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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 3, 1944)
KHAKI CLIPS About Wameu Women are what men are always marrying-, consciously or uncon sciously. They have two feet, two hands and sometimes two husbands, but they never have more than one dollar or one idea. Like Turkish cig arettes, women are all made of the -^sarne material. The only difference is that some are a little better dis guised than others. Generally speaking, they may be classed in three main groups, name ly: wives, potential wives, and old maids. An old maid is nothing more than a mass of obstinacy entirely surrounded by suspicions. Wives are of three varieties: surprises, prizes, and consolation prizes. Making a wife out of a woman is one of the plastic arts known as civilization. It requires science, sculpture, common sense, faith, hope and charity—mostly charity. It is a psychological marvel that a big hearted, intelligent, good-looking -^oung man (Ed. note—Wow!) should enjoy kissing a weak, frail, giggling mass of feminine structure. If you permit a woman to make love to you, she will tire of you in the end; and if you don’t she will tire of you in the beginning. If you wear a sporty zoot suit and a rainbow toe she hesitates to go out with you. And if you wear conservative colors and a tailor made suit, she goes out with you but stares admiringly all evening at men in sporty zoot suits and rainbow ties. If you agree in everything, you cease to interest her, and if you argue with her, you cease to charm her. If you believe all she tells you, she thinks you a sap and if you don’t she thinks you are a cynic. If you join her in gaieties and approve of them, she swears you are driving her to the devil. And if you don’t approve and urge her to give up her gaieties, she knows you are snobbish and prudish. If you are the caveman type, she wonders if you have any brains. If you are the modem independent type, she doubts whether you have a heart. If you are silly she longs for a sensible mate. If you are in tellectual she longs for a play mate. 'wV woman is just a worm out of the dust, she comes along, wiggles about for a while and eventually some man picks her up. Then his troubles begin. Now I ask you, what is a poor man going to do? (Ed Note: This article, from a Co. A man, was left unsigned. For obvious reasons. He should see Dor othy Dix. For same reasons.) FIRST TIMES TODAY! SONJA HENIE in "WINTERTIME" pus LIONEL BARRYMORE "DR. GILLESPIE'S CRIMINAL CASE" BVFLOUIE ■ H{ VfNTW AT flLGfR ! CLOSED OPENING SOON STAFF Co-Editors Shaun McDermott Warren Miller Scribes Dick Murway A1 Young This Is IT By DICK MURWAY A lot of heroes have been made in this war, and many more will get their chance. You have the flashy fighter pilots with 20 Zeroes to their credit, the guys who go up against the Nazi tanks with only a Thomp son submachine-gun, the jungle in fantrymen who tackle Jap scouting parties with a knife and kill half a dozen of the enemy, and the heroes of similar feats. But what about the guys who are just another name on the casualty lists ? Thinking along this line led me to outline a radio play one night. Maybe the story has been done be fore. The outline assuredly is bet ter than the radio play would be, for I don’t know anything about writ ing radio plays. The idea is to tell the story of this guy who is just another name on a casualty list. The title: An American Is Dead. That's probably a bit pretentious, for the guy is not being glorified; he’s dead now, but the war wouldn’t have been over any sooner if he’d lived. The narrator begins, describing the ambulance crews picking up after a stiff battle to establish a beachhead somewhere in Italy. A reporter and a sergeant are talk ing as they walk through what re mains of the shrapnel-torn head quarters. Everyone got out of the building except a clerk whose body is draped forward over his desk and typewriter. Neither the reporter nor the ser geant knew much about the clerk, although they had seen him around, quietly typing, filing, doing his job, minding his own business, not talk ing much of home, wife, etc. The reporter asks where the guy was from. Illinois maybe, the ser geant thinks. The narrator picks up this “Illinois maybe,” expands it, developing the theme that there is a guy from anywhere dying, nobody knows or cares much about him, and there are a lot more like him. (There is a certain glory for him, since he is an individual and a unit in conglomerate America.) After a flourish of sweeping music which binds together the narrator’s monologue, a soft popu lar song starts. It might be playing on a radio in the living room, and it is. The guy has come home from work, sits down to dinner with his young wife, tells her of saying goodbye to his friends at the fac tory. (He is leaving for the army the next day.) She starts to cry. He asks her why. She explains, “I’ll never be able to finish this beef alone.’’ The conversation is simple, real stuff because people do say very real things at times like this. (Mickey Rooney and Hardy Family realism is avoided.) After dinner the guy and his wife go out for a walk, window-shopping, strolling in the parks, as they have hundreds of times before. They naturally talk about the war, but the guy doesn’t even say anything about having to destroy fascism all over the world. He's go ing because he’s been drafted. A lot of other guys have gone, and he’ll come back with them if he’s lucky. That’s all there is to the story. The narrator repeats the “Illinois maybe” phrase and sort of sums up the idea. Then comes the half hour com mercial. Oh, well . . . Reeti, And /Handed. By AL YOUNG An open .Letter to Miss Marguerite Wittwer. My Dear Miss Wittwer: We have just concluded our first reading of your editorial entitled, “On Wolves . . . We are still won dering exactly what purpose, if any, you had in mind when you sat down before your typewriter and batted out the aforementioned editorial. Speaking as a “wolf’’ of long years experience, we protest the degrada tion of the American male in such a manner. In the first place, you do not seem to realize that if it were not for this man you choose to call wolf, you would be obliged to place the prefix “Miss’’ before your name for some years to come. That is unless an automobile ran over you, which, in view of your editorial, is not at all unlikely if a service man cor- j relates you and the edit. Likely as j not he would be all too willing to | give you an ever so gentle shove be- i fore a ten ton truck. We really got a lot out of this j editorial—yes, indeed. We were j especially glad to learn that the j gals are tired of the same old line of sugar coated bushwa. We might say that we are also tired of the same old bushwa coming from the 1 opposite gender. It seems to us that: every living organization on the j campus has a line which came with the school. However, the experience gained by visiting the various houses is decidedly enriching to our store of knowledge. We know that the girls haven’t had as much fun as we have. They are still as provin cial as ever. Furthermore, we think that your sense of analogy has gone of on a tangent. We'd be willing to bet you that we could find you some margarine that couldn’t be told from butter, by taste, anyway. We are ever so glad that you don’t speak for the entire feminine population. ’Cause this thing could be tough on both of us. Sincerely, A. Y. Among the Best.—books, Thomas Wolfe’s The Hills Beyond . . . ideas, the Military Ball . . . poetry, Be Angry at the Sun by Robinson Jef fers . . . basketball teams, the AAF Ducks . . . music,, Shostakovich’s Seventh Symphony . . . characters, James Stovall ... a really fine joe . . . psychological enjoyments, the quiet of a great library ... in beau tiful tragedy, Oregon’s raw, rugged sea coast. . . where the wind meets the night and ocean spray falls cross the tide . . . this is every thing and nothing. "TRUE TO LIFE" with MARY MARTIN DICK POWELL Plus "YOUNG IDEAS" RICHARD CARLSON and SUSAN PETERS "HIYA SAILOR" plus "DRUMS OF FU MANCHU" also Serial, News, 2 Color Cartoons fie cMil Valentine IN ONE OF OUR NEW | I • Dresses • Suits • Coats DOROTHY DUREE 1080 Willamette Balance that Budget! Students find that one of our checking accounts is an aid toward keeping their finances in balance. EUGENE BRANCH UNITED STATES NATIONAL BANK Head Office—Portland MEMBER ED 1C Calling All Ducks After the Military Ball why not net? drop in for a snac ALL NIGHT SERVICE Chiaramontes Cafe LOCATED AT GREYHOUND DEPOT FOR THE Military Ball Orchids and Corsages A large variety of types Chase Gardens 53 East Broadway Phone 4240