Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 27, 1948)
Oregon*# Emerald ALL-AMERICAN 1946-47 The Oregon Daily Emerald, official publication of the University of Oregon, published Sly dS&5 the college year except Sundays, Mondays and final examination periods. Entered as second-class matter at the postoffice. Eugene, Ore. Member of the Associated Collegiate Press How's Your Conscience? A man with a conscience can never be a sports writer. Sports writers are snakes, epidermist snakes stuffing the public with the biggest, most thriving hoax on record. Jlere is a hoax institutionalized, made into a flourishing business with thousands of employes and millions of a\id readers. Guys 40 years old who never heard of h ranklin Roose velt can give the batting percentage for every hitter in the national league since 1903. This phoney field of sports has become so widespread that it now drugs the minds of house wives, secretaries, and practically every kid in the nation. Now what is there really in a sporting event, any sporting event. They are all one form or another of chasing a ball. The shape of the ball changes and the distance they chase it changes, but the idea, (chase that ball!) never changes. If ever there was a parasite it is a sports writer. His writing has only two virtues, a strong odor and strong verbs. “Roars smashes—annihilates—batters—tramples, ad infinitum, poui out of their typewriters like foam off beer—all meaning de feats, or, if you must, “wins.” An artist from Brooklyn once tabbed the uselessness of this deranged activity. When invited to go to a football game he said: “why should I go see a bunch of imbeciles throwing their foolish bodies around; I might get sui .rned.” If you want to keep your self respect never write a sports story, for one of these days the whole business will be dis closed. And if you ever feel like taking exercise, lay down and remain quiet until the tremor passes. % CAMPUS CALENDAR 4:45 a.m.: Meeting of the minds in front of the Side. 8:00 a.m.: Classes. 10:30 a.m.: Stack Rats meeting in the Reserve Book room for trip through libe. 12 noon: Chow. 1:00: Jump. 3:00: Whistle. 5:00: Shadow. 10:32 p.m.: Frustrated males meeting in front of the Co-op to talk it over. 11:00 p.m.: Frustrated males in dulge in hamburgers at Bai'-B-Q stand. Spares Still Legal LOS ANGELES. May 27— (SDX1—The nation’s leading bowl ing emporium mogul, Rounder O. Oddbahl, today denied that the Taft-Hartley law will throw bowl ers off their game. “Youse kin. still git spares,” he averred. Phi Beta "Glamour” SEAM-FREE NYLONS WITH PATENTED HEEL ^ Smart girls are wearing them—for they're a smart fashion I The Seal of the Dancing Twins identifies their exclusive, patented heel* for superb fit .. . their Gussetoe for comfort... their ilawless, seam - free look. You'll find them under leading brand names at your favorite college shop or store. • U. S. Pat. No. 23SS019 The Snooky Bird mystitied sci ence for years by flying the Flush Straight backwards. Red-heads are not necessarily fellow travelers. What This Campus Needs: More Wheels The time has come to put wheels on the Fiji house. With wheels, and rubber utility connections that could be hooked on just any old where, the Fiji house could, and should, be the world’s largest house trailer. Oregon has many firsts, why not be the first state to sponsor a 50-room house trailer ... a trailer park all in one unit? Think of it. The Fijis do. Bttide Mattel By PINKY POOTZ Greetings (sounds like a draft notice) all you guys and gals (is there a third type?). The day dawns (how else?) with this re porter (hi-falutin’ name for a pro fessional gossip) out early (11:30) hunting for items of interest (nev er found) for the gentle readers (damn few readers, none of them gentle). From the Krappa house (twice mortgaged) we hear that Brenda Skutz (whose father is a titan in the commode industry) and Tappa Keg Roger Pigeonbreast (of the Vanport Pigeonbreasts) have an nounced their engagement (Roger will fit nicely into his father-in law’s business). They will be mar ried (old man Skutz will use that shotgun if they don’t) in the fall. Roger recently won the Hik Cup for tapping the most Kwamas. A little birdie (condor size) just told me that Bovine Bottom of the Whizbang house took (she’d have to, no sane man would give it to her) Marvin Thinleg’s Safety pin. Their’s was a whirlwind romance (he met. her on a foggy afternoon at the Cosnio) that had campus tongues wagging (woof!) for days. Marvin had been dating Lorelei Looselips (didn’t know when he was well off) before he met Bo LEATHER GOODS Women’s Wallets, Writing Kits Men’s Wallets, and Robinson Reminders DARK GLASSES at Tremendous Savings ASSORTED ENVELOPES 2 PKS. FOR 15c Take advantage of these savings and many more at your store— U of O44 Co-op” /ine (who’d won him from Lorelei the night before playing black jack). Torrid Tillie Trenchmouth dating [finally) John Thickhead . . . Sig ma Sigma’s lovely (she sleeps in Ponds) unspoiled (yuk, yuk) Joann Jowls (her father’s a pig rancher n eastern) seen (what a blow) . . . Mice Weakeyes sipping cokes (half oourbon) with Elwin Wrongarm (who was paying off an election set). At the Hee Hee house dance just oads of people (all loaded) were seen (loads of them never made it past the basement either). Joe Doakes with Willie Gleek (both women-haters) . . . Jeen Thinwing with Mo Bart . . . Birdie Crowfoot with her father (who doesn’t trust ler out alone) . . . Mrs. Birdie Drbwfoot (who doesn’t trust Mr. Advertising Staff: Day Manager: AL RUEDY J Assistant Day Manager: VIRGINIA MAHON Layout Manager: GEORGE MELVIN Layout Crew: DAN ‘SCOTTIE’ MINDOLO VICH | TOM McLOUGHLIN Solicitors: CORK MOBLEY SAM PLUNKETT BILL PLUMMER Crowfoot) . . . Senior Weakend runner-up Lucy Broadbeam with her fiance (for a change) Archie Rumhead, and lots of others. The chaperons had a fine time drinking Grapette and shooting craps in the linen closet. That’s about all for today (thank God! but I’ll be back Tues day (oh no!) with more bright tid bits (crumbs you mean) for your breakfast (who gets up for break fact?) conversation. Just remem ber, if you’re down in the dumps (and who isn't after reading this) stop in at Barnsfogle’s Gin Mill for a pickup (whatever her name is). If you’re the dryball type, they’ve got coffee too (also cockroaches, rats and high prices). RUSSELL’S PRESENTS STUNNERS A NEW IDEA AND A NEW GARMENT FOR SUNNING AND SUN-OtLING S- FOR SUN A brief little garment of soft, sturdy terry cloth to save your swimsuit from sun-oil, Adjustable trunk with Matletex inserts, The bra ties across the back, with extra halter tie at the neck. T - FOR TAN Now you can tan without soiling your swimsuit with sun-oil. Send your Stunners* to the laundry or toss them into the tub and launder like a towel. Sizes: Small, Medium, Large. In Blinding White, Sun Gold, Dusky Maiden —have one of each.