EDITORIAL PAGE OF THE OREGON DAILY EMERALD
©regim MB lEmeralfc
University of Oregon, Eugene
Arthur L. Schocnl . Editor
William H. Hammond . Business Manager
Vinton Hall . Managing Editor
EDITORIAL WRITERS
Ron Hubbs, Ruth Newman. Rex TuRsirsr, Wilfred Brown
Nancy Taylor . Secretary
UPPER NEWS STAFF
Mary Klemm .-. Assistant ManauinK Editor
lfarry Van Dine ... Snorts Editor
Phyllis Van Kimmell . Society
Myron Griffin . - L'terary
Victor Kaufman .—- * • J; {*•
Ralph David . Chief Night Editor
Claience Craw . Makeup Editor
GENERAL NEWS STAFF: Dave Wilson, Helen Cornell, Carol
Wers-hkul, Robert Allen, Henry Lumpoe, Elizabeth Painton,
Thornton Gale, Lavina Hicks. Jack Bellinger, Knthryn Feld
man. Barbara Conly, Rufus Kimball, Thornton Shaw, Robert
Guild, Hetty Harcombe, Anne Hricknell, Carl Monroe, Thelma
Nelson, Lois Nelson, Evelyn Shaner, Sterling Green.
SPORTS WRITERS: Jack Burke, assistant editor; Ralph Yer
gen, Edgar Goodnaugh, Beth Salway.
Duy Editor . Elise Schroeder
Gen. Assignment . Lenore Ely
Night Editor . Emhert Fossum
ASSISTANT NIGHT EDITORS
Elno Kyle Elaine Wheeler Wayne Anderson
George Weber, Jr. ...
Tony Peterson ..
Addition Brockman ...
Jean Patrick .
Larry Jackson ..
Petty Hagen .
Inn Tremblay ..
Hetty Carpenter .
Dot Anne Warnick ...
Professional Division
Shopping: Column .
BUSINESS STAFF
. Associate Manager
. Advertising Manager
. Foreign Advertising Manager
. MunuKcr Copy Department
. Circulation Manager
. Women's Specialty Advertisinj?
. Assistant Advertisinjc Manager
. Assistant Copy Manager
. Executive Secretary
. LauKhridjce
. Hetty Hagen, Nun Crary
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANTS: Ned Mars, Bernadine Carrico,
Helen Sullivan, Fred Held.
ADVEUTISING SOLICITORS: Larry Bay, Harold Short, Auton
Bush, Ina Tremblay.
Production Assistant .. Sterling CJreen
Office Assistants . Ellen Mills, Jane Lyon
The Oregon Daily Emerald, official publication of the Asso
ciated Students of the University of Oregon, Eugene, issued daily
except Sunday and Monday, during the college year. Member of
the Pacific Intercollegiate Press. Entered in the postoffice at
Eugene, Oregon, ns second class matter. Subscription rates,
$2.T*0 a year. Advertising rates upon application. Phone, Man
ager: Office, 1896; residence, 127.
Revised Religion
THERE are three “dynamite” subjects which an
editor can write upon—religion, prohibition, and
football.
Words spent on any of those burning issues of
modern day life will be read by some and misin
terpreted by others. The Emerald this fall took
the stand that football was over-emphasized and
was condemned by fanatics (long form of the word
“fan”) as a mouthpiece of the University adminis
tration.
Spending a few words on the subject of the
Volstead law, the daily drew down attention upon
itself from four state newspaper editors, and at
least one private citizen, who declared that “the
wets had bought up the Emerald.”
Now, without taking the attitude of H. L.
Mencken, who says, "Certainly the world should
have learned by this time that theologians make
a mess of everything they touch, including even
religion,” it is encouraging to note that rumblings
of a move to modernize the church are under way.
From Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, comes the
news that a group of eastern and mid-west college
professors have sent out a letter setting forth their
criticism of organized Christianity.
“The trend of our time is scientific. It is im
possible lor a religion which ignores or opposes this
tendency to serve the purposes of all who receive
modern education," the encyclical states.
“The great organized churches are insisting on
at least formal acceptance of a lot of medieval
superstitions. The modern mind cannot and does
not accept them actually, so we have the unfortu
nate and essentially dishonest situation of thou
sands professing to believe what they do not really
believe.”
Belief in the Jonah-whale story, the doctrine of
virgin birth, heaven and hell, miracle stories of the
Old and New Testaments, were all classed by Dr.
Jesse H. Holmes, a Quaker, who is one of the back
ers of the movement, as “medieval superstitions.”
Summing up, instead of the present-day form
of religious worship, the report proposes that Chris
tians "substitute the inspiring power of the vision
of an ideal humanity for fear or hell and hope of
heaven us a driving power in the life of men; and
that God within the unifying element which drives
men to unity in a brotherly world replace a medi
eval, imperial deity who makes irrational demands
on his human subjects and savagely punishes or
extravagantly rewards those who anger or please
him; who looks upon this world and its happiness
as immaterial or evil, centering all interest on a
supposed life after death.”
The struggle for a new religion or new inter
pretations of the old one is nation-wide, or even
world-wide. Quotations are cited herein for the
thought-content, not as an official opinion of this
or any other university, as stated in its student
newspaper as some “interested" people are sure
to interpret the printing of such material in the
Emerald if this point is not made clear.
Merely as food for thought these ideas are pre
sented; they picture a trend in religion und, as
such, are worthy of notice from any journal which
professes to be in touch with modern movements.
Perhaps in their search for a modernized religion,
these savants will strike a chord which will resound
in t lie critical, "debunked” urain of modern educa
tion.
The “Dumber Sex”
VrOU shall hear, if you can stand it, how the
meanest kind of mommas get the high grades
that they brag of; how they outstrip most the frat
men; beat them by ten points or more.
We shall tell it in a rhythm borrowed from that
Hiawatha which was doubtless forced upon you in
the days of early childhood. You can see this
poem’s like it with one glamorous exception that
one you just had to swallow, this one you can take
or leave it,
Jn sororities on the campus live these beaute
ous young maidens, clad in clinging, youthful rai
ment, bedded soft in padded divans. Here they
spend long hours in study, while their boy friends
tackle dummies, ail the live-long afternoons.
Atop the grade list you will find them—these
alert, industrious maidens; ranging far above their
boy friends, whom they nail the “dumber sex.” Bat
tered, bruised from football practice, hundred
strong, they amble homeward, with no pep left for
their studies, with their thoughts dulled by their
aches.
Then the phone rings. It is Agnes—she who
spent the day in study, on the house’s davenport.
“Jack,” she says, “can you come over? We are
going to give a party. Maybe we’ll play some
bridge -or dance.” “Heheheh,” he hehes gaily,
“what is this? Is this a system?”
But he always ends by going—leaves his books,
ignores his studies.
In the stores about the hamlet work another
hundred men, trying hard to fight through college,
trying hard to pay the house bill. Wishing that
their pa’s were rich, that they, too, might bridge
and dance.
So the gay young girl, in evening, has upon
her but two worries—Will I get a I in econ? Does
he love me like he says? And her boy friend, what
does he think of the justice of these grades? After
hours of work and worries, sore in muscle and in
body, is it easy, let me ask you, to forget your
sports and work? Nay, nay, children, that it is
not. They mean more to some than grades. Mean
more than the honor roll.
So the soft and supple women chortle up their
silken sleeves. Wonder how a man can be so.
Wonder why he is so dumb. Call his kind the
“dumber sex.” Because he cannot shuffle decks.
The Junior Prom at Cornell university will last
till 4:30 in the morning. Why don’t they make it
5 o’clock, call it a marathon, and charge admission
to be given to the starving Bulgarians.
The ordinary cold causes the greatest loss of
time to college students, says a medical man at
Columbia. He wouldn’t say that if he had to walk
from the journalism building to education between
classes.
Because he didn’t know how to smoke a cigar,
a dramatics player at Minnesota had to learn be
fore he could go on with the play. It does not say
where they laid him after he learned.
31' " “ “■ " " ----------■[£]
j Oreganized Dementia
l?j. ■» m .. ..—— ,E
Re popular, young man, read this.
The head of our sociology department has, after
many years of research, finally hit upon a system
of short-cuts to popularity, distinctiveness, and
prominence. The following formula can be used
with noticeable effect by any aspiring young frosh,
whether he radiates the influence of a high-powered
fraternity or not:
Select almost any one of the brick sorority
houses and approach it. King the doorbell, or
if there is an axe on the porch, pound upon the
portals with it. There should be immediate re
sults.
Transfix the woman who admits you, with a
hypnotic stare. Say, hello. Tell her you want to
see somebody. You can either let her make a
selection, or you can suggest someone. When she
leaves to look up the person decided upon, turn
your attention to the furnishings.
Seat yourself at the piano and send a few
crashing chords reverberating about, depending
upon the building’s acoustics. What you want
is to have the white light of attention playing
upon you. If you can’t play the piano, why
turn a ha idspring over the davenport. If there
isn’t a davenport, then walk up to some comely
appearing young lady who may be in the room,
or upstairs, and say:
"Young lady, your face interests me.” While
she is recovering, let your eyes rove to the curtains, j
Then grab a hold of them and jerk violently.
Then leave.
* • *
THE FOLLY OF CRIME
NOTE: This ultra condensed novelette is
one of the most impressive ever written, if it
were wadded up into a little ball, flavored with
iodine, and then fed to the cat—oh, what an
impression it would make on that cat!
The man was after me. I knew it the moment
he stepped off from the curb in my general direc
tion. His dull blue eyes, frescoed by devilishly
uncouth brows, were fixed upon me with an in
tensity which is often devoted to the sun by fanati
cal Hindu dervishes. The man started across the
street, seemingly contemptuous or unaware of the
rushing motor traffic. There was a smooth rhythm
to his stride that brought him toward me rapidly.
I Change My Mind
I half-turned, intending to continue my hur
ried random travels, but a motion of his head,
and a surly twist of his sensuous lips, froze
me in my tracks. Have you ever felt disaster
teetering crazily from its shaky pedestal above
you? It is a terrible sensation. The entire
universe swims, trembles, and vibrates. You
remember, if you are not at the time an am- i
nesia victim, a myriad of small occurrences
which you have hoped to have left helpless in
the dust, or mire of the (last. It is conventional.
Man Speaks
The man was very close to me. I trembled ex
pectantly. He spoke. "See here, fellah, are you
blind?”
"No,” I replied sensibly. (I am not blind.)
“Are you dumb?"
"No," I replied again, correctly, hopefully.
"Ate you looking for. a coffin to fill?”
“No," was my truthful answer. There was a
slight pause. An observing fellow pedestrian
grinned appreciatively.
"Well,” continued the traffic policeman, "if I
ever catch you walking across this street against
the traffic lights again, I'll give you a ticket. Now
beat it.”
Freshman women debaters—are
requested to attend the varsity
women’s debate with Washington
State at 7:30 this evening in 105
Commerce. Take careful notes.
-o
Frosh debaters — are requested to
inspect the bulletin board in
Friendly hall for assignments.
Work will begin at once.
-o
Oregon Knights—meeting in 110
Johnson today at 5 o’clock to dis
cuss plans for initiation.
-o———
Congress club—will not meet to
night. Members may attend the
women's debate.
-o
International relations—group of!
Philomelete will meet in Alumnae
hall of the Gerlinger building this j
evening, at 7:30.
•-—o
Philomelete g r o u p presidents—
meet in front of the old libe,
Thursday, at 12:40, for Oregana
picture. All presidents please be
there.
-o
Dean Schvvering’s—d iscussion
group on “Spiritual Relations of
Life’’ meets today at 5 o’clock in
the bungalow.
-o
V. W. Cabinet—meeting tonight at
7:30 in the bungalow.
—-o
Professor Smith—will meet Pro
fessor Howe's class in poetry in
Villard nail today at 2 o’clock,
and regularly hereafter.
Kwama meeting—at 7 o’clock to
night at Gerlinger building. Im
portant.
Men’s and women’s glee clubs —
will have their picture taken
Thursday night at 9:15, at the
music auditorium.
-o
Council members—of Associated
Women Students must be in front
of the old libe at 12:45 for Ore
Announcing . . .
Opening
Carnival Dance
SATURDAY NIGHT
FEB. 8
at the
©lii Mill
Everything
Collegiate
Fun for Everyone
Jimmie’s 7-Piece
(Oil) Hill
Dance Orchestra
WEEK-END FARE TO
Portland
SSM
ROUNDTRIP
Tickets at this low rate
are on sale Friday and
Saturday, with return
limit the following Tues
day. They are also good
for use on the Oregon
Stages.
To Other Points
Go swiftly and in com
fort by train. Save time
and worry.
Week-end fares are also
in effect to other points.
Phone the Southern
Pacific Agent about them
and for all travel infor
mation.
0 o
Southern
Pacific
FRANK G. LEWIS
Ticket Agent
SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO.
Phone 8200
gana picture, Thursday noon. The
elected officers need not he pres
ent.
French Readings
Featured by Club
Next Meeting February 11
At Alpha Chi Omega
Short dramatic readings in
French will be the features of the
programs to be offered by the
French club at its future meet
ings, beginning February 11, at
the Alpha Chi Omega house. The
program for the next meeting will
consist of a short French reading
followed by musical numbers and
refreshments.
The French club hopes to arouse
more interest in the French lan
guage and works of French writ
ers through the giving of short
plays and readings in which mem
bers of the romance language de
partment and advanced French
students will participate.
All students of French are
urged to attend the meeting as it
will be one of the outstanding
meetings of the club, says Mr. Le
grand.
“Better get dates early for the
Senior Ball,” says Foster.
Infirmary Full
When Thirteen
Snijfiers Drop In
For the second time this term
the infirmary again has a full
house with 13 patients. All
members are confined there be
cause of colds in some form or
other.
Those on the list of inmates
are: Genevieve Gresham, Fran
ces Sale, Myrl liindley, Roger
Pfaff, Clarence Hamilton, Ma
ble Ford, Rice McHaley, Loren
zo Matthews, Marian Musgrove,
Walter Adams, Jack Hughes,
Norwald Nelson, and Frances
Keene.
Music Honorary
To Give Program
Reception Follows Annual
Affair Tomorrow
Members of Mu Phi Epsilon, na
tional music honorary for women,
will present (tomorrow evening in
the music auditorium) an hour’s
musical entertainment, to which
Tuxedo Shirts
With all those winter term formals com
ing up and with your natural desire to
look at your best, comes the necessity for
the excellent laundering of your tuxedo
sjiirt ... no half-done job will possibly
do. Therefore, remember the New Serv
ice Laundry and the excellent quality of
their work. Satisfaction is what you de
serve and what you will receive from us.
New Service Laundry
Dry Cleaning
829 High
Steam Cleaning
Phone 825
the whole campus is invited, it was
announced yesterday by Pauline
Guthrie, who is now completing
arrangements for the affair.
The program, which is to start
promptly at 8 o’clock, will be fol
lowed by a reception in the lounge
of the Music building. Mrs. A. E.
Roberts of Eugene, province pres
ident of the honorary for the en
tire western portion of the United
States, will head the receiving
line. The reception will also be
open to the public.
A real floor for Senior Ball, is
Creath’s motto.
CLASSIFIED ADS
PIANO JAZZ—Popular songs im
sic Store, 972 Willamette St. tf
mediately; beginners or ad
vanced ; twelve - lesson course.
Waterman System. Leonartl J.
Edgerton, manager. Call Stu
dio 1672-W over Laraway’s Mu
FOR SALE—1928 Chrysler Club
coupe. Good condition, good
rubber, terms. Phone 065. John
Nelson.
LOST—Bottom part of a brown
fountain pen. Return to Emer
ald office.
i
We Give S & H Green Discount Stamps
. PIIONJ 2700
First to Show the New
Spring Footwear
$7-50
A very complete new assortment oE footwear
of exceptionally fine quality leathers in the
newest patterns that everyone will like. The
heels are the new Spanish Louis, Full Louis
and Cuban, and the colors are Biege Clair—
Suntan—Manse—Black—White.
Leathers
Styles
WATERSNAKE KID
MAT KID CREPE
TIES STRAPS
PUMPS
FIRST FLOOR
ENGRAVED BY JOHN HELD JR
CURIE YOU* YOU HAVE
IRE REMSTAICE OF Ai ARMY
“Marvin Murgatroyd, you fiend, I promised myself the
rare pleasure of doing you in with my two bare hands, and
yet.. .**
“Choke away, Horace Gillingwater! Any throat protected
by the constant use of OLD GOLDS, the smoother and
better queen-leaf cigarette, is beyond the power of your <
feeble strength! There's not a cough in a carload!"
© P. L. Co.
sag*
FASTEST GROWING CIGARETTE IN HISTORY.. .NOT A COUGH IN A CARLOAD