♦* ♦♦ EDITORIAL PAGE OF THE OREGON DAILY EMERALD ~ ♦♦ ©regmt latl8 Ijmcralft University of Oregon, Eugene Arthur 1>. Schoeni . Editor William H. Hammond . Business Manager Vinton Hall . Managing Editor EDITORIAL WRITERS Ron Hubbs, Ruth Newman, Rex Turning, Wilfred Brown Secretary .Nancy Taylor UPPER NEWS STAFF Mary Klemm . Assistant Managing Editor Harry Van Dine . Sports Editor Phyllis Van Kimmell . Society Myron Griffin .. Literary Victor Kaufman . F• L P* Editor Ralph David . Chief Night Editor Claience Craw . Makeup Editor GENERAL NEWS STAFF: Dave Wilson, Betty Anne Macduff, Rob Allen. Henry Lumpee, Elizabeth Painton, Thornton Gale. Billie Gardiner. Kathryn Feldman, Barbara Conly. George Thompson, Rufus Kimball, Thornton Shaw. Bob Guild. Betty Harcombe, Anm- Bricknell, .Janet Fitch, Thelma Nelson, Lois Nelson, Sterling Green. BUSINESS STAFF George Weber, Jr. Associate Manager Tony Peterson . Advertising Manager Addison Brockman . Foreign Advertising Manager Jean Patrick . Manager Copy Department Larry Juckson . Circulation Manager Betty Hag'*n . Women’s Specialty Advertising Jna Tremblay . Assistant Advertising Manager Betty Carpenter . Assistant Copy Manager Ned Mars . Assistant Copy Manager Louise Gurney . Executive Secretary Bernadine Carrico . Service Department Helen Sullivan . Checking Department Fred Reid . Assistant Circulation Manager Professional Division.. Laughridge Shopping Column . Betty Hagen, Nan Crury The Oregon Daily Emerald, official publication of the Asso ciated Students of the University of Oregon, Eugene, issued daily except Sunday and Monday, during the college year. Member of the Pacific Intercollegiate Press. Entered in the postoffice at Eugene, Oregon, as second class matter. Subscription rates, $2.50 a year. Advertising rates Jpon application. Phone, Man ager: Office, 1800; residence, 127. SOLICTORS' Wood. Gregg, Branstator, Painton, Franzel Day Editor . Gen. Assignment . . Eleanor Night ’Editor . . Assistant Night Editors Elno Kyle Elaine Wayne Anderson Elise Schroeder Jane Ballantyne Embert Fossum Wheeler Emerald “Signs Off” In reply to vigorous criticism, Abraham Lincoln once said: “If I were to listen to, much less answer, all the things said about me I would have to close my office for all other business. I am doing the best I know how, and am going to continue doing my best at my job. If the end brings me out all right then everything said against me will amount to nothing. If the end brings me out wrong then ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.” Some such comment might be made regarding the stand of the Emerald, taken recently on the student eligibility case and warped into as many different versions as there were discussors. The final result, upon which we have hammered time after time, will measure whether the Emerald has been honestly trying to remedy an existent evil or whether it was only perpetuating personal opinions via the forum column. The Emerald is confident that after its campaign to call attention to the need for a method of ascertaining a student's correct class that the constitutional remodelling commission will produce a ruling which will settle lairly once and for all such controversial questions. Its mission completed, the Emerald is "signing off” the whole affair and leaving it with the com mission. That its intentions were misconstrued in some quarters is unfortunate. In the future the Emerald will continue to point out weaknesses in the present systems of student government and if possible suggest remedial meas ures that are constructive. When the final reckon ing is taken and if recognition of meritorious work is given, then everything that has been said against the Emerald will come to nothing. Sanctioning Socrates Adrian Duckackiak, genial though reticent pub lisher of a new literary and critical paper on the campus, has Inquired in the Emerald Forum for the reasons that his sheet should receive the offi cial sanction of a student publication committee. There is no reason, Adrian, student officials say. The Portland and Eugene papers do not ask for permission to sell their editions on the campus, nor would they ask to give them away. But here is the only difference, it is learned. It is assumed that the contributors to "Socks from Socrates" are students. The University adminis tration has a wide range in regulating student ac tion. The University administration holds the stu dent administration responsible for publications which MAY discredit the University. Hence the student government is interested. Duckackiak has already been informed that his anonymous plea would undoubtedly be quickly ap proved. There is probably no one on the campus who is either bitter toward or envious of the pub lication. Its popularity, like the correspondence school music player’s, is amazing. But if Duckackiak wants to know why it is any one’s business but his own, he must look past the student administration to the University adminis tration. Let him then ask, “What can they do?" Distinguished visitors in the persons of the American all-star women’s hockey team "lent of their stuff" to a small but eager portion of the Oregon student body while pursuing their course of travel along the coast. Unable to meet the Oregon team in a formal game because of weather conditions they leave to day to engage our neighbor institution, but they go not after an uneventful call. Efforts were suc cessfully put forth to make their short stay a pleas ant one, as well as make possible the accomplish ment of their errand. Sent out by the United States Field Hockey as sociation and comprised of the winners of city and sectional tournaments representing the entire country, they go on their way stimulating interest in the sport, sharing their methods of technique, and promoting that feeling of good will which makes the underlying principles of all competitive sport worth while. We wish them well in their undertaking. This melting snow is about as pleasant as any hangover can he. Pampered Politics With the suddenness characteristic of tornadoes and other earth-shaking cataclysms, politics broke on the campus the last few days. Simultaneous with the appointment of the constitutional rewrit ing commission, the campus “eligibles” began to bud out as the crocus blossoms after the snow melts. Campus politics is amusing, sarcastic, bitter, friendly, nugatory, or distasteful, according to the character of its abode. Past records suddenly leap into the limelight, clean-up chairmanships become important political appointments instead of drudges, and the glad hand is extended at the end of a score or so of ambitious politicians’ arms. The “hello” tradition flourishes during this regime. Students who never before knew the'editor come around to his office. They solicit his support and the support of his newspaper. Some offer to buy pictures of themselves if the paper will run them. Quite amusing, these politicians, but a necessary something-or-other none the less. Candidates’ fraternal affiliations are quite im portant during this incubation period preceding the nominating assembly. Invisible, ethereal, omni present house “ratings” endow, the candidate with great powers or few, according to the power of the house as much as the person. Around fraternity fireplaces they begin to put their heads together, to "get hot” on politics. The house’s “man” is selected. He is held out in front on a toasting fork, dangling temptingly before the eyes of the aspirants for higher positions. Person ally, the "man” feels rather futile a sort of bait to attract the bigger “fish.” Soon several fraternities will get together and mutter under their breaths dark, underhand plots against the opposition. Friends are no longer friends if they side in with the other party. Dirty looks flourish on the campus. Greetings become strained, forced. This fine Oregon spirit grows and grows until election time. The ballots are cast. Someone wins. The rest lose. Isn’t politics fun? This year’s crop of “interested seniors” is un usually large. .—.y j Oreganized Dementia is - ■—■ .. ■ ■■■.. ..—— _a History repeats itself so often that to keen observers lilte some of the Dementia Artists, it is impossible to tell yesterday from some day next week. As proof of this, our research de partment has uncorked the following bit of me dieval fact: “What’s all this rumpus going on out in the courtyard?” demanded King Marmaduke. “How the devil am I going to get all these policies engineered with that discordant racket?” Committee Wrecked “Well, your majesty,” said Sir Adelbert, prime minister, “its like this: The Knight Templars have a committee detailed to prepare for the big joust ing tournament that's coming off next month, and dissension has developed among them.” “Dissension!” bellowed the incredulous king. “About the Templar tournament? Impossible!” "True, nevertheless, your highness,” said the well-fed minister. “You see, Sir Aloyisius, who is general chairman of the Tournament Directorate, named a committee of 14 Templars to assist with the blowout. All was going well, and committee members were basking in personal publicity, when suddenly Sir Ethelred, who wasn't named in the group, loosened up with a bunch of black-mail.” Probation Threatened “Ethelred, eh,” said the King. “Maybe he ought to be boiled in oil, or put on probation." “It’s like this, your majesty,” said the prime minister, “Sir Ethelred objeeted to Sir Felix, who has eliurge of leveling the grounds for the tournament, on the eluim that Sir Felix Is as yet a Squire and is not a bona fide Templar.” “Bones of St. Patrick!” demanded the mon arch. “How does he figure that? Sir Felix has served his four years at court, has he not?” W rong Group Requirements “Sure, your majesty, that is without question,1’ said Sir Adelbert. “But you will recall that the rules lor becoming a Templar require that the can didate shall kneel and be tapped upon the head by your majesty. Last Michaelmas when the cere monies took place Sir Felix had but recently been kicked vigorously by one of the Arabian chargers and was not in any condition to-kneel. That’s what Sir Ethelbert is squawking about. You knighted him on condition. He's got that incomplete to make up yet.” “Well, that does complicate matters,” said King Marmaduke. “That ain’t all," said Sir Adelbert. “A disclos ure made this morning shows that Sir Aloyisus him self, the general chairman of the Templar Tourna ment Directorate, has not as yet satisfactorily passed the examination in horse-currying, and so is technically qualified not even as a squire, but rather as a mere page." Marmaduke Crown Prince? “This business has got to bo settled once for all!” shouted King Marmaduke, jumping down off his throne. ..“I'm going to find out just whether or not there is an honest-to-gosh Templar around this dump, and whether I am king or still crown prince, and whether you are prime minister or still only a court politician. And above all. I'm going to stop this con founded noise!” And that is the reason why no Templar Tournament was held ut the royal court that year. 5. —————'.B One Fr’a Penny By Guilfin Pi-—--iS This is to congratulate our worthy corresponding critic ‘‘X. Y. Z.” upon the remarkable and truly unbelievable insight shown by his, or her, communication. For has he not proven indisputably that he understands Fable III—that he was aware of the object of the satire? And has he not also re vealed that not even the obscur ity of the column’s heading is free from his piercing, unfailing un derstanding? Yes! This genius is wonderful—marvelous! He has rested among us unappreciated, unknown, and now at last has burst forth in a blaze of glory! We salaam before him in abject wonder . . . But after all, It isn’t fair to drag in quotations from the classics for the dirty work, be cause we’re poor, ignorant peo ple, and quotations, (especially such as these) confuse us ter ribly. We feel that we, too, are to be congratulated upon understanding his delightfully worded diatribe. To imitate: It isn’t only anything but simp ly trivialities that oughtn’t to lie brought to light and also it is the work of little brats, so what do they do but drag out a bunch of simple little triviali ties. So there. We might continue at some length with advice concerning small persons afflicted with a pet ulant desire to butt in . . . we might even explain the communi cation hy accusing the person of a desire for a little attention to his or her own organization . . . we might do any number of things, but we won’t. And so, cut to the very heart by these staring criticisms, and with tongue in cheek, we pro ceed to— FABLE THE FOURTH In the East they scoff at west ern universities—they say we have no real collegiates, no true exponents of that true folly of youth. And, it is to be supposed, Oregon comes under this incrim inating heading. But that’s not true . . . For what other reason does that group spoken of, in Greek letter parlance, as - exist? Here is the supercilia, if not the intelligentsia—having swirled about so wildly that they have at last hardened and collected into a snobby, dry, excrescence—have settled. They have taken up abode on an eminence, as befits their self-imposed superiority—a happy location, really, inasmuch as they are but a few rods from their exact opposites, the most careless, sloppy group of men on the campus, this giving them an excellent opportunity to try out their newest snobberies. It is well that they arc so ob viously, so openly aware of this superiority of theirs, for no one else is, and after all some one has to uphold dear old -. What perfect little gentlemen they are! Hands off, lady—don’t touch! This brilliant collection of thirty-second eggs have two “recreation rooms” — one In the attic and one in the basement. Sort of a clubby idea, don’t you know; and on the stairs between the two “re creation rooms” they praetice high-hatting on each other. It is said that they have plans for a swimming pool in the second floor bathroom and an immense, luxurious garage in the back yard for the foreign cars they're going to pledge. They're a nice bunch of boys, though. They're a lovely crowd of boys. You can tell them when you see them on the campus— they’re all alike and they look like this: hat rests precariously on the back of the head and one ear; shirt is several sizes too large j and the collar is pulled down snug [ at the fr?>nt of the throat to re- ' veal a snowy expanse of breast; and a suit and top-coat are of some rough, heavy material, thus striking a mannish note in the en semble. They raise one eyebrow and look down at you (even the shorter members of the tong have learned to look down up on, strangely enough); they even smile faintly, as though inwardly awfully amused y’know . . . Yes, they’re a lovely crowd of boys. It would be nice for them to have a butler. Nothing short of awfulness, y’know, to be com pelled to open one’s own door; and it's terrible to see such a lovely bunch of boys lower them-1 selves to that degree. Rifling the Stock Exchange— By Max Kessler OREGON R.OX.C. RIFLE TEAM MEETS NEW YCRK STOCK EXCHANGE RIFLE TEAM—News item smni IT UP PET^ /f cem<,' I ONE OF THE BOY SHINES HI5 SHOOTING IT STOCK E OUT WITH THE XCMANGE rsrOCX P^hah k.\j.i.v^. r\Hii vntun^iuv^LT Mid flU/1 A10HG TO TOW/1 imisco KEEPING TAB ON THE SCORE dct in two scenes; A RIFLEMAN WHO DIDN'T FARE WELL U/ITH TJHE STOCK EXCHANGE ^-L •; ©T@X£6(JH MUStl'T MME, SOI /l ■ ° VifSW urn to mtt tiyt < /f ^(SLOTHES -B'&ZR 5| I ®‘--———M—.—-g | Listening In ! On Lectures aa One of the reasons why they call Beethoven a classical com poser is because he is not classical. —Walter Barnes. * * * All knowledge is inference . . . The difference between fact and opinion is quantitative—in the number of people that agree. —Dr. Howard R. Taylor. Nine out of ten radio programs that take the air in America would get the air in England. —S. Stephenson Smith. * * * It takes an artist to work a government like ours. —Walter Barnes. S If I Were j FOOTBALL COACH j EDITOR OF THE EMERALD I would want greater freedom from censorship of both news stories and jokes than has been the case heretofore. Unless I could find someone on the campus that could be really funny, there would be no joke column. —Vernon Arnett. * * * I would run a four-page funny paper twice a week—with the re strictions that no cartoons be the product of campus artists. —Harold Fraundorf. * # # I would cut the staff of the Em erald to about half its present size, and ifendeavor to make the paper a real organ of the associated stu dents instead of a place for the developing of social contacts. —Orville Lindstrom. * * * I would continue the fight in the editorial columns of the Em erald against certain outgrown Oregon traditions still remaining. —Virginia Sterling. The Ambler _j YESTERDAY WE SAW DR. OSBORNE tearing down Thirteenth in her little coupe . . . TED PARK “falling” into the Chi Omega house . . . BILL HAM f MOND trying once again to start the Ford . . . KEITH HALL imi tating Napoleon . . . VIRGIN A LEE CRAMB returning home laden with bundles . . . the fresh men once more donning their green lids . . . LOURINE TAY i LOR having a tug of war with a police dog. Teachers Are Studying For University Credit Sixteen teachers in the town of Ontario, in Malheur county, have grouped together for the study, ■ "-TI Real Values In Shoes and Footwear TOMORROW! A great big sale . . . all won derful values in ladies’ hosiery, fancy buckles, house slippers and our regular lines of quality shoes. No use paying a high price for your slices when Buster Brown has high-grade shoes, cleverly fashioned, at such low prices that you can afford to buy a pair to complete every costume. Too good an opportunity to overlook. Buster Brown Shoes 933 Willamette Phone 432 for individual credit, of the Uni versity of Oregon correspondence course in moral training, under J. L. Turnbull, superintendent of schools for that district. Miss Hair, head of the corre spondence department, says that this is the largest group that has ever worked for individual credit in the extension department. CLASSIFIED ADS PIANO JAZZ—Popular songs Im mediately; beginners or ad vanced; twelve - lesson course. Waterman System. Leonard J. Edgerton, manager. Call Stu dio 1672-W over Laraway’s Mu sic Store, 972 Willamette St. tf LOST One gold filigreed Water man fountain pen Monday after noon. Finder please call Emer ald business office. Phone 1895. Oregon Knights meet at 110 Johnson hall at 5 o’clock this aft ernoon. Very important. --o—-—— All freshman men debaters are required to attend the debate to night in room 105 Commerce building. -o-— International Week directorate will meet at 4 p. m. at the Y. M. hut Thursday. It is imperative that every member attend. -o Sophomore independents will meet tonight in 105 Commerce, at 7:30. -o Congress club will attend U. of O.-Pacific debate this evening at 7:30. -o All sophomore basketball girls are urged to be out at 5 o’clock Wednesday for choosing of the team. -o—— Iilfle team will have Oregana picture taken Thursday at 4 o’clock in front of the barracks. -o Thespian meeting tonight in the women’s lounge of Gerlinger hall, at 7:45. -n Y. W. C. A. cabinet meeting to night at 7:30 in the bungalow. Very important. Everyone please be there. -o German club group picture for the Oregana will be taken today at 12:40 in front of Friendly hall. —-o Tail Delta Delta will meet at 7:30 Thursday evening at the Mu sic building. Important. Urged that all members and pledges at tend. DR. J. R. WETHERBEE Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat Office Phone 1601 Residence 1230-M 801-2-3 Miner Bldg. Eugene, Oregon BLUE BELL PRODUCTS BUTTER—ICE CREAM PASTEURIZED HULK We Appreciate Your Patronage Eugene Farmers Creamery 568 Olive Phone 638 NOW—The Popular Winter Recreation of Women— Bowling offers much in the way of exercise and recreation for the college woman. An entertaining sport that occupies only part of a social evening, that is inexpensive and that is a sound developer of endurance, and an enemy of avor dupois. Come in with your friends this eve ning to this REFINED Bowling and Billiard Institution. Eugene Recreation PARLOR 10th and Willamette St.