PUBLISHED BY THE ASSOCIATED STUDENTS OF
THE UNIVERSITY OF OREGON
Fred W. Colvig, editor Walter R. Vernstrora, manager
LeRoy Mattingly, managing editor
Day executive:
Day editor:
Desk Staff This Issue
Margaret Ray
1 rmajean Randolph
Night editors :
Edwin Robbins
John Yalleau
Night Staff This Issue
Assistants :
Ruth Ketcbum
Betty Van Delicti
Mary Pope joy
’Old Wives’ Tale’
“J pledge allegiance to my ilag and to the
republic for which it stands.”
Thus, began our morning ritual in gram
mar school. Then the teacher—Miss Metcalf
it was—made us stand individually, inspected
our nails, necks, and ears, and (questioned
about our health habits. Had we washed our
teeth; had we bathed lately; were we “regu
]ar”—she was a bear for that sort of thing
—and had we all drunk our six glasses of
water the day before?
We young scrubs were a healthy lot in
those days, and even now we are wont to
attribute our grade-school robustness to that
early supervision of our bodily hygiene.
That’s what put us in mind of a whale of
a good editorial topic.
# * *
TV/fOST of the collegians we know bathe and
1 A brush their teeth and that sort of thing,
but many of them, we thought, don’t drink
enough water. Undoubtedly—we went on in
our mind-—that might account for the wide
prevalence of colds. Here was a good chance
to take a crack at the water fountains around
the campus, the ones where you turn the
handle and the water barely oozes out and
you don’t get enough water to moisten a
postage stamp.
But, just as a more or loss perfunctory
check-up to make sure of the therapeutic and
general salutary benefits of 1120, we buzzed
Doc Miller over at the Health Service.
It’s a good thing we called up, for that
rash display of medical knowledge to which
we first felt impelled might have made a
monkey out of us and discredited our editorial
coumni no end.
* * #
npO be brief, all this water-drinking stuff
may just be an old wives’ tale. Doctors
differ in their opinions, but the consensus is
that you won’t become a Charles Atlas merely
by tanking up on aqua pura. Doctor’s agree
that when a patient with a fever is perspir
ing greatly he should be given plenty of
water to keep up his bodily “water balance,’’
but best opinion snorts at the idea of keeping
the flesh and bones in trim by drinking the
mystic “six glasses a day.” Some persons,
for instance a man tending a blast furnace,
will need to drink more water than the tra
ditional six glasses. Hut they won’t need a
doctor to tell them. .A dry throat gives them
all the prescription they need.
Well, we were floored, to put it mildly.
Here, after cussing these drinking fountains
for two years, we finally build up a logical
blast only to have Doc Miller wet our powder.
Foiled. Curses.
^^11, bill our fertile brain spurkel with au
oIIht idea.
If palrons have to pill their lips over the
aperture of a drinking fountain ami suek
the water out like a humming bird at a glad
iola, won't a swarming eolony of microbes
stake claim?
Yes, Doe Miller agrees. So there.
Now, how about having something done
about it?
It isn’t thi‘ fault ‘of the fountains them
selves. The fountains. Dr. Miller avers, are
signed, sealed, and certified by Crane and
Koehler of Koehler to In' the most sanitary,
the most well made, and the most efficient
dispensers of ll'JO that the human hand has
yet devised.
But is is the fault of whoever has the job
of regulating them. Whoever those persons
are, they must think they’re controlling a
flow of the “blushful llippoerene” or some
other rare potable.
Why so stingy. Hell s bells, we have a
whole river full of the stuff flowing out here
a block.
This isn't the Sahara desert, but maybe
we’ll all have to start carrying canteens at
that.
No Two-Headed Calves
OIBLEY will not appear on the campus
because Eugene does not have regular
airline service that would enable him to meet
other coast engagements. Ha. no great loss,
either. And thal isn't sour grapes.
Newspaper columns contribute to a var
iety of inten sis and “ Believe- It < >r Not Kip
ley undoubtedly satisfies some element of the
popular taste. But the cartooning spell-binder
gives scarcely the sorot of presentation for
which a university should pay good money,
especially when that money can he expended
in bringing more worthwhile features to the
campus.
*
#
#
TRIPLEY is smart; he’s clover, and lie prob
ably makes loads of money collecting
curious odds and ends of knowledge and pass
ing them on to tin; public. Still lie is hardly
what one woull call instructive aesthetically,
scientifically, or even practically.
lie might have come to the campus, amazed
us lightly with his facile crayon sketching,
tickled us with a few loose bits of euriosa.
But when he left, what would we have for
our money?
Ripley was rather a tinsel figure in the
ranks of personalities'scheduled in this year's
concert and lecture series—the Cossack chor
us, Roland Hayes, the Ballet Russc, Nino
Martini. With his flea circus and his two
headed calves, Side-Show-Man Ripley looked
strangely out of place.
* # *
fact that Eugene is only a “whistle
stop” for coast airlines—as Barney Clark
puts it—has for oner* stood us in good stead.
Our inability to provide air connections for
Mr. Ripley has enabled us to remove the one
weak spot in an otherwise superb lyceum and
concert program.
The concert and lyceum committee, it is
hoped, will make good use of its opportunity
and replace Ripley with a presentation more
in accord with University taste.
Miscellany
Nyaaa to T CLACA from OSC
jyjARRlED students at the University oi
Oregon have organized!
The brainstorm of a week-old bridegroom,
the new group calls itself the “Two Can Live
As Cheaply Association.” This front-page
news in yesterday’s Oregonian came as a
laugh to Oregon State’s Merry Ti-eds, lor
they have been organized four years, long
enough to learn the fallacy of the popular
saying.
Publicity on the TOLAOA in the Oregonian
suggests that the group will help in the for
mation of similar organizations on other col
lege campuses by distributing iniormation.
TCLACA leaders may be a bit discouraged
when they discover that they have not struck
on a new idea. Several groups on the coast
as well as in the mid-west and east, could
give lots of pointers to the “newlyweds” at
Eugene.
*< .* *
npiIR Merry Ti-eds, local club, lias progress
ed far beyond the honeymoon stage. The
group operates much like a fraternal society,
with a constitution and initiation ritual. In
this way, group solidarity is assured.
Social affairs are scheduled once a month.
The liomc-oc auditorium is often the scene oi
that Merry Ti-eds’ parties. Discussion groups
are fostered as means of promoting interest
of the married students in current atlairs and
their own problems. Dr. •!. \\. Ellison will
lead tlie group Friday in a discussion on high
lights of the world today.
The Merry Ti-eds believe that the TCLACA
is on the right track, and while regarding
organizers of the Eugene group as upstarts,
the Oregon State group encourages them as
followers in a worthy cause. Barometer.
Campus Comment
- ■ • 1 - _ _ alc"11'
(The views aired in thin column ate not necessati.y
I expressive of Umorald i>olicy. Commumcations should he
I kept within a limit oi 250 words. Courteous restraint should
he observed in reference to personalities. .No uitsigttevt tcucis
J will be accepted.) __
To th eiiitor: It is with thorough disgust and
in a spirit of relentless rebellion that I write to
you, sir, on a subject which all true Americans
are brooding deeply. I had hoped that you, sir,
the editor of the Emerald, would have seen your
editorial duty yourself anti thrown the resources
of your powerful and stirring daily to the protec
tion of one of our fellow citizens who, defenseless
and friendless, has apparently been abandoned to
the whims of a decadent foreign country.
I speak, sir, of Alls. Wallis Simpson. 1 say that
a nation-wide movement must be inaugurated
within the next twenty-four hours to defend the
honor of one of the fairest Americans that lias
graced our shores since that great day when we
severed forever tlie bonds of slavery 1 refer to
that glorious fourth of July, 1770 1 say, sir. we
must act immediately.
Americans have very generously offered to the
decadent, crippled, congenitally unsound royal
English lint a specimen of the very finest Ameri
can womanhood. Though we are no longer a
British possession, we still have a great love and
respect for this stupid and shortsighted kingdom
which ever since the bloody horror of '70 has been
suffering from a form of dry rot. We were grad
ually forgetting those horrors of the revolution ant*
until thesi last three months cur relations had
been improving most felicitously
Now, sir, as a part of this program to cement
the bonds between the mother country and our
own great America, and as 1 have previously stat
ed. to restore to the British line the healthy life
blood which it has lost these last seven hundred
years, and to keep the scions of the house of U ind
sor physically and mentally capable of executing
their numerous duties, (the laying of cornerstones,
inspecting of tenements etc.' America generously
• od in man iage tlr. . lovely vivucio
f
Tune ’er
Out...
By BOB BOLLOCK
By the time this mess of type is
! set before you, it will be Thursday,
■ so maybe we’d better tell you all
about the radio programs this day
j . . but obviously you don’t give a
j warn what they are or you wouldn’t
I be reading this. According to the
] rules, however, we write a "radio”
column. Here it is stooges:
I WORLD'S LOUSIEST PUN:
Says Bob Burns, “I don’t want
to say my lines in Shakespearean
language. People hack in Van
Buren, my home town, are liable
I to think I’ve gone high hat.”
| Cracks back Wiggy Bing Crosby,
“What do you care, Van Buren
is only a little Hamlet!” Anoth
er choice one that contributes
materially toward our inordinate
taste for the stuff that made
Milwaukee famous, is all about
a dope who got a present of a
pair of soft-leather gloves and
J exclaimed, “What’s this? Is
j somebody trying to kid me?”
It’s Thursday as we may have
mentioned. And do you know what
happens every Thursday ? Oh sure
i the sun gets up, the profs put us
all to sleep, and Del Bjork makes
another all-coast or all-American
outfit, but there’s something else
Guess what? It’s the symphony!
8:15. KGW. Liszt’s Hungarian
Rhapsody No. 1; Moussourgsky'.
: Night on the Bare Mountain, and
'Wagner’s (pronounced Vagner)
, Overture—Flying Dutchman.
Others you can put in rod and
stick around for arc all the old
standbys: Kraft Music hall at 7
oil KGW—the outfit that just
gave Jack Keough a job . . .
Maxwell House showboat at 8:30
on KEX . . . and, of course, A’
’n’ A—we never listen to ’em
and we use Dr. West’s tooth
paste, but it’s a good program
all the same.
Thin won't contribute to your
inimical education but it seems that
Professor Horn carne off with ver
bal honors again yesterday.
It seems one of his classes
stayed away in droves, so, some
what irritated, he gave the faith
ful who appeared a little essay to
write. Inspiration came to one
member of the class—inspiration
of the finer sort—his masterpiece
was a title.
Deigning to hide his light under
a bushel until Horn could collect
the essays, this lad scrawled his
marvel across the top of a sheet
of paper and rushed up to the desk.
‘‘Hey, prof, some title, eh?”
quoth he.
Horn scanned the sheet, not too
eagerly. It read: “A Reign Appre
ciated.
“Yes,” he said dryly, “I hear it
poured over Salem yesterday.”
The acid test of chivalry these
days is giving your last cigaret to
a lady.
Hop’s
SKIPS & JUMPS
By ORVAL HOPKINS
^LL the girls file into the room
and divest themselves of coats
and jackets and gloves and scarves
and bocks, spreading all such im
pedimenta around them in impos
ing array. Which is all very well,
and I would say or do nothing to
detract from these attempts at
comfort.
Then when the lecture or dis
cussion gets nicely under steam
they decide it’s too cold in the
room and with practically one
accord they draw their coats
around them, helping each other
at this little ritual in a manner
which is truly heart warming.
Soon they hear something (won
der of wonders) which attracts
their attention and into a capa
cious purse or bag they plunge
' in search of a pencil, meanwhile
rattling contents of this article
of luggage loudly.
The payoff comes when the bell
rings just as the professor has
started a pointed thought. Not a
man in the class moves. But one
girl picks up a scarf and waves it
; around in the air like a flag’ in an
attempt to fasten it around her
neck without raking her coiffure.
Another grabs her books and pois
es them on her lap, all set for a
quick dash to the door when the
gentleman finishes. A third push
es back her chair and reaches for
seams in her stockings, so that
boys won’t be disillusioned when
she steps out on the rialto.
I shall become anti-female if
this keeps up. And besides, though
I don’t want to appear in favor of
any radical change in college at
titudes, it still seems to me that
students owe at least a little re
spect to their professors.
* * *
rj’HIS being the season for all
American selections, and no
body having asked me for a con
tribution, I’ll lift one bodily from
my home town paper of several
years ago, with all due apologies
to Mr. Bob Letts, if I may say so,
sir.
IJE—Jugg, of Hum;
LT—Bottle, of Milk
1,0—Tis, of Thee
C—Fourth, of July
KG—.Mother, of Pearl
KT—Life, of Iiiley
RE—Girl, of My dreams
Q—Will, o’ the Wisp
LSI—Height, of Folly
RK-Jack, of All Trades
F—O’Aong, of Songs
There you have it, children, and
let there be no more of this.
^NOTHEIt quip of which I'd be
proud had I pulled it is this,
from Walter Winched several
years ago: It was at a function for
a Broadwayite and several column
ists were called on to make
“breezy" speeches. A critic report
ed: “The wits of the town got up
and bunted.''
And now—midnight oil, here I
come.
coot
■Lights
By EDGAR C. MOORE
TODAY’S ATTRACTIONS
HEILIG: “Ranger Courage” and
“Down to the Sea.”
JlcDONAL: “The Last of the
Mchicans” and “Here Comes
Carter.”
STATE: “The Man From Gun
town” and "Racing Blood.”
KEX: “The Last of the Mohi
cans” and “Here Comes Car
ter.”
MAYFLOWER: “M’Liss.”
James Fenimore Cooper's clas
sical novel, "The Last of the Mo
hicans,” a tale of frontier adven
ture, is dramatized on the screen
of the McDonald with Binnie
Barnes, Randolph Scott, Henry
Wilcoxon, Heather Angel, and
Bruce Cabot in the feature roles.
The companion picture, “Here
Comes Carter” is a rapid moving
tuneful narrative of an ever-seeing,
all-telling Hollywood reporter.
Anne Nagel, wife of Ross Al
exander, appears with her husband
in “Here Comes Carter” in a sing
ing and dancing role.
Ross Alexander, one of the film
capital's climbing stars, Anne Na
gel, Hobart Cavanaugh, and Glen
da Farrell are included in the cast.
“Down to the Sea” with Ben
Lyon and Russell Harelip at the
Heilig brings to Eugene a dramatic
tale of tropical typhoons and
fights with man-eating sharks.
Also on the bill is “Ranger Cour
age” in which Bob Allen is starred.
* * *
"The Last of the Mohicans” and
“Here Comes Carter” are also
playing at the Rex for tonight
only.
* sit *
Kid McCoy has the leading role
in “Man From Guntown,” a west
ern melo-dramer at the State.
“Racing Blood” is on the same
bill.
“M’Liss” in which Anne Shirley',
who made her first starring ap
pearance in “Anne of Green Ga
bles” and John Beal, minister in
“The Little Minister,” are teamed
together in a down-to-earth story
of gossip in a small town, at the
Mayflower tonight.
Send the Emerald to your friends.
Subscriptions only $3.00 per year.
trancing young southern belle, Wallis Simpson.
And sir, we made a great mistake. England
lias stricken a death blow to Anglo-American
to recognize Mrs. Simpson. By doing that, England
has strucken a death blow to Anglo-American
friendship. They have slapped America in the
face and have refi.sed to mix the blood of their
decrepit monarch with fresh, healthy American
slock.
It is with deep regret, sir, that I say to you and
to all Americans that to satisfy the demands of
honor, we liavo only one course. This course, sir,
is a tragic one but necessary unless we are to
humble om selves to the rank of slaves.
War, sir. WAR.
As soon as we have sent a battleship to rescue
Mrs. Simpson from the British pillars of right
eousness then let us mobilize the entire military
and naval force of the United States and our own
R.O.T.C. and defy vile England.
War, sir. unless England apologizes and accepts
as an alternat Aimee Semple McPherson. Re
venge. —-Robert Prescott.
Spanish History Helps
Explain Present Strife
By MARGARET RAY
“It is necessary to study the history of Spain if you wish to under
stand the present revolution,” Anna M. Thompson, assistant professor
of Romance languages, declared in commenting on the Spanish strug
gle. Miss Thompson has spent ten years in Spain, teaching at the
International Institute and working in the American embassy.
“The present leftist government was legally elected in 1931, with the
sanction- oi iving aiiuusu. me jvmg
was, for a long time, one of the
most popular men in Spain, and it
was often said that he would be
elected president if a republican
form of government was estab
lished. He became unpopular fol
lowing the massacre of Spanish
troops in Morocco, which was
caused by the strong military
policy he instituted there. Feeling
against him reached a peak when
he allowed Primo de Rivera to be
come dictator. Spain will never
stand a dictatorship for long. She
has never yet submitted to domin
ioi},” Miss Thompson declared.
In 1931, at the demand of the
people, a general election was held
to decide between a monarchist
or republican form of government.
The republicans triumphed, and
King Alfonso left the country.
“The republicans are neither an
archists nor communists,” Miss
Thompson explained. “They are
decidedly liberals, and the cabinet
which they chose was composed of
liberal men, with the exception of
Lerroux, who might have been
called a radical. Their constitu
tion was also liberal—almost ideal
istic—designed to gain the support
of all parties but particularly that
of the rightists (monarchists).
The objective of the leftists’ pro
gram was to better the condition
of the poverty-stricken peasants.
To do this, they attached some of
the large acreages of the nobles
and turned them over to the peas
ants, which, of course, caused a
great deal of ill feeling among the
rightists. Other points of their pro
gram were the granting of suf
frage to women, and the separation
of church and state. The church
was not outlawed as in Russia and
Germany, but a great many of its
privileges were taken away.
Another general election was
held in 1933, with the rightists
sweeping into power. Millions of
pesetas were appropriated from the
budget to reimburse the nobility
for land given to the peasants.
Republican Prime Minister Azana
was put on trial for his life, but
could not be convicted, and there
were numerous executions of so
called political enemies.
The reasons for the monarchist
triumph were: (1) the depression
came, impoverishing the country,
and the people wanted a change;
(2) the women’s and clerical vote
was favorable; (3) agriculture and
labor forces expected a millennium
under the republic, and were too
ignorant to see the progress which
had been made in two years; (4)
Lerroux had withdrawn from the
republican party with his bloc and
joined the rightists. The country
was divided, just about 50-50 except
for his bloc; (5) the nobles had the
money too, and probably did buy
votes.
After two years’ taste of mon
archist rule, the people returned
the republicans to power in the
1935 election. The rightists would
not admit the legality of the elec
tion, and so began the revolution.
General Franco, who was exiled
by the leftists because he refused
to take the oath of allegiance, was
one of the chief fomentors.
"The revolution was going slight
ly in favor of the government until
the rightists received outside aid,”
Miss Thompson declared. "My fear
is that since she has received aid
from so many sources, Spain will
have to sacrifice some of her lands
as payment. The island of Mal
lorca is already an Italian strong
hold, and the Balearic islands will
be the next to go.
“The revolution has made some
strange bedfellows,” she remarked.
“The republicans, who were for
merly associated only with social
ists, have been forced to accept
radical aid. Some of the best peo
ple in the country have thrown
their lot in with the government,
and the rightists will have a hard
time establishing a dictatorship,
even if they are successful in the
revolution.”
“I believe Spain should be left
to her awn destiny," Miss Thomp
son declared in conclusion. "There
will probably be fighting for years
and years, but I see no reason why
she cannot recover from the con
flict as well as France did from
hers.”
Campus
Calendar
Mary Louise Ruegnitz, Allexine
George, Marceline Seavy, Cather
ine Callaway, Gwendolyn Caverhill,
Peggy Hayward, Mrs. Mary Wern
ham, Irene Heath, Jack Elders,
Maurice Kelly, and Robert Marquis
are in the Infirmary today.
Sigma Delta Chi will meet in
105 Journalism at 4:30 this after
noon.
Travel group of Philomilete will
(Please turn to page three)
Get a shake at TAILOR’S.—ad.
The Oregon Daily Emerald, official
student publication of the University of
Oregon. Eugene, published daily during
the college year exvept Sundays, Mon
days, holidays, examination periods, the
fifth day of December to January 4,
except January 4 to 12. annd March 5
to March 22, March 22 to March SO.
Entered aa second-class matter at the
postoffice, Eugene, Oregon. Subscrip
tion rate, $3.00 a year.
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