KHAKI CLIPS
aA UL
By Yutch
Each night as the last notes of
taps fade away, there are a few
■breathless air corps men who
climb, exhausted, into an upper
bunk . . . exhausted, that is,
from a long sprint home. Prob
ably they were still a block or
so from the barracks when the
bugler began his lights-out play.
friend to those helpless he
roes of Hendricks hall, we have
designed a zoning system for the
campus . . . zoning system much
the same as you see in the mail
order catalogs. You see, we fig
ure that if a man times it right,
he can leave at a certain minute
and be in his bunk at 2217 ( the
extra two minutes are echoes
from taps) . . . and a man can
time it right if he knows how
far he will have to go.
This is not written for those
Steady few who haunt the same
places night after night . . . they
should have homeward retreat
timed perfectly by now.
Jilfcw for the matter of beat
ing the bugle:
From the library (if you study
until 2200 o’clock, sucker) you
should make it to the center of
the zone, Hendricks hall and the
bugler, in one minute and fifteen
^he library may be said
to^^ify the “near zone” or the
zone of "no-excess-sprinting.”
Dark corners of the same proxim
ity are also to be considered in
this zone.
The “near zone” does not in
clude Taylor’s, the Side and the
cemetery . . . they are examples
of the first zone, from which a
person should never take more
than two and a half minutes. If
your slide rule is sticking because
of the moist atmosphere, we’ll
tell you that such timing allows
you to start for home at twelve
and a half minutes past 2200.
Now getting down to the more
distant zones:
zone two is considered a con
which embraces such so
houses as Tri-Delt on the
south to the Chi O (and neigh
bors) on the west. From this
group you’d better break away
at eleven minutes past ten. (Note:
the change from army time to
coed^Hme notation is due to your
young lady’s looking at her
watch—you don’t expect her to
say "twenty two hundred and
eleven’’).
We might break into the con
tinuity to remind the soldier that
this does not include the time of
Saying good-night ... we can
not be responsible for men who
linger longer than their allotted
time. Each man has his own
problem and certainly should
know his own weakness.
The next concentric includes
the more remote environs of such
as the ADPi and the DU house
(there are women there now)
* • girls, if you are troubled
With a man after your watch
says ten past ten, don’t worry . . .
he'll miss bed check and won’t
bother anyone again for a long
time. However, if you are plan
ning to see him again, pack him
homeward with five minutes to
spare before "Taps.”
The Alpha Phi house lies half
way between this last zone and
the outermost which may be ex
emplified by the Beta house
known this^year as Lombardy
lodge. Use your judgment on this
lastizone but we’d adise you give
yourself at least seven minutes
. . , don’t argue, do you want to
tun all the way back?
There are many places we have
emitted but you should get the
general zoning system and the
(Please turn to Page four)
COMMUNIQUE
I he sophomore class had to call
off their dance this Saturday
night. The army hoys were quite
willing, even anxious, to promote
another army-sponsored formal
to keep everyone happy. But . . .
officials officiated ... no dance.
Out of the blue comes a quickie
suggestion, though. Since the Ig
loo and Gerlinger hall have been
closed for the weekend, why not
stage an impromptu dance any
way? The air corps did all right
for themselves in Hendricks hall
last week. John Straub hall has a
large enough mess hall that, if
all the fellows slid the tables
back, a bunch of engineers could
dance there. House dances are
common on the campus ... a
tradition, it seems. Why not a
series of them this weekend ?
This football team, fellows, it's
your team. The campus coeds and
civilian men have been swell
about rooting for the boys. But
last Sunday’s turnout was not
enough to warrant another game.
The team was “decommissioned''
at eight o'clock Monday morn
ing,, was finally put back on ac
tive duty at nine. Folks thought
not enough of us were interested.
Show ’em this time.
We've been hearing things on
the campus. Some juicy rumors
have been floating the way of all
good rumors. But we think there
have been these worthy possi
bilities mentioned. First, the idea
of a Campus Canteen. The fellows
would like to meet their girl, have
a coke, bar, dance to a nickelo
deon. Possibly something like
the service unions on other cam
puses ... on a smaller scale, of
course.
And how about these oft-sug
gested Sunday date dinners in
the various soldier units? Mrs.
Turnipseed is all for the idea and
it seems that the thing should go
over in a big way with the kids.
We could invite dates, have half
of a company at a time, and do
wonders for their morale.
fyJalda &tepA, Out
Blind-dates Dame;
Forgets Her Name
Aside from shaving for inspec
tions eviery Saturday morning
and enduring a leaky raincoat,
there is one non-g.i. activity
that every soldier-student under
goes at least once in his stay on
the campus. That’s the blind
date.
Sooner or later it happens to
every man. The source may vary,
but the routine remains the same.
Symptoms preceding the attack
are usually strained neck and
crossed eyes, caused by difficul
ties incurred in trying to see all
the lovely scenery while march
ing at “eyes front.” Finally,
something in a man snaps.
Some are pensive, some are
impulsive, some sneak their
names on a list, the most normal
burst forth in a frenzy and hel
ler, “Whothehellcan fix me up
for Saturday night?” And he’s
off.
Naturally, somebody knows
somebody who knows somebody
else who’s girl friend’s roommate
has fixed up good dates for fel
lows.
“Bygawd, she’d better be a
queen or I’ll stand her up,” he’ll
invariably mutter. “I’m taking a
big chance -here and I don't want
it to goof off.” (Yeah, but look
at the chance she’s taking, Wal
do.)
At last, Saturday night, dies
irae, arrives. All day long, he
stumbles in cadence from class
to class. “I hope she’s a teeto
taler . . . it’s a whole six days
to payday. Who’s gonna loan me
a buck? What's on at the “Mac”
tonight?”
Evening drifts upon him in his
mood. He shaves as closely as if
he were meeting the colonel’s
daughter. After wiping the blood
from his face with a lipstick
smeared handkerchief and stip
tic pencil, he began to look for
the trivia he had mislaid in the
process of getting ready.
“Where’s that clean shirt I've
been wearing the last two weeks ?
Who put my left shoe on my
right foot? What happened to
my new toothbrush that I brought
all the way from Camp Roberts
that I used to clean my rifle?
Who knows what time it is?
What’s her name ? Where did that
dammole blitz cloth go?”
Finally, our trembling target
for romance is declared to be
ready. With a fellow - wolf - in -
Uncle - Sam’s - Quartermaster -
corps - clothing taking him in
tow, he sets out.
“No, not yet, fellers — we're
only ten minutes late and Alfa
Phalfa Moo just six blocks past
the end of the bus line. Whattya
say we drop into the Side and
quaff a few ? Aw, jeez, fergot my
draft card—make it Taylor’s.
What’s that gal’s name? I got,ta
have strength . . . noive.”
# « *
Part II next week. Will Waldo
be quaffing at Taylor’s? Will he
be knocking at the door of Alfa
Phalfa Moo? What is her name?
Don't miss the next griping epi
sode on your army page next
Thursday.
STAFF
Co-editors:
Warren Miller
Bob Stephensen
Scribes:
Richard Murway
Harold Hall
Gail Myers
Shaun McDermott
Thomas Guidera
Or maybe we'll have a G.T. Jill
at the dance Saturday to take
the place of Betty Coed.
And these traditions . . .
thought this was a coeducational
school! Where are the coeds in
my classes ?
The various groups under the
war emergency council arc all
going full blast to provide a lit
tle harmless fun for the boys in
uniform this weekend, too. The
center of activities promises to
be the YM and the YW . . . pup
pet show at 7:30 Saturday eve
ning by the Girl Reserves, open
house as every Saturday, dancing,
refreshments.
The Baptist, Methodist (Wes
ley), Presbyterian (Westminster)
churches all have planned spe
cial Hallowe'en parties with at
mosphere, cider, doughnuts and
apples, and all the trimmings.
These things offer a lot of good
entertainment, plenty of mixing
and getting-acquainted . . . try
them out sometime.
—Bob Stephensen.
"SOULS AT SEA"
with Gary Cooper
"SUBMARINE
ALERT"
with Richard Arleil
Two Big Hits
"STORMY
WEATHER"
with Lena Horne and
Bill Robinson
"AERIAL
GUNNER"
with Chester Morris
Richard Arlcn
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