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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 27, 1947)
We Solemnly Swear ASA ASA candidates believe that the following planks should be an inte gral part of the University of Ore gon: 1. Support of the Student Union. The building is needed by the Uni versity and every effort will be made to back all drives supporting It, and get it as soon as possible. 2. Stress athletic relations. Get more and better athletes at the Uni versity. Make them OREGON con scious. Young stars should have no question about enrolling here. 3. Open the milirace. The race is a tradition at Oregon; one that should be brought back. Definite ac tion will be taken at to once again make it the center of the campus. 4. Bill Hayward Weekend. In honor of Oregon’s nationally-fam pus coach one weekend will be de clared in his honor and devoted to him next fall. Fitting ceremonies and nationwide interest will be a part of the weekend. 5. Centralization of all campus drives. Eliminate the majority of drives by holding a single one each term. Appropriations will be made from a central fund. (March of Dimes and Red Cross excluded.) If all the dogs on the campus were laid end to end in the Sahara desert, wouldn’t that be a fine how do-you-do. Our Boy . . . The Prexy Let s look at this student body president affair seriously. You may think it's all honey and cream to lead the people. No sir! It’s bigger than that . . . bigger than you or I. You may have heard that the Kays, Andersons, and Torgesons do no thing but urge housing- improvements for students, a change in the grading system, etc., silly problems at best. No sir. Not on your life. , The man you elect has got to start buying his Paisley neck ware TODAY. Cords will no longer benefit a personage of his rank. He’s gut to start thinking about greeting the 1948 dele gates to Oregon’s annual Lester M. Crubb Marble Champion ship, January 1 through June 1, in Eugene. He will have been given a “mandate from the people” to greet next year’s guest speakers . . . maybe men like John Rankin, Harold Stassen or Greta Garbo. Who knows? After all, we began humbly this year with the modest Mr. Churchill. 'Your next president, my friends, be he a lemon or a Lem ons, a Williamson or the swimming team captain, has got to have aplomb, tact, ability as a public speaker, a covert suit and teeth that all show when he smiles! Though several obviously envious students have remarked that this institution should hire a student body president from an advertising agency (such as Hatton, Barston, Tristan and Isolde), even the scoffers will admit: "Where would we have been?” had not dapper Thomas Kay been adept at flashing toothy smile at would-be collegians (along with some equally flashy color slides) during last winter’s campaign to arouse high school interest in the U. Yes . . . our prexy has JUST GOT to be a clean-cut kid. Something like Jack Armstrong. We cannot chance, for instance, that he may expose himself to the label: “All-American Dope Addict.” Think about these things when you vote! The best man . . . phooey! Who has five o’clock shadow? Who has that .track-team underarm odor? Does he have all of his hair? Is it his own? Think about these thing when you vote! He’s the boy who’ll have to represent YOU at the annual convention of Amalgamated Student Body Presidents and Doer-Awayers-With-Certain-Small - Funds - Which - Nobody - Keeps-Keeps-Track-Of-Anyway. He’s the chap who’ll weld together into, the greatest fight ing team the world has ever known (excluding the Albanian National Guard of course), the tightly-knit, highly-intelligent EXECUTIVE COUNCIL. (Pause for the misty-eyed.) HIS will be the decisions ... to affect the entire FUTURE of an unborn generation. Even now real-estate operators and used car salesmen are planning whether or not to take out col lege policies with which their now infant daughters can enter the Theta house at 18 . . . all hinging upon your selection. When you . . . members of the chess team . . . rue the day on which this fiend (if he so proves to be) was elected . . . this -fiend who has denied your squad a major, even a minor letter, remember our words. Think about these things when you vote! Then vote! Then go to Max’s with a cleansing sense of a job well done. • « t t i » t i 5 ■ WUoh HiteLf, It’s ANYFACE by a nose! In an exclusive interview late last night in Marcus Winkler’s wirie cellar, ANYFACE and his running mate, Bess Backache, were confident of walking off with today’s Student Union elections. "The heat’s on,” he mumbled, “and my campaigning manager Fosdick predicts utter turmoil at the polls.” Anyface also revealed that he ex pects to annex enough power in his new position of student union presi dent to drain gradually all influence enjoyed by student body presidents in the past. “I can dribble better than Stanislaus when pressed,” he offered . . . “and for that matter, my girl Bess, who is running for SU vice president, is a whiz at drib bling. She has brought many a crowd to its feet as she dribbled on the maple. Lemons is a good man, too, but he comes from a long line of lemons historically, and my ma chine is better oiled than his.” Bess Backache, who was quietly in a corner fiddling with an old Usher carton, announced that she had lined up Tiny’s, The Pioneer, and Robinson’s solidly. “My boys are behind me,” she coyly winked her good eye. . Anyface hurriedly whipped out his pre-election brochure (paid for from his Co-op rebates at the last minute from McClain) which in cluded his campaign platform, and is hammered together with pre-war nails. “Look at my qualifications, Yak . . . Yak. . .” No dummy he, there was a full page Roamer ad on the back page stating that Any face chooses Roamer’s every time, anywhere. “I advocate,” as he changed his face to look like Dean Earl, “abolish GPA’s ... no closing hours for girls, ( more beer, and more for veterans.” His activities include blanket chairman for the Tau and Fiji meadows (1939-1947), cleanup com mittee for the O.C., chairman of “Dirty up the Campus Week” just before Mothers’ Day, and extracur ricular research at the Pi Phi house. Fosdick was miffed at Dark horse’s entry into the SU race, as Snowbelle bit him in a strategic lo cation late yesterday. “I just made Mortar Board in time,” he sighed. If all the campus politicians were laid end to end in the Sahara desert, it would be a good idea. The paper towelmaker’s slogan, “Rub—Don’t Blot,” was not invent ed by Don Ameche. Oregon 0 Emerald Sigma Delta Chi Edition BERNIE HAMMERBECK and JOHNNY KAHANANUI, co-Editors _ART LITCHRlAN and BOB WALLACE, Business Men BOB WALACE, Business Man R. PAUL NELSON, Managing Editor BILL YATES, News Editor _ Bob Frazier and Jack L. Billings, co-Editors of Sports L. L. JERMA1X, All-Coast Almost_ LYLE XELSOX, Left Out KOY1XG CORRESPONDENTS—JOHX E. BEXXETH Somewhere- ATFRFn A ENGLISH, Anywhere; DONALD A. PLATH. Everywhere• KFLLA' SNOWS, A H. VICEXT APPLEGATE, Fiji Meadows; JAMESR BANKS Amazon Fla'ts MX PR IV MIX DOLOYICH. Beta House; DEWEY F. RAY The ' il™ W Vril ' w SEEBORG. Kings Canyon National Park; W. ROSS YATES Oregana* Blf T Uuk -Wrin T*rri,ory: D- R' McNE1L, Acoma Water Hole;'WARREN E MILLER, Hans Wold. Night StatY Editor Bob Whitely. By-line Editor Fred Kuhl, Women’s Page Editor C. F. Gleason, Society Editor T. Berton Moore. Filler Editor Harry Glickmah, Printer’s Devil A. Ted Goodwin, Outstanding Journalist Byron Mavo, Political Editor ‘iVi?'?.' Goodwin. Ooutstanding Journalist Hill Stratton, Ink Editor George Holcomb. Centerfielder Thomas G. Wright, Jr., Letters to the Editor Editor Donald W. McIntosh, Editor’s Note Editor Signed editorial features and columns in this issue of the Fmernld „ *u Nowhere in the paper will be found anvthing resembling the opinions of the student bode. or the Imversity, Any libelous ma.eriaUontaiSs tmintemional 31 StaS’ Entered as second class matter at the postofiice, Eugene, Oregon. ISA ( I. For the executive council to justify its right of existence and re gain the lost respect and prestige which is necessary for student gov eminent, ISA pledges certain changes in procedure: 1. Executive council will contact presidents of living organizations on impending appointments, listing necessary qualifications for posi tions. 2. Applicants will be interviewed. Thus the executive council will m>4 be dealing with sheets of paper, 191^. with human beings. 3. Freshman class officers will sit in on all exec council meetings as ex-officio members, giving them representation where they do not now have it.„ II. Yell king to be chosen by the exec council after demonstrations by all applicants at some varsity athletic event. III. Webfooters to be placed on an official basis at the University. Thus far this rally squad behind the rally squad enjoys only semi official recognition. IV. Insistence of student admin istration of the student union build ing. V. Full backing of all University functions and projects such as con struction of the student Onion build ing, rebuilding of the mill-race, etc. Telling the Editor About Something To the Editor: I have been attending the UrlWer sity of Oregon for a; long time. In fact I matriculated jn 1901, in the same class with Dean'Eari and Mrs. Wickam. But because of the new age ruling I am being retired July 1, in the very middle of my senior year. I think this is very unfair. Just when I am on the brink of a career in the business world I find myself denied a diploma, which would open up a whole new world of success to me. My grandson says he will not take me into his business concern unless I have a diploma. , I think it is very unfair that I should not be given the opportunity to graduate. Especially when a per son stops to consider all of the “dead wood” and “dead beats” who attend the University for the simple rea son that they do not want to go to work. Can’t the editor appeal to the administration to rectify such in justices ? Indignant P.S. I read your editorial com mending Anse Cornell for his excel lent quarterbacking and enjoyed it very much. I am sorry I didn’ t write you sooner about this remark^Hte editorial writing. Editor’s note: Yok, yak, yak. About Something Else To the Editor of the Literator: As soon as I sobered up this morning, I picked up the Emerald illiterary section. There I found I had been grossly libeled. As I read I got madder and madder. I puck ered my lips like they had never been puckered before and jumped up and down on my lean shanks. My flat chest heaved and unheaved. How can I be expected to maintain the respected position of my house, when I am so accurately portrayed as a cat. The story was obviously written by an independent to degrade me and the whole Greek system. Just to prove how wrong Leslie Bernard was in that nasty, horrible story, we do not use calla lilies in our in itiation ceremonies. We use pink p^r tunias. Lois Heath, President, Omega Omicron Orega Editor’s note: Yak, yak. yak.