hu
bert believe* that discretion is
really the better^>art of exhibi
tionism.
Although this regretfully llttlc
knoun entrant In our recent i nn^
test Is taking his Ph-I). in Mid
dle-Eastern Transcendental Phil
osophy, his life Is not one of i i.ii
t in nit I study. Muny a lively game
of chess has he played of a Sat
urday evening and he Is reputed
to be one of the “big guns of
chess" among Ills eirrle of friends.
Anil oh yes Hubert has a
love life, the thought of whieli
cheers him through his long eve
nings of study. He has modestly
confessed that he and ills "little
sweetheart from Mills college"
have been keeping quite steady
company for the last 13 years He
added, in a slightly plaintive
voice, however, that she is tak
ing her "master’s” at Bampi jm
college, French Equatorial Af
rica. This far Hubert has classi
fied and catalogued 729 Ways to
Pop the Question, and hopes fur
early success.
Incidentally, Hubert sees many
interesting facets In the number
729, and hopes to study them at
an early date.
Hmm—when? did I leave my
glasses ?
Eric Norot ad
Omega Hall
the Mvufue...
10 YEARS AGO
Oct. 31, 1941 — The dean of
women announces 1 o'clock per
mission for girls attending the
Whlskerlno.
20 YEARS AGO
Oet. 31, 1931 — Organ grid
team travels to New York City
to face the New York Unlversjjfcjf
Violets in Yankee Stadium.
Anti-Flunk Compound
,cf $
fP'o ''
“He’ll be the only guy in history to laugh himself to a college degree.”