Lemmy’s Ghost
The Hammer and Coffin Society
Edited by Rolf Klep
(The following weekly features are printed in tfie Emerald as indicated:
Tuesday, Lemmy’s Ghost, Society; Wednesday, Art, Drama, Music; Thursday,
Poetry; Friday, World of Sports; Saturday, Library Browsings, Contributions
for any of these columns may be left in the Emerald. Box at the circulation
desk in the University Libras, or at the Editor’s office.)
* # * #
THE CRIBBER
“Bill was kicked out of school for cheating!”
“What?”
“Yep—caught him with a flower in his buttonhole
during a botany exam.”
# # # #
Senior—I want permission to be away three
days after the holiday vacation.
Dean—Oh, you want three more days of grace?
Senior—No, three more days of Dorothy.
* * * #
Dear Editor:
I am in love with a Phi
Gamma. Shall I get on the
boat?
J.
Dear <7.,
No. Invest in a eanoe—
They are building on the mill
race.
EDITOR.
* * *
Dear Editor:
What would you call a man
who hides behind a woman’s
skirt?
READER.
Dear Reader-.
A magician.
EDITOR.
The young mountaineer
was interrogating
a stranger.
“You got a brother?”
he inquired.
“I had one but he died.”
“Get shot?”
“No, he wasn’t shot.”
“Drink himself t o
death?”
“Certainly not.”
“Now I know you are a
liar,” exclaimed the boy
triumphantly. “There’s”
only them two ways of
dying.
—Colyums.
“Father, what is a col
lege?”
“A football team en
tirely surrounded by root
ers, my son.”
—Purple Parrot.
“What is it, Mi*. In
terlocutor, that has four
legs and flies all around?”
“I’ll bit, Rastus, what is
it that has fo’ legs and
flies all around?”
“A dead hoss, Mr. In
terlocutor.”
—Jo.cTc O’Lantern.
I DEAR JIM—
» I’m all down hearted. You
{ know my old friend and beer
I buster, Hank Fanner? Of
5 course. He’s president and
5 riding delegate of the Anti-Pe
: destrian League here, in the
I shape and form of the Taxi
j Cabbers. Old Hank won’t
| speak to me any more, sorer
: than anything at me. You see
1 it was like this: Pete, who is
I the gride and sorrow of our
I household (from the fact that
| he weighs two hundred and
s twenty pounds at sea level in
his socks and spends his spare
time in the fall walking
; through and all over the lings
in the Pacific Coast Confer
ence) went to a party on New
Year’s Eve and got a little
1 more liquor than party. We
i were all sitting around the fire
, about twelve bells, wmiting for
Old Dad Time to bring in the
Neophyte, when in drifts
Pete, a little bit unsteady like
thfi U. S. S. Mississippi in a
heavy gale. We could discern
right off that he was well hoot
ed up and when he makes the
bald .statement “Tha’sh h’esh
| out for a good time,” we knew,
for we all knew Pete, that
' something was going to happen.
Pete started out on his joyous
and happy celebration of the
New Year by knocking out all
the window lights in the living
room, and one of the neighbor
houses. The old boy across the
alley wrapped a chair around
Pete’s neck and was getting
ready to prod him with a load
of buckshot, when he persuad
ed Pete to come back into the
house, with the ultimate result
to ns of four cracked shins
and one black eye. I would
just as soon try and argue with
the Shennandoali in a high
wind as with Pete when in the
mood he was at that time.
Merely as a rest from these
violent exertions he goes up on
the sleeping porches and tosses
a couple of beds out of the
window and then jumps out on
them to see how many times he
would bounce. The line held
and he didn’t bounce so we
dug him out of the snow with
the coal shovel. We four
brothers immediately saw the
dire necessity of conveying
Pete off of the premises, for
the sake of the future existence
of our chapter at Oregon. The
other three boys were for hang
ing and I held out for depor
tation to Siberia, but we com
promised on going out to a
midnight show where we felt
sure that Pete, if he followed
his natural instincts, would go
to sleep when he sensed the in
tellectual. We went and he did.
Everything was rosy until the
climax of the play when the
villain fired off his gat at the
hero who was successfully en
deavoring to rescue the fair
“damsu-u-1 held in the villu-u
u-n’s lair-r-h, out in the great
open spaces where a man’s
either a sheep herder or a cow
boy and never takes a bath.”
Pete evidently thought the half
was up and came out of his
sweet dreams and took in the
whole . situation, the heroine
struggling wildly in the vil
lain’s clutches and screaming
louder than Pierce did for
votes, and rvhat does this big
truck do but tear down the
aisle with a roar and with one
leap clears two bald heads and
the orchestra and in another
instant has knocked the villain
over the cliff in. the back
ground, (he wasn’t really
knocked over a cliff but only
down a flight of steps and he
didn’t say a thing when they
picked him up. Well, to get
back, where Hank comes in,
you see they called in ten of
his drivers to throw Pete out,
and what surprises me yet is
that only six of them had to go
to the hospital, I guess they
just left the rest of them for
the janitor to clean out, a
sloven trick on the janitor.
We bailed Pete out next day, a
sober and penitent hunk of
beef, but old Hank is( still
sore, and me being so hot tem
pered I’m afraid I’ll do some
thing I’ll be sorry for if he
jays anything.
ANNA NY AS.
THE FRESHMAN’S LAMENT
The old green lid sits on my crown.
The rain comes pouring, pouring down.
The water hits me with great force
And causes much remorse. ffl
The green lid sits upon my head.
I’d rather wear a hat instead.
This Oregon tradition of many years
Is enough to drive a “Frosh” to tears.
The green lid sits upon my dome,
I have no use for brush or comb.
A “Frosh” can never look all right,
Because his hair is just a fright.
The water runs from off my nose
And slyly slips down to my toes.
A physical wreck I’m apt to be,
With chronic “water on the knee.”
C want to say there’s never lack
Of running water on my back.
I never have to wash my neck,
Because the rain does that, by heck.
But folks it won’t be very long,
Until I’ll sing a different song.
Then I will laugh at the other guy,
Who mops the water from his eye.
— KLASS V. POWELL.
EDGAR LEE MASTERS
CANCELS ENGAGEMENT
Poet’s Illness Necessitates
Deferring of Speech
Edgar Lee Masters, poet, who
! was to speak on the campus last
: night, is ill in San Francisco. Word
i was received yesterday morning of
I the inability of the poet ttf appear.
Mr. Masters is not seriously ill,
but he is confined to his bed. All
his near engagements on the coast
were temporarily canceled. Until
further word is received from Mr.
Masters, the committee can make
no statement-as to when the poet
will visit the University.
Those students who sold tickets
in the houses will refund the mon
ey to the holders of tike ticets and
the unused tickets will be collected
from the houses. The committee
wishes these to be in as soon as pos- j
sible. Bill Hayden or Eugenia
Strickland will receive the unused
tickets.
Until further word is received
from Mr. Masters it will not be
known when he will appear. It is
hoped, however, that he will come
at the beginning of next term.
Varied Program to Be
Presented in Concert
By Florence Easton
*
(Continued from page one)
Morbide .Puccini
(b) Minuet from “Manon
Lescaut” .Puccini
Florence Easton
Songs May Be Requested
Encores will be chosen from the
following selections at the request
of the audience: “Coming Through
the Rye,” Old Scotch; “Annie
Laurie,” Douglas Scott; “My Lad
die,” Thayer; “Songs My Mother
Taught Me,” Dvorak; “At Part
ing,” Rogers; “Sacrament,” Mc
Dermid; “Morning,” Oley Speaks;
“Home, Sweet Home,” Bishop;
“Danny Boy,” Weatherly; “Dawn
in the Desert,” Gertrude Ross;
“Last Rose of Summer,” arr. by
Flotow; “Traum Dureh die Dam
merung,” Strauss; “Chanson In
doue,” Rimsky-Korsakoff; “Gold
en. Yesterdays,” Elinor; Remick
Warren.
DATE OF CIVIC BENEFIT
POSTPONED TO APRIL 3
The date of the civic benefit for
the art museum fund has been post
poned until Friday, April 3, due to
the fact that it conflicts with the
newspaper conference that meets
here this week-end.
The benefit, which will take place
the first Friday of the new term,
will be held in the Woman’s build
ing, and will include dancing, feat
ures, a musicale and an exhibition.
Miss Maud Kerns of the normal arts
department is in charge of the bene
fit.
CALIFORNIA MAN DISCARDS
UMBRELLA FOR SLICKER
University of California.—A man
student at the University of Cali
fornia ventured to carry a green
umbrella to class with him for pro
tection from the rain. It is said
that this caused so much mirth that
he has now discarded the green urm
brella and purchased a yellow
slicker which passes unnoticed.
NUMBERS OF GRADUATES
IN WHO'S WHO COMPILED
Amherst.—According to figures
recently compiled, Amherst has a
larger percentage of its graduates
in “Who’s Who in America” than
any other institution. She has 869
out of 10,000. Wesleyan is second
with 698. Yale is seventh, Cornell
is tenth, Princeton is eleventh and,
Columbia is sixteenth in the list.
Amherst has procured 32 college
presidents.
JUDGE G. F. SKIPWORTH
TO ADDRESS PHI DELTA PHI
Phi Delta Phi, men’s law frater
nity, will have a dinner lecture next
Thursday evening. Judge G. F.
Skipworth of the Lane County cir
cuit court -will be the speaker, and
he will discuss with the men dif
ferent cases and problems of law.
This will be the second of a series
of such meetings held by Phi Delta
Phi.
TICKETS FOR NEWSPAPER
BANQUET PUT ON SALE
Tickets for the annual banquet
of the state newspaper convention
at the Osburn hotel, Friday night,
may be purchased from Inez King
or Raymond Lawrence, in the Jour
nalism building. The price is
$1.50 a plate. As many students as
find it possible are urged to attend,
as the event has proved very popu
lar in past years.
PATRONIZE
EMERALD ADVERTISERS
DR. LESLIE SCHWERING, 20,
OPENS OFFICE IN EUGENE
Following several years absence
from the University, Dr. Leslie
Schwering, member of the class of
'20, has returned to Eugene, which
aside from being the scene of his
University days, is also his home
town. After completing his work
at the University, Dr. Schwering
studied at the North Pacific Den
tal college in Portland; and after
graduating he practiced dentistry
for two years in Seattle. Dr.
Schwering recently opened an of
fice in Eugene and is resuming
practice.
LETTER RECEIVED FROM
OREGON MAN IN HONOLULU
A letter from Chi Sung Pil, 2o, I
now employed as physical director j
of the Honolulu Y. M. C. A., has'
been received by Mother Donnelly
of the campus hut. Besides his !
regular duties he is organizing a;
Korean baseball team which he will j
manage this coming spring, he j
writes. Pil w’as a member of last
year’s Oregon baseball team. He j
left school last term to accept his
present position. i
UNERASED DRILL CUTS ;
TO GIVE INCOMPLETES:
This Week Last Chance to
Make Up Absences
t
R. O. T. C. headquarters an- j
nouneos that this is the last week .
for making up unexcused absences
from drill periods.
Those having not over three cuts
may make up such absences by at
tending one extra drill period for
each absence, but each absence
above three must be made up by
an attendance at two extra drill
periods.
Colonel Sinclair says that any
student having a cut to his credit!
after the end of the week wall be I
given an incomplete mark for the!
term’s work.
This week the students are being
put to a little test for the purpose
of determining their efficiency.;
Hfeitiff' ^ueIda^
MARCH 17
Order Your Seats by Mail Now
_OTIS_ .
SKINNER
In the Merry,Spectacular SANCHg
Gbmpony of 40 Players, Sinqers, Dancers. PA NZA
As big, if not a bigger production than “Kismet.” A
brilliant, whirling, colorful panorama of drama, music
and dance. “SANQUO PANZA” is based on that gold
mine of Spanish humor, “Don Quixote.”
Mr. Skinner and his large company stops
at Eugene on his transcontinental tour be
tween San Francisco and Portland.
SANCHO PANZA is one of the greatest comedy figures
in all literature, brought to life by America’s great
est character actor.
A HUGE PRODUCTION, presented by Russell Janney,
staged by Richard Boleslawsky of the famous Mos
cow Art Theatre, the dances arranged by Bert French
of the Music Box Revue, the songs and music by the
brilliant Hugo Felix.
AND THE SPLENDOR of the entire production en
hanced by gorgeous costumes and scenery designed
by James Reynolds of Ziegfeld Follies fame.
PRRICES—Floor, 15 rows $2.50, last 3 rows $2.00.
Balcony 3 rows $2.00, next 3 $1.50, next 7 $1.00, plus
10 per cent tax.
Mail Orders Now—Seat Sale Monday, March 16
i
Fresh Strawberries
We have received a shipment of Fresh
Strawberries. They’re real strawber
ries, big red, delicious ones, served a
month before the regular season.
Served by the dish—35c
Fresh Strawberry Sundae—40c
Ask to be served with fresh strawber
ries. You’ll surely appreciate them this
time of year.
College Side Inn
The length of the drill period is de
termined by the way they drill. It
seems that some, at least, have
reached a high state of efficiency;
since the one o’clock class yester
day was dismissed after fifteen
minutes of drill.
GENERAL GEOLOGY CLASS
STUDYING ROCK FORMATION
The general geology class took a
field trip Friday afternoon and Sat
urday morning to Skinner’s Butte to
study the geologic formation. The
specific problem was to discover
data for a short paper on the struc
ture of the butte and its probable
geologic history. In this work,
samples of rock were taken from
different parts of the hill and clas
sified according to their types and
geologic occurrence.
ENDEARING FAREWELL BID
COLORADO TEAM BY CO-EDS
University of Colorado.—Twenty
five University of Colorado co-eds
went down to the train to see their
team off to Hawaii, and kissed the
players goodbye in turn. Some of
the more bashful players were
forcibly held out of the train win
dow’s while the co-eds pinned chaste
kisses on their resisting lips.
STANFORD SHEEP PROVE
VALUABLE TO UNIVERSITY
Stanford University.—The flock
of 240 sheep kept at Stanford uni
versity for the last ten years, is a
self-supporting body. Not only do
they serve as an efficient lawn
trimming combine, but at each semi
annual shearing, they yield approxi
mately $350 worth of wool.
;Dt Royal Qick
SPIOWISIST — OmOlAM
M«xt Door to Flrot Nation^
! Bonk
171 WHIamotto tU ftugono
They’re Here
the new Biscuit Shade
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I
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