Duckie Tracks
By SISTER MARY GILBERT
Theta Sigma Phi Sport
L lic rni nas moved in on Duck I racks.
One rather large right-foot track at the beginning of the mile
seems to match a left-foot track near the end of the same course,
an official source disclosed last night. Authorities are foot-print
ing e\ eiy man on campus in hopes that the culprit may be de
tected soon.
It isn t that I object to having the boys use both feet." Coach
jjill Flowerman explained, ‘‘but it seems unsportsmanlike to al
low the posterior portion of the pedal extremities to contact the
ground—the heels !”
Trackmen themselves had little to say. Some of them side
stepped the issue. Others goose-stepped, but they were careful
to leave no tracks.
In discussing the meet, one especially bold young man hinted
that the tape was red—or if not that, at least a livid pink. He said
that he was writing to Senator McCarthy requesting an investi
gation. <■
Pole-vaulting has reached a new high as Ducats* readied for
the PCC championship meet. Most of the lads were up in the air,
metaphorically speaking, but the administration was expected
to put the ceiling on before the next leap year.
Fencing has increased in popularity at Oregon this season.
Picket-fencing has edged out lattice 3-2 in the University’s Back
Yard Derby. Barbed wire remains the favorite at Corvallis where
it runs all around the pastures and occasionally gets tangled up
with editorials.
jjc 5|c >Jc
MGM has signed a contract with Nylon, a popular guinea pig
from the biology department. The company will claim exclusive
rights to use Nylon for the new-look pigskin in its latest film ver
sion of "Rockue of Notre Dame."
t- * *
Women who are seeking the lightweight championship title
are urged to use the new Soda-Fountain Scales. A unique num
bering system, beginning with 300 and decreasing to zero,
makes it possible to get a winning low score without cutting
the calories.
As this edition goes to press, the University Whoopsters are
whooping in raucus style. Some of them feel this version oi
Duckie Tracks is the work of a quack—one of those Punion Der
by perfectionists who has spent too much time among the foot
notes. But we know you’ll read them.
* Where there are tracks, there must be feet. Where there are
feet there must be notes. Footnote: Ducats—diminutive for
Ducks; or, more popularly, gold coins. Cf. Chakespeare, “Oh
my daughter! Oh my Ducats.”
Women's IM Rassling
Newest Thing on Quad
♦ RINGSIDE, HENDRICKS PARK
ARENA—Juanita “Crusher” Kra
avajanovski, 237, of Gotta Getta
Guy sorority, defeated Dodie “Can
vass Back” Calipygian, 216, of
Spook house, in the opening match
of the women’s intramural wrest
ling season Wednesday.
The large crowd of wrestling fans
was made up mostly of University
students who frequent the park for
the sheer excitement to be found
in the sport.
Kraavajanovski, according to
University sports writers, has had
much wrestling experience here and
in high school, and has learned to
break even the most difficult holds.
Calipygian, on the other hand, is
a freshman from a small town and
has had little opportunity to build
up her defensive tactics.
Kraavajanovski wore the conven
tional wrestler’s tights in an off
tone chartreuse. Her fitted bodice
was of champagne lace.
Between rounds, as she was
smearing resin on her thumbs to
rub in her opponent's eyes, she ex
plained that she made the cham
pagne lace herself, by dipping an
old sheet into a vat of cheap, cor
rosive champagne until it had eaten
just the right amount of holes in
the sheet.
Calipygian wore clinging knee
length tights of an exciting mauve
shade, with a dainty trim of black
lace around the cuffs.
Kraavajanovski pinned Calipy
gian to the mat early in the first
round, but the referee discounted
it, declaring that Kraavajanovski
had illegally blown into her oppon
ent’s ear, momentarily distracting
her.
Calipygian took the first fall with
a series of bustle-breaking body
slams followed by a sudden body
press.
Fans booed their disapproval as
Kraavajanovski took the second fall
after one of her stays popped out,
hitting her opponent in the face
and momentarily blinding her.
Kraavajanovski took the third
fall with an airplane spin and body
press.
Just to show that there were no
hard feeling, Calipygian later went
to the Gotta Getta Guy sorority
house to help the victor sew back
some of the spangles which were
torn from her tights during the
match.
Order of y0'
The Order of the ‘O’, young men’s
dancing and sewing society, will
meet at noon todaji at the Pi Beta
Phi house, President Pon Deterson
announced yesterday. Plans for the
annual maypole and hopscotch
tournament will be discussed.
Latest Red-Hot Scoop Bulletin:
John Warren, former Webfoot
I basketball coach, is Oregon's new
| athletic director, according to de
| partment sources.
Leo A. Harris, the present ath
letic director, quit in a huff be
cause someone questioned how
he kept his records of work projects
in the department.
It isn’t known yet who the new
basketball coach will be, but it’s
rumored that the new man has been
for some time coaching the Marsh
field high school team.
•■‘■.vs s *
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