Lemmy’s Ghost
The Hammer and Coffin Society
Edited by Eolf Klep
LYRIC SCARECROW
THE CAMPUS CHESTNUT
(or Ked Nose Pete)
Words by Izzy Glutz
Lyric by Blumbsrg and Blntz
(You can sing this in any flat if
you’ve got the key)
%
Spasm
Under the spreading Nic-tine tree,
The campus chestnut stands.
A Bright refreshing boy is he,
With large ungainly hands.
(Befrain)
Convulsion
No brains, no knowledge does he
need,
Naught but a pencil and a pad,
To write the crazy lines we read,
And drive the linotyper mad.
(Befrain)
Commotion
He does not wear a flowing tie,
A dirty vest, or shirt.
Or in a filthy garret lie
On mouldy straw and dirt.
(Befrain)
Epilepsy
He is a lilting campus bard
From God’s great open spaces.
He turns out poems by the yard,
Of moons, of soap, and places.
(Befrain)
Apoplexy
Where God almighty scrubs the
skies
To please his earthly neighbors.
Bakes homemade bread, cakes, rolls
and pies,
And such domestic capers.
(Befrain)
Dropsy
Unfettered stuff, of mighty power,
Void of rhyme or reason,
Without regard for place or hour,
Hay, week, or month, or season.
(Befrain)
Locomotor Ataxia
Our modest, blue eyed, campus ham,
And proud of him we are.
He may not be a famous man,
But he is our lyric star.
(Befrain)
Strumming on
A tin can
Of wet gold
A Mexican laborer
Sings.
Philanthropist — Good mother,
what brave thought makes thee
smile at so menial labor?
Good Mother—Oh, sir Haven’t
you never heard the story of the
traveling salesman and the farmer’s
daughter ?—Lampoon.
Ghouls
A rheumatic roach rustles among
the purple shadows,
A beetle bleats softly—
Sodden gloom—
Candlelight, etching a shadowy gal
lows on the wall—
A wall of gaping bricks and mouldy
mortar—
Despair—
Empty bottles—laughing bottles—
mad, mocking bottles—
Ed Pinaud’s, Montieello, Tonavin
and Hostetters—
Intoxicating odors—
My brain reels, I utter raueous and
incoherent screeches,
Blear eyed, I watch a frightened
louse
Flee to refuge ’neath a rotten
apple—
Murder—
Dreams—rose-hued—vivid dreams—
Ecstacy—
Water—a bridge—a figure with an
anvil fettered to his neck—
Great gray shadows — stealth — I
push him in—
Delirious glee—
A precipice—again the figure,
His pockets stuffed with dyna
mite—
A breathless climb—I drop a brick
on him.
The wind—the moaning, wind—
All is still—
He is dead—
The poet—
Harsh chuckles—
A spavined scorpion scuttles swiftly
from my beard—
The candle flickers—darkness—I
gnaw a cake of soap—
Scarlet lilies.
—BLTJMBERG.
« * * •
Proud Poet—This, sir, is free
verse.
Editor—Many thanks.
CLASSYFIED AD
Hickory, Dickory, Dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
A scream, a yell,
The woman fell,
Buy Real Silk hosiery from Fat
Wilson.
BUTTERCUP ‘DONGED’
My wife and I are very happy.
In ten years of married life we
have had only one quarrel—and it’s
still going on.
We were married at a littlo
place called Pleasantville. It should
have been called Battle Creek. Be
fore we were married I told her
she had oeautiful teeth. She hasn't
closed her mouth since. I remem
ber very well the night we were
married. She came up the aisle
supported by her father—yes, he
supported her than night, but I’ve
been supporting her whole family
ever since. It was a hot, sticky
night, and as we stood before the
’altar, the minister said to me.
“Wilt thou?” I nodded. He said
to her, “Wilt thou?” She nodded.
Then he told us to clasp hands- -
and we both wilted.
Jill—By the way I hear you love
Peggy.
Jack—Yes, by the way.
' All—How did you get away with
your woman at the Prom?
Wrong—Oh, I’ll admit she was
popular, but they let me take her
out seeing I brought her in.
Miss McOnion—Isn’t this a good
joke? It’s my own.
Editor—Are you as old as that.
Verse—Your father made his
money by the pen?
Libre—Yes.
Verse—Is he a poet?
Libre—Ho; * a meat packer.—
“Do you like bananas?” asked
!the old lady.
i. “Madam,” replied the slightly
deaf old gentleman, “I do not, I
prefer the old-fashioned night
shirts.”—Black and Blue Jay.
“What a terrible proposition,”
murmured the girl, after the awk
ward eaf had asked for her hand.
* * *
* i
We humbly petition, that the
Board of Regents, in the interests
of economy, (If remove the presi
dent of the university, (2) dispense
with the faculty, (3) assume these
1 duties themselves, (4) sell the art
collection in the woman’s building,
(5) plant potatoes on the campus,
(6) lease Hayward field for a fac
tory site, (7) rent out the buildings
for warehouses, (8) use their influ
ence to place the department of
drama with O. A. C., #wing to the
fact that it is an agricultural course^
(9) rename the institution, Hank’s
Business College, and hold classes
at Obak’s.
Respectfully,
BLUMBERG,
BLUTZ,
GLUTZ.
Too Inane
Oh, give me a. dew-shelled rubber
boot,
And a good old keg of beer,
And ruffle the star-elad dreamy
night,
With the howls of rousing good
cheer.
Roll up the tracks in the railroad
yard,
Smirch them with blue-red rust—
I’m a bacon bum with my feet in
lard,
And a saddle-bag on my bust.
For I’ll truck and tear to the end
of doom
With my boot and my keg of beer,
I’ve got no teeth but I’ll use my
goom,
And march till the end draws near.
—Wouldn’t you?
—Glutz.
DAMP GOLD
Dumb—But how come you ’re ask
ing me along?
Bright—Oh I need a change and
a tonic.
Dumb—Don’t getcha.
Bright—Well, you supply the
change and I’ll find the tonic.
Little Johnny (at the races)— j
Ma, ain’t that horse fast as hell? j
Mother—Raven’t I told you be- j
fore not to say ain’t?
• • •
We Thank You
ART LEAGUE ELECTS
F. MR PRESIDENT
Portland Architects to Be
Here on Wednesday
The animal election of officers
of the Allied Arts league took
place yesterday at the regular
meeting of the leaguej held in the
lecture room of the art building.
Frank Roehr, ’26, was named presi
dent; Virginia Keeney, ’26, vice
president, and Frances Plimpton,
’27, secretary-treasurer.
Plans were completed for jury
day, to be on Wednesday in the art
department, when the Portland art
class made up of 125 women, all
of whom are professional artists,
sculptors, and architects, will visit
the department to view the work
which has been accomplished dur
ing the year by the art and archi
tecture students. Among the wo
men who will be present is Mrs.
A. C. Wortman, president of the
Portland class, who recently was
elected to the American Institute of
Architecture as an honorary mem
ber.
The program for Jury Day will
be informal. Several architects
from Portland have arranged to be
present to talk individually to the
students, making suggestions and
comments on their work. At four
in the afternoon a tea will be given
in the Warner collection museum by
the faculty and students of the art
department.
Another important feature of the
meeting held yesterday was the
reading of a resolution passed on
May by the Board of Examiners
and Registrars in Wishington, D. C.,
providing that the University school
of architecture be approved as an
accredited course as basic for reg
istration. Announcement was made
of the recent contribution made to
the art collection by Cartozian
Bros, of Portland, who presented
the school with a genuine Persian
tile.
HOUR FOR POINTING ‘O’
CHANGED TO 8:15111
The hour for painting the “O”
on Campus day has been changed.
This was the announcement issued
by Paul Ager, athletic chairman for
Campus day, Wednesday.
When the schedule was originally
planned, the freshmen who had re
ceived numerals in football were
to leave the Co-op corner at 9
o’clock on Friday morning. Under
the new schedule^ they will leave
the Co-op corner at 8:15, in order
that they may return from Skin
ner’s Butte in time to see the an
nual tug-of-war, between the fresh
man and sophomore classes.
LEARN TYPING AND SHORTHAND
Special rates for part-time students
will be given upon request.
EUGENE BUSINESS COLLEGE
A. E. ROBERTS, President
Phone 666 992 Willamette
Fancy Dyeing
KNOT AND SHADE DYEING
ALSO PLEATING OF ALL KINDS
MARX’S
EUGENE DYEING & CLEANING
WORKS
Master Cleaners, Dyers, Pressers
and Pleaters
PHONE 75
829 WILLLAMETTE
A New Marathon
Hat for Men
This full, well-balanced
Fedora is “The Star,” with
bound edge, satin lined and
trimmed. In leading shades
io f mo lea, powder, seal and
jmUtese. Moderately priced
at—
$3.98
Jap Braid Straw
Hats for Men
Here is our feature fancy
Solar bat. Of imj»orted Jap
braids with comfort-cush
ioned leather sweats; flex
ible brims; silk bands; non
soilable linings; in sand, nat
ural and white. Low priced
$1.98
The members of the Order of
the “O” will meet at the Co-op
corner at the same hour as the
freshmen football men, and accom
pany them to Skinner’s. Gordon
Wilson has been chosen to take
charge of the painting of the “0”.
The annual tug-of-war will be
held at 9:15 as previously planned.
The event will be staged in the us
ual place by the railroad bridge,
where Franklin boulevard crosses
I CLASSIFIED ADS I
<*>- — -—«
HELP WANTED—$175 to $225
guaranteed college students through
vacation. For personal interviews,
write Oregon Emerald, Classified
department, No. 22. Give full ad
dress and phone. M21,22,23.
LOST—Alpha Delta Pi jeweled
pin and guard. Call 1309. 21
EXPERIENCED COOK wants
work in fraternity house. Good
reference if desired. Call Emerald
office. 20,21,22 23,26.
ROOM AND BOARD for summer
school students. Phone 1686-J. Call
at 973 Hilyard. 19,20,21,22,23,26
TODAY
LAST
DAY!
THE TALK OF
THE TOWN
66
Charley’s
Aunt”
with
Syd
Chaplin
Don’t, Don’t Miss It!
SPECIAL
PROLOGUE
Popular Prices
the mill race, and will
by the burning of the
be followed !
green caps j
>y all freshman men on Kincaid
ield.
Fixin’s
Shirts, caps, neckwear, sweat
ers, golf hose, odd trousers,
knickers, belts, etc. You’ll
find all the fixin’s here.
STORE^MEN
713 ■WILLAMETTE
“KNOWN FOR GOOD CLOTHES’*
HATS FORMERLY PRICED
At $10.50 on Sale Friday
and Saturday at $4.95
WHITE HATS FOR GRADUATION
and many new bright colored
Hats at $7.95
Leocade Hat Shop
172 East 9th Street
i
A Modem Story v IViA a Big Natural
Color BiUical Sequence
'jfaftfcr
jnasgi
Till Saturday Night
LOUIS'b. MAYER, te
Hobart Henley’$
Production
SO THIS IS MARRIAGE1
viih ELEANOR BOARDMAN
LEW CODY
CONRAD NAGEL
CLYDE COOK
The story of a Jazz-time Wife and a Waltz-time Husband
• Added Attraction Supreme
DWIGHT JOHNSON’S
STROLLERS
10-PIECES-10
Hear this famous orchestra ibr the last times before they leave on an
extended tour of the United States. Regular night prices for this
engagement—afternoon and night, 30c.