Living-in
Prog ram
Set Up
.Ml freshmen men and women
■\\ ill los e in the veteran's dormi
tories starting next fall term.
With this simple statement
hairy Houncin. Ol'AS presi
dent, exploded the latest dope
on the-Oregon Plan tor deferred
living.
4 "Thin is a new wrinkle on livlng
Sn " leered Bouncln, "To my knowl
etlge no other cam pun has made
aiirh a Herculean effort to provide
the entire freshman class with a
common background during then
first year in college.
Mot hern Support Plan
Bounctn reported that the Ore
gon Mothers and Panhellenlc had
thrown their entire support be
hind the new plan.
"We are supporting this new
plan," said an Oregon Mother who
has no daughters in college, "be
cause we feel that such a set-up
will enable the freshmen class to
know one another far better than
Is usually the case."
Hot Rock, director of men’s af
falis with women, said the unlver- (
slty has established a policy of
following the advice of the Oregon
Mothers, Panhellenlc, Jim Aiken,
and the student body in such
matters.
\dministrutlnn Says OK
"If Bouncln isn't lying through
his teeth," grinned Rock. "We will
m; ke plans to set up co-educational
dormitories for men and women
next fall. We want everybody to be
happy."
Jim Aiken was sceptical about
the whole thing.
"I don’t know about this," said
'll you hate nothiii</ better to dc.
teliy nnl turn to />at,e 7 f)
Bouncin Gives
Farewell Talk
On I/O Seal
by FhIter Wait in
At 12:01 a m. Monday morning,
OUAS President Fairy Bouncin
•strode confidently from the en
trance of the Erb Memorial Stu
dent Union into the thrones of stu
dents who had turned out to wit
ness the delivery of his 'farewell
j address.
President Fairy surveyed the
moonlit scene of thousands of stu
dents dressed in apparel ranging
from tuxedos and formals to dor-1
rnitory night clothes all anxiously
I assembled to hear his final sage!
! words.
“My Students"
"Those arc my students," I
. thought Fairy ns he halted the
measured procession through the 1
throng that parted in front of him)
to visually inspect a small blonde I
girl dressed in a flimsy nigthie.
But one of his faithful attendents ,
elbowed him back to reality and he
resumed the measured cadence of
the march down the central walk.
President Fairy and his party
halted in front of the great seal of
Oregon. He looked at the seal rev
erently as the crowd gathered in
closely to be able to catch all of!
his solem words.
One of the president's attendents,
kneit at his feet. The attendent |
fumbled with the president's shoe
laces m the near darkness. The
president stood waiting patiently
with an expression that reassured
the crowd ihat they were about
to witness an event that would be,
recorded in the annals of the his
tory of Oregon’s higher education.
Shorn Krmoved
When President Fairy's shoes
had been removed he again regard-!
ed the gathering in silence, then!
the gre.-.t Oregon seal, and finally
his yellow florescent socks. His
(If you have nothing heller to
why not turn to page 8?)
WRITER SURVIVES HORRIBLE TORTURES
Sinister Machinations
Of Discipline Group
Told to Daily Emerald
(Editor'* note: the writer of
thl* article Mas brought before
the Student Discipline ( ommitee
on a moral* charge; he was ac
cu*«d of grinding out a cigar
ette on the Oregon Seal. His
experiences while appearing be
fore Ipe committee are related
In full. Naturally, he must re
main anonymous.)
ByJ. S.
I O IX !• IK M A R(Special
tn the Kmcrald)—1 survived an
interview with the Student Dis
cipline Committee!
I was brought before it on a
morals charge; I wa> seen
grinding out a cigarette on the
Oregon Seal. As this act was
committed at 2 a m., I'm not
sure how J was found out; hut I
understand the committee lias a
little (‘.cstapo of its own.
They brought me to trial the
next day lollow
ing a night of
■sleepless horror.
I had hern treat
ed to the worst
form of torture
placed in a store
room with thou
sands of cans of |
beer and no can
ipener.
I appeared be-'
ore the commit
THIS IS J. S.
tee, and was asked to give my
j story. I asked first if they would
| m'n'l removing the bamboo splin
ters from under my fingernails,
j This request was refused.
j You are accused of stepping on
i Ihc Oregon Seal, and of smoking
in public, one beetle-browed com
I mittee member roarde. “Just ad- '
i mit everything, and we'll let you!
j off with a light sentence.” * . )
j Uncoiling what was left of my j
I right arm from the cat-o-nine-tails j
j held by the sergeant-at-arms, I
j protested that I had done nothing: i
j that my crime was committed'
j every day by someone.
“Yeh, but we caught you.” an- j
I other committeman gloated. “ We ll:
: make an example of you.”
Given Choice
■you have your choice.” he con- j
tinuod. while the guard slit the legs
’ of my trousers and applied graph
ite to my temples. “Admit every-!
thing, and we ll only expell you. We
think you re protecting someone—
| is she a woman?”
"Whatever gave you that idea," \
1 cried, as the guard strapped me 1
to the rack.
e have here the evidence,” he
answered. "You were smoking a
cigarette; examination of the stub
reveals it to be a Cavalier. You had
been rejected by this girl: you were
in front of the Student Union: you
noticed what brand of cigarettes
you were smoking. The word ‘Cav
alier’ reminded you of women; in
a rage you ground out the cigaretto
on the Seal. You see, we know all.”
"But that's not true,” I cried a -,
someone shoved a hose down mj
throat and turned on the water.
"You have no evidence; no proof.”
•Don’t Seed So Proof
"We don’t need no proof; we just
want to throw someone out of
school and let everyone know that
we are all-powerful.” he rasped
back, his voice as cutting as the
saw with which someone was hack
ing off my left arm.
I'll appeal to the public," I cried.
“You will not crucify man on a
cross of gold.”
"Appeal, schmappeal,” another
sneered. “It didn't do those two
athletes any good, and it won’t
help you. And what's this about
gold ? Maybe we can stick you
with an embezzlement charge too.”
By this time, my spirit—and
every bone in my body - was broke.
Sobbing. I confessed to everything,
and was told I would be allowed
three days to return to my home
in Split Lip, South Carolina.
I'm recovering now in the in
firmary, but I'm afraid I've taken
a turn for the nurse.
Bull Carry Blasted by Politicos
AS THOUSANDS CHEER
BJ l.L CARRY celebrates his victory in
i recent election nt a celebration of the tri
umph of the Amalgamated Geek Students
over the 1 ntied Students Disassoclation.
Also shown at the celebration, held at Hot
Hocks, are “Fop" Peters’ son, right, who
made a plea for leniency toward Lee K.
Faucet, expelled from the faculty for un
disclosed reasons. At left is I p And Adam,
( hief Justice of the Fruit Cup Supreme
( ourt, who attended the celebration to
make sure all parked cars were equipped
with student parking permits. Peeking out
between Carry and Peters' son is Bernie
' Houdlni, a spy from the defeated party.
Students Charge
Prexy Has Failed
To Fulfill Pledges
J resident-elect "Bull Carry was condemned today by Greeks
aiul Independents and Ghosts (of the USA, former political
pait\ at the l niversity) for failure to carry out campaign prom
ises. His platform was "My platform is voii.”
Staunch Greek Slick McIIandling insists that all dormitories
.and independent living organizations be abolished after the first
month of 1'all term.
“Gou't get me wrong." Slick smoothly insinuated "we
i uiiTn> i ime rnoepennenis. wnv,
we even pledge ’em! But I think
independent living- organizations
have outlived theif nsefullness af
ter they are no longer a convenei
ent place to house potential frater
nity and sorority members.”
President-elect Carry said he
could not abolish dorms, etc., be
cause he didn't know what to do
with those students unacceptable
for Greek organizations.
“Simple.” insisted Simple Mc
Handling, “dismiss them from the
University. What have they come
here for,.if not to join a fraternity ?
Dtupf radicals! We ought to jrpp*
them out of the country with all
Democrats.'’
Staunch independent, Benita
April House, editor of the campus
fashion magazine and woman’s
page editor of the daily, challenged
Carry's ability to carry out his
platform.
'A ou no more could represent
me,” she murmured in a velvet
voice with a sultry undertone,
"than you could represent Vivian
Kellems. I won’t be satisfied un
less you abolish fraternities and
sororities, and force everyone to
live in a dormitory.”
Carry said ho coujd.not do this,
‘ i Hlft Sou feabttAotSmfftbmi* to dot*
why not turn to page Of)