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Dad’s No Mind-Reader
^^REGON Dads corning to the campus ;i
week lienee for the tenth annual Dad’s
Day celebration are promised a real weekend
by Harney Hall, chairman of the committee
working in preparation for the event.
Chief attraction, of course, will lie the op
portunity for Dads to see their sons and
daughters in the University environment, to
see how their young-hopefuls are. taking ad
vantage of the learning of which the parental
purse avails them. Dads could hardly choose
a better time to make this visit, .for, with mid
terms out ol the way, .lolin and .lane will
have plenty ol time to steer them around.
* # #
rJTIIR “little big game” between tin1 Univer
sity irosh and the Oregon State rooks, oil
the program lor Friday night, promises to
be a real thriller. Oregon’s football hopes
ior the next lew years are tied up in the
Irosh, and those hopes have certainly soared
tile last few weeks in the performance the
yearlings have turned in. The I'rosh alwavs
play a bang up, wide-open game, free from
the cautiousness that marks varsity ball.
And tlieu there is the banquet. Usually a
banquet is nothing to rave about a dry
mouthful of stringy roast beef, a dry speech,
a mold 111 ul ol potatoes cooled in the mean
time. another long, dry speech, etc., etc. Hut
Dad’s day banquets are traditionally of an
other sort. There’ll he 300 or so chickens
cooked to a turn. Uni, tun, um. And the
.speeches will be short and .snappy. Fine food
and conviviality.
Hut you and you and you WIUU YOUR
DAI) His I 11 hKIs Not unless you invite him.
lie’s no mind-reader, for gosh salves! Well,
limit, .just stand there. Uit down and write
him!
Help Beat the Bruins
imagine, although il imi\ not lie .t
strongly-founded conceit. that to tlu>
spectator much of tin- pleasure and excite
ment ot a football game originates in the
►spirit with which a lusty corps of student
rooters imbues the contest.
Of course we must give the players some
small degree of credit, but they don't fur
nish any more than U!) per cent of the enter
tainment value. Think how valuable, on the
other hand, must be tin* presenee ol a gas,
cheering throng of collegians. Think how
thrillingly ju vena ting they must be to the
met)opolitau worker who seeks recreation tn
attending the game.
* * *
'yty'OKD this thought another was and say
lhat students have a duty to the poor
tired workingmen of Portland and it sounds
silly as all lieek, but we think it’s a meaty
idea nonetheless. Let’s give it to old Gyp.
Maybe we should fall hack on the old tried
and-true argument about the value of student
support to the team when they are in there
fighting their hearts out for the ol’ alma
mater.
What we’re driving at is this. Every stu
dent who can possibly tear himself away from
Shakespeare, Schopenhauer and .James Thur
ber should go to Portland for the UCLA game
tomorrow, whether to hearten the Rose City’s
flagging workers or to give the team the sup
port it deserves.
Little White Lies
J^OW that the line and cry has died down,
proponents of optional military 1 rainiii{JC
can consoles themselves, for they arc in no
worse position than they were before their
unsuccessful initiative bill.
Reassurance lias come from Colonel E. V. i).
Murphy, commandant, that “as in the past,
this department will accept withdrawal from
cadets on the basis of conscientious objec
tion, religions belief or conflict with employ
ment and class schedules.”
* • *
'JMlEltE is a large group of students who
oppose compulsory military training “just
because they don’t want 1o take it,” others
“because it has no academic value,” and oth
ers “because it involves an unfair discrim
ination against university students to be
singled out for such training.” Objectors on
these grounds will have to continue a hypo
critical counterfeit of conscientious objection
—but that, why (hat’s a mere nothing.
A little hypocrisy isn’t so much out of place
in a liberal institution. Ami such little white
lies won’t be recorded in heaven.
ji"j_a,....;
Campus Comment
(The views aired in this column are not necessarily
expre.isive of Emerald policy. Communications should be
kept within a limit of 250 words. Courteous restraint should
he employed in reference to personalities. No unsigned
I lotters will be accepted.
BRING BACK FOOTBALL
To the editor: Each year when red roses are in
bloom we become conscious that the old faithful
bugaboo of the campus has once more started to
taint the delicate membranes of our nostrils with a
odor not unlike that of a skunk. I speak of the
age-old battle between students of the University
of Oregon and citizens of Portland for the major
football games of the season.
This year the traditional squabble takes on a
slight difference in that it has aroused the ire of
one of the school’s most noted and active bene
factors. This gentleman, one of Eugene's foremost
business men and donor of many scholarships and
awards, has been so thoroughly irked with the
present setup that he has threatened to withdraw
his support of the University. As you know the
only games played in Eugene this season were
the breather with Portland U. and the homecoming
tussle. Although holder of a season ticket, this
ardent supporter of our esteemed institution is
tired of making weekly trips to Multnomah sta
dium to see the “home” team play.
It is true beyond any doubt that the Idaho game
played in Portland was a financial flop. Why
couldn't that game have been played in Eugene
to an enthusiastic crowd of students and towns
folk '! If what the bluenoses of Portland want is
football as played by our boys they'll come to
Eugene and see it. If all they’re after is greater
wealth for Portland, then let them go hang.
Let's bring the big games to Eugene next fall.
Give tlie students their money's worth and keep
the profit in Eugene.
Of ours for a greater 1937 season.
David Compton. |
TSK! TSK! TSK!
To Mr. Joseph Smith: Shame on you, Mr. Smith!
The only person who attempts to defend your band
in its present sorry plight gets a kick in the pants
for his trouble. And in addition you voice grave
doubts as to my intelligence! That makes me mad,
because it is a privilege heretofore accorded only to
myself.
I still insist, in my water-choked and gasping j
"ay, that the band is terrible. I tried to absolve
the band of most of the blame, but when the
drum-major calls my endorsement but an echo,
I think some criticism of the band itself is in
order.
You insist that band equipment is poor, that \
support is lacking, and in all, that everyone is
picking on the poor band.
I sii.n. you could make the most of a poor situa
tion. You might, at least, wear your complete I
uniforms, ratty as they are. 1 noticed at Portland
that some of you were without caps. You might f
polish the battered instruments you own. You
might wear uniform footgear. You might march
off the field instead of slouching off as you did
at the Washington game.
You ihum you are the best band musicians on
the coast. I say. why not capitalize on your abili- j
ties. Give dances, concerts, anything to raise
funds, and I'm sure you'll find us backing you. i
Get the authority to buy new uniforms and drill '
to your heart's content.
Your martyr attitude makes me sick. The band
should be the first to make a progressive move
and the last to say "die.” You want to place the
responsibility on other shoulders and have already
admitted defeat.
Y mi can t be the bunch of ninnies you seem to
be. because you have passed the University en
tiaiice exams, and that takes a certain amount of
intelligence. You're not helpless. Do something
yourself. ;
Vic Dallaii
Tune ’er
Out...
By BOB POLLOCK
Tonight a show we, in our aus
tere dignity, have ignored up to
j the present, but which is too good
; to leave out . . . it’s, the House of
Melody with Meredith Willson’s
orchestra and will be found on
KGW at 9:30 barring unexpected
schedule changes.
Our precocious children: a lit
tle girl, age approximately five
years, studying with rapt inter
est the pictures in one of our
filthier illustrated weeklies in a
local drug store . . . kids like
that should he kept home . . .
we had to wait five minutes to
get at the magazine.
Yesterday we told you a few
things that were wrong with Ore
gon’s blowhards, the band. Today
a few suggestions: 1. Put the boys
under the supervision of the mili
tary department. At present,
they’re tossed hither and yon v/ith
ASUO, the music department, and
the ROTC taking them at different
terms. 2. Arrange to give band
members credit in either the mu
sic or the military departments.
And don't OK this credit unless
they learn how to drill so they can
present at least a few formations.
13. Save up a little cash and get
’em uniforms that look a little less
like the outfit that an organ grind
er’s monkey wears. Good outfits
cost about $60 so this may take a
little time, but should be worth it
in the end. 4. For somebody’s
sweet sake, buy ’em some music
other than “Mighty Oregon” and
the two marches they hammer out
on the slightest provocation. And
then, “you’ll have a band, my son.”
Example of the hooey press
agents deluge radio columnists
with: “A tribute to the eloquence
of Ken Carpenter, NBC an
nouncer on Kraft Music hail is
contained in a letter received
this week.
According to the letter, Carpen
ter’s commercial on behalf of
Kraft cheese was so appealing that
a mouse in the writer’s home was
so carried away he deliberately
caught himself in a cheese-less
trap.” Ugh, cheese is right!
And the slogan now stands “As
Maine goes—so goes Vermont” . . .
Campus
Calendar
The Eugene Hockey club meets
this afternoon at 4 o'clock.
In the infirmary today are: La
verne Littleton, Edgar YVulzen,
Betty Brady, Arlene Heath, Betty
Paske, Jean Rawson, Helen Jones,
Irwin Breekwach, Bob Piper, Emi
lio Ocampo, Douglas Milne, Harry
Hodes, Pat Cassidy, Winston Al
lard, and Warren Gill.
Scabbard and Blade will hold
their formal pledging banquet at
the Del Rey cafe Sunday evening
at t> o'clock.
Executive committee will hold a
short but important meeting this
afternoon at 4:00 in the educa
tional activities department.
Anything Goes!
wmmm
—Horace tJ. Slugg.
Frosh Girls Frigid as
Film Stars, Dater Finds
By JOHN PINK
After many futile attempts, I have come to the very definite conclu- '
3ion that for a freshmen fellow to try and date one of these freshmen :
gals is like the American drivers trying to beat Tuzio Nuvolari (call
him Tony) in the Vanderbilt road race. You get what I mean. It’s no i
dice. Might as well try to date Garbo, Dietrich, or Edna Mae Oliver. 1
I haven’t always held this cynical attitude. No Suh. During the
first couple weeks of school 1 look
ed upon their creamy complexions
(six bits a jar) and their well
groomed hair (one buck per time)
with a great deal of interest, think
ing that this college was going to
be peachy.
So with high spirits and happy
mien, one day, I approached one of
these Kampus Kweens (K as in
dumbeli English) and asked for a
date. Just like that. I didn’t want
to marry the gal but to hear her
go on you’d think that I'd pro
posed to the whole family—includ
ing her Aunt Hattie, the one that
hasn’t seen a man for forty years.
She arched a hairline eyebrow,
bared her perfect bicuspids and
shot at me, “How many years have
you played football, are you a class
prexy, are you a Friar, etc.’’
She was certainly afflicted with
that very prevalent disease among
freshmen gals—Biggus Shotittus.
So I staggered away from that
skirmish reeling like an old grad
ft Homecoming. I thought, “Buck
up, my lad. You just drew a tough
one that time. They’re not all like
that.”
As usual I was wrong. I ap
proached fifty other gals and here
is a tabulated record of the re
sults: 45 cut me shorter than a
:ol!ege man's hair in the summer
time; 2 asked me why I didn’t find
seme nice high school girl; 1 said,
‘You’re too young yet, son"; 1
?ave me a radiant smile (but I
found out later that there was a
oig football player, with shoulders
>n him like a truck, standing be
uind me.)
That’s even a worse average
ORTHOGON LENSES and
Ful-Vue frames gives you
clear vision to the very edge
Ask for
ORTHOGON
LENSES
ELLA C.
MEADE
OPTOMETRIST ,
14 W. 8th
NEWT SMITH,
Owner
!
The wise old bird says:
"The tasty,bite
that hits you right,
can be found
at the
COLLEGE SIDE '
INN
than the Ducks have in their pass
ing attack. I still wasn't defeat- (
ed—me and the optionalists—so I
sent out ten special operatives or ,
G-men (as in gal, get it) and all j
my previous finding were verified ,
with one exception. One dope got a ,
date—but in looking up his family ,
record I found that he had two ,
brothers on the varsity team, was j
a cousin of Davy Davis, and Clark -
Gable was his uncle.
So I think I will buzz over and <
see my senior gal friend. 1
i
The size of your brain, scientists
say, is just about two-thirds that '
of your head. 1
Travel Adds
(Continued from pcujc one)
he eighteenth centuries was con
rasted to that of the hurried build
ngs of the nineteenth century, in
Vfrs. Allen’s talk. The old, dur
ible construction won the esteem
>f the Americans, whereas the new
suildings of recent style and origin
vere too much the replicas of
American nineteenth century ar
:hitecture.
As an example of a real Euro
)ean house, Mrs. Allen told of the
lome of Honore Willson Morrow,
i college friends of hers who is a
veil-known writer of novels and
irticles. Mrs. Morrow’s home is in
he southern part of England near
levon, and was built about 1290.
expert workmen were hired to
latch the stone walls, repair the
hips’ timbers which were the
learns, and lay a new thatched
oof of wheat sheaves.
Great, praise was expressed by
drs. Allen for the super-modern
lighways and forests found in Ger
I
Freshman
Faux Pas
(Note: Today begins Freshman
‘ Faux Pas, a regular feature on
amusing mistakes in word usage
made by freshmen. f Numerous
books and articles have been writ
ten on such misunderstanding of
words by grade school students,
but, as instructors find, college
students make similar ridiculous
errors.)
Five industrious freshmen gave
a great variety of meanings to the
word "inculcate" as follows:
The wheat was inculcate.
He will inculcate bad weather
for Christmas.
It was an inculcate of his man
ner.
He is inculcate for the job.
His manner were inculcate.
“Inculcate" means to instill or
implant upon the wind by frequent
repetitions or admonitions. It ranks
in the first 14,000 of Thorndike’s
20,000 words used most frequently
in the English language.
many. The roadways are con
structed for speed and safety prin
ciples. Crossings are avoided by
having them run overhead or un
derneath the main road. The for
ests are planned so that they pre
sent the greatest beauty and con
veniece to the public, she said.
Mrs. Allen’s talk was followed
by a question and and answer for
um, after which refreshments were
served.
A banquet was held at the An
chorage earlier in the evening for
members, pledges, and alumni of
Theta Sigma Phi, national journal
ism honorary for women.
‘Bury the Dead’
(Continued from page one)
next week's observance of peace
week.
Tickets are now on sale by the
council at the YMCA and YWCA,
the Westminster house, and at Mc
Morran and Washburne’s, for the
two final performances next week.
The play is directed by Ottilie
Turnbull Seybolt, head of the
drama department, with sets and
lighting by Horace W. Robinson.
Here's to the seven temptations
of man—six drinks and a woman.
No man works at TAYLOR’S, adv.
in Judedial
Cous
\
Company coming from Boston . . . Aunt Sophia,
Jebediah! Eva runs to Aunt Betty’s to tell her the news.
Josh hitches the colt to the double-seated chaise. Jerusha
puts the kettle on; Obed tallows up his shoes. The family’s
slick and ready now for Cousin Jebediah . . . “coming
sixty miles—think of it!—in only eight hours.’’ Slick and
ready for the latest Boston news ... “A glass thing
with a chimney that lights a whole room—called a lamp!”
Gone now forever—those Jebediah days. Fast trains
do away with the excitement of an approach. Aunt Betty
owns a telephone; Josh drives a car; Jerusha pours dinner,
cooked, out of cans; Obed thipks nothing of jumping into
brand-new shoes.
Advertisements make the differ
ence. They’ve urged convenience upon
you till you’re old-fashioned not to en
joy. Radios, refrigerators, breakfast
foods—they’ve talked about them all.
So spread the news that they are easy
for you to get. Every day the adver
tisements tell of new improvements;
tell of a number of things you might
not like to miss if you know about
them.
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