Dainty Eaters Have No Fears;
World-Shaking Events toCome
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The subject for our moans,
groans, beefs, and gripes today,
will be the much maligned ham
burger with its uses and abuses.
Every time we wrap our dainty
little meat hooks around a ham
burger we come away with our
pinkies soiled no end. Therefore
our suggestion of a remedy is
about to be offered.
Hamburgers as we know them,
consist of a pie shaped bun ap
proximately six inches in diameter.
They usually contain an ice cream
scoop full of hamburger, a slice of
juicy tomato, relish, onions if you
prefer, and mayonnaise.
Why People Want ’Em
Their uses are not many. Gen
erally people order a hamburger
if they are hungry. However we
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order one in order to keep the
booth they are sitting in at the
time. This is neither here nor
there. We were going to offer our
remedy and here it is.
Why in the name of creation
hasn’t someone in all the time that
hamburgers have been in exist
ence, even thought of inventing
a drain spout to keep the juice
from running over your iingers
and down your sleeves ? Think
what a godsend this boon to
humanity would be to millions of
hamburger eaters all over the
world.
Plain hnd Fancy
The spout could be made on the
order of those which line the eaves
on a house. It would be different
in one respect. The drain would
have to be detachable, enabling
you to secure it firmly to the next
hamburger to be eaten. They could
come in various stylesred for the
girls, and plain for the boys. The
spout could be made of perman
ent material or it could be made
of paper and thrown away after
using.
If some one doesn't particularly
like our idea, please submit a
better one and if we consider it
plausible it will be printed. In the
meantime, yours for bigger and
better drain spouts on the Amer
ican hamburger.
Faculty to Name AAUW
Scholarship Candidates
The Oregon division of the
American Association of Univer
sity Women plans to award a
$1,500 scholarship to a woman
student for advanced study.
Faculty members are requested
to suggest candidates for this
award to Mrs. Golda Wickham,
acting dean of women, who is a
member of the state scholarship
committee. A year of graduate
study is required.
The principal source of income
in Wyoming is agriculture.
Lonryna Preston and Gay Edwards, Kappa Alpha Theta, art;
cozy and warm in pajamas and robes from Miller’s.
The [Store iof Distinctive Gi ts
There's a Galaxy of Gift Suggestions at Russell's
. . . from Dainty Feminine Perfumes to Stunning
Home Accessories.
To Save Your Ti.me : * . to Give You Inspiration.
We List a Few Below.
A Travel Case of distinction . . .
Elixabeth Arden’s light and com
pact kit.$10.00 plus tax.
A bag of distinction . . . movie
faille with top handle and zipper
closing. Black only....$4.95 plus tax.
Silver of distinction a covered
entree dish of Old English Shef
» field and Victorian plate.
$40.00 plus tax.
1
A sweater of distinction . . .•
Caledonear fine knit suit sweater
in wonderful, wonderful shades.
$6.95
T
A perfume of distinction—Prince
Matchabelli’s best loved perfume
Duchess of York.$3.50 to $35.00
plus tax.
A Dickey of distinction . . . tailored,
yet dressy, in white with lace trim.
54.00
Accessories of distinction—White
linen handkerchiefs with hand
rolled edge.$1.00
Volupter plastic and sterling com
pact in two sizes. $4.95 and $9.95
plus tax.
A blouse of distinction ... a fine
wool jersey turtle neck, back
buttoned with push up sleeves.
Black only.$7.95
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Jewelry of distinction ... a three
strand pearl choker with black
ribbon tier.$4.95 plus tax
Br acelet to match.$2.95 plus tax