Apertura Cranium Spoke in Six Tongues
The girls at Ivy’s house were groaning their way through “mem
bership selection week.”
Rush Chairman Felnia St. Garblesnatch had the floor, reclining
WlUJi wnuicouuic auuu«u*i, “vuv. r*'yrr
vised edition of Emily Post and bobby sox braced
on. “Robert’s Rules.”
“Now, about this legacy, Apertura Cranium,”
she shrilled. “Girls, remember the five points . . .
appearance, family, activities, grades, and person
ality. Let’s hear some pertinent comment.”
“She plays bridge according to the Pi Phi
system.”
“Is her Fiat a three-or five-passenger?”
“I’ve seen her drink cokes with a straw.”
“The Betas speak to her.”
“You ought to see her sparkle in ‘Use of the library’.’’
“She went to Ulysses high school.”
“She has six pairs of cashmere wristlets.”
“We really need a few more blondes, and Apertura’s an albino.”
“Greasy snob! She don’t git nawthin’ below a 2.24.”
“I hate her! I hate her! I hate her!”
“Somehow, I wonder if she’s just Our Type,” mused Felina.
“During dinner she repeatedly tossed the gravy boat over her left
shoulder and snuffled, ‘I hate Greeks,' in German, Hungarian, Rus
By Betty Ann Stevens
sian, Italian, Portouguese, low French and Greek as follows:
“Gehen sie zu helle!
“Pukholba a Grekvel!
“Chort vceh Greki!
“A’l inferno con tutte e Greci!
"P’rao inferno com todos os Gregos!
“Mars naturellement!”
“Posa hellades pros Gehennas!”
Ivy observed, “Super candidate for the presidency of International
Relations club.”
“But about family background,” Felina continued in a dulcet
shriek. “Her great grandmother was Abigail Goodenough Leech, a
founder of our sorority, who, after exam week on March 15, 1847,
designed our original emblem, a white ribbon around the neck from
which a 10-pound brass millstone dangled. However, since all three
of the chartering founders strangely developed carcinoma commonly
known as cancer, the badge was discarded in favor of the daintily
jeweled hammer and tongs which we wear today.
“Her grandmother, at 42, married a prominent KKK organizer
and was an active member of the Anti-Vivisectionist league, Happy
Gang-busting Crocheting Circle No. Nine, and the American Gas
association.
“Her mother was nothing.”
“Oh, pledge her,” prompted Ivy. “With 41 vacancies, what can we
lose ?”
Don't Run Around Looking Like a Neanderthal Man
I lie costume dance, long the Number One way of com
bining an ordinary house dance with a roaring good time,
may or may not be here to stay. There are people who are
most displeased as a result of a costume dance at one of the
millrace fraternities a week ago. These unhappy people
don’t all have offices in Emerald hall, either. Some of them
are just going to school here. Others live in Eugene and are
concerned about the University’s “reputation” as a suitable
place for the education of a young girl just out of high
school.
The squawks on this particular dance were loud, and from
the very loudest places, and cannot be ignored. The Emerald’s
best sources indicate that it is not impossible that some day,
not to far distant, the costume house dance may go the way
of the nickel beer and the Maxwell. It just won’t be around
any more.
There seems to be a feeling that dancers behave in a man
ner befitting their dress. If a dance is formal, the dancers
will be reserved, quiet ladies and gentlemen. If the theme is
“Terry and the Pirates” or “Place Pigalle" then the conduct
of the dancers has a tendency to mesh into the theme. At
least that’s what our very best sources say.
All of which is not to suggest that dance themes should
be restricted to “Plymouth Rock,” (it might be confused with
White Rock). But it is to suggest that the present censorship
of dance themes be extended to include interpretations of
themes. What some students can do with “variations on a
theme” is a thing of wonder.
There are several things that the houses themselves can
do, if they wish to continue this noble tradition of the cos
tume dance.
1. Keep the dances scrubbed up. Figure your mother
(or your grandmother) may drop in any minute.
2. Stay in the house. Don’t go wandering around downtown
in your Neanderthal man suit. The University exists for the
purpose of raising its students a notch or two abve Neander
thal man, and people downtown might think their money was
being channeled into the wrong sort of institution for such
a noble purpose.
3. Crack down (through Inter-Fraternity council. Heads of
Houses, Pan-Hellenic etc.) on organizations whose dances
threaten the continuance of this fine old tradition.
4. This fourth choice is one we don't like to suggest, but
it is the one that just may come about. Scrap the costume
dance. That's how the wind blows under the present set-up.
Junior Weekend Will Be a Little Different This Year
Remember Snobelle, the 11-month-old St. Bernard puppy
that stole the show last Junior Weekend? A lot of people
: were wondering whether she would mount her convertible
| and contest this year's election too . . . probably not.
Both AP and UP carried news stories on her last year.
San Franciscans chuckled over her escapades when Will Con
noly gave her half a column in the Chronicle. People in Burns
and Klamath balls, and Walla Walla, and even Portland, read
feature stories on her. But this year? . . . probably not.
Snowbelle weighs about 140 pounds now, and it’s pretty
tough for any gal her height to look regal at 140. She's not
as gangly and awkward as she was last spring". She had her
first fight this tall and, to her bewilderment, came out an un
contested winner. She seemed puzzled over that for weeks
(a little proud, too). Her big ears are still floppy and soft, and
her body has never caught up with her feet (size 10UEE),
but you get the feeling that, being nearly 2 years old, she
realized that it would be unseemly for a matron her age to
go running around in search of a crown.
Her old buddy of puppy hood days, a daring little squirrel,
gets her polite interest, but nothing more. With her advanced
years has come the realization that she just can't climb trees.
Regrettable, but true, ancl she accepts the fact with true
Swiss stoicism. She has lost a lot of the bewilderment of
puppyhood. Soon after her first fight, she chased a real live
burglar out of the house and then, just to prove she is really
tough, frightened the policemen who came to investigate.
W e see her lying lazily in the sun, both eyes closed, using
those big paws for a pillow. She still plays a big-league game
of softball, although with her added weight, she'll probably
be moved to the outfield. A new, more fascinating game, is
playing with sticks, or two-by-fours, or tree limbs (or
anything else she can move). Her masters sometimes find
their back porch ricked with bits of wood she has stacked
up. just in case someone wants to play. She’s a stubborn
little princess, and gets a big enjoyable growl out of not
letting loose .
This year, the queen candidates need not look askance over
their shoulders for a laughing puppy. Snobelle has grown wise
with her years, and her figure . . . well, it’s just not the same
slim girl. Perhaps when she snoozes in the sun, she’s thinking
of better days . . . of kegs around her neck, and cheering
throngs, and convertibles, and popping flashbulbs . . . but run
again? . . . probably not. R. R.
Why Wouldn't Anybdy Go to Live With Our Neiahbor?
Tlie best twist of the week on
the country club theme comes
from one of our own backyard
. neighbors. A Sirs. E. McCormick
of Eugene, explains in a letter to
the editor of the Oregonian that
she is answering an article in that
paper's Sunday edition about col
lege students wanting to do part
time work and attend college.
It appears that for nearly a
quarter of a century our relations
■ with this particular neighbor have
been satisfactory but with the
coming of the war the worm took
a turn. She writes :"I have lived
right at the college campus for
25 years. I have some small
apartments and have always had
a student to help me.
"But do you think I could get
one to turn a hand since the war ?
No. Even when they couldn't find
a place to live and go to school. I
offered a room if they would
work for it, but not one took me
up on it.
These students do not work.
There is plenty of work ii
Eugene if they want to do it.”
Our interest in this epis'tle
picks up here, for it is at
this point that the cream of
neighborliness seems to curdle
and the possibility of rounding
out another 25 years of good
neighboring is not assured. The
fact is that Mrs. McCormick has
been living in the midst of good
solid productive commercial ac
tivity which not only takes place
i just over the bacyard fence from
By Bill Wasmann
where she lives but also in the
city of Eugene.
For proof of this take a look
at the records of the University
branch of the state employment
service. During the year, 1947,
that office placed at full and part
time employment a total of 22S9
students. True, there is some
double counting here, but that is
offset by the fact that many stu
dents seek work independently of
(Please turn to page three)
CAMPUS
CALENDAR
Noon: Lutheran Student associ
ation council meeting at YWCA.
4:30 p. m.: Delta Phi Alpha
meeting at German seminar room,
Friendly hall.
8 p. in.: Open house at Westmin
ister house.
8 p. m.: Party night at Wesley
house. •
After basketball game: Luther
an Student Valentine party at
1451 Willamette.
Night Staff:
Betty Lagomarsino, night editor
Stan Turnbull
Charlene Helgeson
Martha Can Auken
Sam McKinney
Dick Gehr
Newt Thornton
In choosing a design for a hooked
rug, shades of no more than three
colors should be used and one color
should be emphasized, according to
design specialists.
Don’s
Disc
Data
The tune of the week is “PLEASE
DON'T PLAY NUMBER SIX TO
NIGHT,” (Decca 24266), Jeannie
Porter
neut, vocai; -on
ly Kyle quartet.
Kyle, ex 88’er for
v John Kirby,
makes this wax
ing; good mean
ing and also a lit
tle humor. Jean
nie is Decca’S
competition t o
Lutcher and Rose
Murphy and
whatever Victor
las found. She
has good in
terpretation in dead pan manner.
Play it twice and you will buy. All
you have to do these days is sound
like someone else and you get a,
waxing contract.
Records to Look for
1. WHEN YOUR HAIR HAS
TURNED TO SILVER (Decca
24325), Monica Lewis with Bob
Eberly, vocal; Russ Morgan orches
tra. This tear-jerker you will like.
Eberly concentrates on good voice
instead of bad acting; Monica
makes it a perfect team. Morgan
stays in the background where he
belongs. Send this to your best one
as a heart reminder come the 14th.
2. YOU WERE MEANT FOR
ME (Capitol 15027), Gordon Mac
Rae, vocal; Carlyle Hall orchestra.
Resurrection of a fertile chestnut.
MacRae does well by this—that is
if using Crosby’s style and ar
rangement means anything. He will
remain just a good voice with no
name until the right tune hits.
3. SABRE DANCE (MGM
30048), Macklin Morrow orchestra.
This is from Khachaturian’s Gayne
Ballet Suite. Well executed—
could be background music for a
Norman Corwin production. Why
would you buy it? I don’t know.
REMINDER—Watch for Les
Paul's new sound.
THE COMING RECORD:
SHINE, (Mercury 5009), Frankie
Laine. He has arrived.
It's a Grave situation if you can’t
purchase your favorite waxing at
1198 Willamette street.
Don Porter, KASH
W# MUSIC
f & ART