A Fable from the Land of Llama Curds and Priests
r By Larry Lau
Hidden high astride the Tib
ttian hills lies a monastery known
to the wandering herdsmen as
Laou-Dung-Tsi. In the month of
the moonstone when the gaunt
C h i n a winds
vent their white
Jury, the old,
thin- bearded
jiriests are wont
to stand before
the blaclcstone
fireplace and
between sups of
llama curds, tell
i-trange tales of
the world for
which there is
ho history. One of them goes like
this. . .
“It is so recorded that in the
'Time of Freshness, before 'the
Great Ice, the world was divided
into two spheres, one ruled by Jos
the Dinosaur and the other by
Bar the Winged Reptile. In the
beginning there was a calmness,
hut as each learned more of the
earth it came to pass that Jos
and Har were enemies.
On the day of the Festival of
the Poppy, Jos suddenly pro
claimed that the creatures of the
earth should henceforth walk on
all fours. And the mighty Har did
deny this and commanded the
creatures that they all should fly.
“How else can one be free?”
Har would ask.
“If one flies and one walks and
one swims,” Jos would answer,
“ ’tis freedom for only a few. Let
everyone walk and be equally
free.”
And Har would drum his great
wings in anger and thunder,
“Heed not the words of Jos. Let
each creature choose for him
self!”
So it was that all the creatures
laughed no longer and grew fear
ful lest the two giants war upon
each other. Some sided with Jos
and some with Har, but many
drew back atremble to wait and
see.
Now in the land of the Winged
Reptile there were schools as
there are stars in the heavens,
and for each, a group of wise
Owls to teach. And there were
also schools with wise Owls in the
land of the Dinosaur. In the land
of the Winged Reptile little crea
tures were learned of walking
and flying and swimming and
made to choose thereon. In the
land of the Dinosaur they learned
only of walking on all fours and
knew nothing of flying or swim
ming, and it came to pass that
many perished.
And Har would say to the other
creatures, “Note you the freedom
of flying, that one also knows
how to walk and swim.”
And Jos would growl uncom
fortably and answer, saying, “Is
it not a waste to clutter
one’s mind when it has been pro
claimed that the creatures shall
henceforth walk on all fours?”
And the creatures would pon
der at great length and finally
say of Har, “His is indeed a way
more free. Our peoples shall also
fly.”
But alas! It came to pass in
the land of the Winged Reptile
that a great disagreement arose
between the Owls.
“Walking is wrong,” said one.
“In this land we fly. To even men
tion walking is unpatriotic.”
“To cause little creatures to
think disturbing thoughts is wick
ed,” said another fat old Owl.
And there were some Owls who
said unto them, “Indeed, it is true
we think walking far superior to
flying, but we merely believe, we
do not so teach.” '
And there were the many Owls
who spoke wisely, saying, “How
better can-we prove the blessings
of flying than to let it be com
pared with walking on all fours?”
But the peoples in the land of
the Winged Reptile grew fearful
and mistrustful lest the proclam
ation of Jos come true. And they
gradually became so intent on
hating Jos that they came to hate
walking and swimming too and
indeed, flying became, as Jos had
predicted, freedom for only a few.
And there came over.the earth
a great uncertainty. Those who
swam did expire in misery trying
to walk, and those who walked on
all fours came into madness try-,
ing to fly, and those who flew did
drown trying to swim.
And finally the Great One'
looked down upon the earth in an
ger and scorn and said unto the,
creatures, “Ye were not created
in sameness. None were placed
herein to transport themselves in
an alien fashion.
Fools! That ye have thus de^
nied yourselves. Freedoms once
taken from the rocks and hills
shall even now be taken from you..
There shall be a new creature
among you who will walk upright
and fly and swim and be called*
Man and shall rule the earth.
And should Man also fall into,
your grievous error, I will have
done with the earth and there
shall be caused a great fire to en-'
gulf its peoples and there will be
no longer a living thing.”
And all the creatures were
struck dumb with terror and felt
a a great hatred and shame for*
the Owls who had thus misled
them.
The Cobbon Co'd
The red-nosed menace has struck!
Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne’er conceived by mortals . . .
A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!—Ogden Nash.
Dyou’re right, O’den. Dthe cobbon co’d is here vor sure.
Of sebenteen persons in dthe infirbary, bost are sufferi g
frob dthe cobbon co’d and its bore wicked variations.
Whad to do aboud it?
Firstly: Do’d catch co’d in dthe first place.
Secondly: If you do catch co’d, glear out your codgested
passakes by smoki’g lods of zigarettes.
Thirdly: Dry zigars if zigaretts do’d help.
Fourthly: Dry dthrowing dthree apple peali’gs ober your
shou’der wen dthe moon is full.
Fifthly: Keep cheerfud. Rebember dthat dthe bacilli hab to
lib sobewhere, too.
Sixthly: 'iSoak your feed in vinegar and write a poeb like
O’den Dash did. *
See you at the infirbary!—B.H.
Ground Hog's Calculations
There was hope during the morning hours yesterday. The
day dawned cloudy and cold and by noon there were snow flur
ries. But. oh, woe, about 2 p. m. the sun came out momentarily,
the ground hog saw his shadow, and we must presume that he
-crawled back into his hole.
This all adds up to the fact that there will he six more weeks
of winter—a surprise to no one.
By lightning calculations, we find that if the ground hog is
really accurate, the first warm, sunny day will come on March
16—the exact middle of final week.
Anyone who has been on the campus during the first sunny
days of spring knows what happens to the student body. Books
are forgotten and everyone takes off on a picnic.
For the sake of winter term grades, we can only hope that
the ground hog’s calculations are faulty and that warm weath
er holds off at least until spring vacation. B.B.
Oregon «f Emerald
Tt,» n.prov Daiiy Emerald, published daily during the college year except Sundays,
MonS s holidays, and final examination periods by the Associated Students, University ot
Oregon Subscription rates: $2.00 per term and $4.00 per year. Entered as second-class matter
at the postoflice, Eugene, Oregon. __
BIU
n,
YATES. Editor
Reed. Monaiimtf
Editor
VIRGIL TUCKER, Business Manager
Tom McLaughlin, Ass t. Bus. Mgr.
Associate Editors: June Goetre. Boblee Hropl'y. Uiana Dye, Barbara Hey wood
Advertising Manager: Joan Mimmigh_
' - I’PPER NEWS STAFF
Turnbull, News Editor
Tom King, Sports Editor
Pick Cramer, Sports Editor
Tom Mannas. Kadio Editor
Don sntmft. ass t Managing r.ditor
Ann Goodman, Ass’t. Aews Editor
Ul’l'EK BUSINESS STAFF
il *’en Sherman, Circulation Mg-r,
Eve Overbeck, Nat l Adv. Mgr.
Kill I.enwm, Sales Manager
i eslie Too/e. Assistant Adv. Mgr.
Cork .Mjblev, Assistant Adv. >lgr.
Virginia Mahon, Assistant Adv. Mgr.
Donna Brennan, Asst. Adv. Mgr.
*"* Jack Schnaidt, Asst. Adv. Mgr.
- Wild Notes
Does Our Ivory Tower Need
More Ventillation? Asks Young
By Fred Young
It seems too bad that our
^school’s high-powered academic
policy couldn’t have relented long
enough last Friday afternoon to
have moved two
feminine PE
classes out of
Gerlinger annex
in favor of the
March of Dimes
Show.
It had the
makings of a
good show. The
Emerald g r a -
ciously gave considerable space to
urge its success. But it lost all
appeal when Uni Hi’s folding au
ditorium was cited as the place.
Maybe the few dollars that
might have been scraped up from
the student body, or the time do
nated by campus entertainers, or
the amusement of our fellow
workers didn’t merit moving the
classes. But, in that case we’d
better knock a few windows out
of our ivory tower to let a little
air in.
Those of us who did venture
back into the shadow of second
ary education last Friday heard
some very good and not so easy
music by Easy Zarones and His
Men of Easy Rhythm. It was too
much for the small, but appre
ciative, crowd that listened. The
intense arrangements are by the
trombonist Bob Hays whose play
ing suggests Bill Harris; but
Hays would probably rather be
compared with only Hays.
Marty Wright, who plays bop
clarinet and tenor with Zarones
as learnedly as he instructs in
the chern lab, suggests a must in
our modern symphonic pro
gramme-—Bela Bartok's "Concer
to for Orchestra.” In attempting
to hear for ourselves, we found
an indication of popularity, inas
much as the concerto seemed gen
erally sold out everywhere. Con
certo for Orchestra seems a
strange title but the composer ex
plains that its tendency to treat
of single instruments or instru
ment groups in a soloistic man
lier illustrates a concerto—un
quote.
New singles out in the popular
category include frantik Kenton
and his krew observing “I’ll Nev
er Be the Same.” They’re playing
so slow and nice you hope they
will be. A good tune for your sig
to-sigh dancing. The back sports
June “that name” Christy sing
ing “He’s a Good Man as Good
Men Go, But As Good Men Go He
Went.” Which is a nice tune as
nice tunes go.
For those of us who enjoy the
piano’s block-chords, a record by
Earl Bostic on the Gotham (avail
able locally) label “Joy Dust” has
a very long block-chord solo
which shouldn’t be judged with
out listening to the entire side..
* * *
A very good jazz album was
released by Victor featuring Lou
ie Armstrong, Jack Teagarden,
and we don’t know who all they
dusted off for this recording at
the Town Hall in New York. A
realistic edition carrying audience
applause and the musicians’ ad
libs. Also, such popular Louie
toons as “Old Rocking Chair” and
“Others We’ve Forgotten.”
Big news in the record business
is Capitol's acquisition of Herman
and Herd. Publicity from that of
fice sez that Capitol is going on
strictly a bop kick—and giving
pop the boot.
Victor signed Ike Carpenter
during the record ban and his
initial effort is forthcoming. His
band style hints of its Ellington
influence, although the group ac
tually is small—about a dozen
men—it uses different instrument
combinations to obtain a pleasant
big sound. This arrangement—a
small band with a big sound and
bigger ideas—might be the an
swer to one of our Prom worries.
However, the first Carpenter
recoril does not live up to the pre
ceding' paragraph. Though it of
fers the opportunity to hear Ike’s
singing- discovery, Johnny April.
The political powers behind this
column urge you to be on the
lookout for the Sheepdog.
With the
Legislators
Washington
Rep. Horan (R-Wash) said yes
terday the Democratic adminis
tration is ‘‘trying to get out from *
under” on its promise to enact a
farm program that will meet the
needs of farmers and please city *
dwellers. —
“After leading administration
figures helped swing the 1948
election by denouncing the long- .
range farm program of the 80th
congress, they now find them
selves sorely put to offer an ac-'
ceptable program of their own,”
Horan said in an interview.
“The parity and price support .
problem is as large as ever but
the agriculture department has
yet to offer a solution.
“Instead, the job has been put
squarely up to congress—to '
which the administration can send
anyone who doesn’t like the re
sult.”
A government official told a
senate committee yesterday the
Aluminum company of America
is considering construction of an
aluminum plant in Alaska.
The testimony came from W. E.
Warne, assistant secretary of the
interior, at a hearing before the
senate interior committee.
Chairman O’Mahoney (D-VVyo)
asked the witness if Alcoa is plan
ning a plant in Alaska. Answer
ing in the affirmative, Warne
added that the plans have not
gone far enough for any public
statement as to the details.
Warne went on to say that the
plan would be in southeast Alas
ka, north of Ketchikan, and
would require a treaty between
the United States and Canada as
it will “involve international wa
ters.”
He said he thought the plans
were to have part of the alumin
um-making process in Alaska and
part in Oregon or Washington. He
said the company was attracted
to Alaska by the availability of a
power supply.