Intra-Fives Near Final Drive
By LEONARD TURNBULL
J. Homer .Vandersmank, the eminent sports cliche expert
and analyst, sauntered into the sports department room last
night (one of the few characters that frequent the place),
placed an exquisitely carved cane on my 10 by 14-foot desk,
and set his mind at ease with some very cogent opinions. “Turn
bull,” he slurred, “you have fallen into the abyss of defeat,
and what is more, I, J. Homer Vandersmank am more than a
little disgusted with you.”
“Have a seat,” 1 say while pushing' a battered wreck with
kgs toward him. “Mow if you wish to unburden your mind on
our basketball team, or maybe how we lost two out of three
games to the Heavers—anything—you will find me a very
patient listener.”
DADDLE, FIDDLE, THAT IS, FIDDLE-DADDLE
“Haskethal! team, the farmer series, all fiddle-daddle. in
fact daddle-fiddle. Young man, I'm afraid that you have failed
miserably in the gentle art of sports writing—you understand
nothing of this colorful field.”
“Failed," I cry and jump to my feet with alacrity.
“Completely,” he retorts in a firm and positive voice.
“Just the other day I saw a story of yours which de
scribed a game between two opposing-basketball teams.
You were brash enough to state that one team ‘beat’
: another. In sportswriting, one team never beats another
team. A team surges over, shellacks, swamps, throttles,'
massacres, hurdles, pulverizes, inters, buries, licks and
trounces but never beats. Does this sink in?”
“By degrees I'm getting your point,” I reply. “Pray
continue, Mr. Vandersmank, elucidate.”
I REALLY GET THE EXPERT WORD
Mr. Vandersmank fidgeted with his monacle before re
plying. “You then went on to say that Mahoney shot for the
basket and made a field goal. That is very poor sportswriting.
Mahoney never shot, he flipped, twisted, launched, pivoted,
pushed, or ringed. Moreover, a basket is never a basket. It’s
a bucket. And for heavens sake there isn’t a field goal. It’s a
tally, big two, net swisher, anything but a field goal."
, Mr. Vandersmank began tapping his cane sharply on
my debris-covered desk. “In football you are even worse.
Why on several occasions you simply state that ‘Jones
carried the ball.’ That is sacrilege. You should say lanky
. Jones, stocky Jones, pile-driving Jones, twinkle-toed Jones,
or short, fat, weak or ugly Jones. Also, Jones never ‘carries’
the ball. He lugs, totes, transports, wheels, or conveys the
ball . . . And, Mr. Turnbull, a ball is never a ball. It’s a pig
skin, ovoid, spheroid, sphere, or bullet. Is this beginning
to clear your mind?”
“Well, I think, that is, I—” Frankly, students. I’m con
fused.
BASEBALL SEEMS TERRIFIC
Now when it comes to baseball,” Mr. Yandersmank con
tinues, "there doesn’t seem to be much hope for you. You
commit the unpardonable sin of saving- that a man 'hit a homer.'
Baseball players never hit homers. They poke, blast, ride,
crack, loft and ride homers, which are also called four-baggers,
base-cleaners, and round trippers.
"You even go so far as to state that a man played such
and-such a base. A man seldom if ever plays a base—that
is, he plays a base only in small town papers. In big time
a man plays a sack. There’s the keystone sack, the hot
corner, and the initial sack. Home base is never a plate
but a platter. It’s really very easy."
IF IT AIN’T THIS—IT’S THAT
Ms fluent ardent critic continues :"You persistentlv state
in your writings that such-and-such a team scores a field goal,
a .touchdown or a run. Why, that's inept stupidity. .Anyone of
your age should know that field goals, touchdowns and runs
;ire tallied, amassed, gained,, racked up, chalked up. carded,
posted, rung up, or •notched. It’s rediculously easy to catch on
to—why don't you see the light?"
Calling to fore all of my latent courage, I reply. “I most
certainly do see the light, Mr. Vandersmank. This lean,
hungry, sleepy, tired, gaunt sportswriter is planning to
swivel-hip through this room, hurdle a chair, spear through
the door, race across the campus, dive into my sack, and
rack up some much-needed sleep. Good night, Mr. Vander
smank.
Salstrom Paces Phi Delts;
Campbell Club Trims Zetas
Making a determined bid for the intramural championship,
the Phi Delta Theta “A” team squashed the hopes of the Theta
Chi club last night in a fast contest 49 to 24. Two independents
battled in the other fracas and Campbell club emerged vic
torious bv 33 to 18 over the Zeta hall squad.
Again it was Eddie Sais
trom, the former Salem all
state prepper, who led the Phi
Delts to victory. The high
scoring lad accounted for 20
in yesterday’s contest, two
more than the entire Theta
Chi team slipped through the
net.
Cramer Paces
The Delts held a 28 to 10 half
time advantage and were ■ never
seriously threatened once they
shifted their scoring machine into
high gear. Cramer paced the losers
with seven points.
Campbell Club proved too
strong for the Zeta boys be
hind the 15 point pitching of
Mosby, Campbell forward.
Backing up a 14 to 0 halftime
lead they held tenaciously onto
theiV advantage until the final
whistle.
Lineups:
Plil Delta Theta Theta Chi
“A” (49) ‘A” (24)
Salstrom (26) ....F. (2) Martin
Congelton (4) .. .F. (7) Cramer
Edwards (4) .C.. (4) Spaulding
Dyer (0) .G. (3) Loback
Erickson (5) .G. Dinges
Grisswald (4) ....S. (3) Biehn
S. Gallagher
S. (2) Chase
S. (3) Kitchell
Official: Fuffinbarger.
Campbell Club Zeta Hall
“A” (33) “A” (18)
Houghton (2) ....F. (3) Vernon
Mosby (15) .F . (2) Kill
Robson (8) .C... McCracken
Wood (2) .G. (6) Morgan
Dwigans .G. (3) Weekly
Nelson .S. Braymen
Pugh (2) .S. (4) Forrest
Wingate (4) .S
Official: Fuffinbarger.
HOBBY GREETS VETS
Coach “Hobby” Hobson talks the 1946 season over with
two clepemlables on his present edition of the Webfoot casaba
quintet. Tiny Stan “Salmon” Williamson and floor expert Roy
Seeborg- are two of Hobby’s lettermen from the 1943 season
who recently returned from the wars to share cage conflicts
with the Ducks.
Casaba Men s Tally Sheet
Shows Surge By Wilkins
“Durable Dick" Wilkins surged toward the top of the indi
vidual scoring heap on the Webfoots 1946 basketball edition
with the 29 points he chalked up against Huskies last week
end. Little Stan Williamson still holds the lead with 65 points,
however, compared with 59 for Wilkins.
Individual scoring record:
Williamson
G FG FT PF TP
7 20 25 23 65
Wilkins
7 21 17 21 59
Hays .
Berg .
Rasmussen
- 7 19 8 15 46
7 21 6 19 48
7 19 17 19 55
Seeborg .
Bray .
Hoffine .
4 4 3 2 11
5 1 10 8 12
7 10 7 16 27
Smith
4 3 2 6 8
6 2 1 3 5
Hamilton
Kehrli
O
o 0 0 0
Mayer ..
Maynard
2 0 0 1 0
1 0 0 0
0
THURSDAY
Intramural Schedule
BASKETBALL
4:00 Alpha Tau Omega “B” vs.
Zeta Hall “B”
4:45 Beta Theta Pi “B” vs. Phi
Delta Theta “B”
Frosh Trim
Prep Fives
On Net Trip
Coach Warren’s freshmen squad
took two more basketball wins
on Monday and Tuesday nights.
The southern trip was made to
Reedsport and Coos Bay where
they played Marshfield High.
Wally Huggins, who played
for Coos Buy in his high school
days, and captain John Neeley
were the sparks behind the
second half comeback of the
freshmen, after the coast team
had held a 22-21 advantage at
the halftime. Although Hag
gins led the scoring for both
teams with 15 points, Neeley
scored 14 for the Ducks and
played an outstanding defen
sive game.
High Scorer
Even though the Ducklings
couldn’t stop the high scoring of
Clyde DeWitt, they managed to
hold a 10 point lead throughout the
entire game at Reedsport Mort^ay
night. Once again Neeley went on
a scoring spree to rack up 15
points and lead his team to their
second victory over the Braves.
The Yearlings have three more
games scheduled for this week
end. The first is against a Willa
mina team Friday afternoon at
Mac court. The Oregon kids face
a double header Saturday after
noon at McArthur, They start with
Marshfield whom they defeated
last night 53-39. The second game
is against a strong Hillsboro team.
Same Lineup
Warren is expected to use his
same starting five including Milne,
Mold, Johnson, Huggins and
Neeley. Also expected to see much
action are Allbright, Bell, and
Leider. Any one of these men has
a good chance to grab off a first
string berth by the end of this
week.
ED
Through snow, rain, sleet and hail,
And catastrophic devilish wails,
A tennister named Ed continues to
flail—
Just keep a-goin’, Ed, keep a-goin’
'Mr. Basketball’
Revives Cougars
It was Gail Bishop all the way
for the Washington State Cougars
when they trounced the Oregon
State Beavers by the overwhelm
ing count of 49 to 34 last Tues
day night at Pullman.
Displaying a near return to the
scoring-pace form of last season,
Bishop tossed for 15 points, nine
of which were free throws. The
“Mr. Basketball” also teamed with
Vince Hanson to control the back
boards throughout the game.
Local fans will view the in
domitable Bishop in the Igloo when
the Cougars arrive for a two game
series here Tuesday and Wednes
day, February 12 and 13.