PUBLISHED BY THE ASSOCIATED STUDENTS OF
THE UNIVERSITY OF OREGON
University of Oregon, Eugene, Oregon
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The Oregon Daily Emerald, official student publication of
the University of Oregon. Eugene, published daily during the
college year, except Sundays, Mondays, holidays, examination
periods, all of December except the first seven days, all of
March except the first eight days. Entered as second-class matter
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AH advertising matter is to be sent to the Emerald Business
office, McArthur Court.
Robert W- Lucas, editor Eldon Haberman, manager
Clair Johnson, managing editor
EDITORIAL BOARD
Hcnricttc Horak, William Marsh, Stanley Robe, Peggy Chess?
man, Marion Allen. Dan E. Clark II, Ann-Reed Burns, Howard
Kessler, Mildred Blackburne, secretary to the board.
UPPER NEWS STAFF
Charles Paddock, news editor
Tom McCall, sports editor
Cordon Connelly, makeup editor
Woodrow Truax, radio editor
Miriam Eichner, literary editor
Marge l'etscn, women s editor
Louise Anderson, society editor
LeRoy Mattingly, Wayne JI.tr
hert, special assignment re
porters
REPORTERS:
Marvin Lupton, IJoyd Tupling, Lucille Moore, Paul Deutsch
niann, Ruth Lake, Ellamae Woodworth, Jiill Kline, Rob Pollock,
Signs Rasmussen, Virginia Endicott, Marie Rasmussen, Wilfred
Roadman, Roy Knudscn, Betty Shoemaker, Laura Margaret
Smith, Pulton Travis, Jim Cushing, Betty Brown, Bob Emerson.
COPYREADERS:
Mary Ormandy, Norman Scott, Gerald Crisman, Beulah
Chapman, Gertrude Carter, Dewey Paine, Marguerite Kelley,
I orce Windsor, Jean Gulovson, Lucille Davis, Dave Conkcy, War
ren Waldorf, prances True, Kenneth Kirtley, Gladys Battlrson,
George Knight. Helen Gorrell, Bernadine Bowman. Ned Chapman,
Gus Meyers. Librarians and Secretaries: Faye Buchanan, Pearl
Jean Wilson.
BUSINESS STAFF
Advertising Manager, this issue
Assistants, this issue.
Ed Morrow, promotion man
ager , , .
Donald Chapman, circulation
manager
Velma McIntyre,classified man
ager
..Dick Rculim
.Jacqueline McCord, Philip Lynch
Bill Jones, national advertising
manager
Caroline Hand, executive sec
retary
OFFICE ASSISTANTS;
Jean Erfer, June Hust, Georgette Wilhelm, Lucille Iloodland,
Louise Johnson. Jane Slatky, Lucy Downing, Bette Needham,
Betty Wagner, Marilyn Ebi, Dorothy Mihalcik.
Day Editor, this issue. Stanley Robe
Assistant Day Editor, this isue. ..LeRoy Mattingly
Night Editors, this issue.Paul Frederick, Howard Kessler
The Lumber Tariff
And Oregon’s Welfare
COMING an a blow to an already groggy
lumber industry, President Roosevelt’s tariff
reciprocity treaty with Canada with direct refer
ence to lumber is causing Oregon people much
worry right now.
Economists by and large agree that low
tariff walls are desirable for the world wide en
joyment of prosperity. The theory of territorial
specialization whereby sections of the world pro
duce goods more cheaply by the advantage of
natural or economically favorable conditions and
are hence able to sell the goods at the lowest
price, is recognized as sound.
The United States has maintained high tar
iffs because of her relative economic self-suffic
iency, has maintained a higher standard of living
for her people, and has largely ignored the rest
of the world. Nor can she be reasonably expected
to slash all tariffs. There are in the world na
tions of people with deeply ingrained habits of
thrift, self-denial, and low material requirements
for happiness, who would not put money to its
best use were it given to them. This condition
arises from ignorance, centuries of suppression,
and established and accepted modes of living.
It may be granted that this condition is not
desirable for the health and development of the
people. It will be changed by yearns of education.
As people become enlightened they demand more
and direct their attentions to the enjoyment of
higher standards of living. The United States
cannot be expected to lower her standards of
living or mark time while the less fortunate
millions advance.
Again there are nations in the world which
are retarded by stupid reasoning on the part of
this country in artificially supporting her own
industries. There are goods produced in this
country under conditions that make that produc
tion and hence the purchase price of those goods
unduly high. Yet by this practice wages are
maintained for laborers who are able to buy
them. But what happens when the rest of the
world is broke and the vast amount of United
States produced goods cannot find a market? The
efficiency of our productive methods demands
export in order to provide for the surplus. When
the exports dwindle in fact or cannot be paid
for by purchasing nations, the country slumps
and sets up a cry of over production. This ac
counts for much of our economic conflict.
In arranging reciprocal agreements with
other nations, one must consider the ultimate
advantage to the people. Some industries will
suffer; but people previously enjoying artificial
advantages under that industry will eventually
enjoy increased purchasing power of not only
the specific article previously marketed exclu
sively at home, but other commodities that are
brought into this country more cheaply from
abroad.
But caution is necessary where a large body
of people in a given section of the country depend
in the main on some one industry, and are rela
tively little sustained by other industries. This
is largely the case in Oregon.
Although the president has not divulged the
details and justifications of this treaty it may
be assumed that eastern industries will be
favored since the flood of tariff-free and cheap
er lumber will seriously curtail Oregon’s lumber
market, The hue and cry should depend on the
degree.
President Roosevelt is on the right track in
breaking down tariff walls but he must recognize
sectional difficulties and the dangers of ignoring
the Northwest even though it be politically im
potent.
No Time to Read
The Newspapers?
ANNUALLY, and as certain as the parade of
reasons, the ‘‘we students don’t have time
to read the newspapers" war cry blows, not too
gently, over the campus. Certain professors,
especially in the school of journalism, have
reached the point of satiety, and are nigh onto
sick from an overdose of the war cry.
They point the finger of scorn, and umpff at
the many idle hours spent by students shuffling
shiny pieces of paper with pretty bicycles on the
back and a lot of royal hieroglyphics on the
front in the thick-with-smoke college hangouts.
‘‘Why can't they spend a half an hour, or an
hour reading the day’s news?” they ask us. We
can't see why not, especially after a home manu
factured experiment in newspaper reading time.
A 24-page morning paper was used in the
experiment. We, and several other experimenters,
read the paper “through.” Average reading time
—30 minutes!
This is how it was done. Front page, eight
minutes. Only three of the stories were read
completely. The gist of the other 21 was gath
ered from the “heads” and the first one or two
paragraphs. Editorials, 10 minutes. ‘“Funnies,”
two minutes; page of news pictures, one minute.
Sports, three minutes. The other six minutes were
spent in varied reading “inside,” and in glancing
over an aggregate total of approximately 11
pages of advertising.
Every one of the experimenters, when ques
tioned on the state, national and world events in
the paper, could talk about them with ease sup
ported by a background of specific, knowledge
as given in the newspaper accounts.
It seems to us that as the east, west, north
and south of the world are being brought closer
together each day by the ever increasing material
developments, students cannot afford to be out
of touch with the tide of events. These events
are so much a part of everyday living that the
assertion “we students don’t have time to read
about them” seems just as absurd as if we were
to say that we had no time to live and with one
accord “folded up.”
The newspaper brings the world to our very
doorstep; its interpretations and recordings of
world news are usually accurate. It is the voice
of the world and to shut our ears to it seems—
well— just plain dumb.
Some Is—Some Isn’t
ONCE upon a day there wan a guy who dug
up some “potatoes," bought himself a suit
of clothes, half a dozen new handkerchiefs, a
fountain pen and went to college. After all what
can a guy do nowadays without a college educa
tion. His Ma and his Pa, simple hard working
folk says to him that if he is going to college
he should work hard and get a good education.
And this of course agreed with the guy’s very
intentions indeed.
So when he got to college he looked around,
saw a bunch of other guys with lots of “potat
oes," lots of suits, handkerchiefs, and fountain
pens. And he saw these guys restin’ on the back
of their heads, doin nothing and thinking less.
And yet they were in college, would get college
educations, and would get somewheres too. Yet
they did what they wanted to, how they wanted
to, and when they wanted to. And so he says to
himself “What the hell.”
But instead of standing around in the shadow
of his own gloom, and humming the Internation
ale, and brooding over the hole in the elbow of
his sweater, he rode his studies like Revere rode
Dobbin. And when on occasion he got in an
argument with some of the jelly fish he shone
like a drunkard’s nose and left the self-styled
bigwigs picking the beams out of their eyes.
The moral: ‘Some Is Some Isn’t.”
\ SMALL 80 page booklet entitled "Good
Reading,” edited by Atwood H. Townsend
and published by the National Council of Teach
ers of English offers an invaluable guide to stu
dents interested in significant and interesting
books. The student today who is confronted by
the great mass of current literature and is yet
prodded toward an acquaintance with established
and classical literature would find a convenient
ordered arrangement of these books in this little
book.
Other Editors’ Opinions
rT'HE people on streetcars are Bohemians,
really, and there is no irony in these words.
Yesterday, overhearing a conversation of two
girls in the seat ahead of me, I learned about
"Mimi, who is going to have a ” the last word
and the next 2,000 in exhilirating Russian. I
gathered only a harmless "Doskve danya” at
their parting; which means “good bye." And on
another trolley, three men in dungarees were
arguing in fancy French, using tongue, teeth,
arms and eyebrows in the process. There came,
also, a peroration from a sun-blonde long-haired
man across the aisle, who was telling his lady
listener; "Aesthetic dancing every morning I do
on my bedroom floor." Then, his voice lowered
to an intimate drawl, "In the altogether!"
In the bowl of life, which is supposed to be
full of cherries. I have discovered a grape a sour
one. concerning high place and reputation.
Emerson. Bacon and the other austere essay
ists say that power and fame get man nowhere
in the pursuit of happiness. This is a bit obvious
for happiness comes to few men, anyway, be they
kings or kitchen-cops. The philosophers are
merely trying to reconcile us to obscurity and
mediocrity, 1 think, and this is unfair to the
people who believe in the thoughts of those men.
Fame is food for vanity, power is balm to
ambition; its human nature to strain for them,
so why not ?
"Nobody wants fame” is a shibboleth of Polly
anna. The reality is, “Nobodies want fame,” and
more power to us. The Washington Daily.
NflUJ/
mid-term
grades
feI
The Marsh of Time
By Bill Marsh
Lawsuit
A lady down south sued the Tex
as and Pacific railroad company
because a brakeman kicked her. It
seems that she tried to cross the
railroad track in front of an ap
proaching switch engine, and the
brakeman very rudely kicked her
to safety.
Railroad employees should learn
better manners. That brakeman
should have taken off his hat and
said, “I know we haven't been in
troduced, but inasmuch as this lo
comotive is, in about a second and
a half, going to pass over the
track upon which you are standing,
may I be so bold as to suggest
that you step aside?” By that
time the lady would have been
ground to mincemeat beneath the
wheels of the train, and the dam
age suit might have been avoided.
Good old Clark. Always stick
ing around, just like a barnacle.
Say, that’s good, isn't it? Barna
cle Clark gad how appropriate.
We’d like to spin a few yarns
on the Barnacle, but the trouble
is, you can’t print them. Not
without getting into trouble with
Dean Schwering and half the
house mothers on the campus.
But wait, my friends, just wait.
Air Y’
❖ Listenin’
By James Morrison
Emerald of the Air
Bucky McGowan, campus dance
magnate, will entertain the KOBE
audience this afternoon at 3:45
with a few of the hot piano solos
for which he is noted. That's bet
ter than Burr ever did.
The Etherian Slant
Wayne King and his bite-proof
powder boys have serenaded the
ether sometimes from the Aragon
ballroom in Chicago and at other
times from the studio. I defy any
body, whether acoustical expert,
or Genevieve, the kitchen cynic, to
tell the difference. Wayne King's
sax solos sound just as marvelous
ly from either place, tl think
they’re lousy, and you think they're
marvelous: so they're marvelousy.)
People have been asking about
j what's happened to Paul White
| man and intimating he's just a
has-been, but it may be interesting
j to know that Palmolive, “the skin
you love to touch" soapmakers,
' have corralled his exclusive radio
i services for threes year at a tlat
million. Or a round million, what
thehell, a million bucks is a mil
lion bucks. The program will start
the first of January.
“Play Don” Be s ter. former
maestro on Jack Benny s Jello
hour, has been fined $1000 and ex
pelled from the musicians' union
for a year because he paid his mu
sicians under the stipulated scale.
Everybody is saying Glen Gray s
Casa Loma band sounds a hundred
per cent better this year than it
(Please fitrw to fage ••
Clark is going to do something one
of these nights that CAN be print
ed—and when he does he’ll get
rings back from all six of his fian
cees at once.
Mississippi
This is a game called Missis
sippi.” It originated in the old
South where gentlemen were judg
es of the three furies—whiskey,
horses and women. Here’s how
you play it. Two people get six
long, tall drinks in six long, tall
glasses. And then they sip. First
one takes a sip. Then the other
takes a sip. Then the first one
takes another sip. Then the second
one takes another sip. The first
one to miss a sip is a sissy, and
loses the game if his partner can
still say “Mississippi.”
Ow!
Seems there's a charitable old
geezer in London who takes the
London newsboys for a trip up the
Thames every year to a spot where
t I. .1. A--*..*-.#
they can swim to their heart’s con
tent. A group of lads on the out
ing were undressing for the swim,
and they noticed that one of their
number was—well, a trifle unsan
itary. Said one, “Blimey Roscoe,
dirty aintcha?”
Replied Rosco, "Cawn't help h’it.
Missed the bloody train lawst
year.”
* « *
Third Degree
Scientists are hoping to patent
a siiirt which will stop a revolver
bullet at five paces. Why don’t
they bring the test shirts to Eu
gene and run them through the
local laundries a couple of times.
If they stand up under punishment
like that, they’re bullet proof all
right.
Everybody is kicking the poor
farmer because the government is
buying crops that he doesn’t raise.
What’s so unusual about that?
Don’t lawyers get paid for cases
they lose ? Does a doctor cancel
his bill if the patient dies? Does
a school teacher get his salary cut
in proportion to the number of his
students who don’t learn a blasted
thing from him ?
* * *
The Barnacle’s bark is worse
than his writing. And that’s sink
ing pretty low.
,1,4 4,4,,1,4,4,4,. 1,4,
Again I See In Fancy
By FREDERIC S. DUNN
Hawthorne’s Tangled Tales
Dr. Charles Hiram Chapman, the
University's second President, and
his wife, also Dr. Chapman, a prac
ticing physician, were returning
from across the Willamette after
a hunt for mushrooms. Midway in
the dark tunnel of the old covered
Ferry Street Bridge, they were ac
costed by a farmer driving back
in his wagon on the Coburg road.
“What you got in your basket
there? Toadstools?” and he
grinned knowingly.
“Do you know anything about
edible mushrooms?” asked Chap
man.
“Well,” was the rejoinder, “all
I know is, you had better leave
them alone. They'll poison you.”
The President recounted the
anecdote to the assembly the next
day in Villard Hall, delivering a
learned dissertation on mush
rooms, all -with the inference that
a scientific education enables one
to choose between edible and poi
sonous fungi.* He closed with “Mrs.
Chapman and I ignored the farm
er's warning and enjoyed a most
delectable repast. And we are
alive to point the moral.”
Now it so happened that on the
next day, President Chapman was
detained by some urgent matter
and sent word that he would be
unable to attend assembly. The
students became aware of his ab
sence and apprehensive whisper
ings passed back and forth, that
perhaps, after all his scholarly dis
quisition, the President might be
ill from eating those supposed
mushrooms.
Professor Glen had just finisned
leading the assembly music, when
the tall, gaunt form of Dr. Haw
thorne unfolded itself from the
chair and strolled leisurely to the
front of the rostrum. With an im
passive face and hands intertwined
over his waist line, no one could
tell whether his words were to be
ominous or of good import.
“All things have small begin
nings,” he began in that droll
monotone. And then the assem
bly was at once in great glee,
knowing that Hawthorne was
started upon one of his unrivalled
improvisations, the delight of all
who ever heard him.
“Yes,”—after the first wave of
mirth had subsided,—and he point
ed a thumb backward over his
shoulder at Professor Glen,—“even
this big boy here, weighing over
two hundred pounds, had a small
beginning.”
This time, there were minutes
before the laughter died away and
ere Glen himself could recover
from a near stroke of apoplexy.
And so, on he went, from one sug
gested topic to another, taking in
spiration from anything tangible
or visible, and always with witty
application, till the assembly be
came almost hysterical.
Finally, knowing that by this
time the fears of the students had
been dissipated, the finale was,
“Once there was a man of science
who went out on the Sabbath to
gather mushrooms. And on the
first day of the week there was
a funeral.”
There are grads who can still
wipe away tears of sheer merri
ment over Hawthorne’s Tangled
Tales.
Next in the series a “Just So
Story" that Kipling missed.
Innocent ❖
Bystander
!
By BARNEY CLARK
People, people, people. Faces,
alia time faces flitting before my
mental mind. Goo, take ’em away!
Ah, I know that shy little pan.
Could it be La Chessman, the toast
of Astoria? It is, shouts my heart,
it's cavities pumping. Pure-hearted
Peggy, Theta’s sacrifice on the
altar of JOURNALISM. I knew
her when she popped into the Ger
linger pool room on men's night.
I knew her when she read, but did
not W'rite reviews on, books every
young girl should not know. Here
is this prim smile, this glacial
beauty, this precise mind, that
marks the pinnacle of American
Womanhood.
Ah, Peggy!
Whence this round-faced, sul
try beauty? Is it Gentle George,
4he knife-wielder? Can it be the
Root of all evil? Tell me not, I
know that subtle touch, the
mark of that fine Italian hand.
This is the throat that felt the
steel, the velvet violence that
marks the master; this the heart
that knows the poinard lurking
’neath the silken cloak.
* * *
With throaty humor do the
horns announce the clown. The
colored confetti-rain sifts down
upon “The Doctor.” Ah, Hoblett,
only such as you make real the
legend of our youth, the misty
figure in raccoon that reeled across
a thousand silver screens. A dec
ade once was his, won with a
syncopated barrage of rumble
seats, flasks, catch-phrases, shrill
laughter, easy money. Now you
are left, nursing the dying warmth
(Please turn to page three)
When the Newsboy Shouts;
Extra! Extra!
Extra!
you are curious to inspect his paper to
see what has happened.
When Eugene Merchants shout about
good bargains through the Emerald
you should be just as curious to inspect
their merchandise—it will pay you.
Tin* Eugene morehants who support
your Emerald have goods to soil you that
you need, or they woultl not spend money
to get their message to you.
If these mei'ehants did not feel that
their merehaudise was the host in quality
at the prieo offered, they would not spend
money to get this message to you.
And. if they felt that you would not
make subsequent pure liases at their store,
they would not eontinuously spend money
in the Emerald to help keep your trade.
It is to our mutiuil benefit that you ehoose EmeraKl advertisers as a directory for your Eugene buying
beneficial to you. because you arc dealing with merchants who are after your continued patronage—beneficial
to us. because with "advertising results" we arc able to put out a better Emerald.
“Mention Emerald Advertising When You buy.”